


My love will save

by lilyy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Sex, Bobby Singer Lives, Brotherly Love, Consensual Sex, Demon Dean, Hurt Dean Winchester, M/M, Oral Sex, Protective Sam Winchester, Romantic Angst, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Surprise Pairing, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-20
Updated: 2016-01-31
Packaged: 2018-05-07 22:26:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 40
Words: 96,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5472812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilyy/pseuds/lilyy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean to save his brother Sam from the evidence, it becomes a demon, but now his soul is damned for eternity. Will the love of Sam to save him?<br/>It is inspired by the end of the 8 x 23!..</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I decided to translate my ff in English, I am Italian, so if there is some mistake be patient :) I can not do better :)

It had been a long time since Dean had become a demon  
   
Dean Winchester had become a demon  
   
They looked like two words that could not be together in the same sentence: Dean Winchester and demon. Yet it was just so.

Dean had sacrificed everything to save him, even when he was dead. He had sold his soul to hell and gone ... and Sam was willing to bet that if he could, he would have remade ... only this time, the price for the healing of Sam was not dying ... it was very peggio..Dean would not have died, the transformation from human to demon would take place while he was still alive ....  
   
Sam remembered everything .. remember everything about every single moment beat Dean for having hidden a thing for so long, every single moment when with tears in her eyes pleading with him not to leave it again, in which said they would find a solution, he would have adjusted things, could dissolve the pact, there was still time, the conversion was not yet complete .... Dean, a face full of punches taken from Sam, looked at him sadly and said that he would not and that it was already too late

 

Then he slumped to the ground and began to twitch, burn ... Sam took her in his arms his body glowing ... .the burning the skin but do not let go, he continued to pray his brother to fight, to not give up, Dean continued to tell him to leave, he had to get away from him, and then shouted and screamed in pain ...  
   
Bobby remembered that came and shocked with an expression immensely sad to see that scene ... Dean suffering in the arms of Sam, both of her boys surrounded by flames that licked their bodies ... why was alive again? To see one of his guys to do that end before his eyes in a sea of agony?  
   
Dean remembered that although suffering begged Bobby to take Sam, take him to the hospital, away from him ... Bobby remembered him tugging away and if you took away from the arms of Dean, holding back tears, but not before giving a gentle caress sad Dean.

 

*  
   
It had been six months in which he had lost all trace of Dean ... he knew this new demon that was once Dean Winchester, all the demons he spoke often to hurt Sam, said that he was a talented, and Sam did not want to shew What they meant by talented, he kills them all before they had time to explain it ...  
   
He continued to go looking for demons, but never saw Dean, and began to suspect that escaped from him ... maybe he thought that would kill him ... but how could he even could not think that would do him harm?  
   
Did not give up, went to look for him and to kill as many demons could, in the hope that the message arrived, and that is that his dear brother Sam wanted to see him, and NOT to hurt him, but he would continue to talk ... to kill demons up in that Dean would not agree to meet him  
   
But perhaps the "new Dean" does not matter even if the kill his "companions"  
   
Shuddered at that. HE was once his companion, travel, room, friend, brother, confidant, everything ... not those assholes demonic  
   
   
He collapsed to the floor putting his head in his hands and thought, "I beg Dean back, I feel so alone without you"

 

 

*  
He did not want to believe that there was no hope of saving it. Not yet.  
   
He had been tipped. At that time a hunter named Lacrosse was on the trail of the demon that had once been Dean Winchester, perhaps at that time had already reached in the old abandoned cabin in Kansas Street. It was the chance of Sam, Dean finally had found, she could not leave it disappeared again and he could not let a hunter would hurt, or vice versa.  
   
   
   
Arriving at the lodge feel of the sounds of a struggle. Sam immediately rushed inside. The first thing he saw was Dean, a little 'banged, and slightly tanned face, white shirt, looked cold and arrogant, smiling ... the shadow of a smile curled his lips.  
   
The hunter was on the ground, half stunned, dean over him giving him a leg soccer  
   
Sam almost gasped. It was decided to approach the cabin and open the door. "DEAN" he shouted as the other continued to lead kicks  
   
At the sound of the voice of Sam, Dean jumped. He turned slowly and looked at him with an unreadable expression.  
   
Sam heart was beating wildly. 6 months. They were six months he had not seen his brother. He took a deep breath. He thought he had run for kilometers.  
   
   
"Sam," Dean said. His voice was cold as ice; if itself had a few crumbs of emotion to see him, his face did not betray any.

 

"Dean, I've looked everywhere" Sam hated the desperate tone coming out of his mouth  
   
"I know, that's why I do not let finding" replied smiling  
   
Sam these words hurt more than hear say "Sam" with the coldness. heedless of the danger he was in, went even further.  
   
"Are you trying to hurt me to walk away, but it's useless, I will not go"  
   
"You mean not before killing me?" Dean replied with a dismissive smile  
   
"Dean! I never had any intention of doing so, you are my brother! "Sam was almost about to cry. He came up even more.  
   
"I was," said Dean with serious look, and even a little 'sad? Sam hoped to you.  
   
"You still are. It does not matter what you are now. I will always be my brother. Dean look. "He said, because Dean had looked away.  
   
"Look" he turned his chin with his hand to force him to look at him. Dean allowed himself to passively. Sam looked in his eyes something of the old Dean. He had a frustrated expression. She put her hand on his chest. His heart. Beating. He is beating even stronger. He was the cause? Sam hoped to you.  
   
Dean drove the hand that held on his chest as if it were a fly molests  
   
Sam stubborn he put both hands on his face: "Dean, please, come home with me"

"You kill?"  
"Never," said Sam

"And if I asked?" He smirked Dean

"I'd rather die," said Sam  
   
They looked for a moment, and Sam hoped he had convinced Dean to follow him, when the corner of his eye he saw the hunter who had risen suddenly, trying to stab Dean. Sam was frightened moltssimo, was faster, and stabbed him in the chest.  
   
He watched the hunter who collapsed in a pool of blood and slowly exhaled his last breath. Sam felt terribly guilty but could not leave him to kill Dean ...  
   
Dean while he looked stunned. He could not believe that Sam had just saved his life. Meanwhile other hunters were coming, Sam and Dean noticed it right away and escaped, but, with great regret Sam, Dean evaporated and followed him as he wanted.


	2. I missed you, Sam

The following evening Sam was still thinking about what had happened, as he returned to his room. . He had killed a man and to save a demon. Until a few years ago if you had he said no one would believe, but The demon was his brother.  
 

It was too upset to call Bobby. He needed a few days to recover, metabolize the fact that he had revised his brother after six months and have lost on the same day ... and then maybe ...  
   
 

Meanwhile he was doing these thoughts, he saw a shadow in her motel room.

 

Hope returned bully in his soul. He turned on the light. Dean was. He still had that smile of his evil. And if he was wrong? now if it were not nothing left to save?  
"Hello Sam" Dean said smiling malignant

  
"Hello Dean" replied swallowing

  
"You know ... I expected a warmer welcome ... why not come here and hug your older brother?" Said Dean

  
Sam did not answer. Dean what he had in mind? Because he was returned to him that night?

  
"Why are you here?" He managed to say with a little 'of hesitation.

 

Dean looked puzzled and a bit 'surprised. "You have done so much to look for me, I've begged him to come back and now I'm here ... are not you glad? "He said, frowning. "You're a little 'psycho, little brother," he said with his usual smile, and at that time it seemed just the old Dean.  
   
Meanwhile he was getting much closer. Sam did not understand. He wanted so much to hug him, but now this version of Dean terrified him, and if he tried to hurt him? He would have to defend himself and he did not want to have to hurt him.  
   
"Hey, it's all right Samantha. Take eat eat easy take easy "

 

"Stay away, stay away," repeated Sam backing. Until it collided against the wall. He was trapped. It was completely trapped.  
   
Dean sighed eliminating the distance between them. He reached out to Sam's face that he closed his eyes instinctively squeezing, but soon put it to him gently on the face, Sam relaxed muscles while enjoying the caress, the first sweet gesture he received from Dean, a long time.  
   
"You saved my life," said Dean  
"I had to" gasped Sam not knowing what to say  
   
Dean gently leaned his head against the front of Sam. He kept his eyes open, and Sam could not tell if it was a gesture of tenderness or just a way to incutergli suggestion. And he did not care. Dean feel so close, after months, was something ... he wished that time would never end.  
   
"I missed you, Sam," he said

 

Sam sighed. He'd have liked to hear those words that now seemed almost to have a hallucination. She hugged instinctively clinging to his shirt.  
   
"I missed you too," she said.  
   
Dean returned the narrow floor, but seemed to think of something else. Moving floor face on the neck of Sam, and suddenly said: "I was forgetting your smell, Sam, you smell good"  
   
Sam backed away instantly and was about to dissolve the embrace, but Dean stopped him back against the wall  
   
"We stayed away too long, Sam, and not good, the brothers must remain united," he said, still smiling, and before giving the time Sam to argue, even closer to his face.  
   
"What are you doing?" He asked a frightened Sam on his lips  
"To you what you think?" Dean said in a whisper from him, focusing on his mouth, but no kiss him again  
   
"Dean please, get away, we're brothers, I am your brother, what's the matter?"

 

Dean smiled evilly again before answering "Then stop me" after which zeroed the last few centimeters that separated his mouth from that of Sam, and laid it on his lips.  
Sam stared, unable to comprehend what Dean was doing. He remained motionless, looking at Dean who gave him the light, often and soft kisses on his lips, holding a hand over his face, then slowly opened her lips slowly deepening kiss most wanted, until I inserted the language always with same delicacy.  
   
Sam was mesmerized by what he was doing .. Dean knew it was wrong, and he knew that Dean was not forcing. "Then stop me" said Dean. but Sam could not take it to stop. He did not even know why. She tried to push him, but he saw himself only make him a tap on the chest, which might seem more like a caress than a real boost. And when Dean put his other hand on the face pulling him more against him in a kiss languid and slow, even that little resistance vanished. Sam let himself be guided by that kiss so wrong but so tender.  
   
Dean was a demon. Yet at that moment was touching him in a so delicate, tender, she was kissing him romantically not as a monster, and Sam was so surprised by this thing, and he felt so happy to get back Dean so close, that he could not remove him , could not take it, even though he knew it was wrong ... and then was kissing him so so sweet. Sam began to return the kiss, he did not even know why.  
   
Dean seemed to galvanize the sudden change of behavior of Sam, smiled on her lips and began to move out of his mouth to kiss her neck floor but intensely as if he was doing a hickey. Sam tried to suppress groans, he had to admit that Dean knew we really do if he wanted to excite anyone. He lacked the air and at the same time he felt as if he were returned to breathe after so long. All that time spent without Dean. He closed his eyes and sighed, clinging to the hair of Dean. when Dean moved suddenly took Sam's arms, and put it around his neck, and Sam let him do; after taking him in his arms and lifted him toward the bed


	3. I deserve to be loved

Dean Sam gently laid her down on the bed, and then sat down on his lap, but remained at a distance, and stood staring at Sam. He felt a fire burn, and see Sam so docile and submissive to him, as it would never have been if he had punched or threatened, excited him to die. It made him feel strong, made him feel powerful. It made him feel ...  
   
He loved ....  
   
Dean drove the thought out of his head and replaced it in a size and at a time when even the words "love" and "loved" still had some importance to him, when he still was not a demon, and looked back at Sam.

 

Sam felt a little uncomfortable in that position, he was in a bed with Dean on his legs, staring at him, and he felt awkward, uncomfortable, he was embarrassed and did not want Dean to look at him that way, more felt the emptiness of do not feel the weight of Dean on himself and this helped to make him feel out of place and make it more polished causing shame to take the upper hand, but before he could say anything to dampen the silence, Dean as if he had read my mind He came up with more weight on his body  
   
Sam one hand you feel slightly relieved of change of position, the other was feeling even more confused. Dean on him both into a single bed. Over the years were very physical .. hugs, caresses, but had never gone so well, and why would they? They were brothers, and then did not imagine that his body would have that reaction to a more intimate contact with his brother  
   
   
Dean rubbed on the body of Sam to try a bit 'of relief to keep up in the clutch felt so close, and felt that Sam was trying to suppress the moans. Suddenly he said with an unreadable expression: "Why do not reject me Sam? You can not find disgusting what I'm doing? "

 

Sam said with difficulty: "... if you're perverse, maybe ... we both ..." Dean looked surprised at his answer but did not reply. He went instead to kiss his neck, mouth, rubbing his face, hair, and even to stroke slowly the chest through the shirt  
   
   
Sam thought at the beginning that this was all wrong. Dean was his brother, he would not have heard him moan, not for him. But he could not control it. After ten minutes of these caresses, however, every bit of lucidity was going disappearing and Sam began to not refrain. That situation embarrassed him to die, and feeling that Dean kissed his neck in a sensuous way and never get to the bottom, was making come uncomfortably hot. He wanted to say to Dean deprive him of the shirt, because they get so stuck Dean himself who challenged him with kisses and remain fully clothed was doing it out of my head and wondered why Dean we put so much with the foreplay, and say he had almost afraid it would be too impetuous beginning  
   
   
"Dean," he decided to say after a while '.

 

Dean heads instantly know that he had called on his name in ecstasy .. stopped, cupped his face in his hands and asked, "Do you want me to stop?"  
"No" bother Sam.

  
Dean looked confused.

  
"I feel ... hot ..." Sam said. Saying those words cost him a great effort and turned away, feeling my face burning.

  
And here's the back ghignetto mocking on the face of dean.

  
"Look, look, my chaste brother Sammy feels warm. Since when did you become so shameless, Sammy?"

  
"Since when did you become a fan of foreplay?" Sam replied in turn surprisingly mischievous and a bit of growing anger in the tone. He could not understand what he had in mind and Dean suspect not really wanted but that he was just kidding about to leave in a few minutes with the sole purpose of humiliating him, leaving him again, and in that situation, it made him feel angry and It pained him.

  
Dean said nothing and clung even more about Sam, in a fit apparently angry. Then relaxed suddenly and returned to stroke their necks to get down slowly on the chest, she continued to walk with his hands on Sam's chest through the shirt and watch mesmerized, as if he were thinking of something else.  
Suddenly Sam flashed an idea.

  
"You're ... you're asking permission?" Asked Dean intimidated.  
Dean looked at him. "Do not be silly Sammy"

 

 

That look was enough to confirm that Sam was right. Dean was asking permission to go ahead, he flashed a hint of sweetness in the heart. He had lost all his humanity. The situation was really strange. Only the idea of asking Dean to strip him embarrassed him so much, was always her brother after all, but at the same time she wanted, wanted.  
   
"Please take my shirt, Dean," he said when he seemed to have clouded the mind enough to overcome the shame  
   
Dean returned to his usual sarcastic smile, but more confident this time.  
She put her hands under her shirt and began to stroke it again, slowly. This time more firmly. Sam replied with shivers of pleasure to his caresses.  
At that time Dean decided to take off his shirt completely. Sam felt naked at that time under the watchful eye of Dean, vulnerable and so Dean pulled back to him encouraging him to keep going.  
   
Dean felt that now was as excited as he or perhaps even more, patted him on the back floor and slowly put his hands under her shirt too, then pulled it to him. Dean let him.  
   
Even the head of Dean was clouded with excitement and almost starved taken to kiss intensely and with languid kisses the chest of Sam, who could no longer suppress the moans of pleasure. Sam hugged her hair. was completely shocked by the sensations he was feeling, he would never have imagined being able to try a pleasure so totalizing receiving kisses and caresses of a man ... let alone that this man might be his brother.  
   
Then leaders because he felt so well. It was not just for sex. It was for the love he felt for his brother. This was to make him feel so.

 

 

"Stop being so noisy, Samantha" said Dean suddenly looking  
Sam chuckled nervous: "My breathing is normal," he said.

  
Dean ignored him and said, rather amused, "you're so noisy with all the girls you've brought to bed, Samantha?"  
Sam replied quite seriously: "No".

  
Dean looked at him, uncertain whether the response Sam was some sort of statement and Sam looked at him a bit 'worried, realizing what he had said and expecting some kind of reaction.

  
Dean said nothing, but she kissed him back hard on the mouth and Sam concluded that, yes, the one who had told him he must have liked.

  
After a few more minutes of kissing and rubbing various, Sam heads Dean of his initiative would not do anything and tried to reverse the positions to be him to drive the situation but at the first hint of lateral movement, Dean stopped his wrists and held them to him nailed on the bed in a rather strong.  
"Dean, you're hurting me," said Sam rather alarmed by the close

  
At those words Dean loosened his iron grip on his wrists, but his hands stayed where they were to hold their wrists Sam  
"You are a bit 'too hot for my taste, Samantha, chill out, ends when I say so," he said in a rage. He was angry. Why? Sam wanted to know.

 

 

"What's the matter, Dean? what's wrong?"

  
"You have tested the hypothesis that MAYBE, it's your fault, not excite me enough, Samantha? "He said scimmiottandolo.  
Here again the Dean arrogant, cruel Dean, the Dean DEMON

  
But Sam did not want to be deceived, he tried to hurt him in self-defense, and he had to figure out what he wanted to defend himself  
"It is not true, I feel that I want, there is something else, it's because we're brothers, right, Dean? why do you want proteggerm ... "Sam did not finish the word because Dean resumed serrargli hands around his wrists in a fit of rage, furious, saying:

  
"When you put it in your head? I am a demon NOW, I do not care NOTHING about you, I do not feel anything for you, I do not feel ... "  
"Ahhhhhh Dean you're hurting me. Ah! "

  
At those cries of Dean he left Sam's wrists as if scottassero. His face had a frightened face  
Sam rubbed plan wrists and lifted her face up to Dean, even the blind fury of Dean was shocking how much sense and see the fear and the pallor of Dean painted on his face when he began to cry.

  
Suddenly a thought flashed through his head  
"I'd better go now," Dean said, standing up and trying to catch his shirt but this time it was Sam to block his arm  
"Let me arm, Samantha," Dean said trying to sound threatening, but it sounded just tired

 

 

"Dean," Sam said slowly. "You…. Are you afraid that something may happen to me if you ... if we ... "Sam left the sentence hanging in a rather eloquent  
   
A Dean shook his lip for a moment but he tried to recover immediately.  
   
"What? Of course not? These are your mental movie, Samantha. Leave me your arm or I swear I'll break "and Dean hated the whining tone you hear come from his own voice.  
   
Sam thought he saw something shining on the face of ... Dean leaned his forehead to his brother as he had done the same Dean just one night ago, and Dean did not try to push him away.  
   
Within two seconds, and Sam felt something wet fall off the face of the Dean and slipping on his eye and then fall down her face and finirgli lip. He tasted bitter and salty as that of a ....  
   
   
tear…

 

 

Sam took Dean's face in his hands just in time to see his eyes riempirsene other, and felt something break inside him and make a bad dog  
   
At that moment, even Sam's eyes filled with tears and always taking into Dean's face in his hands, he said: "Oh Dean, looking only to protect me, just like you always do, that's why you did not want, and I have not understood, Dean oh I'm so sorry "and hugged him tightly. Dean stood like a statue of ice, a very sad expression on her face.  
   
"Dean, please, stay with me tonight, we should not necessarily have sex, I only care about you to stay here with me," he said without dissolving the hug.  
   
But Dean did not answer, and Sam broke away to look him in the face.  
   
Sam had no intention of repeating the question, because he could not accept a rejection at that time, did not want him to leave, then took his arm and pulled him whispering in the ear with sweet tone: "sleep hugging Me, Dean "  
   
Dean did not answer. He let himself be drawn by Sam in his arms without resistance and Sam astounded his surrender, but then realized.  
   
Dean just wanted to be loved and feel loved. It did not matter what he had become. It was always him. Dean and his brother never wanted anything but this.  
   
Sam lay back in bed and put her head on his chest Dean.

 

Just so settled, Sam feel a slight metallic sound close to his, beating his chest. It fell just one point above the chest of Dean. It was the sound of a heart. The heart of Dean.  
   
"I thought that the demons did not have a heart," Sam quipped, hoping the sarcasm enough to trattenergli emotion.  
   
"I thought you were more sentimental, Samantha, so I'm disappointed," Dean said.  
   
"I can become so again, if you start again to call me Sammy" Sam said, taking his hand and putting it on his chest, to feel at Dean that his heart was pounding in unison with him.  
   
Sam did not know whether it was that phrase, or gesture to make him feel his heart, to soften Dean, perhaps one of the two, or perhaps both, the fact is that Dean smiled, and it was a wonderful smile, not the usual sarcastic grin .. She looked at him and smiled, and then kissed him again softly  
   
   
   
They non made love. Dean was afraid that his new demonic nature would transform or contaminated Sam if they had consumed the relationship and after all he had done to protect it, after what had cost him, did not want to blow it, and Sam part His only wanted to have his brother beside him. He cared only that.  
 

 

Throughout the night, Sam continues to ask Dean if he loved him and Dean always answered every question with a kiss. Sam stubbornly kept rifarglela, and Dean continued to kiss him. Sam thought that at some point Dean would pissed and he intimated to end it or he would go, but Dean did not, indeed seemed amused. Each request was smiling and then gave him another kiss, or smiled as she kissed him.

  
They non made love, but, slept embraced, huddled together, and it was in every way, much more intense and intimate lovemaking

 

 


	4. Look more

The next morning when Sam woke up, it takes a few seconds to figure out why he felt so happy because she had a feeling of physical well-being that radiated all over the body as if it had been sprinkled with a thousand scented oils for massage; rarely she awoke feeling the physical so relaxed. Always slept badly, when we could, of course.

  
He woke up and gave the reason of his being. Dean. was no longer on top of him, he was lying on his side but with one arm still encircling the chest. Probably his arms had rocked all night. That's why he felt so good.

  
He turned on his side watching him sleep. He wondered if, upon awakening, Dean would regret last night. Not that anything happened to TOO compromising, but that was enough; what he should do? Perhaps Dean did not want to find him close when he wakes up ... especially watching him sleep. Oh what the hell, who cares, Sam thought, and toyed with a lock of her hair, and then rigirarsene other between his fingers. They were really grown much.

  
He imagined to tease the hair, since he had made millions of times with his, and thought he lost a chuckle. After a few minutes Dean growled: "I're spettinando"  
"It's relaxing," said Sam giggling

  
"Spettinarmi is relaxing?" Dean asked trying to sound annoyed but it seemed as if he were the merged  
Sam chuckled.

  
"You do not have anything better to do than look at me sleep? Why do not you get a hobby? "

  
Dean asked rubbing his head on the chest of Sam as a puppy cat.

  
"I was watching you do not sleep, I just woke up" Sam tried to say with little conviction.  
"God, Sammy, you were watching me sleep like a little girl. "

  
"Jerk." Said Sam

  
"Bitch." Dean said, standing up and taking his face in his hands and kissing him.

 

 

 

 

It was late morning, and Sam was taking a shower, when out of the bathroom he saw Dean looked up from the newspaper he was reading to watch Sam on his way out of the bathroom; Sam noticed his eyes, he was smiling tenderly. Al'improvviso said, "because I always look like this?"  
   
Dean looked surprised: "how so?"  
   
Sam replied: "come..come if I ...".  
   
Dean frowned a little worrying.  
   
Sam sighed and smiled, "like I was the most precious thing on earth, you've always done. You always do."  
   
Dean replied a bit 'annoyed: "I did not know that it will disturb, it will mean that there will keep you more, princess."  
   
Sam then came Dean's ear and said, "I love how I look."  
   
And it was true. Sam thought about all the times in which Dean had launched one of his intense looks. He was sad, angry, happy or arrogant, those looks had always cooked to perfection.  
He has always loved those fucking eyes. He wondered if already in those moments was in love unconsciously Dean unknowingly.  
   
"When you do that, my eyes can not help but to chain your" Sam went to his ear. "Did not you ever noticed?"  
   
"Okay, I would say that the atmosphere is warming again and you know what? I also I need a shower this morning, and not only you princess "said Dean embarrassed rising from his chair  
   
"Anyway ..." Dean said, stopping and turning suddenly "If you too embarrassed when I look into your eyes, I can always turn my gaze, to other views," Dean said, stopping to look at the seat of Sam, who was in his boxers.  
   
"Dean! stop immediately, "he said Sam suddenly blushed.  
   


Mmm "Dean said with a smile taking a sip of beer.  
   
In response, he gets a cushion in the face.  
   
"Take a cold shower" Sam said trying not to laugh, but it was fun.

 

 

 

When Dean came out of the shower, the first thing he saw was Sam who looked at the phone with a sad expression.  
   
Dean felt a wave of panic through it, he hoped it would not happen just that, Sam did not ask him to leave, maybe it was a bit 'naive but we had hoped.  
   
"I have to leave, right?" Asked Dean dry.  
   
"Dean, not what you think," said Sam sad.  
   
"Is EXACTLY how I think, instead," said Dean sad.  
   
"Dean. He called Bobby. Apparently we have a problem with Castiel and Crowley. He asked me to come back NOW in the Batcave "  
   
"Bobby called?" Asked Dean, who seemed to have heard only the part of Bobby and his face lit hear.  
   
Sam noticed and nodded with a smile: "Yes, he asked me to come back immediately, but Dean, I do not want you to leave," he said resolutely  
   
"Sam ..."  
   
"Bobby will be waiting Dean, he will definitely, you have my word .."  
   
"Sam ..."  
   
"Please, let me handle"

"Sam, no, it can not function. What the story huh? How dare I come back after ... after what I have become? "

   
"Dean! Bobby you're like a son, we are like his children, do not reject, "he said Sam beginning to be alarmed.  
   
Dean looked at him doubtfully  
   
"And ... and then I do not care a damn what you think okay? We do not need his permission, he not even really lives in the Batcave with us "  
   
"And Castiel and Crowley? What do you think would say my sudden arrival on the scene? "  
   
"Castiel ??? It is desperate since you went away and I think that you would collect with open arms, and you're really worrying about CROWLEY? "Sam looked shocked  
   
Dean let out a chuckle.  
   
"Dean does not leave me alone with these two crazy," Sam tried to play the card of supplication and Dean laughed.  
   
"Living with them is really so terrible?"  
   
"Seriously? Castiel is a real disaster, every time I try to stretch the shirts, do damage, and the pit, Crowley refuses to cooperate with us and you have not seen Castiel make nice to him trying to calm him down, he continues to say that redemption Crowley is a sign of God and continues to harass him to make him understand. "  
   
Dean laughed. "And Crowley?"

 

"Well at the beginning she gave him a punch, now strangely ignores only" Sam said as if it was even worse.  
"It's not a good thing?" Dean asked undecided whether to call strike Castiel was somewhat gratifying to Sam.

  
"NO. I'm afraid of what might happen if they start to ally the two of them together. Who knows who might make trouble "

  
"Ahahahahah! Well, Crowley has said repeatedly that he needs to be loved, so I think it's good for him to have a boyfriend, "said Dean amused  
"Because I have the impression that there was a double meaning in this sentence?" Worried Sam.  
Dean chuckled.

  
"Oh no, please, that gruesome picture" Sam blinked.

  
Dean put her arms around his neck, smiling, "is perhaps less indecent than going to bed with your brother?"  
"We, we are Sam and Dean," Sam said, his voice a puppy smiling.

  
"And we will always be Sam and Dean" Dean said giving him another fleeting kiss. "Let's go, before I change my mind; I look forward to driving again in my car, "he said quite ecstatic. "I missed you too! But before we go to breakfast! "

  
Sam shook his head. In some ways it was still the old Dean and this was comforting.

 

 

 

Baby resume was spectacular. Dean just shooting to lead, ancient sensations and flavors that seemed lost, the risommersero with the power of a hurricane.  
   
  After a while 'the return journey lay ahead very sultry, there was still a lot before they arrived, and Sam the heat was making him go sleep, so he did something he had never done before:  
He leaned his head to the legs of his brother as he drove and sank back into sleep.  
   
   
Dean was surprised by the gesture. She stroked his hair, looked at him tenderly, and felt at home. So, he thought for the first time in a long time, that is, maybe there was still no salvation for him, perhaps the light at the end of the tunnel that always saw in his dreams, were not the fires of hell


	5. back to the start

Despite the initial good feelings, Dean began to feel more nervous as they were about to approach the arrival of the bunker .. was no longer safe as before wanting to go back, and salivation began azzerargli.  
   
"Sam, I am not sure it's a good idea for me to return," he began.  
   
Sam glared at him.  
   
"I mean, maybe ... maybe it would be better if only you go, and you start, you begin to prepare them for my possible return."  
   
"Is it possible? "Sam trod.  
   
Dean ran a hand over his forehead. He was beginning to sweat.  
   
"I mean, I can not".  
   
"I .. Dean, Castiel and Bobby we never stopped looking for you, and not for the reason you think."  
   
Dean felt a wave of heat drown their chest making him feel lighter.  
   
"Really?" He managed only to say.

 

"Good heavens, you should expect this, did you think you would leave? You no longer have confidence in us? "Said Sam angry.  
Dean sighed. "When you're a demon ..." he began, then sighed ... it looked like about this cost him a great effort.

  
And Sam did not really want to hear the rest, but at the same time feel himself could not help but respond: "Yes? "

  
Dean took another breath stronger. "When you're a demon, they deprive it of most of the things that hurt you when you were human."

  
Sam looked at him amazed and surprised. He believed that demons had become a punishment, a punishment, it was hell. What he had just said Dean, resembled the heaven.  
"But when things are human, they are never black or white, are always nuanced" Dean continued, imagining what he was thinking about Sam. "The same things that make you feel bad can make you feel good, but when you become demon is gone this ambivalence, so all that made you feel good or bad at the same time, disappear to give way to white and black. "  
Sam felt even more confused.

  
Dean continued: "Consciousness is one of these things, and guilt" by saying this sentence lingered watching Sam with a look that seemed guilty, Sam noticed it and wanted punch him.

  
"Do you feel guilty for ... for yesterday night?" He asked, barely holding back the anger he felt inside montargli.

  
Dean smiled and touched his cheek with a gentle caress, Sam reacted by moving his face, obviously offended.

 

"I do not feel guilty, but I would ...

 This is the bad thing about being a demon, remember certain feelings but not the feel, and this makes you feel lousy."  
   
Sam heads that Dean felt guilty because they did not feel guilty, and this apparently seemed a paradox.  
   
"I do not feel guilty about the fact of not feeling guilty," said Sam eloquent.  
   
Dean looked at him and smiled. He seemed relieved and this made him feel a bit 'better Sam.  
   
"However, I have not yet figured out what this has to do with the speech that you thought that you do not rivolessimo with us," continued Sam aware of star back on a mined territory, but curiosity was too great.  
   
Dean sighed again trying to find the right words: "When you become a demon, slowly come private of all those feelings that you were human, made you a better person, the first feeling to go away is the hope, then arrives disillusionment, all those things that made sense to you suddenly lose it, you continue to remember that first sense to you were angry, it's just that you just can not remember why, "said Dean.  
   
Sam gripped his heart to hear these things from his brother, to make sense of what they had always done, save lives, had always been the one for which they have always fought, and now he had been ripped off. His fault.

 

"Are you aware of what you are, and understand that no one can love you, not because you love you more, and if enough time passes can forget what it means to" continued Dean.  
   
Sam thought of the words of Crowley: "I just want to be loved, I need to be loved."  
   
"This makes us heartless, cruel makes us, makes us ..."  
   
"There? CI? "Interrupted Sam upset.  
   
Dean paused to look at him. "I'm sorry, it's just that ..."  
   
"Do not Apologise! And do not say CI. You and those damn demons motherfuckers do not have anything in common, do you understand me? "  
   
Dean began to look on the steering wheel, making a face.  
   
"No, Dean, listen to me, now I do not care if you have lost hope and your humanity, and now you think you can not be saved, or you do not care, it matters to ME, is that clear?"  
   
Dean kept quiet.

 

"You have moved heaven and earth to bring me back the soul, do you remember?"  
Dean said nothing.

  
"I have not forgotten."

  
Dean sighed.

"It was the last thing I do, I take you back. you will return as before, LO  
PROMISE "  
  
"Oh take me back to the start" trilled the radio  
All'iniizio me back ....

  
It was a piece from the song Scientist, and Dam and Dean stopped to hear that phrase.

  
Dean turned back to look at him. She wanted to thank him, wanted to hug him, tell him that he was sorry, he wanted to cheer him up, he wanted to tell him that there was still hope to regain his brother back.

  
But he could not. He did not say.

  
   
  
   
  
   
  
   
  
   
  
   
  



	6. Homecoming

He was now back to the bunker, Sam kept murmuring words of encouragement to a terrified Dean, until they found themselves facing the entrance.  
   
"Are you ready?" Asked Sam.  
"No," he replied the other.  
   
Sam turned the lock, entered and pushed Dean to do the same, watched him go reluctantly and then stop and look at the ceiling, the walls, the furniture ... seemed moved and Sam came back strongly hope. Suddenly they heard voices talking excitedly, looked, it looked like the voice of Bobby.  
   
   
"HOW MANY TIMES I still have to discuss with you CRETIN the same things?"  
   
They rushed to see what was going on  
   
In a small room there was Bobby arguing with two other guys  
   
"I have better things to do than you babysit you two babies."  
   
"Now why do not you sit a bit 'old? Take a coffee, "he lazily Crowley  
   
"DO NOT TELL ME WHAT I DO" shouted Bobby  
   
"Stay calm, Bobby! Think of the pressure! "He tried to sedate him Castiel.  
   
   
"I do not come back to life because you two idiots make me mad, just back Sam tell him, I do not I can do it. "  
   
"Bobby" Sam had meanwhile approached and put a hand on his shoulder.  
   
"Sam, you're back," said Bobby rather relieved. "Finally, these two idiots to take my front feet, please," muttered ruefully.  
   
Sam could not help but smile: "I promise I will not have to deal with these things alone, Bobby, Dean and I ..." he turned to meet the eyes of Dean but collided with an empty space where before there was his brother.  
   
Bobby was taken aback: "What? What did you say?"  
   
Sam replied: "Dean! Dean was with me until a minute ago! "He said rather agitated.  
   
"Dean ??? Dean was here? "Asked Bobby purple.  
   
Castiel got up immediately and rushed out of the room: "Dean, Deannnnn! "

 

Crowley that he had been impressed by the sudden appearance of Dean, although in fact none of them had had time to see him, said: "Tze you poor idiots. You did run away. AGAIN." He concluded smiling.

 

 

 

 

Meanwhile Dean had left the bunker running, stopped panting for breath, paused a few seconds to look at him, undecided whether to run away immediately, before it was too late, when he turned and saw Castiel right in front of him. He held his breath.  
   
"Dean," he was depressed  
   
"Cas," Dean said  
   
"I still say it that way," said Castiel "with vague sense of despair, pleading, and a bit of nostalgia"  
   
"Maybe, but you're no longer yourself without the trench," Dean said that he wanted nothing more than running away from them, get away from all  
   
"If that's why you're even more yourself" said Castiel.

 

Dean tried to leave, but Castiel blocks his arm: "no, no, Dean, bad move"

  
Dean punched him, Castiel saw stars, but he recovered quickly and swung him another.

  
"Castiel, no! Leave him alone! "Was the voice of Sam who was about to join them.

  
"This was for your brilliant idea of becoming a demon, after spending a lifetime fighting them" he said Castiel holding pinned to the ground.  
"And this" "swung him another" is to be missing all these months while we were wondering where you were all finished "

  
Castiel "began Dean.

  
"As far as I knew, could be captured by another hunter, you could be dead," he said, opening his eyes, and holding him by the collar.

  
"Cas"

 

He swung him another. "And this is for trying again to escape"  
   
"Enough!"

"Hey, I had not finished, I still had to return the punch that gave me"  
   
Castiel felt tugging two heavy arms. It was Sam. Castiel took another blow, this time from Sam.  
   
"What the hell is wrong with you? For months we let Dean and you just see the barrel of the massacres? But what have you in the head? "Asked Sam pinning down, furious.  
   
"He tried to NEW to escape, you should thank me, if it was not for me disappearing for 6 months"  
   
"My God, Dean" Bobby muttered seeing Dean passed out with swollen cheeks.

 

"Thank you? Hopefully after this reception, Dean not decides to leave or you will see it with me. "

  
"The want to end up, you two? You may know what you guys? "Rebuked them Bobby

  
"It worked the last time when he wanted to sell to Michael"

  
"I think he's right Castiel" interjected Crowley.

  
"You shut up" chorused the two.

  
"Stop EVERYONE" shouted Bobby and all fell silent instantly.

  
"NOW, any of you idiots wants to help me bring in Dean?" Asked Bobby.

 

 

 

 

 

Dean remained unconscious for two hours and Castiel disposed anger seemed to have regretted his moment of anger.  
   
When she came to, Castiel was the first to notice it with Sam.  
   
"Mmmm," Dean began rubbing the eye sore  
   
"Dean, how are you?" Asked Sam immediately  
   
"From sucks. You have not lost your touch, Cas, even if you're not an angel "  
   
Castiel looked at the ground sadly. "I'm sorry"  
   
"Is a phrase that is very fashionable these days," retorted dean  
   
Castiel did not answer, but left the room.  
   
"Angels. When I was the king of hell I always said that you had to kill them all. I was right, "said Crowley  
   
   
"He hates me," said Dean.  
   
"No, Dean ... you do not hate you ... I'm sorry, I did not know that Castiel would react so ... as I told you, we were all very worried and sad for your passing"  
   
"Moving. I would feel guilty if I could feel guilty "

 

A litany that Sam was beginning to come to boredom, but Dean justified with the fact that probably lay behind the sarcasm in self-defense.  
   
"Do not you hear us? It is a relief, you've always been a conglomeration of guilt, "said Bobby  
   
Dean turned his eyes on Bobby, and stood up with great effort. Sam tried to help, but Dean did not want. "No, I'm alone."  
   
He got up and looked at Bobby and said with a sad smile: "You can choose to embrace or throw holy water in my face, but I hope that you choose the first, because I have already taken ga" and was unable to finish the sentence because the gruff Bobby hugged him too much emphasis. Dean squeezed back and could not say anything because the emotion was too much and he thought that if he tried to say something, would burst into tears.  
   
Bobby probably thought the same, and under the guise of traffic in the kitchen, walked away.  
   
Dean threw back heavily on the couch and sighed deeply, then buried her face in her hands. Sam hugged him tenderly and gave him a chaste kiss on the hair.  
   
"Will settle everything, you'll see," she said. Then he got up, and headed Room Castiel. did not feel completely safe to leave Dean alone, but did not believe that would have run again, and he had to speak with Castiel, he had to reason with him, Dean needed the affection of all her loved ones, at that time.

  
 

 

 

"Castiel?" Said Sam knocking. He received no response, then entered.  
   
"What do you want, Sam?" Asked Castiel sad  
   
Sam sighed. "To come back to be reasonable. Dean is destroyed. He needs the love of all of us "  
   
"Dean has given up well since he decided to follow the evil, Sam, is a demon now," she said sadly  
   
"Castiel, now look at me in the eye and tell me if you really watching Dean's eyes, see evil"  
   
Castiel looked up but was unable to support the deep eyes of Sam, then lowered it.  
   
"Apparently it seems the same as ever, but ..." and his voice cracked  
   
   
When he lifted his eyes again he saw that Sam was looking at him with contempt  
   
"I know what you're thinking, I myself have done terrible things, and I've been forgiven"  
   
"Because that's what friends do, what makes a family," said Sam  
   
   
Castiel said nothing  
   
"Perhaps the reason for my anger is just that I missed too"  
   
"Then prove it," said Sam  
   
And he left  
  
 

 

 

After 15 minutes Castiel decides to come from there, it took 2 or 3 minutes to decide to call Dean, but in the end he did  
"You come across a second? I have to show you something ... "

  
"Want to give me another punch?" Dean was unable to restrain himself.  
"No" said Castiel desolate.

  
"So you want to throw the holy water in the face or imprison me in a trap of the devil ..."

  
Castiel turned away discouraged, but Dean stopped him "hey wait wait I was joking, come along"  
And Castiel felt relieved.

  
They went into the old room of Dean and Castiel opened the closet.

  
"Why are you opening my closet? It's not that you want to tell me you have taken possession of my closet while I was gone eh? "Worried Dean.

  
Castiel smiled: "quiet, I just want to see a thing ..

  
He pulled out the old leather jacket of Dean and gave it to him.

  
Dean looked at the jacket without a word, caressed him with her hands. no longer she saw him in a long time ... after processing fled without taking anything.

 

"... It is clean, neat ... it seems .."

  
"Yeah, well, I did not get dusted, so occasionally it washed ... .volevo remain beautiful ... ..for .saresti back when ..."  
Dean looked at him without saying anything.

  
"A part of me has always thought you'd come back," he justified Castiel  
It looked like so much of what he wanted to say when Dean discover that Castiel was not drowned when the leviathans had left his body, which immediately rushed to embrace him

  
"Thanks Cas" said Dean moved.

  
"Welcome home, Dean," Castiel said, returning the embrace.

  
Dean still embraced in Castiel, Sam saw that watched them from the door ajar, and he was smiling.

  
Dean smiled.

  
Sam then went away. Perhaps a hint of jealousy he felt, but deep down he was glad that Dean had found his old friend, he deserved it.

 

 

 

 

 

When Castiel and Dean back in the lounge with the other, the atmosphere became more relaxed, and especially Dean wanted to know what the hell they were fighting Bobby, Castiel and Crowley when they arrived.

  
"The fact is that the idiot has seen fit to attack and terrorize an innocent passer accusing him of being a demon," said Bobby disgusted.

  
"It was not my fault, it was to tell me that Crowley SECOND HE was one of the most dangerous ones." Castiel said.

  
Crowley was snickering.

  
"Is the truth?" I glared at Sam.

  
"I said that IN ME might have been, I did not say that it wa.s"

  
"Well anyway I was able to intervene in time and fortunately the gentleman did not press charges" growled Bobby hiding a chuckle.

  
"Of the truth that we have become your new children after the moose and squirrel" said Crowley ironic doing to embrace him.

  
"GOES AWAY, do not touch me, you may contaminate" he snapped between the middle and the Restless half jokingly Bobby standing on.

  
Everyone laughed, even Sam and Dean, but Sam had felt a chill to the sentence spoken by Bobby joke, and Dean, turned precisely to meet the expression of Sam.

 

 

 

 

Despite this, the evening was punctuated by the student spirit and laughter, everyone was very considerate with Dean, and Sam could not help but sometimes to lean her head on the shoulder of Dean when they were sitting on the couch, she could not help herself, and Bobby and Castiel noticed that Sam was unusual because normally you do not ever let go spontaneous affectionate gestures toward Dean, who were not hugs; but they found it strange that much since Sam had been separated from his brother for so long, in fact judged it tender. Crowley instead looked at them suspiciously.  
   
No one made Dean questions about his life demon, all preferred to pretend that things were normal as they ever were, at the specific request of Sam; Dean deserved a day of absolute relaxation and peace. There would be time to haunt him tomorrow and every other day, in fact, it was Dean himself to do it, but he deserved a day of peace. That's what Sam had asked.  
   
   
After a bit 'a bit' at a time all decided to go to bed, as it was very late, Bobby decided to stop there for the night, greeted everyone and went to bed, with the following Castiel and Crowley  
   
   
Sam and Dean were alone, were not sure what to say or what to do. Neither of them wanted to separate.

Sam glanced at whether any of the other was still around, and gave Dean a quick kiss, but intense, before going to his room reluctantly.

 

 

Dean went into his room. And to think that she was so happy when you discover that bunker, to have a room of her own, and yet now he wished they had more beds neighbors, as always, did not want to be alone that night, but ask Sam to reach it was too dangerous, they could find out.  
   


 

 

Sam on his bed kept thinking of Dean in the other room. He could not leave him alone, not that night, she needed him, left him alone if he would think, would become sad, would have spent a terrible night and sam of reflection, then he decided to leave the room to reach

 

 

 

Open the door without knocking Dean.  
   
"Sam," Dean said. the relief in his voice was evident.  
   
"You should not be here, if they see you ..." Dean began trying to force himself to show themselves annoyed by his presence.  
   
Sam with a movement, locked the door  
   
"Is that better?" She asked.  
   
"No," said dean  
   
"Dean, I could not leave you alone tonight"  
   
"You slept in bed mo" Dean said looking into his eyes  
   
Sam looked at him and did not try to deny.  
   
"How do you ..."  
   
"Your scent, Sam, is everywhere, my bed is soaked your fucking smell," Dean said, seemed moved  
   
"I ... I ... you've been away for so long, and I felt too miss you, and then ..."  
   
Dean waited for Sam to continue, with shining eyes  
   
"I do not ... ..it was the only way to feel close, when I slept here feel your smell, the first time, and then ...." He could not continue  
   
"Sam"  
   
"Is so pathetic," said Sam.

 

" It is not. You know what, Sam? I could still dream the first time after the conversion, and you know what? TE dreamed. "  
   
Sam came over and kissed him. She kissed him long.  
   
Then he got into bed with him and when Dean started on his side, Sam hugged him for life in the classic position spiral. Now it was Dean who needs to feel safe.  
   
A few minutes and both fell asleep.


	7. Tell me what you did this summer

Sam left the room of Dean in the early morning, taking great care not to be seen by others, but Crowley was already awake and saw him leave just then, and his suspicions were confirmed.  
   
   
Sam was in the kitchen putting up the milk in the saucepan for breakfast, at that moment came that Dean gave him a tender shake the hair and always a peck on the hair, holding a hand on her hip, "Dean," Sam said softly, as a sign of warning  
   
Crowley was sitting at the kitchen table and looked vaguely in their direction.  
   
Dean if he could, he probably would have asked for the floor to swallow at that time, instead merely to ignore it and say, slept well, Sammy? "  
   
Sam was slowly catching fire, and not to heat the stove, said: "A wonder, and you? You have rested?"  
   
"A marvel" said Dean unstressed

 

Crowley was sipping his coffee, pretending to be completely focused, after a little 'Castiel stood crossing corridors.  
   
"How are you, Dean?" Asked Castiel  
   
"Um," he said Crowley pretending perplexed "I think he was taken to the great" he replied with a smile and walking away thinking: "The angels are so stupid"  
   
Meanwhile Castiel almost collided just with Sam who was coming from the opposite side.  
   
"Hey, Sam, he told Crowley that Dean was taken to the great"  
   
Sam continued walking mumbling something incomprehensible.  
   
Castiel became puzzled, went into the living room and said, "what did Sam? He barely calculated "asked Dean.  
   
"You know how he is, early morning is intractable," he said Dean drowning in his glass of milky coffee.  
   
   
Despite the small morning incident, which nevertheless neither Sam nor Dean gave us particularly weight saw that what he had seen Crowley could well be added to the voice innocent brotherly affection, the hours proceeded without drama until at 13:40 pm, when Bobby started to speak.  
   
"Dean, there's something I should talk to you, we need to talk."

 

Dean felt immediately uncomfortable and became defensive.  
   
"Tell me, Bobby. "  
   
Bobby sighed heavily. "I need you to tell me about your life in recent months"  
   
Dean looked down making a big sigh. "Bobby, you really can not ask me to talk about this, please, I'm asking you to trust me"  
   
"Dean, you know that we would have asked, when we welcomed back home we did it with an open mind, generosity and affection we feel for you, but you did not think seriously that you do not we done that we would have ignored all questions or doing pretend that it never happened "  
   
"Bobby" Sam began.  
   
"No, Sam, do not meddle.  
Dean, we love you, you have to trust, what happened to you do not delete this, but you have to talk to us, if you want me to help. "  
   
   
"You say that what has happened does not change anything, but you want to know what happened to me in recent months, if it really does not change anything because YOU WANT TO KNOW? IS A SPEECH HYPOCRITICAL "  
   
"CURSE, DEAN, we are trying to help you"  
   
"BOBBY" Sam repeated.

 

"What do you want to know specifically me, Bobby? Want to know if I hurt someone? If I killed? Why do you have welcomed back among you, huh? "He shouted to the others.  
   
"Because we love you, Dean, because we are a family," said Castiel.  
   
"Pure Gospel Castiel" Dean chuckled. "I want to, but you think it's a monster," he added  
   
"No one here has said Dean, we know who you are," said Sam.  
   
"But not enough for you, you want to be sure," Dean said with a trembling voice.  
   
"You can not ask us to ignore this. You definitely something terrible happened in recent months, if you want me to save you tell us how far you've gone, "Bobby repeated.  
   
Dean shook his head again.  
   
"Dean, no one is judging you, even if I had done something wrong, we know that you can not control it," interjected Castiel.  
   
"It is instead" said Crowley.

 

They were all dumbfounded, even the same Dean.

"Yes you can control it," he repeated Crowley displaying great patience.

  
"I did not ask to be defended" she said Dean piqued. The idea of being defended by Crowley was more than he could bear.

  
Crowley sighed again, "even if the arrogant prince here does not deserve it, I am compelled to come to his defense to avoid being flogged for crimes he did not commit, such as murder, for all the others you can talk" he added, looking Dean hoping that seized the allusion, and Dean looked down embarrassed.  
"You may know that crap are you shooting?" Bobby was angry.

  
"The squirrel did not hurt anyone, except himself, stupid hominids that are not more"

  
Bobby was silent, still unsure whether to believe or not to Crowley, but rather relieved.  
"And you're saying this on the basis ..." began Castiel  
"Dammit, along with that bunch of fools I went to mix? You watched the eyes? BLACKS have never become, if only for an instant? And if you want another try, "said Crowley and started to go to touch the chest of Dean, who had to step aside immediately.  
"BEATS. HIS HEART BEATS "he said triumphantly.

  
"Demons do not have a beating heart, you do not need them. It stopped beating since they stopped loving "

  
Sam felt a great warmth wrap it in the guts, then maybe Dean was not a demon, maybe you were wrong, it was all a huge mistake.

  
"Enough, ENOUGH, why are you doing this? Why are you deceiving them? I'm a demon, and it's not right what you're doing now, you are deceiving them of "  
"YOU, GOOD TO KENNEL. I have not finished, "said Crowley. "When I finished, I speak"  
  


"Demons do not cry, at least that's the prevailing opinion," she said Dean Crowley just shut up "do not get excited, not moved, do not lay in the mat a few punches, they have no light shine in your eyes and do not dream "

  
"Enough, I do not know what you're trying to do, but stop" shouted Dean.

  
"Perhaps you want to say that Dean is not a demon?" Asked Castiel. Bobby had lost the words.

  
"I mean," said Crowley, careful to choose the words "that is not human and did not lie about this, but it is not completely corrupt. His soul is not yet fully black smoke. Its transformation is not complete. "  
The confusion grew up under the eyes of all, even of the same Dean

  
"The only thing that can damage completely soul when it is in transition, and annerirla, is the greatest sin that exists. MURDER. Only if you take away from your life of someone else, you're damned forever. "  
General silence. Dean then had not killed anyone?

  
"So there is nothing that you have to inform us, squirrel? You went around to tear people lately? "Crowley asked smiling.  
Dean said nothing.

  
"Dean, please talk" pleaded Sam.

  
"Probably too ashamed to say that it is closed in the house for six months even isolated from a fruit fly, for fear of even hurt an ant" grinned Crowley.

  
"Is that?" Interjected asking confirmation Bobby Dean.

  
"ENOUGH. Because you are all by listening to him? why not keep thinking that it's a monster? "he asked Dean falling to his knees.

  
Sam was just next door and hugged him to try to calm him down, after a while, 'he spoke in a low voice: 

  
"I could not do it, I could not accept it," Dean said, his voice breaking.  
"What you could not accept, Dean? "Sam asked stroking his hair.

  
"To be a demon, to become one of those damned monsters that have always hunted. I did not can."  
There was a pause and then Dean got up freeing floor of the embrace. Her eyes were bright.

  
Stood up: "At first it was terrible. I had not become a demon before passing from death to a slow and ultimately internal corrosion, it happened all of a sudden, and my body did not have time to get used. He could not stand the transformation. "

 

 

Dean began to move walking in a circle: "I was burning, it was like ... like a slow spontaneous combustion ... my heart stopped beating and then suddenly returned to throb so loud, I stopped breathing d remained pinned to the ground and two seconds later I returning air in the lungs, the skin it became red, scarlet, and two seconds later he was back as before, his head was throbbing. My body was trying to fight the transformation "  
   
"I was dreaming still of the night ..." and here was a little hesitation.  
   
"I dreamed of my old life..with Sam, with ... with all of you, then I started dreaming only blood, death, violence ... was the nature calling me, he wanted me to do that for which I was created," he said, looking the hands.  
   
"I knew, without knowing how, that if I killed someone, I would never be able to go back," she said, weeping. "Sure unless I found someone that I cared, but only the idea of asking once again a thing Sam ..." shuddered.  
   
"I could not get back to you, I did not dare after what I had become, and over the months passed, the more I lacked the courage ... because I for one I was losing hope of being able to go on as before."  
   
"What happened next?" Castiel urged him to continue.

"You want to know cosa'ho done in recent months ... I hid myself ... the other demons were looking for me, some to ask me to ally myself to them, others wanted to make me pay for all those who had killed their species, not to mention the hunters ... Entries They spread quickly and the news that Dean Winchester had become a demon ... many began to hunt me down."

"God, Dean, she got past" Bobby said sorry. "If only you had been in touch with us, we could have ..."

  
"thing? Put you in the middle in my trouble? Go wild hunters at his heels? I did not want to involve you "said Dean sad.

  
"Is this you have done all this time, did you hide?" Said Crowley.

  
"NO" Dean said annoyed. "I kept trying to save people, at first ... but then I had to stop," she said desolate.

  
"You have continued to hunt? Without us? "Sam asked.

  
Dean was silent.

  
"And why did you stop?" He wanted to know Castiel  
"It was too much."

  
"Too much?" Repeated Castiel.

  
"I felt TOO" Dean said as if it cost him a tremendous effort.

  
"You felt too WHAT, Dean?" She urged him Bobby.  
"Feelings." Said Crowley.

  
"How?" Asked Sam.

 

"Feelings" sighed Crowley. "Dean probably if you get close enough to a human being, he could still hear his lifeblood, hope, all of which disappear when you become a demon, but he was not totally, then even perceive these feelings was like burn out with a candle, was hurting his body. He tormented him. It was too intense. "

  
"So I began to do the reverse ... I tried to kill the people of my SPECIES" Dean continued, "but whatever I did, it was NEVER enough. The hunters were after me. Always. I had to move all the time, and I was chased by the other demons who wanted to take revenge. I really wanted to get back to you, begging you riaccogliermi, but did not want to put you in danger, and above all, I was afraid ... "

  
"What do you rivolessimo more?" Sam whispered.  
Dean remained silent.

  
"You're an idiot, you know Dean? I'd like to kick you, "she scolded Bobby. "How could you keep in this shit all these months?"  
"That's enough, Bobby, I think you feel enough like shit," Sam said. "Dean, why do not we still talk about the two of us alone?"  
"No, Sam"

  
"Or are we just going to eat us a sandwich, you will not again about this, I promise you, in fact you're right, you've said enough"  
"you do not understand, does he?" Asked Dean.

  
"What?" Asked Sam afflicted.

 

Dean sighed. "I no longer feel the FLAVORS, Sam, it's all so tasteless ... almost I do not remember what it tastes a pizza, everything is so muffled, barely feel the wind, and if I think about my past, I have lots of memory leaks, not even remember what was the most favorite song of mom who always sang "  
   
"Hey Jude" Sam said, and could not help but feel 2 scendergli tears down his face  
   
"Yes ... I know now that it is, but I do not remember the lyrics. "  
   
"Dean, do not ..."  
   
"It is no longer I, you understand?" He said in exasperation  
   
"Dean, please, always, if it is not so, tell me now that you feel nothing for Bobby, and Castiel to me, say it now"  
   
"I feel ... I feel. I FEEL. But it is so ... PAINFUL. I can not stand it when I hug, you feel the affection you have for me, it hurts me. It's like a knife in my chest is stick "  
  
  
   
  
   
"As we did not notice? Dean, we're sorry, "said Bobby heartbroken.

  
"It is not your fault. Now I can control it, to bear the pain, "said Dean.  
Dean sighed. "But now I have to go."

  
"what? NO. Not after all we've been through, that you spent "stirred Sam.  
"Dean, please, let us help, DEAN!" Shouted Bobby.  
"Let him go!" Said Sam locking.

  
"Are you completely crazy?" Said Bobby.

  
"Bobby, I predicted it would happen," said Sam.

  
"And then you're even crazier not to have prevented, Sam!"

  
"No! I attached the GPS to the car. No matter where you go, I will find him always. But I think that now need to be a little 'alone. I do not think that should be still very far, in this state, do not really want to separate themselves from us. "

  
"You say? Why then and there I thought was quite convinced "began to gesticulate Castiel.  
"Trust. "Sam said impatiently.

  
"Sam, can I see you a second?" Crowley asked suddenly.  
"Sure," said Sam amazed.

  
"From ONLY" said Crowley, and he was growing impatient.  
"Oh, okay" said Sam.


	8. If life, then, is only appearance, what then are the memories?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam finds Dean!

A week had passed by the flight of Dean Winchester from fucking bunker.  
   
When he escaped, he had even fear that the clique formed by old Bobby, the little angel, the devil and redeemed his brother - the love of his life - the were immediately on him, begging and pleading with tears in his eyes to stay with them, he would make a sad face, then indignant and what would become of disgust, perhaps he would also injured, and everything just to remove them, but to protect them dall'abominio that was, or that had not yet become but there was no doubt that it would become short - was useless, silly and pathetic hope otherwise. Then when we got home he would be free to hurt and despise himself for how he had treated. It was thus that she should go, reflected in cold blood, clearly, a few hours later the Great Escape.  
   
But of course it was not so that was gone.  
   
NO ONE had tried to stop him, not that he really wanted that they did, they would have only made it more difficult and painful, but in some corner of his heart now black - so you believed - had really hoped that they would. Stupid bipolarity cabbage.  
   
Indeed, HIS BROTHER - the love of his life - he even shouted - or so it seemed to feel, except that perhaps his hearing almost no more human was playing tricks on me causing auditory hallucinations - the old man to leave him alone , to leave him to go away.  
   
BUT CERTAINLY WAS OBVIOUS, he kept telling himself with rage and humiliation, why his brother would have to continue to want it with him after his sensational revelation?  
Why would she want with him still a monster that did not feel anything, human or demon, a kind of middle way, a hybrid repugnant?  
  


Downs another glass of whiskey realizing that was sinking in those kinds of human emotions that repelled when he was human, let alone that she could think of them now as hybrid: self-pity. Human emotions were hard to break, and they went with raucous cries heartbreaking in a recess of the brain.  
He detested.

  
That was why the drowned in whiskey.

  
He really believed he could take refuge in the love of the old Bobby, Castiel, Sam, he had really believed that what had become one as he deserved more love, just wanted to pretend that you did not tell it had been taken away, was across a giant illusion, even those died hard.

  
Who knows what they were doing now, away from him ... he had a desire to go back so poignant, from them, was willing even to pretend to still believe in those blessed human feelings, such as love, hope .... It would have been a lie, but would agree to say anything to get them to take it back with him, whatever. Here it was pathetic, really pathetic.  
"Give me another, Mary" ordered the bartender blonde. "Double" he added.

  
"Have not you had enough?" Said the red-haired girl who was studying to be a few minutes Dean carefully.

 

Dean barely turned to look at her. He'd recognized the voice. Jessica was. A demon who had met during his six months of hell .... He knew who he was, knew that once killed those like them, tried to seduce him anyway telling him that they were now in the same boat, he drove out in the wrong way, the insulted, and immediately remembered that he burst into tears like a little girl hysterical. She had cherished, she consoled him, understand him, or at least that was what the despair of that time suggested to him ... maybe it suited him to believe, does not know more now. The fact is that we were in bed, and it was also nice, and for a while 'also consolation. But it did not last. After three or four times, they stopped seeing each other. Dean had been wanting so, and she a little 'upset but not at suffering, had agreed, and this was another demonstration for Dean clear and obvious that the demons did not like. NEVER.

  
Now what the hell he wanted from him?

  
"What are you doing here, Jessica? I told you to disappear, I told you do not come back to me. "

  
"Honey, do not be so rude, and think that I missed you so much ... and then I was curious .."  
"Curiosity Kills" said Dean continuing to drink.

  
"To know if you had completed the transformation," said the demon licking his lips.

  
"Do I look like I've completed? Look at me. "Dean said, opening his arms without specifying what he meant, clearly alluding to his attitude of despair.  
"It is for a girl you drink?"

 

He could tell him to get the well-deserving his cabbages, but he decided to be honest, or almost "No," said  
   
The harpy sat next to Dean and said seraphic "I might be able to console you as the last time, what do you say, we want to see if I can still?"  
   
Dean looked at her, and indeed she still could not understand how he could just let this be repugnant to speak to him, and he felt a moment of new self, he was a wonderful feeling, that intoxicated from head to toe, but It was not durable. Then he was gone and feel cold again, again the darkness had swallowed. He saw only black. Is cold.  
   
He turned to look at her and saw that he had completely blacks. They were encouraging and falsely sweet. But they were not green eyes of Sam, and had nothing of his natural sweetness, genuine.  
   
   
"Come on, give me a smile, Dean, I kind desperate dismantle" she said, and at that point Dean felt a strong electrical discharge pervaderlo somewhere deep within his being and doing a bad dog, pressed her chest, and a terrible feeling of dejavu the shots. He had heard a phrase like that, was when he signed that deal with that bitch demon to save Sam's life many years ago.  
   
Sam. Sam.Sam. always him. It was where he turned the wheel all. The mixed blessing for his entire life.  
   
And then the memories cursed. Every now and hit him with the force of a hurricane just when he thought of them lost forever, and did a bad dog.

 

"Leave me alone, go away !!!" Dean said holding his stomach, the girl seemed a bit 'puzzled but he had no intention of leaving, when approached, Surprise! what dean at first he identified as a mirage.

  
"Keep girl, this is to have your seat," said the love of his life to the disgusting demon, that agguantati money, forgot Dean Winchester and perhaps even those who had to leave the field open.

  
Dean looked at him to make sure it was not a hallucination, and at that point the love of his life moved her chair to sit beside him.  
"Hello Dean," Sam said.  
"Sam."

  
Dean wanted to be serious, he wanted to be formal, but the tone that he thought he heard warned him as poignant, relieved, like a pathetic lover who had reviewed countless centuries after his great love, surrounded by a stupid smile on his face.  
Sam kept his value without saying anything, and Dean did not resist more, came suddenly, and pulled him gently pushing his face and kissed him gently. Sam that at first stood motionless, passive, Dean of the gesture to kiss him, returned, the expression a little frustrated, a little '-sembrava - sad.

  
When Dean took his lips from him, however, remained a few inches from her face, leaving caressing her cheeks with his thumbs: "thank you for being here," he said Dean.sembrava almost moved, saw Sam  
"Who was the first bitch?" Sam asked trying to sound indifferent.

 

"One that I met during my six months almost hell, you probably think that just because we have been in bed sometimes, want another round, if you understand what I mean"  
   
"And you want it?" Sam asked question.  
   
Dean was surprised at the question of Sam. She did not trust him, perhaps? It was jealous? Dean hoped for a kind of vacuous complacency. Dean wanted to tell him that he had his eyes, had her sweetness, and who did not have his body, it was not Sam, period. And it was not with any goddamn whore when it happened what had happened between them. But he did not.  
   
"Sam, I do not have relations with that being for months, and I do not want them in the future either, of this I am sure," he said instead.  
   
Sam seemed to fit that answer.  
   
"How did you find me anyway?" Dean asked taking another bit 'of his whiskey.  
   
"Can you still to get drunk? So it is not like drinking a medicine for you now? "  
   
Suddenly Dean tried another big shock in the stomach, but this time was so violent as to force him to his knees, and his head felt to burst.  
   
Sam did nothing to support it  
   
"How did you find me, Sam?" He managed to say Dean-among a dense and the other - it felt too much pain to wonder why Sam was so cold.  
   
 "The GPS hidden in your car .. but I do not think you feel very well, did you drink too much?" Said Sam indifferent, not doing anything to help him.

 

"I cursed memories are those that make me sick ... you said something like that in the past" ....  
   
"Really?" He asked Sam always said casually drinking a drop of what was left of the whiskey Dean.  
   
"Sam, please help me, I'm sick" she begged, what once was his brother.  
   
And Sam put his glass, and got up from damn chair, watched him writhing on the ground, looked around, everyone saw him, no one helped him, demons bastards.  
   
"You know that this bar is infested with demons, right?"  
   
"Sam"  
   
"But I suppose that you attended to this, that you feel comfortable in the company of your SIMILAR" said Sam cruel.  
   
"SAM"  
   
"But I'm wrong or none of these motherfuckers is helping you now?" Continued Sam relentless  
   
Dean said nothing, beginning to realize that there was something wrong with Sam.  
   
"Why are you so cruel?" Said Dean still down.  
   
Sam leaned close to him and took his face in his hands, "what I can do to you, it is NOTHING compared to what you do to yourself," he said solemnly looking into his eyes.  
   
And Dean thought I heard something similar in the past. was perhaps Meg? He saw white for a moment to the intensity of that memory. Dean still did not know what to say, did not understand the strange behavior of Sam but get his hands on her face was giving a bit 'of relief, the pain seemed to fade now, little by little ... ..and was it a hallucination or Now it seemed that Sam was watching him with a poignant look of love? Or maybe it was he who wanted it and then saw things fake?  
   
Sam noticed the lift of Dean and gave him a tender kiss on the cheek with his mouth lingering on it for a few seconds. Dean sighed. Then Sam hugged him, took him by the shoulders and lifted him up and made him lean on him: "Come with me, brother," she said in a tone loving and a bit 'sad, and Dean confused by these versions of Sam so different, let it off the shabby bar

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes, I know, Sam is strange ... and see that Dean droops and suffers so, does destroy even me writing ç_ç
> 
> sorry for the very short but the next chapter will be a little longer XD
> 
> however ... at witnessing the standpoint of Dean..i his thoughts on Sam, and then intermittently even the thoughts of Sam Dean, "begged, what once was his brother."


	9. You are mine, only mine?

Dean had woken up with a headache. As soon as he opened his eyes he saw Sam staring at him nearby, looked puzzled, but really did not care. puzzled or not the important thing is that there was, and that he would not have gone  
"Sam," he called.  
"I'm here," Sam said, and really could not tell, Dean, Sam if he was referring to his presence in the room, or he meant that there was for him. Dean hoped both.  
"Come here," Dean said, hoping that Sam not refuse, and he came over.  
Looked like a robot without feelings, Dean mused, but he knew how to awaken.  
"Give me a kiss," Dean said. Sam glared at him, or at least so it seemed to Dean, but he would not notice, did not care, nothing mattered except the fact that he was there.

 

"Sam, give me a kiss," he said, halfway between the menacing, halfway between the Restless ... Dean was beginning to appear in fear. And if Sam had changed his mind? If you do not love him anymore? He could not bear this idea.  
   
But Sam walked timidly, slowly, as they use the mothers to kiss their children before bed, goodnight kiss. Sam put her lips to Dean and began to kiss him very slowly, in a whisper, but without going into the kiss, and without real passion. Although Dean recognized in that kiss what appeared to be suffering - he, then Sam she still loved him! - Along with something else that he could not identify, and that only later she would be realized FRUSTRATION.  
   
But Dean did not want this, he wanted passion, frenzy wanted, wanted Sam kissed him desperately and did understand that she loved him, that nothing had changed, and then moved him to touch his face with his hands, trying to kiss him more bottom, in a gesture that, in retrospect later would call desperate.  
   
But Sam just saw that Dean tried to hang on to him looking for a kiss heard, she struggled hastily, and turned to leave. Dean was really shocked and mortally wounded, and he seemed to be losing his head, shouted:  
   
 "Why do not you love me anymore, Sam? "Aware of feeling like a pathetic rejected lover in the throes of a nervous breakdown.  
   
And then Sam froze, turning slowly.  
   
"I never said I love you," said Sam cruel, despising himself.

 

 

Dean at that time felt like a crash indefinite inside him. Something was broken, but it certainly could not have her heart, because demons do not have a heart, right? So what was it? The spleen, liver, kidney, lung? And above all, how could he still be alive? He felt that he was dead at that time, but for some mysterious reason, and especially cruel, still breathing, and all this was not right!

  
When you feel able to recall the words, said: "You made me believe you love me," he said, accusingly.  
"I'm not the only one who behaved like this, I would say."

  
Dean stood for a moment in astonishment, without answering.

  
"You've never said you loved me, you also have to believe me," insisted Sam  
"so it is? "Said Sam harder.  
"NO" yelled Dean.

  
"No what? No, you never said you loved me, or not, I do not believe you've ever done? "Sam insisted relentless  
Dean: "Sam, I ..." Dean said, leaving the sentence hanging.

  
Sam: "No, Dean. Now TELL. "  
Dean said nothing.  
"TELL" Sam shouted, her face a mask of anger.

 

"I LOVE YOU" Dean yelled desperately, and at that moment Sam remembered the old Dean. sad, breathless, confused, desperate, with tears in his eyes, hurt again by the monster it was his brother.  
   
Dean looked at Sam's reaction, and for a moment he seemed to see his old Sam ... ... ..Sammy. her adored brother, confused, sad, confused, and sweet in its tenderness.  
   
But here rispuntava out the monster: "You lie ...."  
   
"No, Sam, is ver ...."  
   
"LIAR" he shouted again.  
   
Dean was silent, wounded as never before.  
   
"I am your brother, how can you love me? You're just a liar. It is not enough that it is wrong. it's not even true. "He said, calmer this time the monster.  
   
Dean was starting to cry and Sam would have given anything to take that bottle of whiskey abandoned on the table, and split it with broken glass extricate their eyes to avoid having to see.  
   
_I'm a monster_  
   
"Demons are monsters, and as such can not love nor be loved by anyone," he said instead.

_Forgive me, Dean_

 

Sam came out rushed out. Dean remained blocked them without answering. Someone had stuck a rostrum in his heart and turned, looking for the point where producing more pain  
   
   
   
How could she do this to him, Sammy, his beloved Sammy, still could not believe it. It was so sweet, tender and romantic when they were together, he was so changed? Because he had stopped loving him? But it had never really begun? Now he did not know more. What could have changed it to that point? Maybe he was wrong to leave? If he could go back, he would give everything to erase that gesture, although he still love Sam.  
   
   
"Dean," Sam called him from the garden. No longer seemed sullen with him, which confused him even more, and no longer had any importance all the bad words that had hurt so much, now only he cared that Sam was calling him, cared about this, and he would forgiven. To be a demon, not being able to love more and also to love only him.

 

 

Went outside in the garden. It was late evening now. A garden? Wait, where was he? Not recognize this place ... it certainly was not was the motel, and even the bunker of the literati. Where had he brought that crazy?  
   
"Sam, where the hell did you bring me?" She asked, and you feel sink with the shoe in a hole in the middle of the large amount of snow ... and less of screamed. Sam against his will, despite everything, he had to hold back a chuckle and immediately came to the rescue before he could fall ... ordered him to support him, and Dean was taken aback by this unexpected yet another change in behavior, mood, everything. Now Sammy was again attentive and smiling in that way so sweet, and Dean realized he was back to thinking of him as Sammy, and against his will feel a surge of tenderness, this time not for Sam, but for himself.  
   
Dean looked up and saw that Sam was looking at him in turn with an air that seemed sad and guilty, then Sam pushed him away gently and took a few steps away from him, and this confused him even more  
   
   
"Dean," Sam finally spoke again "if you really love me, how do you explain it? I mean, the demons can not love, and you yourself have said that you're losing all your feelings, all you tied to your humanity "  
   
Back to talk about his feelings, he was really a pain for Dean, especially when Sam was obvious now that he did not feel the same, but she took courage and said:  
   
"I, I, I do not know why but with you it's different Sam, I can stop feeling love and everything else, but I can not stop loving you," Dean said ashamed as a thief to express his feelings like ' last of the little girls in a horrible movie tearjerker ... but could not help it, Sam had asked him and he had to answer, hoping he could forgive him for this. Already he expected that Sam was laughing. But he did not. Indeed he is looking at him very seriously, and he thought he heard almost a sigh. Was it relief what had seemed to feel?

 

Sam said nothing, looked different from Sam who just before had attacked like that in the room ... and yet he had no idea why he brought you here, and was beginning to get seriously worried.  
   
Sam leaned over to get something from the car. It was a bundle covered with colored paper. He handed it to Dean tenderly, leaving him completely thrilled.  
   
"You're not afraid of a gift bag, right? Open it, "Sam urged him, and went away again to fumble against something that was standing on an old table near the chalet  
   
   
Amazement. Disbelief. Misunderstanding. Emotion. And then finally, emotion and joy, and gratitude. These were all the emotions that were passed on the face of Dean Winchester, when he realized that the parcel contained the pendant that Sam had given him, and that so much had foolishly thought of throwing away centuries ago.  
   
"Sam," Dean said. he could hardly speak, so was the effort to hold back tears.  
   
"Yes?" Sam said, without turning around. He had a strange voice, and Dean did not think to turn around so as not to see that he was crying. He began to walk to walk shipped to him, and hugged him. Strong. And Sam reciprocated, holding him just as he wanted Dean did in the cursed room.  
   
"How can you have it yet?" Dean asked, his voice breaking  
"I always kept with me that you threw in the trash, but I never wanted to tell you. Maybe I had it a little 'to you for that. I always thought that one day, however, I would have given back, but as we were taken by continuous battles, I never ... "  
   
"Sam," Dean interrupted.

 

"Yes?"  
   
"Sam, it's great and really thanks for having preserved, and I promise not to take it off again, never again."  
   
Sam smiled tenderly and put him in the neck, and Dean sighed. It seemed as if Sam had given back a bit 'of life.  
   
"Where are you going?" He tried to bring it back to him when he saw that Sam started away again.  
   
"Hold on two minutes," he said jokingly Sam, then fiddled with what must have been an old stereo, and began play. Immediately the notes of Hey Jude by the Beatles began to make his way in silence. Dean had looked frightened, as if he could not believe it.  
   
"I can not believe you're doing this," Dean whined like a wounded dog, and his knees sinking into the snow. It was so cool.  
   
"You do not remember, do you?"  
   
"That was the song we always sang mom to let us sleep? Yes, "she said Dean sad  
   
"No, Dean, did not mean that," Dean said as he looked back in his direction.  
   
"When you were old enough to do so, you began to sing it to me," Sam said with a great effort to hide the emotion  
   
"God, Sam, no ... .."

 

" Sing for me, and I rocked me to sleep," she said Sam was crying just now. Dean saw him cry. He was crying because of him. He was right to say that it was a monster. It really was.

  
"Sam, I ... do not remember it," said Dean mortified.

  
"Never mind," Sam said, wiping her tears and approaching his brother. "I just want to dance with me."

  
"Sam, no"

  
"Dean, please, you can do it, do it for me," she begged Sam, and Dean gave.

  
So the tune of Hey Jude, Sam Dean embraced tenderly, delicate as a silk ribbon, tender as a child, with her head resting on his neck, while Dean felt a sense of love so strong that it hurt, but he did not want Sam let him, so he continued to hold him in her arms as they danced embraced, and continuing to stroke his back and the back plane. After a few seconds with vibrant joy you find yourself saying: "Sam"

  
"Yes?" Asked Sam completely abandoned in the embrace of Dean.

  
"I seem to remember ..."

  
"Are you serious?" Sam asked, his heart was doing bum bum bum.

  
"Yeah ..." Dean said. "I remember that I sang Hey Jude, and ... oh as you were tender with the striped pajamas, I seemed to hold her a wad of soft blue cotton," Dean said in ecstasy.

 

Sam could no longer control his emotions that prorompevano and shook him from within. He grabbed my face and kissed him Dean. Romantically, passionately, desperately. When pulled away from his mouth, however, still he had his hands on her face and making sure to look at him, said:  
   
"I love you" whispered to him soon, but Dean felt explode with joy, and not doing even more harm in that time, or maybe if it hurt, he was given the grace to not hear it. Sam did not ask why only a few minutes he had said the opposite, because he was too happy with what he had just heard to demand an explanation.  
   
"Me too, Sam, too," she replied.  
   
   
They danced for a while ', and when the song ends, Sam wanted to return it, because he said, had not listened to, because they are too busy to say the sdolcinerie each other. Dean laughed and said something like: "You're a girl, Sam" and Sam as never before was glad to hear these words from Dean, his brother, Dean had always been.  
   
They began the slow dance, but after a few seconds of the song that had begun, Sam said softly embraced Dean: "Dean,i want you" him whispered softly rubbing his head against her neck.  
   
Dean felt as romantic, and sentimental, and deep, in that situation, when Sam told him that sentence, you feel a deep contraction in the groin.

 

"Sam, no, you know I can not," he tried to sound reasonable voice.  
   
Sam laughed softly. "Dean, you're not really a demon, not at all, and even if I were not you do me no harm"  
   
"How can you be sure?" He asked, stroking his hair.  
   
"I have documented"  
   
"Thing? You little angel fake and real perverted and perverse that you are nothing "good-naturedly chided Dean, without inquiring where it was actually documented  
   
Sam laughed and pushed him so that dean went to sink lying in one piece on the snow, but it was not bad .. indeed, it was pleasant. Her skin ... she realized now, was burning, feverish.  
   
"Do not you had not noticed it?" Asked Sam sad, seeing the surprised look of Dean.  
   
Dean looked at him. Probably he had been feverish all the time and noticed it just now, and that was another proof of how gradually was losing the knowledge, became sad and was about to ask for forgiveness from Sam, when that jumped astride with power of a tornado.  
   
She was made. Now how much he wanted to go back, he would never get. Not with Sam, who continued to laugh like that. He would do anything to see him laugh more. It also spread to him.

 

"I thought that after all we are laughing at all, and it is something that often happens to LOVERS. "Sam said, and despite Dean no longer believed in things like falling in love and various bales, said Sam had the power to make him come out of the smile.  
   
Sam began to buckle more and kissing sensually Dean's neck and whisper: "Take"  
   
And Dean really at that time did not understand anything, especially could not stand up to see Sam so excited, and began to kiss him, to touch him. Before the face, then the shoulders, back, chest, which took off his shirt and then began to stroke her legs through the pants smiling mischievously feeling Sam hold your breath. Then slowly raised his pants, continued to stroke and turn him, then also remove the boxer finally, and Dean was pleased that the shame of what they were to do, at least on his part was driven out, or did not know whether, despite desiring Sam, he would have dared to do this to his brother. It'd be damned he had no importance, but also because Sam?  
   
Sam still not allowed him to delve into these thoughts, urging him to continue, and then Dean started kissing, from the mouth to get off your chest now bare, and going deeper and deeper. And further down. And hear Sam moan for him was something so fulfilling.  
   
"God, Dean," he said pulling the hair.  
"Stop, please," said Sam reluctantly because he was going so well and was so rewarding that the last thing Sam wanted to tell him was to stop, rather he wanted to hear the clutch in forever, and in fact Dean as if he had guessed his thoughts, he did not stop.

 

"Dean stopped, I will not come now," Sam insisted shouting and Dean then stopped. They looked, still in disbelief of what they were doing and what they were going to do, but unable to stop.  
   
"Lie down," said Sam, and Dean heads immediately. He began lying face down, perhaps secretly glad not to be the one to have to, in order not to hurt his little brother, Sam thought mischievous.  
   
Sam tried to prepare it gently, and this time Dean felt his love in his movements, gestures of kindness, but later came more and more clumsy and indecisive and suppressed a groan.  
   
"Sorry," she said Sam intimidated. He did not want to hurt him, but it was his first time with a man. And even for Dean. Maybe he should bring the lubricant is said.  
   
"Do not apologize, go ahead," Dean chuckled.  
   
Sam was still undecided, but now they were both too excited to go back. He stopped trying to tinker with his hands and following the instinct tried to get inside Dean. gently at first then more deeply, and Dean suppressed a groan of pain, replaced immediately with one of pleasure.  
   
"God, Dean, I did not think .."  
"I did not think what?"  
"As I could feel so good inside of you," said Sam resting her head on his back, and Dean seemed the sweetest declaration of love that could make him.  
   
It was all natural, boosts first lens, then more assertive, more passionate, and Dean knew that Sam was not joking when he said that he wished, and he was glad, but the best was that Sam was always trying to Dean's mouth, hungry kisses and stroking also at that time. He did not stop to pet it, to shake his hand and Dean did the same. And despite all this honey, they were both close to ecstasy.  
   
"Tell me you love me" always said Dean.

 

"I love you. I love you. I love you "repeated relentless Sam as if to serve those terrible minutes in which he said the bloody room that was not true.  
   
"And you tell me I'm yours, yours alone," Sam said in a fit of sudden melensaggine

"I am yours and you are mine, mine alone?"  
"Always," she replied.  
   
When was the climax left them stunned for a moment, so the pleasure was intense. Sam came out of Dean and lay down beside him and asked him to hug him, and Dean did so immediately. They watched the stars and Sam told him that indeed he had always dreamed of making love under the stars, and Dean replied that they still had a lot to do experiments.  
   
Sam looked at him giving him a wonderful smile.  
   
"What's up? You got thought the concept "mine, mine alone" was worth just for tonight? We try not to think about it, and I'll spit out all his teeth, you understand, kind of ugly ....? "The giggling threatened, Dean  
   
Sam interrupted him: "stupid, you still have not figured that since I was born I was chained to you?" She said softly, and Dean lost the words. Yes, really he lost.

 

As though it was beautiful and romantic, fresh and above all, after all that passion, remain lying down in the snow, after a while 'but became uncomfortable and cold. Dean insisted that were covered for the night, despite the protests of Sam, who seemed about to fall asleep them. Dean did not want you to take a sickness.  
   
Returned, they made a quick shower, and sat in the bed still embraced and exhausted.  
   
"Sam, who is this chalet? Why did you bring me here? "Asked Dean tenderly.  
   
"The hosts will not be back until next fall, peaceful Dean, and in any case I brought you here because it seemed like a good idea," said Sam hoping that Dean did not ask him more, and he did not.  
   
"It was a GREAT idea," she said giving him a peck on the hair.  
   
Sam tightened even more in the chest Dean. Dean looked at him. It looked like a helpless puppy at that time, he wanted to protect him forever, and old protective instincts threatened to attack him again, but this time they were beautiful.  
   
"It still looks all so unreal," she said Sam thoughtfully tracciandogli the contours of the chest with a finger. Gently, as if to study it. Or to caress him, Dean did not understand it.  
   
"Do you regret what happened?" Dean asked, tenderly stroking his hair, not accusingly, anger or agitation,

 

"Never," said Sam, kissing him on the chest, and then riappoggiando her head on his chest. "But I'm afraid. We have spent many, but we've never faced anything like this. I'm afraid of what will happen to us "  
   
"Fear the judgment of the people?" Asked Dean  
   
"Yes," replied Sam sincere. "I do not want to lose you," Sam said, to make him understand that although it appeared a selfish fear, in the end everything always brought her to that point.  
   
Dean pulled him even more to try to reassure him: "Sam, you will never lose me, not for something so beautiful, in fact I'm even more attached to you after tonight, and if we ever divide us will NEVER be my fault , believe me. It still will not happen because I will not allow, "he added.  
   
"Now I think so ..." said Sam  
   
"thing? Do you think I could change your mind? "Dean asked surprised.  
   
Sam could not take it to not ask. "Dean, I would never have to ask you a thing, but I have to do if you were human, would you still with you in this way?"  
   
"Do you think that my love for you is dictated by the fact of being a half-demon?" She said Dean and Sam realized in a hurry to have it almost hurt to death and apologized immediately  
   
"Dean, no, I did not mean this, do not get me wrong, I just wanted to say that being free from the guilt is easier for you to let go and be happy with me. Maybe if I were human, even if it means suffering, I would like with you, because you judge what we do, immoral, wrong, inhumane "

 

 

Dean was silent and leaders very well what he meant Sam. Only he did not want to think about it. They were so well, why spoil that beautiful moment?  
   
"Sam, I do not know anything, and frankly I do not want to think about it, I beg you, we are so good, do not spoil everything with these concerns"  
   
"Dean, I do not want to spoil it, but we have to start thinking about it, and I do not want any nasty surprises, not because I do not trust you, but because I'm too afraid," said Sam vaguely troubled.  
   
   
Dean sensed the fear of Sam, and gave him another long kiss on the forehead, and hugged him again entangled him.  
   
   
"Sam, do not be afraid, I will not turn away and I will never more from you, never, whatever the cost"  
   
And Sam was so glad to hear of reassurance on that point, he did not bother to Dean really what he meant with that "whatever the cost"  
   
   
He was really convinced that what happened that night, had the sweet and bitter of a mirage  
   
He was really convinced that his love was enough to give Dean his humanity, his total humanity  
   
Yet Crowley had told her that there would still be enough. It was very, very much. More than you could imagine. It's just not enough yet. But he was stubborn, did not want to believe it! He hoped that, enough!  
   
Only when he received a cold shower in the morning, leaders have completely wrong.  
   
Only then realized that he was a fool.

 


	10. Choose

Sam would have to guess that this was a cursed day, already the first signs of revival of the fucking morning, but chose to ignore the first warning bells.  
   
"Sam, wake up, come on, we have to go to breakfast," said Dean, and Sam moaned. He still had much sleep.  
   
"I will not," he said choking back her head on the pillow. Dean came up and threw it away.  
   
"You are cruel" moaned Sam.

"And you have not seen anything yet, brother," said Dean, and Sam, had it not been for the collegiate tone you hear his voice, he would really say that an answer like that, in their situation, was out of place, but since he had started, by telling a joke, he could not even blame him for something. Reproach him what then?  
   
Dean trying to drive up Sam, had leaned on him and Sam was flooded with a quantity of perfume and deodorant, which, judged excessive.  
   
"Dean! but what perfume are you wearing? What's gotten into you? You're a girl? "She asked, wrinkling her nose.

Dean laughed: "Perfumes are aphrodisiacs, seductive, and I want to keep my reputation as a sex symbol," said Dean, and Sam seemed to sense something wrong in what he was saying, as if it was something fake, as a joke called by an actor in a theater, only that at the time was too stunned to figure out why.  
   
"Do not you need it, you are a seductive of yours, and I'm glad to hear your natural smell," said Sam, trying in vain to hear him through the blanket that was sprinkled on him.  
   
Dean waved a nervous laugh: "Well, if it bothers you, do not put more" consent.  
   
Sam felt a growing nervousness that he did not know how to explain and d 'instinctively reached out to give him a kiss. Dean just gasped and stood like a bundle of nerves.  
   
Sam moved almost immediately. "Dean! but what ... what is this taste you have in your mouth? You have not been drinking whiskey before morning, right? "He asked, refraining from repressing disgust.

 

Dean became a mask of terror, but he tried to recover immediately, and said: "I did not drink, and if you want to insinuate that I have a bad breath, I inform you that my mouth always smells of roses, little brother," he said. He looked very offended, Sam immediately feel guilty, and if it were not for the tone once again pretended, from theater actor, who had seemed to hear, you would really apologized for that, she would really apologized.  
   
"Roses are not good to eat," he said instead somewhere between sarcastic somewhere between a cheerful tone.  
   
Dean looked at him, obviously mortally offended, but said nothing. He locked himself in the bathroom with the power of a hurricane, and began to brush your teeth, use mouthwash too, and even took a breath mint. Sam noticed all these movements and you feel confused and disoriented than ever ... "but what the hell is going on?" He thought to himself

 

 

 

To every extent once the hour of breakfast, those brief minutes of nervousness seemed to set aside, and Dean seemed to return the good mood. Sam noticed that the bar was a generous chocolate cake and raspberries and he smiled ... Dean certainly just would see would slingshots to get her.

  
But he did not. Passed just next door and not even look at, just simply take a cappuccino and a croissant.

  
It was not like Sam and Dean reject the cake following the impulse, made to order for a piece anyway.  
When he returned to the table, Dean said with a smile:  
"Not like you eat cakes, Sam"

  
"Actually, that's for you, Dean," Sam said bewildered.  
"For me?" Dean asked with uncertain tone and a bit 'confused.

  
Sam looked at him a bit 'scared, then pushed the saucer. Seeing that Dean did nothing, he tried to encourage him: "Do not eat it?"  
Dean seemed annoyed. "If I wanted the cake, I would have taken"

  
"Sorry, I thought you a favor ... ..but, why do not you want? You never refused the cake before, "Sam said with caution.  
"Damn, Sam, I really have to explain because for once I do not want a damn pie damned nine twenty-five fucking morning ???" asked Dean, altering, and making turn several people.  
"Dean, calm down, they are looking at."

"Do not tell me what to do! You who must always see the rot around even in normal things! "The actor continued undaunted.  
   
Sam was silent, not knowing what to say or do. It was not as he had imagined that day. It was not that he had to go.  
   
Dean anyway not raged. Fine to eat her croissant and drinking his cappuccino and then declare, "This sucks cappuccino, we will not be here anymore. You pay, you wait in the car "

  To force sucks, if you do not put sugar ....... Sam wanted to say, but a sense of nausea was oppressing him and not make it even to speak. She asked the maid something to cover the cake, because he intended to take her away. Now he had not then so hungry, he said.

 

 

Not returned to the motel ... the official excuse was that Sam wanted to stay out in the open air, in the mountains, but the truth was that he wanted to earn a bit 'of time to try to soothe Dean, to prepare it to what they should do, andIt was not up to try to convince him in that state of nervousness. Dean looked vaguely calm down, feeling that Sam wanted to carve a day out just for the two of them, then you bought the sandwiches and the need for a small picnic they would do later, parked and began walking up the wood

 

 

 

 

The mountain air seemed to invigorate Dean, who returned to be happy and frolicking in the woods as a child, and to indicate to both sides of a flower, or a fungus, asking Sam if he thought they could be good or poisonous.

  
"Stop being so excited ... but what have you, five years? "Asked Sam amused.

  
"Look at this, Sam, blackberries, you want some? For your liking a girl are certainly well "continued Dean paying no attention.

  
Sam gave him a slap on the head and Dean asked him if he wanted the war, after which he made for caricarselo in arm together with the bag with things to eat, trying to climb the mountain with Sam leaned on his chest, with him trying to break free: "You're crazy, put me down or you'll kill us both," she said, laughing but with a note of apprehension very strong.

  
"Good, to kennel" said Dean, giving him a slap on the ass, and not pointing to a stop. She walked with Sam in his arms and Sam really did not understand how Dean could carry quantifying that surely he was taller and much bigger than Dean, and, moreover, uphill, stuff that anyone else would capottato with the weight he carried below, and no Dean instead, proceeded safely with fast pace, without a shadow of insecurity, fear, or even fatigue, indeed seemed full of energy, and after a while 'Sam seemed to be back to a small child who was brought walking, and despite the apprehension that the thing transmitted it, feeling safe began to relax and then fall asleep in the arms of Dean.

 

 

 

 

 

"Wake up beautiful asleep,  we arrived, "Dean said after a while 'waking Sam.

  
They were in a large green expanse beautiful, and it was all lit up by the sun, surrounded by trees and beautiful flowers. Sam Dean had made to lie on the grass and was joined close to him, and Sam was able at that time to almost forget that disastrous morning.

  
They stayed for a while 'lying in the sun with Dean who had returned strangely affectionate and in the mood for pampering, filling Sam kisses and caresses  
"I'm sorry about this morning, and for being an asshole," Dean said between kisses and the other  
"Is water under the bridge," said Sam, even though he knew it was not the past.

  
"And I'm sorry for all the times that I will be an asshole in the future."

  
"Forget it," replied Sam, smiling, continuing to kiss and making them laugh Dean. asleep beautiful.

 

"How about something to eat? That long climb put me appetite "said Dean beginning to unwrap a sandwich and make long bites. In fact it was almost noon.  
   
"Yeah, the way you have been incredibly strong, you were able to continue taking her up even me; by the way, how do you explain it? "He asked Sam just could not get over it.  
   
Dean seemed to take umbrage. "I can not explain, simply, I'm just happy to be full of energy," he said continuing to eat his sandwich.  
   
Sam finished his sandwich he wanted to continue the discussion on the strength of Dean, but he was so because he had just cut a peach wedges, and began to feed him, and Sam let him.

"Hey, do you think, a child?" asked Sam, chuckling. Dean finished feeding him, kissed him, taking his face in his hands sticky and also making it sticky cheeks. He looked back so thoughtful and sweet, that Sam was dissolved by tenderness for a moment. He would have given anything to be able to stop time and live forever so.  
   
"Sometimes you're" Dean chuckled.  
   
Sam was a sudden idea.  
   
"You know, I thought about bringing the cake this morning, maybe now you feel like it," said cautelamente  
   
Dean seemed  foreign, and then irritated, and then take umbrage.

"Or I can eat it," said Sam too cheerful, and he became well aware that Dean knew what he was trying to do, only that now Sam had entered he reads in the popular theater and had no intention of selling, or give it won.  
   
"I do not know what you're trying to do ..." began Dean irritated ...  
   
"Mmmmm good that this cake, you do not know what you're missing," said Sam provocative  
   
Dean seemed irritated even more, and Sam immediately heads to be a fool, and he was playing the wrong card. He decided to try the one that seemed most effective, then gently touched her face with her hands, and Dean though perplexed, because Sam had his hands dirty with cake, did not budge.  
   
"I love you so much, Dean," he said in soft tone, and Dean surprised by that statement so early, relaxed for a moment the facial muscles become tense irritation, and Sam took the opportunity to kiss him. Dean kissed seemingly indifferent to the mouth of Sam knew that the whole cake. Sam did not give up, took a little 'of cake, if rubbed on the face and lips and kissed him again.  
   
"What are you doing?" Dean asked, but seemed amused, and Sam seemed a good sign.  
   
"I want you to share with me," she said Sam amused, teasing, taking another piece of cake, taking one end in his mouth and forcing Dean to come closer to swallow the other. He did not resist, and at that time looked like a grotesque caricature of Lady and the Tramp, Sam thought amused.  
Dean at the beginning did as he asked Sam just because he asked her, but then Sam saw the change in his expression .. began to smile and eat cake from the mouth of Sam, murmuring sigh with pleasure, kissing him and plus shipping and hungry , so it seemed, Sam and sugar.

He was surprised when Dean was then to take what was left of the cake and make the gesture of volersela eat him whole. Sam's eyes widened and he was immediately on him shouting:  
"Selfish"  
Dean chuckled in amusement as Sam was on him claiming his share, and that is how they ended the last part, kissing and smearing cake like two children. In the end they had faces full of sugar and icing, but nothing was gratifying to see how Dean laughed again and said: "It was good that pie, you were right, Sam" and seemed sincere.  
   
Eventually they cleared the face in the pond nearby, and Sam felt happy as ever and really thought that the worst was over and that from now on things would be the right way.  
   
He did not know that the worst was yet to come.

 

 

 

When they decided to leave this charming place, Sam already had in mind what he should do once arrived at the motel, and really hoped that Dean would accept, so it seemed important that maintained good humor, like now.  
   
But unfortunately fate has other plans ever, and at that moment a child who was passing by them, lost his balance and fell. He had to have a maximum of five years.  
   
She began to cry, and to call for help. Luckily he had fallen uphill, but in a flat part, otherwise would have slipped and God only knows what would happen. Sam held his breath, but nothing was shocking to see how Dean look puzzled the child as if he were watching a strange species of bird, and not see him rush to help him.  
   
immediately he rushed the child and picked him up. At that moment came the parents who had remained behind, panting, with her son a little older who had to have maybe three or four years older toddler. He was scared and picked up the little crying like crazy. It looked like so much of the caricatures of the two of them only a few hours earlier, while Dean was carrying in his arms Sam, Sam, despite the tenderness of that gesture, wanted to run at breakneck speed away and not look back.

instead he stood and arranged to reassure parents and to recommend them to be more careful the next time small. Those were dangerous places. While Dean was still standing on the sidelines watching them casually.

 

 

 

When parents with children in tow walked away, Sam went back to Dean with an air of angry beast.  
   
"So how's the kid? The past is the desire to go to the mountains? "He asked, laughing.  
   
It was the final blow. Sam punched him so hard that, despite Dean was full of energy, that's when he turned his face to the side.  
   
   
"You know what you're getting, huh? You know what is the next step huh? "  
   
"No, enlighten you, Sammy!" Dean managed to say.  
 "KILL PEOPLE. Give me a call to warn me when you will want to do it. "  
   
"I'll let you vent just because you're my brother and you do not know what you say."  
   
"But you are no longer my brother," replied Sam.  
   
 A fist came straight to Sam's jaw hit with the force of a hurricane, and Sam really feeling helpless and powerless, for knees staring at the ground and touching her head with her hands.  
   
Dean immediately feel sorry, "Sam, forgive me."  
   
"I can not," Sam said in a sad voice to the ground.  
   
Dean nodded, trying to fight back the tears, and together they walked the short distance that separated them from the car yet.

 

 

 

 

Once out of the woods, the tension seemed not yet abated. Dean began again to become nervous.  
   
"But where have the car keys?" He asked.  
   
"All those scents ... the morning I felt strange taste in your mouth, it was the taste of DEMONS right?"  
   
"Yet I was convinced essermele put in your pocket. "  
   
"Your not want the cake, not be aware of cappuccino bitter, not to help that child ... .they were all signals ..."  
   
"WHERE THE HELL ARE FINISHED?" Asked Dean, trying to counter the voice of Sam.  
   
A familiar jingle and Dean saw that Sam was shaking them to him right in front.  
   
"Give me your car keys, Sam"  
   
"Otherwise?"  
   
"Sam, give me your car keys," he repeated irritably  
   
"I give me another punch?"  
   
"SAM, GIVE ME THE KEYS fucking"  
   
"Or you kill me?"  
   
Dean began to cry softly, and Sam felt ashamed a little. He wanted to apologize, but instead he said with tears in his eyes:  
   
"Dean, I need to know if you killed someone in this week"  
   
"Damn it, Sam! I did not kill anyone. "  
   
"Then why ....?" Sam asked desperately.  
   
Dean gave a punch to the car, frustrated.  
   
"I TOLD YOU THAT I COULD NOT CHECK IT," he said desperately, knelt. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" and continued to cry. Sam knew that if he gave way now, and embraced him, it was a big mess.  
   
   
"Dean, we will arrange everything, you will see, you will return as you were, really, you just have to trust me," said Sam.  
   
Dean got up. "No "  
   
"As?"

"ARE YOU DEAF? I SAID NO"  
   
Sam said nothing.  
   
"I will not become human again," Dean said unstressed, breaking Sam's heart into a million pieces.  
   
"You can not be serious, you fight a lot of time against this thing, and now you want to give up?"  
   
"Have you ever considered the idea that I do not want? Huh? "  
   
"What are you saying? It's crazy, and you know it "  
   
"It is not. Sam, I'm fine now. I feel full of energy, I do not remember those things that sent me angry, that made me feel desperate, that made me feel confused, which made me feel guilty "  
   
"Dean, I can not believe that ...."  
   
"What will become of our love when I come back human huh? Why do you want to break so our dream? "  
   
"What are you saying?"  
   
"Damn Sam, I do not want to risk sending everything to hell when my goddamn regain my humanity, I can not bear to be the one that I decide to finish everything"  
   
   
Sam looked at him aghast.

 

"Then what I was talking about the other night ..." I was clear, Dean had reflected on the fears of Sam, and had made her, and Sam cursed again his stupidity.  
"Yes, I thought about it too, and I thought you might be right, I do not know if I can be strong enough, and do not want to risk losing you"

  
"Dean, I can not believe you really think that leaving it becomes a demon is the solution to stay together. You're completely crazy if you think I will be able to continue to be with you if you become a demon! "

  
"Then follow me, if you love me, follow me and become like me."

  
"Dean, it's crazy! You've spent my whole life to fight these beings and the fact that now would become one of them is proof of your insanity, not you realize ?? "he shouted Sam.  
"The proof is that I love you and I want to be with you, and if you love me, you should accept" insisted Dean.

  
Sam was speechless.

  
Dean looked at him with tears in his eyes: "Now you have to choose, Sam, you can freely choose whether or not to follow me, and I do not force you, but you must do it now, and I implore you to think about it."

  
Sam looked at him. I was really putting in front of a junction. For some time she hated him to death, and judged him a deep selfish, and was almost tempted to tell him to leave, and was compelled to be self violence to convince him not to take with Dean, because he was not really Dean, and Sam thought He deserved another punch to Dean, indeed deserved to be massacred punches, though now he had abandoned this tragic fate.

  
She looked at him and a new terror was printed in the face. I knew instantly that Dean would never digested a refusal to Sam, and was instantly afraid of what he might do to himself if he had said no. From his desperate face he might even take his own life.

 

"I did everything to save you," Sam said, choking back tears.

  
"I know," said Dean, "but we can be damned together. Think Sam, no more damned guilt, no more pain, thoughts that they send you angry, that I suffer ... and we will be together "

  
Sam knew that the escape from the pain was just an illusion.

  
He knew he could not have been more loving Dean if he had become what he had become.

  
And Dean would stop loving him because he stopped being the Sam that he loved, to become a monster.  
They would come to hate each other because of this, even if they would be together.

  
And it was perhaps love let Dean became a monster, let lose himself, his humanity, all that was beautiful in him, his light, his heart, this was perhaps, love?  
And then, losing once again that for which they had always fought, their hope, their help people, save .... If you liked Dean, could not let you destroy so, he lost himself, and could not even more be him to accompany him in this abyss of self-destruction.

 

He knew there was a chance that Dean was right, he would not have wanted more if it was human again, and the thought filled him with pain ... but accept the proposal of Dean ... .Ddio, this was not love ... he would not destroy his brother for not only losing a lover, what kind of monster it would have been if he did?  
"Sam, agrees to come with me and we could be together forever"

  
And Sam leaders that this was exactly the same phrase saying all the evil men of the show blinded with love, and he was very sorrowful.  
"You ... .ti realize what you're asking?" She asked Sam crying.

  
Dean was aware of it all right but could not avoid it "is," Dean said sorry.

  
"Okay then ..." he said Sam always crying, and Dean looked relieved. "Thanks," she replied.

  
Sam went up to him and hugged him, also weeping by Dean. It was only when you feel that Dean had lowered his guard, who took out the syringe imbued narcotic that had hidden in his breast pocket. A flash of movement and Dean blinked collapsing on the floor asleep.

Sam looked mortified as he was lifted his head.  
"What took you so long?" He asked a voice behind him.  
"I ... I did not think ..." said Sam mortified ...  
"I did not think what?" Crowley asked irritably.

 

 

 

 

 

A week before ....  
   
   
"Listen carefully, if you want to have a little hope of being able to save Dean, and bring them back to bat it's time to squirrel that was a time, you must not afford weaknesses, you must not get soften the sadness, the despair ...."  
   
"Easy to say," Sam said sadly.  
   
"As you will see, it is very likely that you will throw on foot, who will try to lure you desperately to himself, might even get to beg to love him, and it is there that you will have to be cruel to him, hurt him even in words if necessary. "  
   
"You can not ask me that ... ..nella situation where you now, break his heart ...."  
   
"You'll have to do it if you want to save it ..." Crowley said impatiently.  
   
"Listen to me, moose, is a perfect plan. The more you feel deprived of your love and the more strenuously tries, desperately, and THIS is the only way to succeed in riaccendergli feelings, or even just to make him feel nostalgic, "he added, seeing that Sam was silent.  
   
"And if you hate me for this?"  
   
"More and more the respingerai you will fall at the feet, trust me moose, can not get away from you too long, and then he nearly lost his soul for you, for two times, and this forms an unbreakable bond. It is related to you, like it or not "  
   
Sam was silent digesting the words of Crowley.  
   
"Only, perhaps, trying to figure out when you have to stop, do not go beyond a certain limit, do not overdo it ... you have to be cruel to hurt him, but then you have to go back to first and give him the love he wants"  
   
Sam said nothing.  
   
"And I hope you understand that talking about love mean in every sense, right Sam?"  
   
Sam Crowley turned watching with a look of terror.  
   
"I saw you," Crowley said impatiently. "When you came out of his room, and then also in the kitchen, carezzine, kisses, God he was getting diabetes. "  
   
Sam stood up backing.  
   
"Hey do not have to make that face, moose, not shock me, I've seen all the colors as king of hell and I made especially" grinned. "Your relationship if you must know I was not even shocked that much, I always found it a bit '... .ambigua ...." He said, smiling slyly.

Sam swallow and felt blush violently.  
"Who else knows?" Sam asked.

  
"Oh no, there Castiel that I am always at his heels, wondering what is happening to you, is concerned about you, oh I do not make that face, I did not say anything ... .quell'angelo is just a ball and chain. Why should we take him below? "Said Crowley.

  
Sam tried to bring attention to Dean because it was really too embarrassed to talk about them: "With regard to what you were saying before ...."  
"Oh yeah, right, you have to give him the love he wants, in every sense, spiritual and physical ... physical .l'amore has a disruptive effect on a soul that is in danger of being corrupted from the inside ... and Dean It is still hopelessly hopeless. But it needs a ... aiutino..diciamo "  
"You realize that you're proposing to ...... no, I never will!"

  
"What you do not do? Save it? And then how many stories to something you both want you first. "  
"You can not be so presumptuous and arrogant to say what I want or Dean!"

  
Crowley looked at him triumphantly: "Ohhh I was right, then, there was still complete union between you two boys. It is as I thought. And maybe it's Dean who does not want it? "  
"Stop, stop, please," said Sam terrified that Bobby or Castiel could hear them.

  
"Did he tell you that he is afraid to defile it? But this is a foolish fear. Do you think their demons because they are what they are, have taken a vow of chastity? And what fun would that be to accoppiarci only between us? You are so ingenuotti, you people "Crowley said with a giggle.  
Sam tried to quell the nausea at the thought of Crowley and many of his followers who lured the poor women or poor people, and maybe not even that those poor people they knew who were in reality.

  
"And in the case of Dean still better, because its processing is not yet complete. So go ahead peaceful "Crowey said grinning," But, Sam, do not think that this is enough ... .Dean could be a point that the transformation is too further and physical love may not be enough, and so you have to convince him to return Here, where we will find a cure! You're very careful Sam, do not let your guard down, and NOT fill it with words too sweet or too much honey, the only way to keep it is to treat it in a docile DURA. Tell me you'll do it "

 

 

 

 

 

Today….

   
"What did I tell you about not lower our guard?" Chided Crowley.  
   
"I truly believed that my love enough ... I ..."  
   
"Sure, sure ... but now I expect that I'll help you load it in the car."  
   
Sam had tried to follow the advice of Crowley, had afflicted Dean to weaken his side corrupted pushing to become evil, he had done and was doing well initially, but then see Dean crying, feeling hurt by him, the person He loved more than any other, excited for that pendant that had meant so much to them, and finally dance hey Jude with him he remembered when he sang to him ... .. had not resisted and had abandoned the tenderness and love. It was weak, he understood, but he could not do otherwise. But maybe he was not wrong, maybe he was wrong then? He tried to keep in mind all the special achievements after their night of love to try to figure out if he could have done something different.  
   
"I do not know what I did wrong. Dean never forgive me for this. "  
   
"Think I'm driving the car of Dean? will be a pleasure to torture when it healed, I will not stop more than remind "said Crowley.

 

Sam kept thinking that Dean would never have forgiven. For having made love with him, to be able to dispel his part corrupt, -though actually Sam knew that he had not only for them, but because he loved and wanted Dean sincerely - for having fallen asleep after having treacherously did not believe that would follow, he would not even forgiven for doing so human again against her will, and even, he realized, because he did it that he had to deal with their dirty report.

  
He felt prey to despair so great that he had to move from the back seat where he was at that time, to get back close to Dean, while the car was already on the move, in fact Crowley somewhat 'concerned said, "Hey but that do you? "

  
He turned and saw that Sam moved Dean asleep to let him rest his head against his chest as she wept softly and gave him little kisses on the head.

  
He realized that probably that scene for Crowley was painful, but he did not care, and then he was already aware of everything, so ... Crowley instead was sorry a bit ', and merrily said to Sam: "Be of good cheer Sam! the squirrel will eat chestnuts, break the boxes to the undersigned, he will return to his hobby favorite- or arguing with Castiel, instruct Kevin decipher some other tablet - perhaps that of unicorns time, riabbraccerà Bobby, tell him that he is like a father , threaten some demon and tell them that if they try to touch her brother kills them, tell them that you can just touch him - this is new this year! "Crowley said in an amused tone  
And despite himself Sam let out a chuckle.

  
"And then will come back to eat chestnuts, guarnirà with the icing of the cake, quarrel again with Castiel, Bobby says that he is like a father, he will decipher some other tablet or ask Kevin to do it for him, will drive out some demon ... . "Crowley repeated relentlessly.

 


	11. Chapter 11

 

 

"What happened? The attack by a demon? "Bobby cares when he saw Sam and Crowley in a fury, that supported Dean fainted.  
"The demons have nothing to do, grandfather, or perhaps, in a sense," said Crowley  
"He tried to take his own life?" Bobby asked not mind him.  
"No, Bobby, it was me," said Sam guiltily.

  
Bobby was stunned for a moment. "You have fought" ascertained.

  
"No…. Bobby, help us to take it apart, you too, then we will explain, "he said while seeing even get Castiel and Kevin.  
Dover tell Castiel, Bobby and Kevin the sad ending of the day, obviously omitting details incriminating, was nothing compared to having to be forced to go to Dean his blood purified human to get it back.

  
"Two or three doses should be enough, quiet" grinned Crowley.

  
"That's not the point. I thought we had reached the maximum level of intimacy yesterday ... yesterday evening, and now the other hand I am also giving my blood, and without his permission; I'm not sure that Dean wants. "

  
"Sam, maybe you hate even to death for this, but at least it will LIVE" said Crowle reasonable.  
And Sam said, nothing reflecting once again on his selfishness. Of course it was great that Dean was alive, but ... with what consequences?

 

 

The effects of the narcotic after two hours began to fade and Dean began to wake up, groggy, but was too ill to stand up, and that was when Sam had to make him the first injection. He would not have been able to make him asleep because along with the narcotic would bring a deadly mix and dangerous.  
   
Obviously that shot weakening Dean, who began to salirgli fever, and insisted that Sam will remain alone with him.  
   
"Forgive me," she whispered, while Sam held his hand.  
   
Sam kissed his hand that held, and with tears in his eyes said, "You have nothing to be forgiven. Now think of sleep ok? That's better if you keep your eyes closed, "he said  
   
"If you promise to stay," said Dean, and Sam did promise.  
   
   
   
   
After a while 'began the first hallucinations. Dean stirred in his sleep muttering incoherent words and Sam took care to try to make him come down with the fever of a wet cloth on the forehead.

 

 

 

*  
   
Dean was in a hospital, he began to wander the halls, when he found copies of himself as a child and his father, so real that for a moment he thought that he could touch them.  
   
"Dean, Dean, you want to see your brother, you want to see it?"  
"No, I'm hungry, I want to eat," said the little father.  
   
But the stubborn father picked him up and made him look out through the windows of the nursery.  
   
"Dad did not see it, it's too far," he rebelled.  
"Look, there's that little fellow."  
   
And suddenly the little turned around and saw that Sam Dean great baby had crossed the look with small Dean, and Dean that the little noticed and greeted him with his hand.  
   
"Yes, it's him, it's him, you saw Dean, good," said the father.  
   
And Dean was great them to contemplate the scene smiling. He did not remember that scene before, but now remembered everything perfectly as if it happened yesterday. How he felt happy when Sam had caught his eye. That was the first time that you feel that joy would be to take care and be responsible for someone, his brother.

 

The hospital suddenly vanished, are home now, and the mother was trying to get caught in her arms for the first time Sammy Dean: "I recommend you be careful with the little brother, Dean, it is so delicate" and Dean He looked so tenderly and took him in her arms, and smiled sweet, and Sam still infant would not stop to fix his eyes.  
"Mom, Sammy does not stop staring at me," said the little one.

  
"Well, it's a good thing, it means that he likes you," said the mother.  
At one point Sammy began to make him small carezzine to touch his face and tufts of hair.  
Do not have a dog, Sammy, "she said Dean touched.

  
The scene changed again and Dean relived the horrible trauma of the night of the fire at their home and the death of their mother, Mary. He saw himself running away from the burning house with her up Sammy and beyond saw he still insisted that small to sleep every night in the cradle along with Sam, from that horrible night.  
"Dean you're too big to sleep in the crib, please get out" repeated John.

  
"But Dad, if the monster returns will try to do again hurt Sammy" cried Dean and then John had to take both of her children and put them in bed with him, to try to reassure Dean and Sam, because when crying Dean, Sam saw his brother crying, did the same.

 

Another memory. Dean had just accompanied Sam on the highway to Stanford.  
   
"I can not believe you want to go to Stanford. I can not believe you want to leave me and Dad, "Dean said in a seventeen year old Sam.  
   
"Dad was telling me to leave," Sam said.  
   
"Please stay, I'll talk to him, everything will settle down" trying to convince Dean.  
   
"Dean," Sam said sad, and hugged him. Dean smiled back and said nothing. After a while Sam turned and walked away.  
   
Dean was sad that he had to relive these memories.  
   
But suddenly there came another.  
   
 

 

 

"Hey Sam, you know we're just stronger together," Dean said to Sam.  
   
Dean remembered that phrase. It was when he tried to convince Sam to return to hunt with him.  
   
"True," replied Sam.  
   
A smile lit up the face of Dean.

 

Meanwhile in the present, while Sam kept looking Dean sleep, suddenly Dean still semiconscious hugged him, confusing.  
   
"Assecondalo" Crowley said from behind the door.  
 

   
 

 

  
He spent another memory and Dean saw himself about to die, and his father to sacrifice him.  
   
"What is dead should stay dead," he muttered in his sleep.  
   
Sam looked at him worried.

 

 

In the new memory see Meg with the body of Sam groped to throttle, and instantly open your eyes to reality, terrified of Sam who was standing near.  
"Dean, no, it's me, I'm Sam!

  
"What will I do, is nothing compared to what you do to yourself, you could not save your father and inside you know you will not be able to save your brother, would be better off without you," said the demon Meg with Dean's body  
"Sam's going on?" Bobby asked alarmed.

  
"He has hallucinations, help me" Sam pleaded.  
"No! Get away from me! "Yelled Dean.  
Suddenly took a mace, swords as for defense, and began to speak:

 

 _Yes, well ... it makes smart jokes ...._  
But I can not lie ...  
I know the truth ....  
I know what you're dead inside ... ..  
As you feel useless ....  
I know when you look in the mirror ... you hate what you see ...

 

"What is he saying?" Asked Sam.  
   
"I think that they are his words, Sam," said Castiel  
 

  
 

Dean spoke again: "SON OF A BITCH"  
   
"I think this is Dean," said Kevin.

  
"MY FATHER WAS OBSESSED BASTARD !!

all that crap that I had to protect Sam, but it was not his fault! He has not been able to protect the family, he ....  
he let my mother die!  
and there was never for Sam, I will always "Dean said, crying.  
   
"It was not fair, I did not deserve all that I was leaning.

I DO NOT DESERVE THE HELL "He said dropping to his knees.

 

Sam had never heard Dean so. There was that day, and so desperate to hear the heart broke and immediately ran to embrace him.  
"Diosanto Dean" Bobby murmured.

  
"I did not know ... I did not know ..." she sobbed Sam, who was not aware of this great outpouring of Dean and you feel guilty for all the times that taunted Dean not to matter nothing to go to hell.

  
"It's no use thinking about the past," she said Dean Castiel taking the arms of Sam and again by resting on a bed.  
"What are you doing? No, Castiel. "

  
"Sam, you must, if you continue with hallucinations," said Castiel beginning to bind his hands and feet "would surge to get hurt"  
"Cas, never change," Dean said in a sweet tone, and Castiel remembered averglielo already heard but not remembered when ****  
"Sam," Dean repeated."Yes, Dean are here."

  
"I beg you, do not be angry with me, I had to take care of you, it is my job."  
"It is also my task," he said Sam giving him a kiss on the forehead.

 

 _In here there is absolutely NOTHING, Dean ... do not you can fill it, right? He is eating nor drinking, and even sex. You can smile, laugh, lie to your brother, lie to yourself, but NOT TO ME ...._  
I can see you in, Dean, I see what you're hurt ....  
You can not win and you know it  
But continues to struggle  
He keeps doing the same moves ...  
You're not hungry, Dean, because inside you're already dead!  


"No, not true, there is nothing in me, no no, not true," he complained Dean crying

  
"Dean!"

  
"Sam, come on, it's no use staying here," he tried to drag him away Bobby

  
"Let me, I have to stay"

  
"No, let's leave it alone for a while '!" Insisted Castiel

  
And Sam consent. Besides, there was nothing he could do at the time.  
They left the room while Dean was crying for Ellen and Jo, saying it was not his fault that they were dead.

 

Later Sam still need to return to give Dean the second dose of blood and found him curled up on itself.  
Please stop "Dean pleaded.

  
"Stop what?" Asked Sam sad.

  
"By making so much noise! The sounds deafen me! The sound of the door, of your steps, it seems to me that I burst in the head! "Moaned Dean  
"Sorry," she said Sam making him another injection.

  
"Please make it stop, foul it off, I just do not feel anything," Dean said,

  
then at that point Sam put a headset on your ear and Dean did start the song Do not ever let it end. He put the headset at the other end and lay down next to Dean.  
"Listen to this song Dean, listen to it with me. "

  
Do not ever let it end meant literally, never leave it to end.  
Dean Sam just put this song, immediately he seemed to relax and listen kidnapped.

 

A few minutes later, Dean was embraced Sam on the couch, the song that had yet to finish, and whispered softly, "do not think that there is only one thing, past or present, that puts in front of you. I need you to understand. please. "said dean accarezzandgoli cheek.  
   
  Sam, though he knew it was a rewind of that tragic night at the church when Dean prevented him from concluding the third round, he hoped that half were aware that to him was repeating with the intention to emphasize good, and even though he knew that he would not had to do it while Dean was so vulnerable and not entirely in itself, he was shaken by how tender and gentle with which she told him, and could not resist the kiss, and Dean did not budge. He kissed.  
   
 

   
   
Dean still felt bad. He felt excruciating pain in the chest. It was the heart that he was returning to pump oxygen free from the spiral of evil that was going to bribe him, the bones were pulled him cry out in pain, his head seemed to split in two. His vision was blurred, and his legs gave way; and the light ... it was as if someone had entered the 200-watt lights.  
   
Someone off! Dean thought. and the colors are so messy, were not so clear before ... because they are so bright now? Because he felt the tingling in the legs and hands?  
   
"Bobbyyyyy" yelled Dean.

 

"Dean is here, I'm here," Bobby said, hugging, and trying to ripulirgli nosebleed. The fact that his body was reacting so it was a good sign. He was returning human.  
   
"Bobby, Bobby, why are you dead? Why have you left alone? we were so lost without you, "said Dean.  
   
And Bobby replied that for him were like the children she never had, and that Sam was there with them, hearing these words was moved.  
   
"Dean oh, sorry, I'm sorry so much. Do not ever leave you alone, I promise "  
   
"Bobby, I do male.Mi light blinds the eyes.  
   
"Dean, fight him," said Bobby.  
   
"The light is too strong and the colors! Oh, the colors are too ON. They are so alive. Turn them off, please, turn them off. "  
   
"Dean"  
   
"I want to come back to see only black and white .... Only those colors. All other colors are so ... LIVELY and want to hurt me. "Dean said, shuddering.

"Dean, nobody wants to hurt you, look at them, forward!" Bobby said.  
   
"No!" "Look at them. They are beautiful, Dean, you need not fear any evil colors. They will light and heat, look at them, look at the colors, Dean." Dean opened his eyes again and those who before had seemed ugly spots that overlapped with mouth instead of his mouth like a hideous beast, suddenly had become stains that did not overlap more, but that splash as sunlight. It was like a magic brush them had scattered magically in the air, putting them in place. The color returned to their place. "Dean." Bobby called him back again, worried. Suddenly Dean smiles.  
   
The colors were not horrendous. They were so BEAUTIFUL.  
   
Dean shivered again but this time with emotion.

 

 

It is now the third and final dose and Dean asked to see Castiel.  
   
Told him he had a family, who needed him, and Castiel although it was the second time she heard him, he had compassion. The first time was surprised, but too shaken applying, Naomi, to be moved. Dean said he was sorry to have disappointed so many times and that he would never did, and Dean told him he believed him.  
   
   
Iintanto were returning even the scents and smells, and tastes.  
   
He returned the smell of gasoline of his beloved Impala when he stopped to fill up and the sound it made when scoured  
   
and the taste of his beloved pie  
   
he remembered the sound of the gun of his father  
   
the taste of the beer and the smell of whiskey so loved Bobby.  
   
the sweet scent of balsam hair Sam  
   
the taste of bittersweet kiss Jo when the shadow of death was about to attack her  
   
 

   
Along with the smells and flavors of the dark thoughts returned accompanied them, the melancholy, the feeling of being lost, broken in two.

Dean noticed also remember the hugs, especially the embrace of her sweet little Sammy when he died in his arms, pushing him to make that deal to save it.  
   
She hugged him getting his hands dirty with his blood caused by this horrible wound in the back.

 

caresses the scratches feel more  
   
   
   
was made ... now he had to wait. And it was what they were all doing.

 


	12. Can you establish the boundaries now?

Dean Winchester was vomiting in the bathroom.  
   
Sam Crowley, Bobby, Castiel and Kevin were going to run, when he bent over the toilet wiped his chin blackish liquid with a roll of toilet paper and shut the door in their face before they could enter.  
   
"Please stay out, it is not a good show." He told them.  
   
The troops seemed to insist and Dean repeated: "Give me time to recover, and to take a shower and have you, really I'm fine, but I really need a shower."  
   
Dean felt the troop away with the rumblings of Bobby, the whispers of concern Castiel and Sam, the giggles of Kevin and ghignetti mocking Crowley.

   
Sigh. For a moment of sheer terror she had believed that they would insist on watch over him while he showered. For they were afraid? Now the worst was over, and it was solved with a nice outlet in the cabinet, and if they were afraid that he tried to run away ... .why the hell would have to think of escape?  
   
He slipped in the shower and sighed with pleasure at hearing the jet of hot water on his body invading heat. The hot water that slid to wet the head and hair seemed to lighten the mind and wipe out all the bad thoughts.  
   
... Escape.  
   
It was what he had done twice. He still could not believe he had to be abandoned and fled away from the only people he loved ... Castiel, Bobby, Sam ....  
   
But of course it was what he had done, he said continuing to lather ... .aveva made a lot of mistakes ....  
   
He rested his head on the cold tile of the shower and closed his eyes ... .apropos of mistakes ...

 

*  
   
Dean came out of his room, and hugged Bobby, Castiel, Kevin, and after a moment's hesitation hugged jokingly well Crowley with the air to make him a major concession, and Crowley feigned disgust, but then smiled and Dean returned in a silent thanks.

   
"Where's Sam?" Dean asked. It was the first he had tried, but not seeing him had embraced before others.

   
"I think it's in her room, Dean" said Castiel doing to follow him, but he was stopped by Crowley, who told him: "Oh Castiel, I think I found your collection of toy soldiers angel, come and I'll show you where they were stuffed "he said tugging somewhere else a confused Castiel and reserving a meaningful look at Dean again thanked him silently.  
   
   
   
Sam had sought refuge in his room. He needed a few minutes of silence. He did not know whether to take it immediately to face Dean, on the one hand he had a strong desire to embrace him, the other had a great fear of how it would have looked now; to interrupt her thoughts someone knocked on the door and Sam already knew who was supposed to be.  
   
"Yes?" He asked hesitantly.  
   
"Sam, it's me."  
   
"Come in," said Sam.  
   
Dean entered. He had a neat white shirt and old faded jeans, his face was if possible even more beautiful, his hair still wet and crushed on the head, and those eyes really had not realized how much they were green and shimmering before his transformation almost made them a dull green. But now they shone. Shone because of his newfound humanity and Sam found himself thinking that he was so happy that they came back to shine.

"Sam," Dean smiled beginnings.  
Sam was near the window, looking at him almost moved but did not dare step. It was Dean who advanced him to overcome the distance between them almost running, and threw herself into his arms.  
   
Sam sighed and hugged squeezing strong.  
   
"So do not have it with me?" He asked Sam  
   
"Oh Sam, even forgive me for being a complete asshole, please."  
   
That sentence had he already said, but Sam avoided them this.  
   
Sam tried to free himself from the iron grip that had imprisoned him Dean, but still remained at a breath from her face.  
   
"You're damned soul to bring me back, I told you that I had not forgotten." Said Sam, who did not know actually if Dean remembered their conversation in the car.  
   
Dean said, leaning his forehead against Sam and closing his eyes, and Sam did the same.

Both they made of sighs suffered

Sam did not know the reason for that gesture on the part of Dean, but instinctively started to give him a pat on the cheek, but as he tried to brush Dean stopped immediately wrist so rude.  
   
Sam's eyes widened immediately terrified of having made a gesture unwelcome, and was calmed only by the look on Dean. He did not seem angry. The soon he left wrist, but he bent to give him a tender kiss on the corner of the mouth, lingering for a few seconds. Sam closed his eyes and sighed ...  
but Dean pulled away after a few seconds, leaving the room, looking at him with an unreadable leaving him totally thrilled.

 

Sam had to worry to invent a plausible story to justify to others how he had to approach Dean just enough to be able to bring him home. Dean was silent to avoid saying anything that might be out of tune with his story, sparking a big mess, and others, mindful of what had just passed Dean, not made him questions fortunately, letting Sam was talking to him.  
   
Dean seemed lost in another world, and if Sam had not known it was just healed, he said that the darkness was still a part of him.  
Not looking at him.

Sam continued to look for the eyes of Dean, in vain. Dean kept stubbornly look the other way, and at dinner he made sure to sit as far away from Sam, which, Sam noticed and that wounded him much.  
   
Bobby, Castiel, and Kevin Crowley tried not to bring the discussion about what had happened to Dean, because he had already talked enough, and wanted to leave Dean quiet. Sam on his part was wounded by the behavior of his brother, and he wondered if he regretted what had happened between them, and such a possibility hurt him even more; It not when he does not bargained for, clearly, is that only made him sick and he did not know how to behave. Groped to talk to him or to ignore it?  
   
"Sam are you all right?" He asked suddenly Bobby and Dean looked back at Sam.  
   
Sam shook himself from the torpor that threatened to assault him. "It ... no..scusate..è that was a rough day today."  
   
"My fault," Dean said guiltily, and Sam could not help but wonder if that phrase was hiding another. Then he thought he was being paranoid. "Dean you not your fault," replied Sam reluctantly at that time the last thing he wanted to do was comfort him.  
   
"Where are you going?" Asked Dean, seeing him get up.  
   
  Sam stared at him trying to capture something in those green eyes. He seemed alarmed.  
   
"To sleep, Dean, was a hard day."  
   
Dean kept looking at him while Sam walked away disappointed at all, even angry at the most.

It had to be a dream. Yes, surely only a dream, having reserved indifference that Sam, Dean could have introduced in his bedroom, and kneeling at the foot of his bed, begin to stroke his hair with the gentleness of a lover.  
   
Sam said nothing and tried not to move, indeed, not even breathe. She was afraid to scare Dean and that he would leave at the slightest movement.  
   
Dean began to give soft kisses on the cheek repeated.  
   
"What are you doing? "Sam asked, that at that point he could no longer pretend to sleep  
   
"I knew you were not sleeping," said Dean touched.  
   
"Why are you here?" Asked Sam.  
   
Dean hesitated for a moment, then said: "I wanted to give you good night."  
   
Sam knew that if he tried to kiss him, Dean would have run from the room, so he restrained himself and said instead: "Do you want to sleep here?"  
   
Dean looked at Sam's bed like a tomb, and Sam added hastily: "is spacious enough to hold us both, and I'll stay in my part, I promise."  
   
"Sam. I can not, "he said sorry, and let Sam stay. Only when he saw that Dean was about to leave, he said: "I can only have a hug? "  
   
And Dean then turned and walked back quickly from Sam, Get on the bed and hugged him. Hugged him, then he grabbed his face and gave it to upholster small kisses, always excluding the mouth, and Sam felt completely helpless, unable to react in one way or another. Eventually he gave him another kiss on the forehead, lingering lips on it, and doing almost brought tears to my eyes to Sam with emotion and tenderness that passed, but he tried to hold them back.  
   
"Good night, Sam," Dean said went off precipitously.  
   
"Good night, Dean."

Sam did not know what was happening or what was going through the head of Dean, but one thing seemed certain, did not seem to intend to move away from him, at least he gave that impression, and Sam felt happier than ever this thought .


	13. A strange relationship

Sam struggled to sleep that night, he kept thinking about Dean, and how things were going to change from now on.  
   
 A part of him wanted to continually go beyond his room and force him to talk about it, the other party told him that it was probably the best way to remove him. Dean did not want to talk about it, otherwise he would have done it as soon as he recovered, and besides, his chaste kisses yesterday had been a more than express his doubts: now that Dean had returned human had every intention of putting an end to their scandalous relationship, unfortunately.  
   
Unfortunately? No no no, he should say fortunately, but what was wrong with him?  
   
Yet Sam could not help but think that when he and Dean were loved, and above all the time when Dean had opened with him and had confessed his feelings, were the moments when you really felt happy as never in all his life, it was like being in paradise, like living a dream. Too bad then there was the awakening.  
   
Awakening that Sam knew that would happen, but right now the most important thing for him was to save Dean, could not allow it to become a demon only to preserve their mad love, and if he did not would have ever forgiven , and even the real Dean, the one who cared anything yet, would never have done.  
   
Sam wanted Dean to understand that by doing so, as if it never happened, or as if it were something so rotten that it must be eliminated, not harmed only him, but also to himself.  
   
He paused mentally wondering why it had to be so arrogant as to assume that Dean cared, and that is that the heart would answer you, because kissing yesterday, that desire and frenzy that showed it, and little did it matter if they were chaste, the impetus with which you gave them was anything but chaste, Sam.  
   
And then resumes maybe stupid and pathetic to those thoughts.  
   
"Sam," he called, his voice really wanted to hear at that moment, and that's the heart and brain they are suddenly fell silent.  
   
Dean was walking toward him. He was wearing the sweatpants and an old white T-shirt, and it was really sexi, albeit still disheveled and his eyes bright with sleep.  
   
"What happened to the robe?" Sam asked, trying not to look at him.  
   
"I can not find anymore. Cas and Crowley were sure to make me disappear.  
Or maybe Kevin. They'll pay for this, "he said sullenly.  
   
"And if it was Bobby? "Sam asked, barely repressing a giggle.  
   
"Bobby? Bacon with that I do not think we would come, "Dean said.  
   
"Stupid," Sam said, chuckling and arranging the best coffee.  
   
"Dumb," Dean said in a tone that seemed to want to say "love" or maybe it was Sam to see him so, because he wanted it to be so.  
   
And then unexpectedly Dean did something that Sam did not expect and that the open space.  
   
 Suddenly he encircled the waist from behind, in a tender embrace and resting her head on his neck. Sam froze.  
   
"Breakfast is ready? I'm hungry "purred Dean.  
   
Sam tilted his head back placing it at the head of Dean.  
   
"In a few minutes," he said, stroking her hair.  
   
"Well," she said Dean kissing him on the cheek and walked away leaving him more confused than ever.  
   
   
 He made only a few steps that Sam ends flat on the floor with a deafening noise.  
   
   
"SAM!" Yelled Dean.

 

 

*  
   
   
Sam awoke he was sprawled on the couch with Dean at his side who watched over him.  
   
"What the hell happened?" Moaned Sam.  
   
"You had fainted, Sam. Evidently the blood you gave to Dean yesterday you weakened, and mistaken or have not eaten hardly anything last night? "She scolded Bobby.  
   
"It's been hours. I should recover, "said Sam.  
   
"Not if you have been for several hours on an empty stomach" Bobby insisted.  
   
Then accompanied to a certain amount of stress and failure to rest ... hey do not look at me like that, you see four kilometers away that the elk did not sleep, has dark circles that is scary, "said Crowley.  
   
"You seem to have a bad appearance, Dean" said Castiel, Sam and realized only then the eye of his brother, so similar to his ... and gave a fool not to have noticed before ... what else escaped him?  
   
"It's nothing, yesterday I was upset. It was clear that the adrenaline would prevent me from getting to sleep, you pretty well back to your things, I will make sure that Sam face a hearty breakfast "Dean said ignoring the protests of Sam, while the others walked away giggling.

 

 

Incredibly Crowley managed to get out Bobby, Castiel and Kevin with an apology, and then Sam and Dean were alone.  
 

   
"Finish your drink milk, eat all the cookies, and do not forget the apple, and yogurt" Dean scoffed.  
   
"Why are you making fun of me?" Asked Sam said sadly.  
   
Dean knew at once what it was about Sam, and you feel your heart rending.  
   
"Oh, Sam, you're the most important thing I have, I could never make fun of you, please," she said bowing his head on his neck.  
   
And Sam, who did not understand the whole thing for Dean was praying, she whispered with tears in his eyes:  
   
 "And yet you did, when you told me you loved me"  
   
Dean, his head still on his neck she whispered: "I did not do."  
   
"So you love me?" Sam asked, almost afraid of having illusions.  
   
"Do not ask," said Dean supplicant.  
   
"You are unjust," said Sam.  
   
"I would be unjust? Do you realize what you're asking me, huh? Do you realize that this thing will get you to hell? I've been there and I do not want to come back, "Dean said, getting up from the couch angry.  
   
Sam got up from the couch. He went up to him and whispered, closing his eyes:  
   
 "You went to hell to save my life leaving me alone, but you're not willing to go there to be with me. I hate you, "she said sadly.  
   
And Dean would have much preferred that Sam had thrown a punch, anything would be preferable rather than the tone disappointed and sad that you feel at that moment

 

 

 

The next few days were difficult days, Sam focuses his days in the manuscripts and old books of Writers, did research on the fallen angels continued to read of priests who practiced care for demons ... .you discover that there were more than he could imagine, and Sam was very curious to read their stories.

  
For Dean, the indifference of Sam was like a boulder impossible to swallow. Did his best to get his attention, talking to him, he was nice to him, trying to convince him to go on errands together, and to be fair then Sam was NOT so much grumpy. It was usually polite, and hideously indifferent, almost cynical. He not is looking at him, not smiling at him and did not respond to his outbursts of affection. If Dean tried to embrace him, he remained rigid, if asked if he was still angry, said no, if it was trying to get closer, Sam walked away ... and Dean seemed to go crazy.

  
"Why do you ignore me like this? "He shouted once

  
"I'm not ignoring, I am doing what you told me. Normally we are brothers, now "  
"I did not mean that I should ignore and we do not talk more"

  
" you do not understand anything! Go away! Get out of my room! "Shouted against Sam buttandogli a book, making Dean out of the room.

 

"You may know that you two cosa'avete lately? You did escape Bobby and Kevin, I can no more of your quarrels "chided Castiel.

  
"Bobby and Kevin have gone away for a few days, not for me and Sam, but because they had business to attend to," grumbled Dean "and still stay out, Cas"

  
"Because everyone tells me to stay out? And why say all this here instead? "Moaned loudly Castiel Crowley pointing with his thumb, while Crowley laughed:" Because I am the king and you are my fool, and nobody asks for advice to the Court Jester. "

  
Dean froze. Sam was going to confide in Crowley. He returned in a fury inside Sam's room.  
"Why do you always do damage?" Asked Crowley to Castiel.

  
"TALK TO ME INSTEAD OF TALK CROWLEY" shouted against Dean opened the door of his room and risbattendogliela face without giving way to replicate, leaving Sam on the bed completely aghast.

 

 

The fact is that Sam finally relented, or at least began to talk to him, although it was still quite cold with Dean, and contacts were minimal, by Sam, because Dean instead seemed to do everything to find a contact with him, sometimes leaning as if nothing had a hand on his knee, or tried to scostargli a lock of hair, and Sam drew back almost immediately most of the time answering with confusion approaches Dean, not understanding what she wanted from him.  
   
Especially the days and times, bad times, were erratic, which alternated the days. Sometimes Dean was thrown on the couch while Sam sat and leaned her head on his lap, putting him more than a little uncomfortable, because often did while there were also Crowley and Castiel present, and Bobby that you never knew when he came home and when not.  
 

   
   
   
One day Dean insisted to cut his hair, and he did this despite the protests of Sam. and while doing shampoo, rubbing the hair with a sweetness that even Sam likened to that of lovers, while Dean did not know that he was glad to have an excuse to be able to touch without feeling somehow at fault, and while massaging plan the head, he could hear Sam sighed, and felt a gentle plunge into him in the guts. Maybe it made him talk:  
"You know, Sam, when you were little I always washed my hair."

 

 

"Me? I vaguely remember ... what shampoo I fell into my eyes "  
Dean laughed. "I did it on purpose and in any case you risciacquavo immediately .. How I liked you shampoo, was relaxing, and then taking care of you and cuddle at the same time."

  
"And you liked it? Cuddle, I mean "Sam asked, wondering what divine madness had them stuffed into that discussion.  
"I always liked to take care of you," she said Dean tone loving.

  
Sam waited for Dean to continue, but he did not, and only then asked: "Why?"

  
Dean thought for a bit 'up and then said: "It's like I always always been the most precious thing that I, as if I belonged ... you ..."  
Sam gulped for a moment and Dean said hastily: "God, Sam, I'm sorry, I did not want ..."  
"It's all right, Dean, really, I'm glad to hear you say it."

  
Dean began to wipe and simultaneously cut his hair. Sam liked to feel the hands of Dean on her hair, he liked to touch him with gestures that, maybe it was an illusion, seemed loving.

 

 

"Sam, you gave me your blood, to cure me, and I have not even thanked," he said suddenly.  
   
"Do not have to do it," he said Sam precipitously "in fact I was afraid you did not like it ..."  
   
Dean sighed sarcastically: "We shared a lot more blood the two of us."  
   
Sam felt nervous again, and replied: "I know, but blood is blood. You ... .intim..really not you sorry to have my blood inside you? "  
   
Dean could not help but be honest: "I actually found something ... poetic ... is a symbiotic bond .." laughed plan.  
   
"Dean, stop ... stop talking ... I know that today you drank a little 'too ... .."  
   
Dean sighed sarcastically: "When I speak, it is because I do not speak, I speak when I talk too much, you decide how you want me, Sammy"  
   
"You're drunk, I should not be around you when you're like that, you become obnoxious."  
   
"But why, when you're never close, Sammy, lately?"  
   
"We were talking about blood, remember? What you were asking me blood? "Sam asked, that he regretted bitterly that he ventured into that discussion  
   
"Oh yeah, right ... well before you did not think that the blood was so important, why you changed your mind? I made you more sentimental, Sammy. "  
   
"I'm sorry he did?" Sam asked, so the only reason why it was massacring of punches Dean at that time, could be reduced to the fact that he did not want to rage, knowing that he was drunk, and because then he'd be with means hair cut, and means no ... and it would not be pleasant.  
   
"I can not remember what I had to say ...." Dean said that was beginning to turn his head  
   
"You'd better sit down, even to lie down, Dean, really fix me I end of the hair."  
   
But Dean could not take it even walk, because he staggered too, and Sam had to help him get back in the room, where he lay in the bed.  
   
"I'm sorry, Sam, I'm a fool," he muttered, holding his forehead. "I say a lot of crap."  
   
Sam found positive the fact that he used the word "say" and not "i do" and hated himself for having made that finding.  
   
"Sam, please stay here with me"  
   
"Dean, I wet hair"  
   
"Please"  
   
"No"  
   
"Please "  
   
"Dean"  
   
But Dean grabbed him by the collar and forced him to lie down next to him  
   
Dean tried Sam's hand and let Sam found her.  
   
They not embraced but still remained close.

 

Another day found themselves making a joke a pillow fight, which ended with Dean that Sam kept nailed to the floor, and then Sam freed himself and tried to get the better and then again the other hand, continued to roll around on the floor like children, where the late Dean managed to win over Sam. She kept him pinned to the floor and saw him laughing and had a smile so sweet and was so carefree, and Dean would do anything to see him laugh always so.  
   
And then he remembered that he had already thought of such a thing, just as had happened ... ..and he was a pang to the heart in sudden memory ...  
   
 She said nothing to Sam, indeed took crisps and sweets and also called Crowley and Castiel to see a movie together, evening based films, chips and sweets ....  
   
Although Sam is enjoyed throughout the film. He fell asleep in the first half time, Dean's shoulder, and after a while 'Dean could not resist even more and put him in turn the head against Sam. They slept well, over each other, on the couch, and Castiel and Crowley did not have the heart to wake them or separate them, and so let them sleep on the couch by burdening them with a blanket. Slowly slid more and more until she was lying on the sofa, always embraced each other  
   
   
The first to wake up the next morning, it was Sam, he rubbed his eyes and realized he had hardly slept leaning against Dean all night.  
   
"Shit ..." he said, squinting and trying to get up, but Dean held him with one arm ..  
   
"Stay here, do not do anything wrong, Sam."  
   
Sam looked at him. Dean's eyes were shining with sleep. He was scared too, but his hand remained where it was.  
   
"Let me get up, I have to put in place" he tried to tell Sam.  
 

 felt disheveled, sore from having slept on the couch, confused and probably also excited by the fact that he had slept on Dean throughout the night, and perhaps alarmed by who knows what they must have thought Castiel and Cowley  
   
But Dean shoved his arm and dropped it on him yet, and the head of Sam's fine again on his chest.  
   
"There is still a few minutes," she said  
   
And Sam's heart was pounding in my chest so much that he feared that Dean could hear him, and it was probably so, but also because, Dean said nothing.  
   
Sam felt a fool, Dean had told to stay there, and he after a weak resistance, he had come to surrender.  
   
\- Dean had made you believe to be totally for you, and you had deceived subtly, perhaps now even laughed at your naivete, - said a small voice inside him that he had renamed "the monster"  
   
-And You, destroyed property  
   
Unable to react or to reject  
   
Breed page! 

 

 

  
 


	14. My obsession

From that day it settled as a new intimacy between Sam and Dean.  
   
 The contacts became more frequent, and more possessive ... not only caresses, hugs or kisses, often found themselves embraced, or placed against each other, and this despite Sam tried as much as possible to keep their distance, but now the their relationship was becoming more and more a necessity than just physical touch, to be close, to seek hugs and caresses, becoming possibly even more codependent than it already was before.  
 

   
 Noticeable differences, even if minimal, compared to when Dean was a half-demon ... now the mouth of Dean on his skin seemed warmer, as well as his touch, his hands and narrow were full, full of strength, energy now that they had regained vitality; felt the warmth of his body, and also the movements more restrained than before, perceived indecision, fear, discomfort at times, the torment in his head, took his possessive remained but they were also more deductions, more human, delicate, uncertain, sometimes clumsy, sometimes more decisive, he felt the sweet and spicy smell of her skin, the scent of his aftershave.

Perceived his never let go of everything  
   
And Sam hated every moment of it, but could not help it, and he could not resist, even when he felt stifled by this strange relationship.  
   
It was as if, all the docility of Dean, who was in him when he was half demon, and that allowed Sam to feel strong and master even a little 'of the situation in that their relationship was gone ...  
   
 Since his return human, rational Dean was back, fought, restrained, moralistic, strict in his beliefs, and sometimes even irascible, and this inhibited Sam, in a sense, reversing the roles.  
   
   
Mind you, Dean had not only regained the parts of themselves negative human, it was not all bad.

 

He was back even sweet, and caring. Indeed, he had returned much sweeter than before. At least with him. He did not remember that it had ever been so affectionate with him in the past, but now, he did not know if it was because of what had happened between them, did not stop to cuddle, give him kisses on the cheek, neck, of wanting to stay close.  
   
And mind you, Sam was not opposed, because even if you do not want to admit it, a little 'I was happy, but there was the other side of the coin. The other side revealed that Dean did not seem to have changed their minds about them. Cuddled, she held him, embraced him, caressed him, but took care not to kiss him, or just to let him caress a bit 'more intimate, and Sam all this did not go down ... there was something very wrong with that. Dean had made it clear that they had to keep their distance, but meanwhile put their hands on them to him and how, -always strictly on clothes, and not to tamper prohibited parts - but not kissed him. If he wanted to keep his distance, he should keep them at all, because in the opinion of Sam, if only doing so they did something wrong, but vaglielo to explain to the stubborn Dean.  
   
If, as suspected Sam, Dean could not help but touch it, and to feel him close, because it needed their physical contact with him, at least that is decided, because the stalemate was driving him crazy; Dean get so stuck and not be able to kiss him, having to hold back from any form of caress a bit 'more intimate, it was just too much to bear. But what went into the head of that stubborn of his brother?  
   
One thing was clear, it was a situation that could last or endure for much longer; It had already been two weeks days after Dean was human again. Fourteen days that went on like this.

 

 

That day they were both on the bed, with Dean that had begun to make the octopus and Sam ... well Sam remained helpless in front of the torture his neck, that Dean was doing with her mouth with one hand continued to stroke his chest.  
   
"Can you even realize we're doing the petting, right?" Sam asked squinting while Dean proceeded nell'insana idea to make him mad, continuing to suck his neck  
   
"You're dressed Sam" Dean chuckled "and then ... .anzi, I think you're too far away," she said taking a leg and forcing him to aggrovigliarla around her body. Sam was well cared for restargli away at least his body, which Dean apparently did not like.  
   
In a move possessive and a bit 'rude, he had put his leg over him and stroked it to him now with the same possessiveness, and ... frenzy? Can it really wanted?  
   
This was for his brother? A pastime? He could not even be said to be a sex toy, since not having sex, and then even in his gestures possessive, rough and a little 'mocking, almost seemed to recognize the gentle touch, gentle, loving. There was love in those gestures?  
   
"This is your idea of keeping distances?" Sam asked, trying to sound reasonable.  
   
"I'm just kissing her neck," Dean said without detaching.  
   
"You're ... doing a hickey ... .Dean ... if I can not hide it, you will pay dear" Sam said trying to sound threatening, trying not to moan, something made difficult by the fact that it was exciting not just because of that asshole .  
   
"I want to hear ..." Dean said, and his voice seemed to change. He was no longer mocking, but serious, and veiled embarrassment ...  
   
Now he could almost hear Dean panting floor on his neck, and his touch seemed increasingly quivering, and Sam had shortness of breath. When he saw then that Dean slid his hand under her shirt to Sam trying to stroke his chest, he decided he had crossed the line.

 

"Enough," he said pulling out immediately, Dean's eyes widened, as if he had noticed only then to be losing control.

  
"You're really exaggerating. Is this your way to keep their distance? Huh ?? "he asked angry and red in the face.

  
"I did not want ..." Dean said, unable to find the right words to say what he did not want.

  
"What you did not want? Treat me like a puppet? Or as a sex toy? I am just that for you? Your distraction perverse? What the hell are you sadistic eh? "

  
Dean turned to look at his brother - Sam Winchester - also called Sam the mortally wounded

  
"Please do not say these things, you know that you're not this for me. I ... I need to feel vicino..scusa if I gave you the impression that ... "  
Sam looked at him with contempt and Dean felt die under his gaze, then Sam shook his head and left the room of Dean, leaving him with an expression mortified.

 

 

 

"Oh l'amour ...." He sighed Crowley. "After seeing you two, I changed my mind. I never want to be loved, " He said to Sam, looking terrified as they walked on the street.

  
"Look, you're wrong, the two of us we do not ... we do not love. Or at least not him, "Sam said in a low voice not to be heard by passers-by.

  
"Bah, I think instead, people are totally stupid when she is in love, and that's what he is right now, above all," he chuckled, pulling Sam chuckled.  
"I mean, you always were usually idiots, but now ..."

  
Crowley suddenly stopped seeing Castiel pass them on the street and look at them with a look that would have frozen anyone.  
"What's wrong? Angry with me? "Sam asked sad.

  
"That? Do not tell me you know the guy, "said Crowley grimacing, and Castiel watching with a look of disapproval.

  
"It is because of quarrels between me and Dean, right?"

  
Crowley sighed. "You know I think that you will not like"

  
"Nothing can surprise me or make me angry at this point. "

  
"You may think again ... .comunque know, Castiel keeps up with me at his heels, wondering what's going on there, and it looks like ... something suspect about the nature of your strange relationship ... he told me that lately are a bit 'TOO stuck, too intimate .... You know, I think he have a crush on your dear brother, Sam. "

  
"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT???"

 

When Sam and Crowley returned home, Sam looked Dean and Castiel who were sitting around the table studying the books, with a contemptuous look, and Crowley did the same.  
   
Castiel felt slightly surprised.  
   
Dean obviously looked from Castiel, and then Crowley and Sam, and said aloud: "Hey, did I miss something?"  
   
"Ah, do not tell me! I'm always the last to know things here, "said Castiel angry.  
   
Dean had had enough. "The you know what? I think there's a bit 'too secret in this house, "he said, spreading his arms and walked away.  
   
"But where are you going?" Asked Castiel.  
   
"To have a beer!" He said out of the house.

 

 

 

 

*

"We must be more careful, Crowley said that Castiel suspects something," said Sam, Room Dean, who was in bed reading a newspaper.  
   
"I see you VERY tied with Crowley lately ...." Dean said through the paper realizing it was already angry, and it was already jealous! "Anyway, suspect what?"  
   
"The ... the thing between us ..." Sam mumbled, feeling uncomfortable  
   
"What?"  
   
Sam did not answer and Dean looked up, finding again the old version of Sam Winchester Sam also told The Wounded In Death  
   
"Absolutely nothing," Sam said, shaking his head and walked away, feeling ridiculous and demoralized, and leaving Dean alone, to feel ridiculous, too.  
With all the things he could have said, because it was so full of himself, superficial and narrow-minded? Dean thought.

 

 

 

 

The next day, Sam was not as bad as the day before, but was still annoyed and indifferent, and the last thing she expected, as they sat for dinner, had felt something touch his leg, and with dismay became that it was the foot of Dean, who was pressing lightly against his leg. immediately withdrew her leg, disbelief, and the time had taken Dean to a kind of neurotic and just, but then saw that he was not even looking at him, he was convinced that he was wrong. but then again I feel that pressure, then the incinerator with the eyes and he had smiled to reciprocate with his mischievous expression number five.  
   
Meanwhile, Castiel and Crowley, were in the kitchen that they were putting on a theater for the freshly fried fish, and then sam took advantage leaned in front of him and whispered angrily:  
   
"Stop immediately"  
"Otherwise? He Ruggieri front of Crowley and Castiel? "Dean smiled mischievous.

   
   
Dean knew he was probably pulling too far, but he could not stop, the torment and unrest threatened to eat him alive like a tornado and then vented his frustration on Sam all - did you realize that monster? - She thought.  
   
   
Here, shortly after that dinner was finally started, Dean and Sam had reached back with his legs a contact, indeed, let's be clear, he had captured, he was now trapped and just could not move, and although Sam was looking for to free himself, he had to surrender to that contact.  
   
At least that was what he thought Dean.

 after just five minutes of apparent yield, Sam nervous, made a sudden leg and, without doing it on purpose, to reflect slammed his arm on the table by dropping heavily the water jug on the tablecloth with a great noise and combining half disaster .  
   
Dean fright immediately freed Sam's legs from his grip, but now the disaster was made. Sam was nervous at best and mortified by the disaster, and Crowley and Castiel looked at them and could not understand what had just happened.

   
"I…. excuse me, I have to go out, I have to take a little 'air' said Sam, leaving precipitously.  
   
Dean immediately pursued him, which he tried to do to turn Castiel, but Crowley stopped him by the shoulder and shook his head.

 

 

Sam had left the bunker, putting his hands over his face, Dean had followed him and put a hand on his shoulder, which Sam drove with his hand. Then Dean tried to put it on again and Sam pulled away again, then tried to grab him by the shoulders and Sam took to struggle more frantically.  
 

 "Sam, please," said Dean, looking into his eyes.  
   
"Stop praying, you're not even a believer," said Sam.  
   
"I'm sorry about before."  
   
"And for all the other things you do not mind?  
   
" Yes ."  
   
Sam could not understand what he meant is that, if in the sense that he was sorry but would have remedied all or in the sense that he was sorry but he could not help it, and that asshole did not tell her brother explained, the breathing on mouth a few millimeters panting desperation and Sam was just too much, then tried to push him away.  
   
"Stop it immediately," she said trying to wriggle and then pushing him away.  
   
"Sam. SAM! "Shouted Dean saw Sam take the car to Castiel, who had the keys on the steering wheel, and disappear into the darkness.

 

 

 

 

*  
   
   
Eventually Sam was back the next morning at about seven o'clock in the morning, after an evening spent in a bar to console himself with whiskey and sleep in the car, for what little I was able to sleep, because he did not want to go home right away.

He had gone a bit 'anger but not quite. He kept thinking that Dean was an idiot and that was to stop treating it as if it was his puppet. He felt burning humiliation for all the times that allowed him to treat it that way. Feeling that vanished as soon as he returned to the bunker and saw Dean standing with her robe, a glass of milky coffee in his hand, his face tired and red eyes dimmed, and he knew what he must have thought al'istante Dean saw him run away like that ... .

   
"You're back," she said looking at him with an expression that would have torn even the hardest of hearts and confirming to instantly what I had guessed. Dean had probably thought Sam would be gone forever, which would have left alone.  
Probably she had been crying all night at the thought.  
   
She wanted to hug him, cheer him, tell him that he would never leave him, but he did nothing about these things. Get thee up to take a shower and get some rest. He was too stunned by too many emotions and too tired and deprived of many hours of sleep, to be able to think straight.

   
   
Once awakened, it was almost noon, and Sam saw things in a different perspective.  
 Perhaps he thought that after all he had been too hasty last night to get angry and go away like that. It was clear that Dean had feelings for him that was not simple brotherly affection, wanted him, that was clear from the frenzy that always had to touch him, to have contact with him, and when he could not, if you eat with your eyes, and perhaps even he felt love ....  
Sam remembered the despair he saw in his eyes the night before when the breathing to two centimeters from the mouth and silently begging him not to leave.  
   
It was probably an asshole, you, the asshole of all, but could be justified by the fact that he was scared, and confused, and scared, and still scared. Dean, the Dean who loved him, it was not really so, it was good, loyal, kind, generous .... loving….  
   
   
Returning to the living room, he saw neither Castiel nor Crowley, had to be out, and did not even prepared lunch, those slackers ...

   
He saw Dean sitting on the couch, when he realized he arrived, looked at him with sad, and knew instantly was no longer angry with him. To see him so vulnerable was the effect of that it is to take the initiative to approach him.

   
"Hey," he said with a half smile, looking from above the couch.  
   
"Hey," Dean said, smiling and had a smile so sweet bello.e .. So different from the sneers that she would wear in recent days. It was again the Dean that he loved so much.  
   
She put her hand on his shoulder, touching as to comfort him, or let him know that he was there, Sam was not sure which. Perhaps both.  
   
Dean did not answer but not even rejected him and Sam stroked floor shoulder and traced with his finger the outlines of the neck, hearing thesis under his fingers.

   
"You're nervous ..."  
   
"A bit '..." Dean admitted wearily.  
   
"Why do not you relax?" Asked Sam, taking the floor to massage neck and Dean cocked his head, closing his eyes and sighing with relief.  
   
Sam felt that Dean was vulnerable, and he felt a little 'guilty, because he seemed to take advantage of it, but it got to this point in their relationship could no longer distinguish where began the correctness and incorrectness, right and wrong, the 'love addiction, love obsession, now had the nuisance of each other in a spiral that could not stop, and Sam was too tired to be able to object, and also Dean.

   
"You're really good," Dean said, while Sam was going to tickle the most sensitive points of the neck of Dean, trying to defuse the tension.  
   
Sam suddenly broke away and Dean thought he wanted to leave, then looked alarmed.  
   
Sam smiled: "I just want to change position and sit up next to you, with the sofa in split was a little 'uncomfortable."  
   
Dean let out a sigh of relief and smiled again, unable to hide the joy in them regain Sam next to him, and Sam could have been overwhelmed with happiness only to see Dean smile that way.  
   
"Turn stupid" she said, smiling, and Dean, docile as not seen for days and days, obeyed without a word, making sure that Sam could continue to massage the neck, and then dropped further down to massage his back plan, in small concentric circles.  
   
More than a massage, were turning into mild strokes. Sam rubbed shoulders quite decided, then down to stroke her arms, slowly, up and back down again.  
   
 He did the same procedure back. A little 'rubbing, a bit' the caressing, delicate as a silk ribbon. Dean was shivering in the attention.  
   
"Oh dean" Sam sighed.  
   
Dean put his head under that of Sam, in a semi-desperate gesture. Sam continued to stroke his sides and back, and then get to the hair, stroked it tenderly.  
   
"I'm going to go crazy" sighed Dean, semi-abandoned in the arms of Sam.  
   
"My fault?" Asked Sam floor, giving him a kiss on the head.  
   
Dean did not answer, he just tilt your head toward the face of Sam, back, and with a left hand to stroke his cheek, then leaned even more mouth near her.  
   
Sam, being sure that at that point it would have been rejected, it was decided, and zeroed the distance of those few centimeters between their lips.

   
He had supported the lips to Dean

And Dean had not retracted.

 

 

Sam, encouraged by that sweet surrender, began to give little kisses on the lips, and changing position to feel more comfortable, removed temporarily from the arms of Dean, to position themselves better; She kept him a hand on his knee and another went to stroke his cheek to kiss him recovering.  
   
 The kiss became more tender and languid. Dean felt completely overwhelmed by the taste of Sam, and it was abandoning that kiss, ricambiandolo with long sighs, and Sam won by tenderness, he put both hands on his face still muovergli fingers tenderly on the cheek as if accarezzandogliele It was the most precious thing that was touching.

   
Won by a desire then to hear it even closer, Sam salts astride on his legs and kiss the shooting. More passionate, more frantic. Sam continued to stroke her face as she kissed him and Dean stroked his back, and then ruffled his hair, both on the mouths gasping with excitement and emotion.  
   
And while both thought that time could not have been more perfect than this ... .. they heard a voice  
 

   
"DEAN! SAM!"  
   
It was the voice of Castiel, and both broke away from the mouth of the other terrified. Immediately Sam came down the legs of Dean and tried as Dean of ridarsi un'aggiustata, and composure, even though they knew very well both feel short of breath, out of breath, his face red, his hair uncombed, shirts all wrinkled and lips still buttons to kiss a little earlier.  
   
   
Castiel looked at them with a mixture of fear, misunderstanding, incredulity, and reproach ... .disgusto? likely.  
   
"What the hell were you doing?"  
   
"It seems clear, Sherlock. Obviously if I did not interrupted maybe things would be made even more interesting than that, "he said Crowley coming at that time.

 

Sam could not help himself escape a laugh, and Dean looked at him in consternation. How he could laugh now?

  
how can I laugh now? Sam thought. She felt hysteria montargli inside. He saw Dean staring at him stunned and wanted to laugh even more.

  
"You may know that you have to laugh about ????? Do you realize what you were doing ???? "Castiel replied that he was beginning to deteriorate.

  
"The best times of today, are the memories of tomorrow! You are a fairy tale, moose and squirrel, which is why I have taken all thanks to my hidden cameras that I secretly placed in the living room. "

  
Castiel, Sam and Dean looked at him aghast. Hidden cameras ???

  
"Hey, I could not miss this moment, as long as I'm waiting. Now that you think about it, it's over here? When you go away, I'll take the tape and I see myself that the minute I got lost, "said Crowley beaming. "

  
Sam had fallen to his knees, laughing openly now. Crowley had placed hidden cameras to capture their kiss. It was definitely too.

 

"Dean help me," Sam said, barely able to speak, won the hysteria that had become totally overwhelmed.  
   
"I'm here, Sam," Dean said, putting a hand on his shoulder and thinking that he had to leave immediately by those two crazy, even better, had to go away even dragging Sam.  
   
"I can not believe that all this time you have supported these two blasphemous! Is there no limit to destruction? There is no limit to hell on earth ??? "he said Castiel losing control  
   
"By the way, Sam, I want to compliment you on your excellent performance, although with a little 'training, I'm sure you can still improve" Crowley continued relentlessly.  
   
"Enough. Stop it both. Castiel And you're careful about what you say to me ... I do not care ma..non you dare insult Sam. and then you're the last one can speak of morality here, you have made of all colors, "said Dean angry, and Sam found herself to agree to the monster inside him roaring approval and called for the immediate exile Castiel more far as possible from Dean.

   
"But I have never been guilty of a crime so serious! What would they think if Mary and John .... "  
   
Ah - ah - ah never put in the middle of the parents "Crowley rebuked him with his finger, and seeing that Dean came forward, probably with the intention of beating Castiel.  
He tried to placate him "Good Dean, do not do the superman, batman already do, because you want them all?"

 

 

"What makes you most angry, Cas? Incest or the fact that Dean does not have any hope eh? "

  
They froze all of a sudden. Dean blanched and then became a strange purplish tinge. Crowley was speechless and Castiel looked stunned and confused.  
"Castiel, who is this?" Mumbled Dean

  
"Why do not you ask the genius? I do not know anything "Castiel replied, embarrassed and shocked."

  
"Why do not you admit to being in love with Dean?" Sam continued, even though he felt less secure in every word, given the reaction of Castiel.

  
Dean embarrassed even more. But Castiel replied: "What? But you're out of your mind. Out! Who put these ideas in your head ?? "

  
Sam made the mistake of watching from the Crowley.

  
"I do not believe it. Why would you do that ?? "he asked totally confused Castiel.

  
"Io..ecco ... seemed a bit 'too interested in the relationship between Sam and Dean ... morbidly here ... lately also looked quite ill Sam ... and so I thought that the trouble could have purely sentimental and personal."

  
Sam was getting a strange suspicion ...

 

"You also could ask! I was convinced that between you and Sam there was something !! "said Castiel  
   
Now it was the turn of Sam Crowley's embarrassed.  
   
"Oh come on ... the moose? Sometimes I made some joke, but I do not like davvero..io joke. I like to make him uncomfortable the alcetto. And I do not ever tear at his soul mate ... but then it's all a great misunderstanding ... but then why always looked bad Sam then? "

   
And Sam had the confirmation of what he thought  
   
   
Castiel turned away from everybody, babbling and gesturing: "I ... I need to rearrange ideas ..."  
 

   
"You say that your kiss has shaken?" Said Crowley, triumphantly.  
"Crowley are stupid," said Sam.  
"Oh that original sentence. Tell me something I do not know "  
   
"Cas is not in love with Dean! Cas is in love with you, "replied Sam

 

 

Crowley remained dazed without saying a word. As a phrase he did not know, he was pretty tough.

   
Dean was speechless "But we ended up in a damn soap opera?"  
   
"For this I looked bad, was not jealous of Dean, was jealous of you," Sam pointed out.  
   
Crowley continued to say nothing.  
   
"Davi me tips on how to deal with Dean, but you realized that Cas has not even got a crush, man," Sam said in a tone softened.  
   
Dean and Sam Crowley departed while still staring blankly in front of him without saying a word.  
   
 

   
"You think it's reciprocated? By Crowley, I mean "Dean asked cheerfully.

"Oh sure ... you had no reason to be mad at Cas, when he believed he was jealous of you ... at first I thought I hated him for solidarity, and instead now I understand," Sam chuckled.  
   
"And so you asked advice Crowley huh?" She teased Dean

"I missed having a little friend to confide in and you were elusive" Sam said teasing.  
Dean laughed.  
   
"Dean, we can not stay," said Sam, stopping moment of jokes.

"I know, we pack up and we'll go, but before you come here," she said, pulling him in for another kiss.

 

 

 

Sam and Dean knew that still remain to the bunker would be stressful after Castiel had seen them kiss, and then deciderono to get away for a while, 'for leave to cool off and give it time to metabolize all the former angel.  
   
"Do you think I will accept it?" Sam asked suddenly, while Dean was driving.  
   
He served only Sam would specify what he was talking: "Mm ... I think so, in the end, is a good angel after all, and then you'll see that Crowley will be convincing eh? "Dean added archly.  
   
"I still can not believe that we have movies" Sam exclaimed, laughing.  
   
"Is a fool," Dean added, with a laugh, "But I find most amazing is the fact that it passed on the good side, after we spent years fighting us." He added.  
   
"You think I can to show the movie to someone?" Sam asked sounding a bit 'worried.  
   
"A bobby, will, probably," said Dean let out a chuckle, but seeing that Sam looked at him in terror, he added, "Sooner or later they will have to meet him to know, especially if you live in close contact with us, and then I will not hide myself more with the people who love you, Sam, not for something so beautiful "  
   
Sam gave him an affectionate kiss on the cheek.  
   
"What am I, a dog?" Asked Dean annoyed.  
   
"You're driving, stupid," replied Sam, smiling.  
   
"Do I make you hear a song, I did put on so-called" Dean said suddenly.  
   
Sam looked at him curiously.  
   
Dean took the cd and it did start looking for the right song, and then said only: "Listen"

 

 

I'm lying alone with my head on the phone  
Thinking of you till it hurts  
I know you hurt too but what else can we do  
Tormented and torn apart

Sam was stunned, he thought he had already heard that song ...  
   
I wish I could carry your smile in my heart  
For times When my life Seems so low  
It would make me believe what tomorrow could bring  
When today does not really know, does not really know  
 

 

"Then? "Dean urged him, smiling, and vaguely worried in front of the doubt that Sam does not remember ...

"Dean ... is that song ... that time ... you were going to get to sing and I, I removed ... .All out of love .... . "Mumbled Sam (see supernatural 7 x 6: slash fiction)  
   
"Bravo Sammy, I see that you are attentive in school," Dean said with a smile. "You've been a bad boy Sammy, but this time you'll have to hear it all"

 

* I'm lying alone with my head on the phone, and I think of you until it hurts,  
   
I know you're hurt, but what else can we do? Tormented and destroyed  
   
I'd like to support your smile and my heart  
   
when my life seems so miserable  
   
I would make me believe what tomorrow may bring  
   
when today does not really know

[Chorus:]  
I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you  
I know you were right, believing for so long  
I'm all out of love, what am I without you  
I can not be too late to say I was so wrong

I want you to come back and carry me home  
Away from These long, lonely nights  
I'm reaching for you, are you feeling it too?  
Seem does the feeling oh, so right?

And what would you say if I called on you now  
And said That I can not hold on?  
There's no easy way, it gets harder each day  
Please love me or I'll be gone, I'll be gone

[Chorus]

Ooh, what are you thinking of  
What are you thinking of  
What are you thinking of  
what are you thinking of  
   
 

 

  
Sam heard the whole song with his head resting on the shoulder of Dean, and leaders instantly, from that song, that Dean loved him, but could not tell him.

   
"Dean, stop the car," he said suddenly.

"what? But Sam, we are in the street, I can not "  
   
"Please, find a rest and stop the car"  
   
And Dean, alarmed that something could have happened, Sam did as he asked, without asking for explanations.  
   
   
He stopped the car and then told him: "Now explain to me what ......"  
   
But he could not continue because Sam shut up with a sudden kiss, tender and passionate together, taking his face in his hands, and Dean then, while he was totally immersed in the kiss, still managed to press the rewind button to turn back the song from 'beginning, surprising as hell Sam. his brother left little gestures go so corny, but when he did it was very tender, and continued to kiss in the song "All Out of Love"

 

 


	15. Between hugs and jealous scenes

Sam and Dean had traveled all day, stopping only in the evening to eat a sandwich, and then leave. When they arrived at the motel they had chosen for the night, Dean exhausted from the long journey and all those emotions unforeseen slumped to bed without saying a word or even undress.  
   
Sam looked at him tenderly and kissed him on the head, then put himself in the same bed, which, for the first time, had ordered Double.  
   
 Sam was a strange feeling after all those years of sleep in two separate beds, and maybe that's why he was at some distance from his brother, or perhaps it was simply not to wake him, to let him sleep, or because he had warned a strange feeling of darkness linger for a while, leaving shivers ...  
   
It can not be ... after all we've been through ... no ... we deserve a little 'peace ...  
   
Sam thought to himself, and were his last thoughts before falling asleep ...

 

 _Thoughts of Dean .. ........._  
   
   
I wake up in the motel and the first thing I'm different from the other times, from all the motels I've been so far with Sam, you just see him sleeping in the same bed with me, for the first time double ...  
   
I seem to live in a parallel dimension, and I struggle to realize for a moment ...  
   
I watch him sleep ... this kind of wad overgrown, so this head full of hair in which sinks into the pillow, hiding her face, and I feel a tenderness so sore, that strapazzerei kisses.  
   
I think: "This is perhaps the fleeting love? Or rather, "this is the Love? This feeling so light and heavy at the same time?  
   
And why in this room it lacks a vase with flowers?  
   
It would have been perfect if there was a vase with flowers near the bed OUR ...  
   
I should ask Sam what his favorite flowers.  
   
I get up and I go to take a shower for not thinking about my stupid thoughts.

 

 

Sam woke up, or rather, the blinding light that radiated from the room, woke him. Immediately felt a sense of nervousness. Dean was not in bed with him. You felt a moment lost. Now he needed him as the air he breathed. He was aware of being becoming morbid, all right, it's just that it did not seem so bad.  
   
   
   
   
"Dean," he called loudly, hoping it was not in the bathroom and he came out, and in fact a voice said to him through the bathroom door:  
   
  "Sam ?? I'm taking a shower, two minutes and go out "

And then Sam began to relax.  
   
   
   
You're pathetic, you know? Stupid pathetic fool in love  
   
Sam thought smiling.

 

Sam calls me and I realize I adore the sound of her voice ... when I called, needing attention, or worried, anxious, frightened, in pain, pleading, or loving, kind, tender as he is ... and I realize I am ....  
to desire. I would take it at this time, do it my, look at him, chain him to me, do sigh of pleasure, let him scream my name and then tell me that he loves me ....  
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
A few minutes later, Dean came out wearing a white bathrobe, her wet hair, looking like the sun, and Sam was smiling at him enchanted.  
   
In the flash of a minute Dean was on him, grappling Sam, who found himself trapped under his grip.  
   
"Good morning, darling," she whispered softly Goddess, No kissing him on the lips, although it was another word that he wanted to say.  
   
Sam almost felt short of breath. "You called me darling?" She asked.

Dean bit his lip and smiling Sam feel a deep joy riscaldargli the bowels, and in a moment reversed positions and stood over Dean:  
"I love you so much," said Sam, giving him a passionate kiss on the mouth; Dean waited for him to say something, but he did not, and then asked him a bit 'sad:  
"Why can not you tell?"

 

 

Oh, Sam ... Sam ... .I look so with that expression so sad and I feel a monster. At the same time I wonder why ... because he can not be enough for the fact that I'm here with you now and you can have me anytime that you want ... you do not need promises like that ... Dean looked at him with that frustration, of anguish and rubbed his nose against hers, his lips against her lips, and then Sam said: "it does not matter, even if I did not say I know you love me," I retorted Sam quieter.

  
Dean said, changing the subject: "You know that this position could be dangerous?" She asked archly, and Sam in response rubbed even more against his body and Dean suppressed a scream:

  
"Little bastard, you want war?" And even reversed positions, ending up back on Sam.

  
"You're lucky that I wear boxers," Dean whispered in his ear, and Sam garments that was exciting, and was getting excited too.  
"Too bad," he tried to provoke him.

  
Dean as a challenge for the arms held above the head by Sam laughed nervously.

  
"I want to do it right now, are you?" She whispered still holding his arms raised above his head

  
"Now? Without even having breakfast? And your beloved pie? "Taunted again.

  
"Are you my cake," said Dean by raising the shirt, and Sam realized that was going to happen and almost shortness of breath with excitement. Dean began to kiss his chest, at first mild and delicate little kisses and then kisses became hotter, and began to have racked nipples and kiss his navel. "Dean," Sam gasped.

 

Suddenly the phone rang. It was to Dean.

  
"You must not respond to force," Sam tried to say between moans, and Dean would not actually do that, but insisted the phone and could be an important thing.  
"Sorry," he said, sitting up, and Sam had to suppress an insult to the phone.

  
"Who was that?" Asked Sam just ended the call slightly annoyed and a bit 'jealous.

  
"Jesse is our friend, the cop, remember?"  
"No" Sam minds a bit 'annoyed.

  
Dean sighed: "You want me to help him in a case ... apparently a case of sirens. It seems that at this point are no longer content to charm men, and order him to kill their women ... now kill men themselves after sexual intercourse "

  
"It seems more a case of praying mantis that siren" Sam said.

  
"Already…. So I would say go back into action, little brother. "

  
"Right now? Why not later? "Said Sam sulking.

"Hey, we have all the time for what we want, right? And it's not the most important thing, "Dean said looking at him with soft eyes and taking his face to kiss him, and Sam before that phrase seemed to melt like butter.

 

 

 

Later they appear before the police officer Jesse, who welcomed them warmly embracing them, asking how they were and then beginning to explain their case.  
"So we have six women, who are our suspect number 1. I'll show you the pictures.

  
Susan Stringer, sunrise Ratzinger, Martina kiuio, Milly fiji, Lucia Piutti, and Jessica Piroangelo. all beautiful girls, pretty libertine, and pretty nymphomaniacs. Change boyfriend as changing shoes, and also have a criminal record. I can not send a warrant to each of them for mere suspicions, but if you could investigate discreetly ... would you do me a big favor ... "

  
"Of course, this are friends for, right?" Sam asked Dean staring sideways, still looking at the pictures air hypnotized, and immediately felt a pang of jealousy incredible.

 

 

 

"Did you look carefully at those pictures?" He asked Sam when they were in the car unable to restrain.  
   
"What?" Asked Dean surprised affirmation of his brother.  
   
"I saw you particularly interested in the suspects' she said Sam treading on the word concerned.  
   
"Sam, but you're stupid?" Dean is annoyed.  
   
"Um ...." He said Sam feeling a bit ridiculous.

   
Dean relented and said, smiling: "Hey, do not be jealous, right? My interest is purely professional, I think I have already seen some of those girls somewhere, but I can not remember where, so I've seen a bit 'lost'  
   
It was not quite the truth. Actually Dean had immediately recognized the demoness Jessica, that he had had a brief affair with him, if ever, had not told a lie, and it was not really a demon, but a siren ....  
But how to tell Sam a thing? At the very least it would be over soon kill her, now Dean had rekindled feelings, and he hated the demons again, but it was still almost been one of them for a period, and with this being, as it were abominable, we had shared anyway something intimate, and was not sure he wants to kill as well as a dog.  
   
Sam seemed reassured by the response of Dean, and perhaps felt a little 'guilty for his scene ... which shamed even more Dean ... She's still secret, still lies ....

 

Visits to suspected proved somewhat embarrassing. All women dressed in skimpy clothes especially, Sam threw often to dirty looks as they all seemed eager to touch or try to Dean circuirlo with their blandishments.  
 Sometimes touching a knee or trying to make him clumsy caress on the cheek, and Dean, at least when he was sitting on the couch next to Sam, realizing his foul mood continued to hear the suspect on duty, but, from time to time the He shook hands, as if to reassure him that he was only in his heart.  
   
Sometimes though Sam looked really irritable and began to wander around the house in a bad mood ...

   
"What did his partner? It seems a bad mood .. "he said suddenly Milly Fuji.  
   
"He had a bad day. Quarrels with his girlfriend, he knows how these things go, "he said as Sam glared.

"Then, returning to the murders, you sure you did not hear anything?"

 

 

Once in the car, Sam was still in a foul mood.  
   
"Sam, are you still angry?"  
   
Sam did not answer.  
   
"Sam, tell me," Dean sighed.  
   
"You said the chick I had a fight with his girlfriend"  
   
"Well I told the truth," smiled Dean  
   
Sam felt dissolve perhaps for the second time that day. Had misheard or Dean had just said that they were engaged? He tried unsuccessfully to control the facial muscles, but a smile on his lips sagged however, treacherously and Dean clearly noticed. Damn mouth! But Sam did not want to give in.

   
"It's just that I do not like how you touch, and how do the simpering" Sam did not like the tone of hysterical jealous girlfriend who came out. How did Dean to turn it into a hysterical little girl?  
   
"They are the dancers, what did you expect? It is their job to try to circumvent the people, and then do not have to be jealous, you know that I am yours and yours alone "  
   
Sam smiled at the sentence and accocolò closer to Dean.  
   
"If you touch even with a finger, the bite my hands," he whispered, and Dean felt a rush of infinite sweetness. Dean looked Sam and thought: 

It is not maybe tender and very old and tender so much? 

 

 

 

It lacked only a visit, the famous Jessica ... but it was too late, and Sam and Dean agreed to go there the next day, and Dean was glad, because so had plenty of time to try to readjust the huge disaster that was about to perform with his incomprehensible lie.

  
Sam would prepare once at home. She would tell him everything and together they decided what to do. But fate has other plans ... as always. and once at home, while Sam was in the shower, the phone rang at Dean ... it was a message.

 

 **I know the investigations that are making you and your dear brother.**  
Yes, I know Sam.  
If you want to talk, come alone.  
-Jessica

 

 

 ****  
Dean was a lot of fighting. If you do not want to lie to, but at this point he could not tell the truth at this time. Would put him in danger, so he invented an excuse ... she told him he had to go and buy things to eat and left. In his haste he forgot the phone on the bed.  
When he realized the huge mistake he had just done, he had done a little 'street. He stopped the car and called an idiot alone. Sam would see the phone and he would try to follow him.

  
Breed of idiot until the last stage!

  
He found himself fighting for about five minutes, then he decided to back off. Sam was more important than the stupid demon. He had to go back, explain everything. Maybe he would understand.

  
When he returned, Sam was gone, of course. He called idiot twice. He would have to take him! He should never have let it alone. Because everything always wrong?  
He approached the bed where there was still the phone and found a new message:

 

**I knew you'd come back. You're a good brother.**

**  
I look at the Night "Two stars"**

**  
With Sammy.**

 

Dean felt tears in my eyes ... if that bitch would hurt Sam ... .not should never have let her go ... when he was a half-demon would have to stab anyway ... .because he had not?  
   
   
It would not make another mistake. With the cell tried to call Jesse, but he was unreachable, then he left a message asking him to join him as soon as possible.  
   
  Then continue to the fucking night.


	16. I can tell you that every time I can choose, always choose you!

He arrived at night with the breath ... still no trace of Jesse, and he had an idea that would have to go it alone. Sam came in and began searching at breakneck speed, up and back down the escalator, when he came another message:  
   
We are in the East Wing, last door on the right. It will be better for you that you came alone ...  
And for Sammy.  
   
   
Dean came in the east wing and ran up to the last door on the right. Just open the door he saw in the twilight, two figures. Sam and Jessica.  
 

"Hello Dean."  
"Jessica" Dean replied with a contemptuous look.  
    
"I'm glad to see you're back human, you were so unhappy because of your lost humanity. Ops but do not look so happy even now, are you Dean? "  
   
"Dean, you know this ...?"  
   
"Schhh" whispered the demon, threatening him with a knife at his throat.  
   
 "You know, it was a surprise to me that you were human again, but nothing was as surprising to discover that you had a newly found love, huh Sammy?" He said the demon giving him a slight shove, winking.  
   
"As dean as a lover? I think that you can give top marks ... you say? And to think that say so much to us demons, even when humans do not go light with peccadilloes "  
   
"How do you know about Sam?" Dean asked desperately. If the other demons had heard of them, Sam would have no peace with him.  
   
"I saw you .. You should be more careful with the effusions in public" chuckled the demon. "And then I started to kill a bit 'of people fitting this case the sirens, I knew you'd taken the bait, Dean" languid said the demon.  
   
"So you were you !!" Dean said, baffled and angry. "And you did all of this to talk to me? You were my number if you wanted to ask me something! "  
   
"Oh yeah, because you would have agreed to speak again with a demon? Do me a favor ... "  
   
"I've had enough. Whatever it is, let it be Sam, he has nothing to do. "  
   
"You'd do anything for your dear brother, do not you? Also come away with me? "He asked the languid demon.  
   
Dean remained dazed.  
   
"Dean did not do it!" Shouted Sam.  
   
"Schhhh" ordered him again the demon.  
   
   
"I advise you to accept my proposal, Dean, think ... you were happier when they were about to turn into a demon? No more stupid guilt, thoughts that make you feel bad, memories that make you suffer, a force inimmaginabile..te the memories, right? "  
   
"Stop, stop, do not attack me with such talk"  
   
"Not to mention your sweet little brother Sammy. Currency alternatives: what will happen if you continue your relationship sinful? At best you will live happily ever after, until slowly each daemon will be to find out of your relationship, and you will hunt. It will use Sam to hit you ... and how long will it be before we escape the dead? You can not protect him forever, not to mention when the rumor spread among the angels "  
   
"Dean did not listen," cried Sam.  
   
Dean looked like someone who had just been run over by a truck.  
   
"Or there will be no angels or demons to separate you but yourself. Think about it, Dean, how long you can go on a report of this kind? Days? Weeks? Months? You are a playboy, never stop loving women and Sammy knows, is not it? "He said treacherous, while Sam tried not to look at her.

   
"The jealousy will continue, so you know it's my sweet Sammy," he continued taking his chin in his hands, "and you can not help it. Nothing at all. You will continue to fight again and again, until you will find your dear brother in bed with some bartender sinuous, and hate. You hate you both so passing from love to hate and hate yourself even indirectly. "

 

Sam had begun to cry, and Dean was just too much. Taking advantage of the distraction of the demon, who had turned to look at Sam, he fired a shot in the forehead.  
   
Immediately he staggered letting go of Sam, but Dean knew it was not enough. She threw him against the holy water that he had hidden in his jacket and began to scream and squirm, then pulled out a knife and stabbed again again and again until he had calmed down, or rather, until you hear the sobs Sam ... then he decided to stop, shocked by his tears.  
   
   
I watch. Tears were streaking her face. and he immediately let go of the knife and embraced him.  
   
It was discovered that Jesse was hiding in a closet in one of the doors close to where they had just fought. Dean was happy about that, otherwise he would have heard what the demon said, not that he had much importance for now she could think of Jesse ... both Sam and Dean were distorted by emotion for what he had told them the demon.  
   
Jesse after telling that he had been called by Sam first, and Dean had not received the message in time because it had already been captured, bother to call a patrol to take the body and calm Sam and Dean that he would so that there would be investigations on them. The killer had been taken, had tried to take hostages with him, and Dean hero that he was, had reacted, and fighting the killer was dead. It would have been difficult to explain the holy water on the ground, but he would find a solution.

   
   
"I do not know how to thank you for what you have done, guys, but you seem a little 'upset, I thought you were accustomed to these things," he said looking at them.  
   
"The fact is that bitch has battered a bit ', or rather has scrambled Sam, you know what they look like these fucking demons" Dean said.  
   
And Jesse said yes, that he knew it, and said that he needed to go for a drink to recover from the shock of having been bound and gagged in a fucking closet by a demon, and also advised to Sam and Dean try to relax before to leave.

 

Dean had less desire than ever to remain in that place and could not wait to leave, as well as Sam. Both were destroyed by the words of the demon. ... Dean was destroyed from the future who had expected the demon in regard to see Sam in danger, and Sam was miserable at the thought of not being able to be enough for Dean.

   
   
Perhaps it was for this that when he approached a stripper half-undressed and tried to kiss him, Dean did not have the power to reject it. He stood to suffer the kiss them in front of Sam, who had to watch that scene, helpless and motionless as a block of concrete, and Dean could not do anything but stand still, and the tears began to wet his face but still not He sent her away.  
Sam tried to leave and get away from the two of them, but Dean still with eyes closed intercepted the move Sam and pulled the arm to not make it go away, and Sam wounded as never before, he could not believe it.  
He could not react for a moment, then he picked up somehow the strength to break free and fled running.  
   
And Dean, when she saw him run away, he withdrew immediately from the stripper, taking after him, unable to comprehend what he had just done.

 

Exit out of the night finding Sam nearby. He was shot from behind and wiped his eyes with the back of his hand and he suddenly felt a violent motion of shame.

"Sam, please do not do so, it breaks my heart, I was a jerk okay? I was devastated, I do not know what came over me. "  
   
Sam shook his head floor.  
   
"Please do not let the words of that bitch ruin our relationship. You must not believe what he said. "  
   
Sam looked at him angrily: "What do I trust, Dean, which are not enough for you? How much are you willing to risk for me?"  
   
"Sam, please do not do so. "  
   
"I do not know what am I to you, why do not you tell me."  
   
"Sam, I can not believe that you need this. I'm here, I'm with you, and I will never leave. Not enough? "  
   
"No, not enough for me, because I could not bear that one day you will not be able to withstand all this tension, and leave me. I could not stand it, "cried Sam.  
   
Dean stood there motionless, shocked by the revelation of Sam of his greatest fear.  
   
"Sam, I promise I will not let you EVER. Never. You have to trust me, please, "she said brokenly.  
   
"I can not know," Sam said, turning his face away and taking a walk.  
   
   
   
Dean caught a glimpse of himself in three years, approached the cradle of Sam and gave him a basin, then went to his mother and said: Mom, thank you for giving me the little brother, I'm so so happy "yet somehow so he could mortify even this, to throw it all away for nothing.  
   
He took a few steps toward him.  
 "Sam, we, we are Sam and Dean, remember? We can not be divided, it is like trying to snatch the stars at night, "he said, taking to cry. "Please do not leave me."  
   
Sam paused for a moment without looking back, and he understood that she was crying.  
"Sam"?  
   
Suddenly Sam turned around, went to him and put his face to that of Dean, the hot and wet cheek against his, and for a moment of pure joy he thought he was going to forgive him.  
   
"You can not tell me that you love me, Dean, and you know why you can not do? Why is not it "and walked away saying so and Dean felt his heart shatter into many small pieces, and make a bad dog.  
   
"I prepare my things, ..me will go away tonight," he said, still walking.  
   
   
   
Sam apologizes, I had no choice.  
Bullshit, there is always a choice.  
I'm sorry, Sam, I'm a jerk.

 

 

 

Back to the motel destroyed, each with their own pain, unable to say anything. Sam quietly began to put his things in his suitcase, angrily throwing inside.

  
Dean could not understand what was happening. He is bursting head and wanted only to tie Sam to bed to prevent him from leaving.

  
"You can not wait to leave it?" He asked mournfully.

  
Sam continued to hit her stuff without saying anything.

  
He continued tinkering with the suitcase for a few minutes, occasionally wiping his face trying to avoid being seen crying, while Dean also sought to play down the sobs that threatened to overwhelm him.

  
Arrived at the time when Sam was about to open the door carrying the suitcase, Dean decided to stop it.  
"Sam, wait a minute." She told him.

  
Sam sighed.

  
"There ... there are things you need to know before," Dean said with a trembling voice.

  
"Dean, do not do it, okay? Do not make it all the more heartbreaking. "

  
Dean pushed him against the wall to force him to back away from the damn door. "I told you to wait a fucking time, you owe me."  
Sam sighed and waited.

  
"When I heard that song, All out of love, in the car, for the first time, I found her wonderful ..."

  
** See supernatural 7 x 6: slash fiction)

 

Sam narrowed his eyes, not knowing where he was going with his brother. Everything could be expected, but not this.

  
"It made me want to sing it, right away, and I looked at you, and I felt so uncomfortable to hear that song with you present them next to me, because ... .parlava of love, and .inconsciamente made me think of you , that song, it's just that I did not want to admit it to myself "

  
"Dean ... God ... if I tell you that was the same for me? I had to take it off because I felt too uncomfortable, but did not understand why ... "

  
Dean licked his lips. "Sam, I ... .stanotte ... thou hast touched his arm"

  
And to say that Sam had done everything to try not to wake him, to let him sleep.

  
"I do not…"

  
"It made me feel alive"

  
Sam sighed. "Dean, I do not know what you're trying to do, but ...."

  
"Listen to me! "Dean said, touching his face. "You probably think I hate the fact that we are brothers, I hate every moment of it"  
"Is it not so?" Asked Sam resumed and new tears to flow down her cheeks.

  
"No. Sam ... .I am proud that you're my brother ... I could never be ashamed of you, Sam. I when you were still in the cradle, I went to our mother to thank her for what she had done, for giving me a brother, for giving me you "

  
"Stop it, stop it," replied Sam.

 

"You know what I thought when I saw you for the first time in the nursery? I thought I had a brother, my brother, MY. You know Sam? even at that age I knew that it did not matter what would happen in the future, how many relationships I had, we'd always been the one for the other, I am thankful to have been able to grow with you ..  
 you would have been always my brother, and ... hey, you want to know how what? It is not so bad, "he said, touching his chin.  
   
"Dean ..."  
   
"But this sense of belonging, that we feel for each other, not only brotherhood, Sam, you know you and I know it too, only I did not want to accept it, too scared me, scared me. "  
   
"Dean, why will not you accept that it's over?" He asked, picking up crying.  
   
And Dean whispered in his ear: "why are you that you asked me not to do it ever end"  
   
And Sam was so moved by that statement that stroked his cheek and Dean encouraged by this gesture of tenderness, he stepped forward and whispered over his mouth: "And I can tell you that every time I can choose, always choose you" and kissed him .  
   
Sam pushed him away, Dean pulled away only a moment to whisper again on the mouth "I love Sam"  
   
And Sam lips trembled and sought again his.  
   
"Tell me you love me too still, tell me that you forgive me" asked Dean.  
   
"I love you Dean, I love you so much," she replied Sam continuing to kiss passionately.  
   
As they kissed they kept moving from side to side, until it ended almost sinking both on the bed.  
   
"Make love to me, brother," he whispered Dean  
   
"Yes," said Sam moaning just between her lips.  
   
Dean moved it a little 'more in there and sat down between her legs, continuing to stroke his hair gently, and wiping tears. He was smiling now.

 

i promise that I'll never make you cry" she said, and both Dean and Sam thought that perhaps such a statement Dean had not made even a woman.  
   
Sam and Dean undressed each other. Dean took off his shirt and jeans Sam and Sam did the same with her.  
   
Sam went to touch the tattoo anti possession of Dean with one hand and with the other touched her. And Dean smiled.  
   
"I always found it ridiculous and a bit 'pathetic the couples who make tattoos together"

"But we're not Sam and Dean? We are a couple BEAUTIFUL ... Sam and Dean ... "Sam said.

"Sam and Dean ... like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers," Dean said, chuckling and Sam laughed reflection.  
   
Then Dean went back to look into his eyes and stroking the strands of hair, cheeks, and then she whispered, kissing him: "You are the love of my life, Sam" and Sam shuddered and then wept with emotion.  
   
Dean continued caress and cuddle him until he stopped, and then whispered:  
"Look, I want you to look at me, I promise I will not hurt," he said, and Sam knew what he meant, and he said: "I know, Dean"  
   
Then they made love. It was different from when he made love with Dean when he was half demon. Dean was always first, and still felt love, but he also felt his skin, cold, his despair, the life that was dying out, and everything was wonderful, because the love of Dean and his body were something incredible, not to mention the feelings they felt for each other. But now ... it was even better, from human skin ... Dean was warm, almost hot, his hands had gained strength, and heat but also delicacy and care, his touch was gentle as silk, yet possessive and exciting . His mouth was warm and enveloping. And his body was warm, quivering, live, and it was his ....

 

Actually Sam had a little 'fear of feeling pain, but Dean was the word ... when the time came, it was sweet, delicate, he gave Sam time to adjust. Dean saw Sam tighten the sheet and asked him if he felt pain worried, and he said no, although a little bit it was inevitable that you portray, but it was only a moment, and then was submerged by a pleasure enveloping.

Dean was passionate, it was sweet, was impetuous, but delicate, and would not stop kissing him and pet him.  
  They made love slowly ... to savor every single moment. At first they said their names, each other panting, but then stayed silent, letting out only groans and sighs, because they felt both close to ecstasy and could not talk ... ..

  
   
  
   
  
   
  
   
  
 

 

 


	17. Where were you?

For most of the night Dean kept asking Sam: "I forgive?" Between a kiss and another, and after a while Sam 'told him, "If you ask me one more time ..." but he was smiling, and end said, "Yes, I forgive you."  
   
   
The next morning, Sam woke up, turned his head away and practically glued to him was Dean hugging him, his head hidden sinking under the covers on the chest of Sam.  
   
Sam turned to Dean with difficulty, to look at him and smiled tenderly. He liked to feel the weight of Dean on him, and even more he liked to feel his hands that held him possessive and who cradled tenderly.  
   
 It was nice, it was relaxing ... he felt safe, felt loved ...  
   
He had no idea that sleep near or embraced his brother was so wonderful, otherwise he would not have expected so much to do ... but already imagined tell Dean:  
   
"Dean feel, I feel lonely, I could not sleep in your bed only for tonight? And while you're at it you might as well embrace ... and imagine Dean say like, "Sam, but you're stupid?"  
   
 was unable to hold back a chuckle and seized by a sudden tenderly stroked his hair, and then gave him little kisses on the head as far as the iron grip of Dean would allow him to duck.  
   
Dean moaned like a cat purring and raised his head slightly to look at Sam.  
   
"Day" smiled.

"Day," said Sam back. "I knew I had a koala as a brother, I've been stuck all night," she smiled.  
   
Dean moved a little to Sam stretched "Sammy's your fault, you're the one who wants to cuddle after sex, as the girls, and I like a good brother you can live with," he said riattirandolo him.  
   
"Mmm that caring brother I have," Sam said, hugging him in turn.  
   
The faces facing each other very close, Dean moaned "Sammy, you can never break away from me, something terrible could happen to you, a werewolf could get out from under the bed, or a siren might go out the window and kidnap you, the 'only way to keep safe is Starmie glued like a magnet, I do it for your own good, "Dean said with a confident air, stroking his cheek.  
   
Sam replied: "You know, I think that actually feel quite a serious form of obstruction of the mouth. I could die for lack of oxygen, if not resume immediately to kiss me in fact. "  
   
"For real? Well then I just know that I have to kiss you, I can not have you on my conscience, mmmmm. "Dean said recovering to kiss him.  
   
"Mmmmm," Sam said sighing softly.  
   
 

  
   
Sam asked me to kiss him, and I do it without thinking twice ... now will have been the duecentomilionesima time you kiss and still you are not sick, you know?  
   
   
I find in him the scratch card on the back with his shot from behind lying, emitting sighs of sweet and understand to be idiot. Dean idiot.  
The truth is that I like to cuddle, crazy, it was also to hear those sweet sighs, and I do not know if the little darlings with Sam are even better than sex, but for sure we will go by.  
 

    
"Why do I become an old sentimental pathetic, Sam?" I ask him recovering to hug him, bowing his head on his neck.  
   
   
   
   
At breakfast I realize that many turn to stare. perhaps the love that transpires between us is read from outside, who knows. I keep looking at Sam and smiled. maybe it will be an attack of diabetes, but not now. later I'll think. Sam instead continues to look around and looks vaguely alarmed.  
   
"That they all looking at?" Whispers annoyed.  
   
"We have always believed gay" I say, chuckling.  
   
He mutters something unintelligible against the doddering old gossips.

 

 

"Let them lose, are frustrated old men, how about shock them a little 'more?" I tell him, and I put a piece of strawberry cake in my mouth and then I step forward to eating it on the mouth of Sam ..  
   
Sam is embarrassed as hell, but it not retracts and is not exempt from that operation.  
   
   
  "Mmm delicious. Indeed delicious, "I say, I ripulendomi the mouth ..  
   
"You're out of your mind, you're a lunatic. What about my brother? "He asked Sam visibly embarrassed, hastily wiping the crumbs of cake on the face and mouth.

   
"You've turned into an old fool, and then this was a teaching YOUR. Remember? "I make this.  
   
And Sam smiles and looks down. I love it when it's the timid. Perhaps in a parallel universe, where we're not even brothers, I would be the most timid of the two ... and Sammy the most exuberant, but in this universe like too his shyness.

 

 

*  
    
"So, to what has increased the degree of imbecility squirrel under your expert hands, Sam? I'm curious, "said Crowley on the phone  
   
"You called me just to ask me that? You're an idiot. However're writing right now, "Sam laughed, talking softly.  
   
"A love letter !!! What tender! "She laughed Crowley.  
   
"Stop it, maybe this is serious!"  
   
"Maybe he wants to say good-bye!" Crowley announced as if he had said that he had just won the lottery.  
   
"Fuck you," said Sam back, laughing.  
   
 "Always so sweet ... when you get to the bunker, anyway?" Said Crowley.

Sam frowned, "Do not tell me that you feel our lack" laughed Sam  
   
"But it should be! What are you saying! Is that Castiel can not cook and does a disaster after another, and then miss someone who does the cleaning, when I was the king of hell I had servants who did it for me ... I had to recycle my old apron "  
   
Castiel was dusting the radiator with an old quilt and the sentence of Crowley on the apron looked apron he was wearing and took it off quickly embarrassed. Crowley laughed quietly.  
   
"You're even more pathetic when you fire this shit" the shooting Sam laughing  
   
"Castiel it softens" Crowley replied bitterly.  
   
"About how it goes between you?"  
   
"Hum ... well ... really ..." Crowley left the sentence unfinished, stopping to look at Castiel boxer that made him a sign to cut his head.  
   
"You can not talk because you are threatening" Sam laughed.  
   
Castiel took the phone out of the hands of Crowley who launched into a hilarious parody of Sam when he thought he heard the words: "Wait treasure, not what you think"  
   
"Sam," said Castiel trying not to let the amused tone.  
   
"Castiel" Sam said, in a conciliatory tone and a half amused, unsure if his friend was now well disposed towards them, but seemed relaxed.  
   
"Pass Dean" Sam said, and only a bit 'puzzled Dean interrupted by his literary frenzy to pass the phone.  
   
"I'm sorry curb your poetic vein, but Castiel wants to talk to you"  
   
Dean reluctantly stopped fiddling with the pen.  
   
"Cas?" Dean asked, a little 'uncertain whether or not the friend had put aside their weapons.  
   
"Dean, these two are dangerous, we would do well to keep an eye on," said Castiel  
   
"What do you mean?" Dean asked a bit 'puzzled  
   
"I caught a message Crowey sent Sam wrote: * I want to know all the details *

 I thought you should know, "said Castiel looking Crowley comiciò to look around.  
   
Dean was totally stunned, and looked at Sam who said quickly: "I swear that I have not answered"  
   
"I just wanted you to know," said Castiel vengeful, with a mischievous smile.  
   
"Thanks Cas, you're a friend, I'll use it," Dean said putting the phone down  
   
Dean turned to look at Sam who looked into the void, undecided whether to laugh or run away.  
   
"Falling in trance will not save you from my vengeance," Dean said with a mischievous smile  
   
"Look, Dean, you know how that crazy. Do I think that I would go to tell .... Help! "Said Sam, running away.

 

 

Some time later ........

 

 

Dean, please wake up, "Sam slapped him.  
   
They were inside a cave to shelter from a snowstorm. They were both shivering and covered with scratches and cuts all over his body, because of a fight against the demons.  
   
Dean's body was becoming cold and Sam kept calling him in the hope that Dean did not fall asleep.  
   
"Sam ..." his voice little more than a whisper.  
   
"Do not fall asleep! "Sam said, continuing to give slaps on the cheeks and starting to feel hot tears roll down his cheeks.  
   
"Sam, escapes .... Please"  
   
"Castiel, Castiel!" Shouted desperate Sam. Now that Castiel had returned an angel, he would find them for sure.  
   
"Arrives, Sam, is fighting against the Angels, will not let you come and save us"  
   
"Then Bobby, Bobby ...." Sam said, taking the phone  
   
"Is a month that does not speak since he knew us," Dean snorted bitter  
   
Sam did not want to listen. It was their only hope  
   
Driiiiinnnnn  
   
Driiiinnnnn  
   
Driiinnnnnn  
   
   
Bobby took almost a shock when he saw flashing on the display of his phone number Sam. It was a month since I felt the boys, since he had found out about their relationship ... and now .... Why be heard now? Bobby did not want to answer, because despite how wrong it was deemed that their relationship, and the last words he had told them were Mary and John would turn in his grave if they knew about this, Bobby knew, however, that all its intentions to remove them, they would have melted like snow in the sun, if only he had suffered their voices.  
It was one of the reasons why he tried to stay away. They were his children and loved them nonetheless. He did not believe he could ever stop loving them.  
   
And now this phone call ... Bobby was tempted not to answer and keep them on tenterhooks for a while ', but the strange ringing that call seemed urgent ... ... as far as you could define a ringing urgent ... were not all the same ringing call ? Yet Bobby warned a strange sense of panic seize him, and replied instinctively.

   
   
"Hello, Sam?" Bobby asked a little 'uncertain.  
   
"Bobby, thank goodness!" Sam said with a sigh of relief. "You have to come here right away!"  
   
"Sam, I told you it was better to be a bit '..." Bobby had not escaped the alarm Sam but he still had some hesitancy  
   
"Please!" Said Sam in a desperate beginning to cry.  
   
Now Bobby began to sweat cold. "What the hell happened? Where is Dean? "  
   
"It's bad, it's freezing, and I can not take him out, I can not track down Bobby Castiel ... help us, please!"  
   
"That's enough, now tell me where you are!" Urged him Bobby agitated. He did not expect to hear Sam crying and began to panic.  
   
 Sam gave him the right directions and then crouched to Dean. "Dean hold on, hold on, Bobby is coming to pick us up, I told you that there would be abandoned"  
   
"Sam, I ... I'm sorry ..."  
   
"What?" Sam asked, continuing to stroke.  
   
"You did not want to live this life. You fought for years against this, and I've forced you .... "  
   
"Schhhh not be silly, Dean. it's true, I did not want it, but you do, and I could not leave you. I could not let you go through this alone, my fate is tied to yours, you know "  
   
"Yeah, because quell'egoista your brother did not want to do it alone," Dean said, and a tear fell from his eye.  
   
"No, Dean, perhaps in part has to do that too, but forget the most important thing. I did not want to be alone. I needed my brother. "Sam said, stroking the cheeks  
   
"Sam ...."  
   
"Did not I ever tell you, but I suffered so much when you're gone for a year, and I did not know you were in purgatory ... .credevo going crazy," she said giving him a kiss on the lips  
   
"Sam, I know ..."  
   
"What I thought of going crazy?"  
   
"No ... I know it's not true that I have tried ... I know that you have tried everything to find me, and you were desperate, confused and with a broken heart ...."  
   
Sam began to cry. "How did you do…?"  
   
Your blood Sam, in my ... has given me the knowledge of those months, "Dean said putting a hand on his chest and putting Sam's hand on his.  
   
"Forgive me, but how could I tell you? How did I even get this shit on me? I did not can. I have not thought about how I could suffer from the fact that I thought that I had not tried, "he said crying resting his head on his chest  
   
"No matter, my love. No matter, is passed. We're together now, "she said Dean stroking his hair.  
   
   
   
   
   
   
When Bobby came, he saw the two brothers slumped to one another and immediately took a shot.

"SAM! DEAN! "

 

 

*  
When Sam woke up, he knew was in the hospital.

  
Fortunately he was wearing or drip tubes that prevented him to get out of bed, and then tried to leave the room but Bobby stopped him.

  
"Hey, hey, where are you going" asked Bobby who was out of the room, rejecting it back.

  
"Dean !! how are you?? I want to see it!"

  
"Are you crazy?? Doctors are not even sure that you are truly alive, when you have begun to breathe three of them shouted "miracle" and converted, "she said Bobby surrounding it from behind, otherwise it would fall to Sam as he staggered

  
"Bobby, my clothes ... help me ...."  
"Of course I'll help, risbattendoti to bed! this time do not count on me for your follies. Or go back and lie down or sound the alarm warning you! "

  
"T - please ...."

  
"NO. And when I say no is ... .. "

  
Sam had tears in his eyes and looked at him imploringly.

  
"Yes. Curse you and me, I croak on me and I end up on trial! It rears its head, does not stumble, trying to be nonchalant "Bobby told him, and accompanied him in the corridors holding his arm.

  
As they walked, Sam suddenly fell to the ground like a sack of potatoes.

  
"Oh my god, but the boy needs ..." began a nurse

  
"In a lot of beating. Those who took not been enough, "said Bobby approached for help.

  
But Sam said, "let me! I do it alone ... alone ... "and walked on.

  
Dean came to the room, flung himself inside.

  
"Dean," she murmured, stroking his cheek

  
"Sam," he said thickly. "... You look like shit, you know?"

  
"You should see your" took it back Sam.

  
Dean clapped a hand on the bed, to encourage him to lie down next to him and Sam did.

  
He felt the skin of Dean back warm under his fingers and breathed a sigh of relief.

  
"You should not have to get up, you're in bad shape," Dean took it back.

  
"You are tanned worse than me ... and this is the only place I want to be" the shooting Sam abbracciandogli head.  
"In the hospital? That strange tastes you Sammy "

  
"Idiot," Sam said, smiling, giving basins on their heads.

  
"... I thought that we would not come out alive this time ... how did we ...." Dean began.  
"Bobby ..." said Sam only

  
"Already…. I should have known ... that old grouch saved our skin, "Dean smiled"  
"And Cas? How is he?" He asked again.

  
At that moment Bobby.

  
"Bobby, how's Cas?" Sam asked a bit 'apprehensive.

  
"Crowley is looking after him," Bobby said, trying not to let emotions got the upper watching.  
A nurse came in to say that Sam had to leave to rest Dean.

  
Dean interjected complaining: "No, I want my brother to stay here" and squeezed more of him.

  
The nurse looked puzzled Bobby, saying it was against the rules but Bobby said that the presence of Sam would accelerate the healing process of Dean and then that went away  
Bobby was puzzled to see that the nurse did not ask questions or not she was aware of the special bond between Sam and Dean, but then he himself had noticed until it was made clear right and just in him schiaffarono face. Maybe it was due to the fact that they were brothers and so the people took their gestures and their hugs as innocent, even more so because they do not hold to also pamper yourself in front of people.

  
"How are you Dean?" Bobby asked.

  
"I've been better, but I'm not dying, and Sam is here with me. It could have been worse. "

  
"You have to be more careful. Promise me you will do it and I did not do more to take a cuddly like "Bobby said as he was about to leave, but Dean tratenne arm.  
"What?" Bobby asked surprised.

  
"You promised that you would not have ever left, but you are gone for a fucking month," said Dean sad.  
Bobby felt again sad and guilty, "I'm sorry"

  
"Promise you will not do it again. We need you, Bobby, we no longer have any "

  
Bobby feel the emotion overwhelm him and gave Dean a kiss on the forehead, stroking his back.  
"Forgive me if I was not there, I will not leave again."

  
Sam looked at him, and Bobby leaned on him doing the same thing.

  
"But how did you two idiots to survive without me, when I was in hell?" Bobby asked out smiling, and Sam and Dean rimandarono a brief smile.  
Bobby just closed the door of the room lingered for a few minutes to look through the glass ...

  
Sam crouched closer to Dean and continued to stroke him and whisper sweet nothings ... and he, Dean. accepting every caress, docile, without moving.

  
Diosanto, with all he had done for those guys, this thing was really something big to swallow this time. The were asking a lot.

  
Yet to see them so, so sweet and tender huddled together, if God were sweet those two little bastards.

  
He found himself thinking that if something like that had that level of beauty, should not then be so much wrong.  
He loved those kids, and how if she loved them.

  
He had threatened to have died with the last memory I had of him, that they had rejected, which had abandoned them, denied. How could she do it?

  
But he wanted to fix it. If not to lose them, had to accept their relationship, he would have done, and indeed it was Bobby Singer, that had survived hell. NOTHING after the hell more he could scratch it. He began to think of a smile, that after him, Sam and Dean had tried all three of the experience of hell and it had come out, and this is one of those typical things that unites you forever, poffarbacco.

  
And since now Dean seemed better, it was time for him to return to the bunker to control those two idiots Castiel and Crowley. The last time he'd checked, Castiel was abandoned to the care of Crowley that he had his own way to cure it. She filled him with jokes tormenting him, probably to try to distract him from the pain and suffered from the aggression. Bobby thought to understand Crowley thought that playing sull'autoironia irritate someone was doing an excellent remedy to not let him leave to depression.  
He hoped, however, that Crowley strapazzasse too that other poor Castiel .. but that had become now that bunker? A nursery?

  
  
   
  
   
  
   
  
   
  
 

 

 


	18. Readme first part

"Only you could think of going to the SEA at night, Dean," Sam said while Dean was driving.

"We are the Winchesters, Sam. remember? We never do the normal things, "Dean said laughing.

Sam looked puzzled

"And then we of the road, so I thought we could stop ... I do not know, looking at the stars, swim maybe ... I always dreamed of being a midnight swim"  
   
Sam said nothing and a little strange. How long it was that it did not go to sea? Perhaps since they were small.  
   
"Wait, It will not be a romantic thing?.. ...." Sam said languidly, kissing his neck.  
   
"Thing? Of course not, "Dean said.  
   
Sam looked at him suspiciously  
   
"I said no. I just want to take a bath in the sea. I also took the costumes "  
   
"You TAKEN costumes?"  
   
"And the towels"  
   
"Dean, I do not give to drink, you're up to something," said Sam.  
   
"If you like to think so ..."  
   
 

A few minutes later Sam and Dean got out of the car and entered the beach.  
   
It was pitch dark and there was a ladder to get down, so they had to get off the cliff trying to be careful not to trip and fall.  
 Dean worried that Sam got hurt, instinctively moved his hand trying to Sam and took it gently. Sam turned a bit 'dazed, surprised both the gesture of Dean that the delicacy he used. The gesture was fraternal, but the sweetness was used typical romantic lovers. She left him pleasantly shocked tenderness.

   
   
When they arrived on the beach Dean told him to wait there a minute. He did not like the idea of leaving Sam alone, but much would come immediately. And then what would happen? Certainly no monster would attack them there.  
   
Sam seemed annoyed but agreed to stay there.  
   
After a few minutes he came Dean with a picnic basket.  
   
"Are you serious?" She teased Sam.  
   
"They could not miss things to eat," Dean said, looking as if he were crazy. "I famished, and you too should put something on my stomach ... you're denutrendo" he said, touching his belly.  
   
Sam looked mischievous and took off his shirt and jeans. "Yet I do not think I mind my body, but ..." he said, pulling mischievous.  
   
Dean chuckled: "Not really," he said, stroking his chest tenderly.  
   
Sam wondered how he managed to coexist Dean passion that had swept like lightning, the fraternal tenderness that was not diminished with each other. It was not something that had been lost as he thought it would be inevitable at the beginning, but ... .. now believed that that was probably the tenderness between them, had always been there, there would be up to the death ... perhaps beyond.  
   
Not that it was not passion. Since he was born the desire in them then resulted in an overwhelming passion, they could not help but touch, to seek, to pamper yourself ... kissing. It was like a thirst that would not turn off ever.  
 

 "Falling into trance you will not need to prevent the food you eat all of my mouth," she said Dean suddenly discarding a packet.  
   
"Selfish!" Said Sam, throwing herself on him by claiming its portion.

   
"Mmmm ... these ..calamari fried mussels and these are delicious, Dean. I can not believe it, "Sam said, beginning to eat.  
   
"Amazed eh? The surprises come out right, "said Dean, putting another squid in the mouth.  
   
"When did you get all these things?" Sam said biting into a piece of salmon and smearing the sweet cheese in a sandwich.  
   
"This morning," while you were sleeping, sweetness, "Dean said mockingly.  
   
"Hey! You are unjust. It's all because of you and what you did to me last night, "she said halfway between whining and amused.  
   
Dean blushed. "I did not think I was so unhappy," he tried to say increasingly taking fire while Sam caressed him under her shirt.  
   
"Sam," Dean chuckled. "Look, there's still the sweet."  
   
"What if I wanted another kind of sweet?" Said Sam, sfilandogli his shirt and dropping him on the beach with his weight while unbuttoned and slipped off his jeans. The truth was that Sam was obsessed with the body of Dean. still she could not get used to how good it was, and especially never felt tired of his body. Meanwhile Dean kept laughing.  
   
"You laugh because you do not know what to expect," said Sam increasingly amused.  
"I laugh because that's what lovers do, laugh at all," she said Dean smiling.  
   
Sam kissed him impetuously and Dean smiled on her lips, holding his face. He was smiling now because his brother knew by heart and his gesture to kiss suddenly, surrounded by the movements of the facial muscles that felt on his mouth, made him immediately understand the emotion with which Sam had taken those words. He broke away only to murmur: "You emotions easily brother"  
   
"Your fault," Sam said, rubbing his head against her neck.

 

 

They lay embraced finishing eat dessert. A cake covered in cream and hazelnut biscuit base. Dean occasionally liked to take Sam.  
   
Suddenly there came a text message on the mobile phone of Dean. Bobby was. He said:  
   
You two idiots are invited by me, tomorrow. If you try to make me the can, I'll kill you. There are also those two idiots Castiel and Crowley. Watch out for sharks, whales, fish, the sea monsters, crabs killers. Be careful with your brother, the jinx "  
   
Sam and Dean laughed to read that message.  
   
"Bobby was traumatized when he saw us in that condition to the cave," said Dean.  
   
"It is so tender. I did not think would never accept our relationship. I'm happy, "he said Sam giving him another kiss.  
   
"It takes a lot of good," Dean replied simply.

   
 When they had finished eating, Dean began to study with his hands various bites of mosquitoes that had caught Sam at various points on the chest and arms. Bites already a few days.  
   
"Insects bastards. How dare they do this to you. No one can touch my brother. On the return trip we buy a mosquito net, and then an insecticide, and then a mosquito spray and then .... "  
   
Sam laughed again. "Not enough to defend myself from the monsters? Now you want to defend me even by insects? "  
   
"They have filled bites" Dean whined, continuing to circle the signs with their hands.  
   
"How do you do?" Asked Sam  
"Do what?" Dean asked stroking.  
   
"To be always so tender and at the same time ...." Sam said, leaving the sentence hanging mischievous.  
   
Dean chuckled. "Are you that you can pull out the tenderness in me, Sam. you've always done, "she said giving him a kiss. "  
Sam caught by a sudden tenderness she said: "Thank you for being my brother was always, for not losing that side. Thanks Dean "  
   
"Oh Sam," Dean said, taking his face to give him another kiss.  
   
"You know I think it's time for you to read something"  
   
Sam looked at him questioningly.  
   
Dean pulled away from Sam to take several sheets of crumpled paper he had in the pocket of jeans.  
   
In that moment he looked into his eyes. Sam looked embarrassed  
   
"For me?" Sam asked quizzically.  
   
"I wrote you a letter ... .. ... .pensieri are scattered in various times of day ..." Dean said without looking at him.  
"Read"..... ...."  
   
"I've written .... a divine comedy" Sam tried to joke laughing  
   
Sam took the letter with trembling hands, excited. Apparently, their love was inevitably rising to a spiritual dimension, it had never happened to receive a letter amore..per not to mention the intensity of the feelings that you disquisiva ... started reading in mind ..

 

 

 

Sam ......

 

I do not want to start calling you a letter Dear Sam ... because I always thought they were silly introductions by letters, and that meant not necessarily what you have loved someone ... ... are pure formality. Dear, dear .... They do not seem platitudes? As, you know, I hope, what I mean to me, but if you have missed something anyway, here I pinned my feelings for you, I know you'll take me around in life for this, I myself can not believe It did .... But oh well, patience!

 

Sam  
   
When I saw you again for the first time, in that abandoned hut in Kansas Street ... ... I did not expect to find them .... I do not know if you managed to catch my total surprise at seeing your face .... You had that expression from  
I found you ... .ti always find ... "and to me it looked like a condemnation to hell and at the same time it was like I was saving from damnation. Or that there still was trying at least. Anguish and relief. The recepivi, Sam?  
   
You were trying to take me home, rivolevi your brother back, and I felt guilty for not potertelo restore. I prayed to go home with you, but it was not me that you were praying, but your lost brother. And I could not ridartelo, Sam.  
   
Your hand search my heart and finds him, beating furiously for your neighborhood but do not want you to hear it, it's embarrassing. So cast away your hand, I do not care to hurt you. Dean probably would not. But I am no longer Dean Winchester. I do not care.  
   
You stubborn but I put both hands on your face to make you look, your hands are warm, give me relief, and I have to deal with all my willpower to not close our eyes.  
   
   
I ask you if you kill me, and you answer me you'd rather die, and I think: "After what I have become, I still want him? So maybe I'm not the only one to be mad "  
   
And then suddenly, save my life from that hunter who tries to take the back ... I look at you shocked ... you did it really? For me? Meanwhile more they come, and I only have a few seconds to make a decision, and it is them who, reluctantly decided to get away again, without you, without looking back.

 

 

The next evening, no longer able to stay away, back to you. Find out where you were it was very difficult. It was not even when I was human, imagine now. Do I know how my pockets. I'll wait in the shadows, you turn on the light, seem excited to see me, but also a bit 'scared and I try not to let fear me away, the fear of your rejection. I see you running, and I'm confused, I do not understand ... I had asked to come back to you, so why now scappavi? I made you afraid? I could not believe that I was afraid of me. I see that crush you against the wall scared me, but I now I can not stop me. I need to touch you. It was too long since we were away. I caress his cheek to reassure you. You sigh.  
 I encouraged put my head on your closeness and looking even more after you just hold me.  
   
I hold me and my mind travels. It had been so long that you do not hug, Sam, I feel your scent so sweet, the smell of your skin and is so intoxicating and feel the desire to feel even closer. I want more.  
   
You understand my intentions and try to divincolarti but I can not afford it. Do not let you go, but you can do to stop me, if you want ... I'm telling you, I give you the time, but you do not even shocked you subtract my kiss, in search of your lips on mine. I feel that spare parts, and it's like an explosion of joy, excitement and took, with a force that I thought I have, I take you in my arms and I'll lay on the bed.  
   
I see you docile under me, and I understand that even if I had punched or had fought with you, you would be so compliant, this awareness makes me feel strong, powerful, LOVED ... but banish that thought from my head it relocated in a size and in a time when even the words "love" and "loved" still had some importance for me, even when I was a demon.  
   
I sense your embarrassment find yourself in that situation and in that position with me, your brother ... just as I sense your excitement ... I am confused even Sam, but my inhibitions were lost with my humanity, and knowing what was wrong, I can not stop ... I rub on you to try to try a bit 'of relief and you instead of stopping, rather than take off away, disgusted ... I hear you moan ... and that upsets me and excites me more than anything else and is so nice to discover that you want me ...

 

You ask me to go ahead, not to stop, but I do not want you to think that force you ... not want you to think that for me it's just sex, I have lost all my humanity and I would never hurt, I would not do never NOTHING THAT YOU DO NOT WANT, Sam. you have to figure it out.  
   
My movements are delicate, and I am surprised myself how strong and powerful the love you still feel for you, and I want you to understand, whether you feel it.  
   
I will not go through with it, something might happen to you, I might defile, make you like me, but you do not understand. Insist, and then I get angry, I get furious and almost tell you it is your fault that I do not get excited enough.  
   
LIAR, he cries a voice. The voice of Dean Winchester. But I am no longer Dean Winchester. I do not care to hurt you if what I say can save, admitted that the old Dean ever imported otherwise.  
   
When you scream in his face could not feel anything for you, and I hear your cries, that's my movements come to betray me, my own expression betrays me and you know instantly that it is not true a chip. I try to leave, but you hold me to you, my tears going to finish you off on the eye and then on the cheek. Now you crying too and I'm just fucking.  
   
I can not reject you, or maybe I will not. You say that it is important to have sex, you just want to be hugged me and I let myself be lulled by your arms. I feel our hearts beat in unison and have never been better. Ask me to start to call you Sammy. And say you've always hated that nickname. And I was surprised by how I still remember him.  
   
All night I ask me if I love you, but I have not the strength to answer, I can not, I will not. And then I kiss.

 

The next morning I wake up with you that I spettini and stroke my hair ... .I realize now that you were watching me sleep and I take you around this, hoping that you do not notice the emotion that transpires when I say those words, the joy that catches me at the thought ... and hurt that I feel right after because of that feeling ...

  
I see you out of the shower and I spell watching you, you of course you know it right away, I thought it was bothering you but you answer me that you love the way I do it and I really have never been happier, and more suffering ...  
   
   
Convince me to go back to the bunker .... I would not, I'm afraid ... but the idea of leaving again is unbearable and so in the end I give in ....  
   
Back to drive my car, our car, and it is an indescribable feeling, but nothing compares to your head leaning on my legs meekly seeking shelter and refuge ...  
   
And I find myself thinking that maybe there was still salvation for me, maybe the light at the end of the tunnel I saw in my dreams, were not the fires of hell.

 

"Oh Dean," Sam said, turning to look at him moved.  
"Go ahead" Dean encouraged him stroking his back, and Sam continued reading.  
   
 

   
   
As we were getting close to return home, however, I began to have second thoughts, I'll tell you everything, even the annoying sensations and loneliness caused by the abandonment of the emotions and feelings of my body. You hear everything, you drink it all, accept everything, digest everything, and I still can not figure out how to still not send me to fuck after what I'm saying.  
   
You stubborn say you will do anything to bring me back, that you have not forgotten that even when you seemed lost, damned, without soul, I continued not to give up. I'm listening, and I understand that in a sense, but it was in a different sense. Different situations. You had not chosen to be soulless, but I will. It was my choice. This made everything different. I deserved damnation.  
   
The radio sings the refrain "Oh take me back to the start" just when you tell me that you bring back to me ... and I find myself thinking foolishly, that I'd love to be true .... But I have to stop now because hope, like all the other strong feelings, daggers were darting inside me making me a bad dog.  
   
   
Emotions were disturbing. My emotions, my human emotions of the past, they looked VERY disturbing. Always present. Always ready to tick off. And so many.  
   
   
Oh Sam would have liked to tell you that it was possible to get back your brother - ME - back. But I could not do it. I did not say.

 

 

When we get back to the bunker, panic, run away .... And only the intervention of that son of a bitch (affectionately) Castiel, unable to stop. I did not know at that time whether to punch him or kiss him because I was keeping to distance myself once more from the people I loved. Here, however, he began to punch me and at that moment I thought, "Okay, no kissing, nothing much fucking kisses". I hear voices shouting over me, I think to distinguish your own and I seem to recognize even direct threats to Castiel out of your mouth, and the concern of Bobby ... I smile for a moment, before he lost consciousness.  
   
   
When you regain consciousness, Castiel can not even look at me. "I hate it," I say. But you say that it is only sadness for my neglect to do so to respond, and I feel even more disgusting than before.  
   
   
After a few minutes I called Castiel (about your true? Of the truth) and gives me back my old jacket, neat, clean, even fragrant ... and I understand that he had taken care to give it back when I would be back. Hug him moved, crossing your smile and you smile back gratefully.

 Thanks for that, Sam.  
   
   
Back together again it was like traveling in a dream ... but when I returned to my room, the depression threatened to attack me again, and when I heard your smell on my bed ... there was the coup de grace.  
   
I had not even heard (we were about to become telepathic?) After a few minutes come in my room and now I worry that someone might see you, but you say you can not leave me alone that night, I confess that you felt so much my lack of sleep in my bed to continue to feel my scent, and I won by emotion, I confess that the first time after processing could still dream, and I dreamed of you.  
   
You kiss me and you lie beside me, hugging me. Did you know that I need you.

 

 

The next morning I wake up and I find myself in front of the stove. We had slept in the same bed all night, not sparing kisses and cuddles and really it seemed so natural to come and give them a kiss on the hair, get a caress you ... but I notice the presence of Crowley and I understand it to be just a idiot ... well but we were not doing anything wrong right? Chaste kisses and caresses ......  
I try to sound natural but I see you on the contrary take fire quickly becoming a beautiful red pepper ... and after a while you go. And I felt embarrassed. It was strange to find to be able to try again feelings such as shame and embarrassment.

 

Towards the early afternoon, came the first dramas ... Bobby insists that there aggiornassi of what I had been doing all those months when I was gone. Rationally I understand now that it was a legitimate request, I would have done the same, but at that moment, unable to see the nuances, managing only to catch the black and white, I only saw that you did not have confidence in me, I felt hurt ... .sapevate I was, who I was. because you needed proof?

  
Unexpectedly Crowley took my defenses and spoke to me. I do not know if I would have the pride to defend myself otherwise.

  
I lose control and absolute despair confess everything I had already revealed to you, but in more depth and then unable to cope with all those emotions, I escape. Again. I do not care to hurt you again. And that was another proof of the fact that I was no longer myself. And then all the more reason you do not deserve to continue to have someone who does not feel anything. you do not deserve it, Sam.

 

Oh yes, for you felt all right. For you felt too. And I also knew that I did not care that this was wrong. why I had to get away. I could not do that to you. Drag damnation to my brother.

  
A week had passed since my escape from the fucking bunker.

  
When I ran away, I was even afraid that the clique formed by old Bobby, the little angel, the devil and redeemed my brother - the love of my life - I would have been on him immediately, begging and begging me with tears in his eyes to stay with them, I would have made a sad face, then indignant and what would become of disgust, perhaps I would have also injured, and everything just to remove them, but to protect them dall'abominio who I was or who I was not yet become but there was no doubt that I would be short - it was useless, silly and pathetic hope otherwise. Then when we got home I would be free to hurt and despise myself for how I treated them. It was so that would have to go, I thought in cold blood, clearly, a few hours later the Great Escape.

  
But of course it was not so that was gone

  
NO ONE had tried to stop me, not that I really wanted that they did, they would have only made it more difficult and painful, but in some corner of my heart now black - so I was convinced - I had really hoped that they would. Stupid bipolarity cabbage.

  
Indeed, MY BROTHER - the love of my life - he even shouted - or so I thought I heard, except maybe my hearing no more human-like I was playing tricks on provoking auditory hallucinations - the old man to leave me alone , to allow me to leave.

  
BUT CERTAINLY WAS OBVIOUS, I kept telling myself with anger and humiliation, why my brother would have wanted me to continue with it after my resounding revelation?  
Why would she want with him still a monster that did not feel anything, human or demon, a kind of middle way, a hybrid repugnant?

 

"Just, I do not want to read" Sam said, upset and sad, trying to put the letter aside, but Dean blocked his arm.  
   
"I know it's heartbreaking, and also a bit 'painful, but trust me, go on reading, Sam"  
   
"Dean, is so sad ... .I feel so guilty" Sam whined.  
   
"Sam, you go on to read," Dean insisted.  
 

   
   
I drank another glass of whiskey realizing that I was sinking into those kinds of human emotions that repelled me when I was human, imagine what could I think of them now as hybrid: self-pity. Human emotions are hard to break, and they go with hoarse cries heartbreaking in a recess of the brain.  
   
The I hated.  
That was why the drowning in whiskey.  
   
I really believed I could take refuge in the love of the old Bobby, Castiel, Sam .. I really believed that become what I was, still I deserve love, I just wanted to delude myself that I had been taken away.  
 It was all a gigantic illusion, even those died hard.  
   
   
Who knows what they were doing now, far away from me ... I had a desire to go back so poignant, from them, I was willing even to pretend to still believe in those blessed human feelings, such as love, hope .... It would have been a lie, but I agreed to say anything to get you to take me back with him, whatever. Here I was pathetic, really pathetic.  
   
I ask the bartender to give me another whiskey. Double. A woman asks me if I have not already had enough. I turn to look at her.

 

 

I had already recognized the voice. Jessica was. A demon I had known during my six months of hell .... He knew who I was, knew that once I killed those like them, tried to seduce me anyway, telling me that we were now in the same boat, I chased out badly, the insulted, and immediately remember being burst into tears like a little girl hysterical . She had cherished, I had consoled myself understood, or at least that was what the despair of the time, I suggested ... maybe it suited me to believe, I do not know more now. The fact is that I was in bed, and it was also nice, and for a while 'also consolation. But it did not last. After three or four times, we stopped seeing each other. I was I who wanted so, and she a little 'upset but not at suffering, had agreed, and this was for me another demonstration clear and obvious that the demons did not like. NEVER.  
Now what the hell he wanted from me?

  
Sam stopped reading to ask Dean: "it was really necessary that I write also your passion demonic?" He was irritated.  
"Well ... really."

  
"Jessica is who killed all those people, the case of" sirens ... "? Sam asked realizing at that moment dismayed  
"Well yes," said Dean, a little ashamed '

  
"If I had known what kind of relationship you shared would have torn apart the same day that I saw her for the first time," said Sam jealous begins reading while Dean smirked to the jealousy of Sam.

  
The harpy tried to seduce me again. Heads I had to feel bad for someone and offered to comfort me like last time.

 

 

I looked at her, and I still can not really understand how I could even allow this to be repugnant to speak to me, and I felt for a moment again mé itself, was a wonderful feeling, that intoxicated me from head to toe, but not It was durable. Then it was gone and I felt cold again, again the darkness I had swallowed. All I saw was black. Is cold.  
I turned to look at her and saw that he had completely blacks. They were encouraging and falsely sweet. But they were not green eyes of Sam, and had nothing of his natural sweetness, genuine.

  
"Come on, give me a smile, Dean, I kind desperate dismantle" I told her, and at that point I felt a strong electrical discharge pervade somewhere deep within me and make me a bad dog, I pressed my chest, and a feeling terrible dejavu hit me. I had heard a phrase like that, it was when I signed that pact with that bitch demon to save Sam's life, years and years ago.

  
Sam. Sam.Sam. always him. It was where he turned the wheel all. The blessing of my entire existence.

  
I try to dispel it away, but that bitch is not going away, when approaching, guess what '? what at first glance identify as a mirage.  
"Keep girl, this is to have your seat," said the love of my life to the disgusting demon, that agguantati money, forgot Dean Winchester and perhaps even those who had to leave the field open.

  
I looked at you to make sure I was not hallucinating, you deviate the chair to come and sit next to me.  
"Hello Dean" she said.

  
"Sam" I wanted to be serious, I wanted to be formal, but the tone that I thought I heard you feel it as poignant, relieved, like a pathetic lover who had reviewed countless centuries after his great love, surrounded by a stupid smile on his face .

  
He kept in squadrarmi without saying anything, and I could not resist anymore, I went shooting, and you drew me gently pushing your face to me, and I kissed her gently. You start that you kept immobile, passive, my gesture to kiss you, ricambiasti, the expression a little frustrated, a little '-sembrava - sad.  
I did not have the strength to understand at the time. I was just glad that I had found you again. I will find you always. That was the phrase that came back to haunt me at that time. I thank you for being there. You seem jealous, you make me questions about the bitch before.

  
He did not trust me, maybe? Were you jealous? I hoped, in a sort of vacuous complacency. I would have liked to say that he had his eyes, did not your sweetness, and that he had your body, it was not Sam, period. And that I had not been with any other goddamn whore when it happened what had happened between us. But I did not.  
Sam stopped again to read to give a passionate kiss to Dean. She wept as she kissed him, and Dean was caught by another motion tenderness.  
"Hey hey tiger, if you cry right now, after you end up with tears allagarmi" said Dean.

  
"Dean. stramledettamente were so sweet, and I was an asshole "

  
"You've had ... and moreover I did not behave meglio..dopo. Keep reading"

  
"Can you still to get drunk? So it is not like drinking a medicine for you now? "You say.

  
Suddenly I felt another big shock in the stomach, but this time was so violent that it forced me to my knees, and head felt scoppiarmi.  
You may not You did nothing to support me. They kept not even move an arm, although I could see almost on the floor in agony.  
I did not understand ... ..what could not be you ...

  
"Am I wrong or none of these motherfuckers is helping you at this time?" You continued you implacable. I said, beginning to realize that there was something wrong with you.  
"Why are you so cruel?" I asked you still on the ground.

  
You You leaned close to me and I take her face in hands: "What I can do to you, it is NOTHING compared to what you do to yourself" you said solemnly, looking into my eyes. I thought I heard something similar in the past. was perhaps Meg? I saw white for a moment to the intensity of that memory.

  
"Dean, I'm sorry, I was forced to do so ... ..speravo that force you to remember certain things will help you regain your human side," Sam said sorry.  
"Now, I know ... but I did not know before," said Dean.

  
I did not understand the strange behavior of Sam, but to have his hands on my face were giving me a bit 'of relief, the pain seemed to fade now, little by little ... ..and it was a hallucination or perhaps now it seemed that Sam I He was watching with a poignant look of love? Or maybe I was me that I wanted and then I saw things fake?

  
Then I hear you give me a lingering kiss his cheek in my mouth for a few seconds, sigh. You hold me to you, you make me stand up and say to me: "Come with me little brother" tone loving usasti me confused and disoriented me completely. I did not understand anything.

  
"There were not things bogus" Sam said, giving him another kiss.


	19. Readme - second part

I wake up with a headache ... probably an effect of the hangover .... and I see you. Puzzled but at least you were there. I call you, I ask for a kiss, but you look at me badly and there begins to emerge in me the fear. "Sam, come here" I repeat in a tone more insistent and you come, but you do not seem yourself, and I have a fucking afraid you've stopped loving me. Kiss me plan, tentatively, almost without feeling, and then I draw your face toward mine, in a desperate kiss looking for a confirmation, but you will soon portray and I shocked and hurt you scream: Why do not you love me anymore, SAM ? "I was aware of feeling like a pathetic rejected lover in the throes of a nervous breakdown. You say you never said you loved me. And right now I feel like a crash indefinite inside me. Something was broken, but it certainly could not be my heart, because demons can not have a heart, right? So what was it? The spleen, liver, kidney, lung? And above all, how could I still be alive? I felt I was dead at that time, but for some mysterious reason, and especially cruel, still breathing,  
And all this was not right!

We discuss, you seem angry perhaps more than me and that confused me.

I incite me to say what I myself did not want to admit even to myself.

And I'm going to do it but then I do not find the courage.  
Then me cry.  
"TELL!"

And it is there that I will cry for the first time that I love you.

You look at me and for a moment I seem to see my old Sammy ... my beloved brother, confused, sad, confused and very sweet.

But you yell at me to be a liar, you say that monsters can not love or be loved by anyone. Then he leaves the room hurriedly. And I remain shocked them without answering. Someone had stuck a rostrum in my heart and turned, looking for the point where producing more pain.  
"I'm so sorry Dean" Sam had started to cry and hugged Dean, rincuorandolo.

"Sammy, be careful or get wet letter" Dean said, kissing him on the forehead.

 

At one point you call me, and it sounds more angry or resentful with me. Suddenly all the nasty words that you said had melted like snow in the sun. Now only I cared that you were calling me, and you'd be forgiven ...  
   
I go out and I realize now that it is not in the bunker of the literati, it's all covered in snow, and in fact I make a few steps and sink into a hole particularly large. You come immediately to help me and you're so sweet and I'm just fucking.  
   
Sammy, my sammy ... I realize I am thinking back to you as sammy, and in spite of myself I feel a surge of tenderness, not for you this time, but for myself.  
   
You ask me how I can love you now if I do not hear anything, and I reply that I do not know how to explain. I just know that I can stop feeling love and everything else but I can not stop loving you. You seem relieved.  
   
 I incline a bundle covered with colored paper and encourage me to open it. And I'm amazed. Excited disbelief. Moved. Grateful. It was the pendant. Your pendant. My pendant. I did not think I would ever see again. I try to hold back the tears and I'll call you, but you do not you turn around and realize that you're crying. Will I run to her and hug you, and just when I think I can not get better than this ... you put the song Hey Jude on the radio and I really do not feel more steady on his legs.

   
"I can not believe you're doing this," I whined like a wounded dog. You seem disappointed and sad that you do not remember that that same song you used to sing it so many times when we were kids. I am ashamed of this, but you insist, "I just want to dance with me, Dean can do it, do it for me"  
   
So I embrace, and dance with you, and you feel so tender, soft like a child abandoned in my embrace, I experience a feeling of love so strong it hurt, but I do not want me lasci..sono excited. I tremble the knees again, and this time not for fear ...  
   
 And after a moment of joy vibrating, which was good and bad at the same time, it takes to remember ...  
   
I remember myself that I sang Hey Jude and it was just like to hold her a wad of soft blue cotton, I tell you and you react kissing.  
   
Romantically, passionately, desperately ... and you tell me that you love me. I would explode with joy, and strangely for the first time did not feel pain.

 

"When I danced with you my knees were shaking ..." confirmed Dean excited  
"And my heart was thump thump thump" said Sam back.  
   
   
After a while 'you begin to tell me that you want me , and I also wanted you, more than I wanted, but I could not do this to you. But you insist. You say that you documented and not there really is danger for you.  
   
You make me fall, laugh over me, I look at you laugh, and you tell me laugh at all is something that often happens to lovers. And I, do not I ever told Sam, but I no longer believed in things like falling in love and various bales, coming from you, however, these words had the power to make me come out of the smile. I'd do anything to see you smile more and how you were doing at the time.  
   
So we made love, you know, and if even a minimal form of crime was still inside me, -What were damn I did not matter, but because you, too? - It was however chased away in a flash.  
   
Two phrases that you said were about to take me to ecstasy, when you said you did not think so keen to feel good within myself and when you kept repeating "I love you, I love you, I love you" Sam Oh how happy I was.  
   
We stopped to look at the stars and I will rimarcai you were MY MY ONLY and do not think it was worth just for tonight or I'd done all his teeth and spit you told me: "" Stupid, you have not figured that since I was born I was chained to you? "and I have lost the very words ...  
   
When we returned in the chalet, I felt so afraid of losing me once that I would return human, I felt the need to reassure you right away. I would never have moved away. Whatever it takes. And so you almost miss. Sam apologizes, not reasoned.

 

I started to change ... I felt INSIDE. I tried to perfume to hide to you the smell and flavor that I was beginning to take on, but you will insospettisci stubborn and kiss me, then directly away disgusted. I knew what you had to have heard. The flavor of the demons. I try to do something for my breath, but I knew you would not drink, I could not deceive any longer.

We begin to argue when you cercastii make me eat the cake at all costs. But how could I say that I could not taste it, Sam? as? So a coward I took it with you. I lost control.  
I took you in the mountains ... I fix everything, I wanted to apologize. Caught by a sudden inspiration, I take you in my arms and I start to carry you like a little kid, you try to resist but then you abandon me. And I feel so strong and almost think that after all my condition was not to be so bad if it made me feel so full of energy. How foolish I was!

I awake when we already arrived in the expanse of green that I wanted to achieve and overwork you with kisses and cuddles, and I apologize. I was beginning to feel a bit 'shame.  
We eat while you have the idea to start getting dirty mouth of cake and kiss me, and then put it shamelessly in front of my mouth. I understand what you're going to do, but you were so so tender that I could not reject you. In fact I was almost amused. At first I did not feel anything, but then all focused on you, and on your kisses, my heart dropped again space to JOY, LOVE AND seemed to start to feel the taste of the cake .... And ate it on your lips, hungry. And Sam ... oh how happy I was at that time .... You were trying to save me, and I was .... I was a fool

But he did not last long. Darkness came early. Even before seeing the young child to fall while he was climbing the mountain. You look at me quizzically and I knew that you were wondering why I rushed to help him, but I no longer feel ... ..ero darkened, I seemed to be sedated ... I realized that I should help him, it's just that I did not understand why . I tried to throw it on the sarcasm: "How's the kid? The past is the desire to go to the mountains? "I say. You give me a punch trim looking strong and was so similar to the reaction that I had when you were addicted to demon blood, that looking back now, I do not know if you feel shame for not having understood at that time, or if you think that I had deserved that punch . You say i'm not your brother anymore and I am struck by the weight of those words, I give you back your fist. I was stronger at that moment and I should not react and instead I did. She collapses to the ground, destroyed, and I understand that it was for the fist. Distraught I ask you to forgive me, and you say you can not. I want to cry but I understand that it would not help and I refrain. 

   
Arriving at the car are still discussing, the damn keys,  
   
"Sam, give me your car keys," I say irritably.  
   
"Otherwise? I give me another punch? "  
   
"SAM, GIVE ME THE KEYS fucking"  
   
"Or you kill me?"  
   
Then I begin to cry softly, you scream that I can not control it, I can not bear to be what I will do when I finish all human again, and I ask you to follow me, to become a demon with me, so we can be together forever. It's madness, I tell you, you try to convince me, but I am determined. All right, I would say at the end ...... you were so heartbreaking Sam, like you're asking to commit suicide together, but at that time I was a dirty selfish, devoid of empathy, I was too relieved about not losing you think your feelings ... you get close to me, hugged me, and then ... weir ground yet embraced you.

 

When I wake up I understand now to be back home. I also understand that you're terrified that I have it in for you. But at that moment I felt only shame for what I had done, for what I tell you, for what I was going to get you. "Forgive me," I can only tell you.

The way of memories for good or for evil is illuminated by arc lamps, Sam ... ..

In the state of hallucination in which I found myself, I saw again myself as a child ... our father wanted to introduce you, my brother .... Your eyes met mine in the nursery and from that moment it is as if our destinies were marked. I know. Now I know that we are soulmates. Then I saw myself the first time I picked her up, you do not smettevi staring, and made me a cake on the cheek and patted giocherellasti with my hair. I told you that I was not a dog but did not do anything to get those little hands from my face.

I saw myself to save you from the fire that destroyed our family, and then later insist to sleep with you every night in your cradle fearing that it would ricapitare and the monster this time I was going to hurt ... and our father took us both and we He did sleep in the bed with him.

I relived the moment you left for Stanford. And when I came back, I said, "Hey Sam, you know we're just stronger together" and you answered me: "it is true"

 

"At some point you still semiconscious you have embraced" said Sam

"For real? Who knows, it may have been in response to one of those two memories "Dean said kissing him on the neck.

Then came the nightmares .... I saw our father sacrifice for me, I saw you possessed by Meg trying to strangle me, and hear my other self, projection of what I had become terrified of, tell me that I had no way out, that was what I would have become .... And many other memories ... hallucinations ... ... remorse. Ellen and Jo died in that terrible explosion ....  
And then they begin to assordarmi noises. They were so loud ... so loud. I'm begging you to finish everything, and this is where you make me feel this song.  
Do not ever let it end.

We listen to this song hugged and I will whisper, "do not think that there is only one thing, past or present, that puts in front of you. I need you to understand. please."

 

"do you remember? I was afraid that I was not with you at that time, "Sam said.  
   
"Half and half" consent Dean. "I was taken to one side by the memory but on the other I knew what you were doing and I felt the need to tell you again," said Dean tenderly.  
   
   
 

 

   
Then you kiss me and the sounds of a sudden no longer so loud.  
   
I still felt bad. I felt excruciating pain in the chest. It was the heart that he was returning to pump oxygen free from the spiral of evil that was going to bribe him, the bones were pulled him cry out in pain, my head looked like it split in two. I had blurred vision, and my legs gave way. And the light ... it was as if someone had entered the 200-watt lights. Someone off! I thought. and the colors were so messy.  
   
They are too ON. They are so alive. Turn it off, please, turn off the power. But suddenly I smile

I see get a brush that puts them all in the right place on a blank canvas.

And then they become wonderful. They were returning even the scents and smells, and tastes.

The smell of gasoline in my car, which I loved so much.

And the taste of my sweet tart.

The sandwiches that I prepared the mother.

The sound of the gun of our father.

The flavor of the whiskey flask of Bobby.

The sweet scent of the balsam of your hair, Sam.

The bittersweet taste of the kiss of Jo when the shadow of death he was going to attack her.

And I realize I should also mention the hugs, especially the embrace of my sweet little Sammy when he died in my arms, pushing him to make that deal to save it.

I hugged sporcandomi hands with your blood, caused by that horrible wound in the back

Caresses the scratches feel more.

   
   
   
Sam put a hand over her mouth to hear those words. He was moved. He did not know what to say.

 

Vomiting in the bathroom. A truly painful. Then try to enter, as if I had just announced that I had melted the Sorcerer's Stone. I shut out. I need a shower, I tell you.  
   
Time to freshen up and go to your search, but can not find you right away. After embracing the other, they say you are in your room. Busso and within.

 

I see you, Sam, and you're so beautiful. It's all so clear now. I could see even earlier than I was, but my perceptions were still darkened in a way ... it was like to live under water ... now things are more opaque and in a sense I am more. The body that I'm looking at now, is to my brother, and I realize that you're not a kid anymore ... you're a man now.  
   
You look at me. But you do not seem moved no sign to approach, and it's up to me to clear the distance between us ....  
   
A big bear hug. You you move away a little from me without dissolving completely embrace and I stay in a puff from her face. And I feel the blood affluirmi brain.

Not understanding well in which direction to move, support my forehead against your sighs and I suffered, and you follow me closely ... ..  
   
I remembered too well what had happened between us, and have you so close to a few millimeters from my face ... it was shocking ... ... it was not natural. I felt an attraction disruptive inflame, you try to make me a caress and I a bit 'too roughly will block the wrist. I see you cross your eyes. I feel guilty, and a little 'to address and perhaps a little' because I wanted it, I give you a kiss on the corner of the mouth.  
 

   
   
"You're a sadistic bastard" echoed Sam  
"Ah ah do not cuss Sammy" echoed Dean amused.  
   
   
During dinner with the others, I was embarrassed, and uncomfortable, I was afraid they would see the truth in my eyes if I had looked into the eyes .... I saw you you remained bad for my silence but what could I say to make you feel better, you do not put in embarrassment?  
   
It's my fault, I said, without thinking that you would be worse. In fact, you walk away.  
   
I can not stay away. And so that in the middle of the night, I introduce you to your room and come to caress his hair.  
   
I'll give you kisses on the cheek and you open your eyes. I knew you were not sleeping.  
   
You try to ask me to sleep in your bed, I mortified, I look at your bed like a grave and tell you that I can not. Then I ask you just a hug. And you're so helpless and tender at that time, that I can not resist.  
   
I get on the bed. I hug, you grab your face and you cover it with small kisses, always excluding the mouth.  
   
Eventually he runs headlong fearing not being able to control myself if he remained still in your room.  
   
   
   
Sam arrived at the sentence and stopped. Dean was drinking from a bottle of water. Sam was undecided. It was quite moved by many parties, but looked at the amount of paper that had yet to read and when Dean asked: "What?" He looked puzzled, and she threw herself on him saying merry:

"Look Dean let it all"  
   
Dean chuckled. "Let Sammy can not have so little resistance"

"Now I will demonstrate how much resistance I" said Sam, trying to pull his boxers.  
   
"NO! Sammy !! "Dean said trying to sound steely. "We have all the time AFTER. You still have to finish the letter "Dean chuckled.  
   
Sam looked at him with a funny face and Dean was even more laughable.  
   
He took other sheets and looked at them.  
   
"All these ???!" Oo  
   
Dean began to laugh again.  
   
"You thought you were just a troglodyte womanizer, little brother"  
   
"When you asked me to read a letter I did not think I asked you to read the Divine Comedy" replied Sam  
   
"So do not you care to know my feelings eh? Well well I'll keep this, "she said Dean doing mock offended.  
   
"I did not think they were so long and so many," he said Sam showing again the pile of sheets by again a funny face that made her laugh again Dean.  
   
"Come on that is about to end," she said Dean encouraging.  
   
Sam looked at him and showed him again and leaves Dean burst out laughing again.  
   
"When I told you not to let it ever end did not mean that," said Sam yet  
   
"To not do all these stories"  
   
"Well I would say that from all this yearning love made me want to be together again in Biblical sense ...." Said Sam trying to hold it under him.  
   
"Sam," Dean said trying to sound steely.  
   
A cell phone rang. It was to Dean.  
   
Castiel.  
   
Dean reached for the phone, but Sam was too quick. Castiel had written:

Then, you did read the letter?  
   
Sam quickly typed:  
   
He is making me read the Divine Comedy. It sent.  
   
Dean let go a slap.  
   
After a few seconds Castiel replied:  
   
I found it exciting, then I got the confirmation that Dean is happy when the woodpecker. Take note!  
 

   
Dean replied, You Bastard  
   
A few minutes later the phone rang Sam. Crowley was.  
   
Castiel tried to have it read to me, but I fell asleep halfway!  
   
   
"Enough. This is a serious moment! "Said Dean, half amused.  
   
Sam tried to refocus attention on him, throwing the towel on the phones.  
   
"Forget everything and only think of me," she said kissing his neck.  
   
"If you love me you have to continue reading"  
   
"Blackmailer!"  
   
"Are not you anxious to know my thoughts, Tiger?"  
   
"I've already read and I read so much yearning and hunger for love. You make me even more desire to kiss and cuddle and hold you and ... ..no I can resist, "he said Sam trying to hold out another ambush but Dean was faster and held it under her tenendogli wrists.  
   
"Take it easy, tiger," said Dean, and Sam had a flashback so strong as to leave him stunned for a moment. I'm not going to talk anymore. His expression changed. And Dean looked puzzled  
   
"Is the same phrase that you said when you came back to me, when dad disappeared," she said.

Dean looked at him tenderly, and Sam put his hands gently on the face pulling him into a gentle kiss and soft smile on his lips. Then he took the papers from his hands, still smiling, and continued reading.


	20. Readme - Part Three

Part of me kept telling me that what happened between us should not have to happen again. A beautiful stone above. Brothers would be back as before, as was normal that it should have been. I was really convinced. Then the next morning I see the stove to prepare breakfast and all my thoughts are ironclad literally to fuck off and taken by instinct I embrace you tenderly. What harm was there in an embrace? It was an innocent thing. but you do not stay still, no, you support your head on mine and stroking her hair, and then contact me with a feeling of well being ... ..provo sweetness, love, and certainly not fraternal ... I realize now, and not good at all. which it is why I had to get away ... but now I only do a few steps, and you weirs on the ground, scaring you do not know what.  
   
You look worried recover, and we all agree that it is the fault of the weakness and the blood you donated to the monster of your brother, Castiel realizes immediately that I did not sleep, like you ... but I mumble something about adrenaline on emotions yesterday that prevented me from getting to sleep ... certainly could not reveal that I had been up all night trying to exorcise my impure thoughts about my brother.  
   
I try to eat ... you are worried about your health, I'm pissed off with myself and try to throw a joke, but you misunderstand my intentions and ask me why I make fun of you. I feel my heart rending. Please. You insist and want to know if I loved you truly, if I still love you now, and I would have liked not ask me, because I myself was afraid to question me, I was afraid my answer, the divine judgment. All.  
   
You go away feeling disappointed talk again hell adopting it as an excuse. I can not blame you. I am also disappointed with myself.  
 

   
In the following days I try to readjust our relationship, but your indifference I weighs a ton  
   
"Why do you ignore me like this? "I tell you one day. I was pathetic, do you realize?  
 

   
I learn from Castiel that you confide in Crowley and it seems a mockery. Talk to me, I'll scream. Well aware that you will not. Assuming it was still more left to explain after all that shipwreck.  
 

   
   
Finally after a while ', you seem a bit' less rigid and more open with me. And I'm so confused and so glad you're back to talk to me, that I forget to keep fucking fucking limits and distances. Maybe you support his knee, will you pull a silly hair ... .metto my head on your lap. I was aware that these contacts it was better to avoid them, it was just that it seemed so serious.  
   
   
One day I even washed my hair. Remember Sam? I was so glad to have an excuse to be able to touch. Maybe I was a bit 'tipsy, because I remember that I left a little' go with the words, and I saw your expression become more and more shocked ... I tell you to decide how you want me, you tell me that you should not be around me when I so, because they are odious, and I ask you: why, when you're never close, Sammy, lately?  
   
I also remember that he had fainted and that you made me lie down in the cursed room, and then I asked you to stay with me, and I really did not even understand now as simply sent me to hell, but you kept.  
 

   
Another day we were doing a pillow fight and I finally I can get the better of you. I heard you laugh and you were so sweet ... I would do anything to hear you laugh always so, and then I remember that he had already thought of that sentence ... on the night of our first night together .... And the thought came to me a pang. Not regret, but of nostalgia.  
 

   
We watched the film with Castiel and Crowley, but then we fell asleep embraced on the sofa, remember? Just as a newlywed couple.  
Upon awakening I see that you realize that he had slept almost on me all the time, and try to leave immediately but you stopping you. I did not want you went. You're not doing anything wrong, I tell you.

 

 

From that moment on, he settled a new intimacy between you and me, the contacts became more frequent, and more possessive, ll our relationship was becoming more and more a necessity than just physical touch us, to stay close, to seek pampering and caresses, becoming possibly even more codependent than it already was before.  
   
I felt clumsy, awkward, incoherent, confused, troubled, but totally enveloped you, I could not let go of everything but I could not tear myself away from you. I was intoxicated with your perfume, I loved to stroke his hair, print yourself kisses on the neck. I loved just your skin, your eyes, your body, your smile. It had become my obsession. And even worse, I knew to be your own, but did nothing to protect you .. - know that mostro-?  
   
That day, you know, I lost control ... .stavamo slipping in petting and even I knew it, even worse, you've made me the note and I kept to ignore it, putting even a hand under her shirt to search of your skin, which felt warm and quivering under my fingers ... but you do not have permission to go ahead. You moved away from me violently, face a hurt again by the monster it was your brother.  
  You've accused me to treat you as a sex toy, and I wanted to tell you that you were not that for me, yet I could not tell you what I had for myself. You knew and despised me for this, and you did well.

   
   
When you told me that you had to be careful because Crowley had said that Castiel could suspect us, I did not even hear the whole sentence in full ... it was only interested in the part where you said that was CROWLEY to tell you ... and I know I account instantly that I was pissed. And I was jealous! I ask what is it that should suspect exactly? And you answer me, "the thing that is between us," I knew I did not want to minimize what was between us, but feel eufemizzare what was between us, the overwhelming feeling that I tore inside, the "thing" made me angry more than anything else. I knew I did not have the right since I first sminuivo him but at that time I was not interested and with a cynicism that I thought I had not, I tell you: "" Which is? "

   
I look at you and your expression is clear and obvious. I had mortally wounded. "Absolutely nothing" I say, and I feel even worse, before I realized that I'd earned it.  
   
You shake your head and you go, I understand that you feel ridiculous and demoralized, and after that I was left alone, I follow to feel ridiculous, too. With all the things I could have said, because I was so full of myself, superficial and narrow-minded?

   
   
The next evening, at the table, now totally incapable of discernment, I start to tease you trying to capture your legs with mine, in the yearning to feel even closer.  
 I knew I was probably pulling too far, but I could not stop me, the torment and unrest threatened to eat me alive as a tornado and then vented on you all my frustration. Did you realize that monster? - Once again -  
   
But you will divincoli precipitously, and the jug of water spills on the tablecloth combining a disaster and you then run away. I obviously follow you immediately.

   
I try to grab you by the shoulders but you will divincoli and I apologize to you knowing that it could not be enough, I would like to apologize for everything, you breath a few millimeters from the mouth and I feel that I would also like to kiss you, but I can not .... You may feel that you reject me and my anguish. Run away.  
 

   
   
I could not sleep that night. I was terrified that you would have gone for good, because I was too cowardly to be able to accept yourself and love I felt inside, in my life ... .I was terrified of losing you forever, and I passed the night crying. A little 'I'm ashamed.  
   
The next morning I see you go back and it was as if someone had removed from my chest that I tore a huge boulder. You were still there. He was returned to me. Not you were gone away forever.  
   
Despite this I was still upset and a bit 'exhausted tears that had kept me up all night and fear. You come and you make yourself close to me, I try to smile knowing that I should not look good.

   
   
   
"You were beautiful," Sam said, turning to Dean.  
"With love," she said Dean kissing him on the mouth.  
  


 

You touch me a shoulder and I immediately immobilized. I'm afraid to make even the slightest movement thinking that scapperesti again instantly. You begin to massage the neck and I plan sigh of relief, it was amazing how I had hands so big and yet so delicate and sensitive.  
those massages were transformed more and more into soft caresses and I shuddered at the attention ...

   
I felt your proximity, you were pretty much stuck to me. I put my head in a gesture to your semi-desperate. I can no longer control the almost primitive need to slide your arms Sam, I can not control it. "I'm about to go crazy" sigh semi abandoned in your arms.

 "My fault?" I whisper you, giving me a kiss on the head.  
   
I do not answer, I just tilt your head toward your face, and go with one hand to caress her cheek, then lean even more close to your mouth. The desire to kiss you now is so strong that it was almost painful.  
   
 Then you kiss me.

   
At first I only kiss on his lips, then the kiss becomes more languid and sensual, my tongue meets your divamparmi and feel a fire inside. I feel completely overwhelmed by your taste, and spare the kiss with long sighs.  
 I feel a love so disruptive that stuns me. I could almost pass out at that time had it not been for you to get up onto my legs, pulling me closer to you, and I will shake the happy reflection of the change of position. We ansimiamo both on the mouth of the other.

   
Then, you know, Castiel caught us, and we detach from the mouth of the other, terrified. Immediately you come down from my legs looking like me to give you a settled, knowing full well that we had both of breath, his face red, his hair uncombed, shirts all wrinkled, his lips still buttons for the first kiss.

   
Castiel asked for an explanation, and Crowley spoke to our aid and you laugh. And I think in dismay: how can laugh now?  
 

   
    
"Even I have thought" chuckled Sam followed by the laughter of Dean.  
   
 

   
Crowley admits to having filmed secretly and you collapse to the ground overwhelmed by the hysteria, and I can only think to take away from those two crazy.  
   
We continue to discuss and I was born a debate with Castiel on the morality of our relationship, Cas accuse you of being in love with me and the result is a theater worthy of a soap opera in which it appears that virtually the same Cas thought that between you and Crowley It was something (just try it and I'll kill you Sam !!)

   
When Cas goes away, you have the lighting mechanical genius, and that is the great revelation: Castiel love with Crowley. Oh my God. I will take it around in life for this.  
   
   
   
While traveling in the car, took a deep movement of love towards you, I decided to make you feel the song that haunts me from a long time now: All out of love.  
   
   
You listen to the kidnapped, and then ask me to stop the car. I do as I ask, a bit 'worried, and when I stop asking explanations thou zittisci with a tender kiss and passionate together, and I at that time I press the rewind button because the time is too good not to share it as the background of the song .  
 

   
   
   
That evening a bit 'worn out from all those emotions, I'll jump in bed and fall asleep immediately without even undress. I wake up in the middle of the night when your arm grazes my chance. I know it sounds absurd given how we were ever attacked, but at that moment, that contact so slight, made me feel creepy. For real. As I told you then later. I felt alive, Sam.

   
   
I wake up in that motel, and the first thing I'm different from all the other times, from all the motels I've been so far with you, you just see yourself, sleep in the same bed with me, for the first time ... double. I seem to live in a parallel dimension, and I find it hard to realize for a moment.  
 I watch you sleep, this kind of wad overgrown, this full head of hair that sink into the cushion hiding his face and I try just a tenderness so painful and poignant that you strapazzerei kisses, and I think: Is this love fleeting? Or better? This is the love? This feeling so light and heavy at the same time? And why in this room it lacks a vase with flowers? It would have been perfect, there was a vase with flower near OUR bed, I should ask Sam what his favorite flowers. I get up and I go to take a shower for not thinking about my stupid thoughts.

   
   
   
"Oh Dean," Sam said, interrupting the reading to kiss him. "They are the lilies. White "whispers on the lips.  
   
"A delicate flower like you," Dean replies.

 

You call me, and I realize I adore the sound of your voice, when you call me in need of attention, or worried, anxious, frightened, in pain, pleading, or loving, kind, tender as you are, and I realize I lo ...... . to want you. I would like to take this time, get my, look at you, chain you to me, make you sigh with pleasure, make you scream my name, and then tell me you love me.  
   
   
   
Sam stopped for a moment to read becoming fire.  
 

   
"What?" Asked Dean embarrassed.

"You seem ... ehm..cose to say"? Sam asked trying to hide his face uncertain whether to hide embarrassment or jump him.  
   
"Um ... I actually left a little 'go" she said Dean embarrassed shaking hair. "But you saw, you you tell me then," she said slyly.  
   
"Yeah, I also remember that you have not answered me ..." he remarked Sam annoyed.  
   
"Er ..."  
   
   
 

   
I come out of the shower and I say "hello darling" although it was another word that I wanted to say ....  
   
You are still happy ... tell me you love me so much ... and then, however, immediately becomes sad because I can not tell you ..  
   
Oh Sam, Sam, look at me with that look so so sad, and I feel like a monster. At the same time I wonder why, why can not that be enough for me to be here with you now, and you can have me anytime that you want, you do not need promises like that.  
   
You seem to drop the subject ... and do not know how, maybe it was the location, but I feel a great physical desire to stay with you at that moment. I wanted were my totally, but just then ringing the damn phone. It was our friend Jesse, the policeman. You seem upset by the stop, but I tell you that we had all the time AFTER and that was not the most important thing. and you know what the best thing? I thought really.  
 

   
   
Jesse makes us see the photos of the suspects in the case of "sirens" that was following. A trail of murders that seem to reconnect them. I obviously recognize now Jessica each other, but you misunderstand my expression and immediately becomes jealous, believing that I was interested in the suspect.  
   
I can not tell you the truth, because now that I had regained my humanity, I was not really want to kill that bitch just as a dog. It was a demon ok, but I had still shared something, not a feeling, but it was something and I would feel a beast to act so. I was not sure, but I still felt guilty about lying to you ... still secret, still lies ....  
 

   
We continue in our visits to suspected and your discontent increases. One of them asked why and I say you have a fight with his girlfriend, your earning a glare. Clearly drove me reproach and I reply that I only told the truth. I hear you loosen up like snow in the sun. I repeat that I was yours and yours alone. You will accoccoli even closer to me and say "if you touch even with a finger, I eat the hands", and I feel a surge of infinite sweetness. I look at you and thought: is it not sweet, and very old, and tender?  
   
   
Check then to the conclusion that I'd told Jessica, once back home, but fate has other plans as always. You are in the shower when I get the message that bitch. I decide to comply with the request to talk to because I did not want that harpy hurt you. After that I had done a little 'street, however, I realize the huge mistake I had made. I had forgotten the phone on the bed! You would have read the message and'd try to follow me.  
   
Breed of idiot until the last stage!  
   
I decided immediately to turn back, but can not find you, and I do idiot twice. I should take you with me. I should never leave you alone. Because everything always wrong?

   
I regret now that he had stabbed the monster when I could still do it. If you had done wrong I would never be able to forgive myself.  
   
I get another message that bitch that I inform you that you are at night "Two Stars" so I rush them.

 

When you find it, it is shocking to know that he knew that being us. Apparently the ease and naturalness with which not skimp effusions even in sunlight, that time he had screwed.  
   
Obviously it was not my shame and not feared even the judgment of any angels but of demons. I was worried about you. If other demons they found out about our relationship they would have chased you and you would always be in danger with me.  
   
That bitch seems to read my mind and asked me to go with you to protect you, then perhaps thinking it was not enough to convince me, tries to instill doubts about you, too, tries to hurt you relying on your weakness, the fear that you I had that one day I would have left.

   
You start crying and it was just too much for me. Taking advantage of the distraction of the demon, who had turned to look at you, shoot him a shot in the forehead. Let go and at that point the spray holy water that I had hidden in my jacket, pulled out a knife and stab. Again and again and again, until I hear your sobs become more intense, and upset by your tears, I stop and run to hug you.

   
   
Jesse are tied up in a closet and we provide him free. He tells us to recover a bit 'because there was quite upset, and she will call a patrol to warn them of the discovery assassin. Goes away and leave us alone.  
   
We were both destroyed. For my part I was scared of the future that he had expected the demon to you, saying that you would be with me always in danger. I had thought you might be upset because you had also believe his words, but unlike me, you think you're not good enough for me.

   
When he got the stripper giving me the kiss Sam ... oh how sorry I am. I did not feel any sense and even pleasure. I do not know why I took off right away from them. I was shattered and I had no strength to move a muscle. I do not remember ever cried during a kiss as now. I realize now I hurt you to death, and I try to hold you by the arm but still not reject the stripper. But what I thought? When you can divincolarti, and run away, as I wake from a trance and immediately making me realize what I had just done, and conscious of having done it this time, I'm running right behind.  
 

   
   
I go out of the night and I am not far. It was shot from behind and you asciugavi eyes with the back of his hand, and I suddenly felt a violent motion of shame.  
   
We discuss, I apologize to you, I promise I will never leave you, you have to trust me. But you do not believe me. And resume walking.

   
And at that moment I had a glimpse of myself in three years, I came to your crib and gave you a basin, then I go to our mother and I said: Mom, thank you for giving me the little brother, I'm so so happy "yet somehow I managed to mortify even this, to throw it all away for nothing.  
   
I took a few steps toward you. "Sam, we, we are Sam and Dean, remember? We can not be divided, it is like trying to snatch the stars at night, "I said recovering to cry. "Please, do not leave me" I beg desperate.  
   
You stop for a moment without turning, and I understand that you were crying.

"Sam"?  
   
Then suddenly you turn around, you make yourself close and pull over your face to mine, his cheek against my hot, wet, and for a moment of pure joy I thought you were going to forgive me.  
   
"You can not tell me that you love me, Dean, and you know why you can not do? Why is not it" and so saying you went away and I felt my heart shatter into many small pieces, and make a bad dog.  
   
"I prepare my things, I will go away tonight," you say as he walked.

 

Sam apologizes, I had no choice.  
Bullshit, there is always a choice  
Excuse Sam, i'm a jerk

 

 

Let's go back to the motel destroyed, each with their own pain, unable to say anything and quietly you begin to put your things in your suitcase, threw them angrily inside.  
   
 I could not believe what was happening. I broke my head and I just wanted to tie you to the bed to keep you leave.

   
"You can not wait to leave it?" I asked with mournful tone.  
   
 You keep fiddling with the suitcase for a few minutes, asciugandoti occasionally face trying not to be seen crying, while I also tried to soften the sobs that threatened to overwhelm me.  
   
Arrived at the time when you were going to leave you pushed against the wall to force you to back away from the damn door.  
 

   
I begin to reveal many little things. I'll tell you how important it was for me the song All Out of love, the feelings that I reconnected it to you, shall I tell you that that night you had heard that I sfioravi with your arm, you say it is not true that I hate the fact that we are brothers, are indeed proud to be your brother, Sam, I'm happy to have been close to signing from birth and to have been able to share my life with you, I tell you also that I thanked our mother for the gift that I had done.

   
"Dean, why will not you accept the fact that it's over?" I ask recovering crying.  
   
And I whisper all''orecchio: "Why are you that you asked me not to do it ever end"  
   
You you are moved by my words and I understand that when I respingerai, kiss you. You do not do it, and I was just a little detachment to tell you that I loved you on the lips.

 

My voice was shaking, and I saw that you reflexively lip trembled. We were in perfect sync  
   
"Tell me you love me too still, tell me that you forgive me," I asked you.  
   
"I love you Dean, I love you so much" I answer you continue to kiss passionately.  
   
   
We continued to kiss until he sunk both on the bed.  
   
 

   
Make the love with me, brother, "I whisper.  
   
"You" can you answer me hard. The effort to speak seemed enormous.

   
You move a little 'more in there and I sit in the middle of your legs continuing to gently caress his hair, and asciugandoti tears. He was smiling now. And I could only think about your eyes now tearless.  
   
I promise that I will not ever cry "I say. Such a promise I had never done to any woman

 

 

We begin to undress each other, and if there are romantic things in sex, this certainly was one of the best. You undressed me and I was undressing you. It was really amazing ... well. It was like a denudarci of our feelings, not just clothes.

  
You go to touch my tattoo anti possession with one hand and with the other touches your.

  
I always found it ridiculous and a bit 'pathetic the couples who make tattoos together "But we're not Sam and Dean? We are a couple BEAUTIFUL ... Sam and Dean ... ".  
"Sam and Dean ... like Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers"

  
we said, tender and poignant as nobody.

  
You're the love of my life, Sam, "I say, and feel you shiver and cry with emotion.

  
Look, I want you to look at me, I promise I will not hurt, "I tell you again ... and it was.  
AMAZING.

 

 

You you were completely abandoned, relying on me, sospiravi, trembled beneath me .... And I realized at that moment that we were two halves that were to join, to unite and that keep divided, that was the sin.

  
You really need to tell you that it was beautiful?  
Yes, it was,

  
It is. Only with you it is so, Sam.

 

 

  
*

  
"Dean ... .I ... do not have words ... ..it's beautiful," she said Sam moved to kiss him recovering.

  
Movements of Sam, Dean heads that he was returning to the attack, and reluctantly had to hold him back.  
"Love, you have not read everything," she said, still stuck to his lips.

  
"But how ... .." Sam asked a bit 'confused. "The sheets are finished," he said Sam wondering if he needed an eye examination.  
"Sammy, you really thought that those were the REAL letter? They were my thoughts on our spending. And they are very numerous, I admit, but the real letter, the one where I talk about my feelings for you, that I wrote in part, "Dean said showing him an envelope taken from their picnic basket.  
Sam looked confused.

  
"But Dean ... I've already read what your feelings for me," he said, trying not to laugh.

  
"During the long story you might have missed something. In those papers I speak for most of what I THOUGHT, but here's what I FEEL "Dean pointed out.  
Sam looked at him and Dean seemed excited. His eyes were shining.  
"I can not believe you did all this for me"

  
I went to hell ...... "Dean pointed out.  
Sam chuckled and planted a kiss on the neck.

  
"What did I do to deserve you?" Asked Sam hugging him, holding the envelope in his hand.  
"Well, I do not think it merits. I just think there are certain people who are destined to be together no matter what I do, "replied Dean  
And reading shooting ......

 


	21. Words of honey under the stars

Sam  
   
I have never written a letter to nobody, until now ... and I feel ... ... .bo .embarassed? uncomfortable?  
Pleasantly confused?

I know that even if you never admit it, but I like these things girly. But I think I hate them, think a bit '. But after ... we ... I found that I like ... not that strange?

You will laugh as well, nothing can be comparable to what was I got myself around. BIG AND HARD Dean Winchester that turns into a pathetic nerd teenager first crush ... but when have I ever been a real tough guy, Sam? With you at least ... ..  
 

  
I remember the great tragedy that happened in my head when you went away to study at Stanford. It was the worst day of my life, and see you instead so eager to go was ugly. "Come with me," he said. But I could not. I could not go against my father, leave him alone ... not after the death of her mother, not after you were gone, too. The man had already lost too much, at least I had to stay with him ... or would eventually make a gesture insane ...

   
Do not think I still want rinfacciarti that decision, Sam ... I just want you to know, that then when we got together and I was like .... it was like being at home.  
Find another part of me that had separated from the body and now reunited.

  
And I realized, when we ricongiungemmo, the death of Jessica (sorry for that girl so much!) That even if it was you that had gone home, and I remained what I was like ... ..sembrava if even I, the whole time you were not there, I was away from home .... Simply because I realized that the house was the house where I lived, but it was with you. Wherever it was you.  
 

You've always been my little brother to be protected, sweet, helpless, tender. I always wanted to take care of you ... not because dad would tell me, there was no need for me to tell him to do it .... I wanted to do.  
Our mother was dead, had left us alone ... that fucking demon had taken away the love and affection of a mother, and our father was too tired and distressed by hunting and by revenge to take care of us. Sure, she loved him, and remember that we talked too? We agree with the fact that it could happen to us, for example, someone who went wild as the man that his wife showy burn on the ceiling, she took him with her son making a living hell and making him crazy .... Remember? But John, our father, has been too hard on us at times, but we loved him and always tried to protect us ... and it was the last thing he did with me, before he left.  
 

Damn, I must not cry. I do not want to stain this letter.

 

However, I was telling our parents ... I suffered of course, I was only a child, but I did not want that you had to go through the trauma of the lack of affection and love from a mother. Maybe unconsciously I have also done a mother, I do not know. Or at least I tried .... I do not think you've ever seen as a mom, though. I remember when you was a child sgusciavi in my bed for cover, wanting to sleep with me.  
 

"Sammy, you're all grown up now," I said even though I were a child. "Why do not you go to your bed and hug your teddy bear?" But you told me: "No, I want to hug you," and so saying you were holding strong to me hoping thus to prevent me to send you away.  
 

The innocence of children! It is not wonderful, Sam? and how I could send you away again after I had dissolved so?  
 

  
I soon realized that I could be your mother, because in the same way that you needed me, I was only you. We need each other. I was not your mother, I was your big brother.  
 

  
Sometimes when I realized that you were not spontaneously to sleep in my bed, because you forgot or you for some reason, I was to call you to order. "Sammy, then you come from?" And you happily taking photos, and I raggiungevi attention. Little brat, you already knew at an early age that I needed you.  
 

 

I remember that sometimes, when I fought with my father and burst into tears like a little girl, you hugged me and I caressed her cheeks. Cabbage Sammy had seven years! You realize? You consol me!

 

I have always loved your tenderness, Sam. you are introverted, and apparently also cranky (you know it's so) how many times we had a fight !! I have not always understood and for that I am sorry, too often I have been brutal with you, but you know what always struck me about you? Your tenderness and your sweetness. When you smile your eyes will light up when you stare with that look deeper, I get lost ... I do not know if you noticed how many times am left them dazed to stare. These puppy eyes must have done quite a lot 'of damage when you went to college!  
 

   
I have also always loved the way you abbandonavi me when I embraced. I felt the tenderness of your touch, and also because I felt you needed me. It's something that I can also feel standoti simply close. It's something I can feel, you know? And now I wonder: is this love? This feeling of light and heavy at the same time?  
 It is a sweet surrender?

   
We two are always needed each other. I still remember when I tried to tell you that we had to separate us if we wanted to have any chance against Michael and Lucifer ... and you by phone I almost begged to take back with me. And I told you that, whatever was between us, love, (which even then unconsciously I suspected something?) ... Family. They would have used against us ... and that we were not stronger when we were together ... we were weaker.  
   
But despite this we returned together because we can not be divided. And now after all this time, after years ... I tell you that I said just fucked up. We are strong together! Nothing can destroy us if we remain united.  
   
And a flashback right now as I write, I am struck so hard that leave you breathless: "Hey Sam, you know we're just stronger together," I told you and you answered "true" untie me like butter.

 

You told me that since you were born, you were chained to me ... but I had not yet told you (because they still did not remember) when you were born, and our eyes were crossed for a moment .... Possible that, subconsciously a small part of you still felt the intensity of that truth?

   
My brother. "He is my brother" "I had to do, it's my brother" how many times I said this sentence: My brother? It was like a word that sprang spontaneous and natural lips. And just recently I got to think about this sentence in bold with an underline of the possessive pronoun MY. Mio Mio Mio're mine, Sam, you know it is so, and I am yours. Yours alone.

   
When I danced with you my knees were shaking ... and felt your heart pounding against my chest ... and do bum bum bum. You can not understand how exciting it was to discover that you were excited as I was.  
   
Even in high school I felt more pathetic, yet happier sentirmicisi. and you know that I hated the damn school!

   
Riparlando physical contact ...... I told you perceive the neglect with which you let yourself embrace, it was sweet, it was tender ... but always of course with the taboo of not exaggerate ever with the affectations ... plus we were two men and brethren, and of course are two things , do not go hand in hand together with hugs and kisses, and as we have always been very affectionate and easy to physical contact, we never went beyond a certain threshold .... Veil, was shattered when things changed between us and began our story.

   
I knew it was a sentimental, Sam, but I did not expect that I was just like that. Try to deny that when you grab your face and you overwork kisses everywhere, all over your face, you let me do without resistance.

 

Are you a puppy. A puppy a little 'Caliento, but still a puppy. I can never escape from your attacks, and you take the opportunity because you're bigger than me! And to say that you are the greatest and I overhang height and weight, not counting kg of tenderness.

   
If sex with you is wonderful, it's amazing sleep embraced you. God, Sam, combaciamo like two damned koala.  
   
I love the sound of your voice. Especially when you say "Dean". I think I will continue to hear and feel whisper my name to my caresses during foreplay, makes me tremble with pleasure, to hear you cry makes me feel satisfied and ... .completo. With you.

   
Your scenes of jealousy ... if you even touch with a finger, I eat the hands "I look at you and thought: is it not sweet, and very old, and tender?"  
   
I always think  
   
And secretly I think: God does that never cease to be jealous of me.

 

Sam, you're my brother.  
My best friend.  
My accomplice.  
My lover.  
The love of my life.  
My soul mate.  
The other half of me.

  
 

They can not divide us. They can not separate us. All that great story of fate, the trail of blood and the curse of Cain and Abel.  
Bullshit.

  
Or maybe there was only one choice to make. An inevitable path. We love us or kill us if we could finish.  
And we loved. We chose another .I always.

  
I've also said. I have no choice but if I could choose, I would choose you always.  
I went to hell and I'd do it a thousand times. For you. Only for you.

 

 

  
That day I made love to you as a human, I realized that we were two halves that were to join, to unite and to keep divided, that was the sin.  
I discovered that when we do go into ecstasy slowly, when we prolong the preliminaries.  
I've found that you want to cuddle after sex, like a little girl.

  
Like I said, but I'll repeat it: love, physical and spiritual, with you is beautiful.  
Only with you it is so, Sam.

  
And we also have the same tattoo. It is one of the typical things of sentimental little  couple so fond of you!

 

And since you have made me feel a hundred times already (I find myself humming it when I'm in the shower, when I drive, when I walk down the street ... you realize? I entered the head! You will pay for this! ")  
I will renew  
"Do not ever let it end." never let it end, Sam !!

  
Listen also "My Obsession" Cinema Bizarre.

  
You're the love of my life and  
You're my sweet obsession

  
your Dean

 

 

 

The letter was over. Sam put it aside. Long hair that fell in front of all the hidden face. He did not say a word. Dean smiled and called him "Sam"  
   
Sam did not answer. After a few seconds you hear a sob Dean that Sam was not able to hold back.  
   
"Hey, Sam," Dean said trying to touch his shoulder, but Sam stepped aside and motioned with his hand to wait without looking up.  
   
Dean a bit 'puzzled but decided to wait the seconds passed, and Sam looked up, He kept his head down. She could hear him panting floor, breathing probably broken by a cry that could only imagine.  
   
Suddenly she could not stand it anymore. "Sam, that's enough, stop it."  
   
Sam said nothing and Dean went to him and took his face in his hands forcing him to lift it and studying his face. His eyes were full of tears.  
   
"I did not know that my feelings were so repellent to make you cry," he said, smiling, but slightly worried.  
   
"Stupid" Sam managed to say, his voice breaking, then hugged him.  
   
   
Dean stood for a moment overwhelmed by emotion and emotion that threatened to uscirgli out of my chest, "Hey Sam it's all right," she said, stroking her hair.

 

 

They lay on the towel with Dean over Sam who continued to cuddle and pet it. There was nothing erotic, just Sam had half a fit of tears that had flowed out and Dean tried to make him go to the sound of kisses and caresses.

   
"Dean was beautiful," Sam said, wiping her tears.  
   
"You are beautiful. Our love is beautiful. Not the letter "Dean said softly kissing him on the stomach.  
   
"Is also beautiful letter," said Sam.  
   
"OK as you want. "Dean said, kissing him on the neck.  
   
"And as I am? Beautiful or ugly? "He taunted Dean, wiping tears.  
   
"Bello was not the word I had in mind ... I was thinking more like ... great," said Sam  
   
Dean smiled.  
   
"Do not stop stroking, continues," said Sam.

 

 

 

 

Dean then continue to stroke his back, chest, face. The whole body. Then she rested her head close to your ear whispering occasionally sweet nothings like, "You know that you are the true love of my life, right Sam? You know that without you I'm lost? "

  
Both ended up falling asleep after ten minutes.

  
Two hours later Sam woke up. Dean was waking up to the sound of basins on the neck.  
"Mmmm I can not believe I fell asleep"

  
"A blow to my self-esteem," she joked Dean "Put this on, on which it is almost midnight and we have to hurry if we want to take a bath," Dean said, holding out his costume and tenendogli opened a towel.

  
Sam was still rubbing his eyes shining with sleep, but said mischievous smile: "Do you want to put it you?"  
Dean gave him a playful slap on the head.

  
"Come on boy, someone must take on the towel," he said, laughing.

  
"Why make the effort to put these costumes as if in a few minutes we will considerably lessen?"  
"Damn how many things you take for granted, Sam, you're a pervert you know? "He replied dryly.  
"You're right, I suffer a bad influence," she answered in kind always trying not to laugh.

 

When both began costumes, Dean slips into the water first.  
"Sam, come on, the water is great"

  
Sam looked at him. Dean soaking in the water with wet hair ... he was to be fantastic. Marveled once again the effect that kept him. "You're right ... ehm..hai" he said Sam holding back a chuckle.

  
Within seconds he reached Sam Dean waiting for him, and embraced him instantly.

  
"I'm fine now," Dean said when Sam came back into his arms. Sam said nothing and began to kiss him.  
Dean immediately pulled her legs Sam stringendogliele.

  
Sam smiled. Dean knew that the plans for the midnight swim were not candid and innocent.  
"I always wanted to do it to the sea," said Sam.

  
"Really?" He said Dean while he kissed her neck.

  
"Yes," he replied Sam fatigue, shaking strong hair while Dean had begun to kiss his chest

  
"You have to always fulfill their wishes" she said Dean continued its trail of hot kisses Sam feeling excited above all else and enjoying it under his complete control.

 

 

 

 

 

  
 

 


	22. Lunch with surprise

"THE WHO HAD TOLD NOT TO DO LATE!" Yelled a familiar voice.

"Mmmm" Sam moaned into the pillow.

  
"Come on, Sam!" Said Dean, who with one hand trying to put on his shirt still unbuttoned and with the other he was brushing his teeth.  
"Where are they?" He muttered Sam sinking into the pillow.

  
" would not accept even in the series of economic newspaper a joke like that! WE ARE IN MOTEL. Memories for the case where we should rather be? "  
"Even in a dream world where thou hast turbamente awakened?"

  
"BOBBY'S HOUSE FOR LUNCH! Bellowed Dean ran a hand through his hair "AND WE ARE LATE an hour after he had prayed on my knees to introduce AHEAD one hour"  
Sam had fallen asleep.

  
"SAM" said scostandogli sheets.  
"But Ugh I want to sleep."

  
"This is no time to sleep. You want that Bobby take off the greeting for six months this time "?  
"Six months pass quickly," said Sam, hiding a smile.

  
"This is no time to joke. And I'm hungry, "he said laughing.  
"Do you trust the kitchen of Bobby?"

  
"He said he would make a cake! Move! "

 

 

 

They came to Bobby's house at 15:00, hungry and exhausted for doing everything in a hurry. In the kitchen, Bobby, Crowley and Castiel threw looks grim.  
   
"I'm really sorry," said Sam as a kind of excuse. "We ... .dormito" he said, and Dean did not understand how he could say it without shame. In fact, Sam felt a little ashamed.  
   
"What happened, lovebirds, you did stay up late tonight? The sea was to your liking? "He said Crowley mischievous, but a bit 'annoyed by the prolonged fasting.  
   
Sam and Dean bowed their heads embarrassed up hair, looking sideways Bobby who had not said a word and was tidying up the kitchen.

"Tell me at least who was the more tired of the two, I bet Sam was not it?" He said Crowley inciting them amused.  
   
"Idiot!" Said Dean angry looking Bobby, while Sam after the three meters above the sky which seemed to have been after all the romance of the sea last night, now he wanted to sink three meters underground.

   
"Crowley, by some 'respite and not make them uncomfortable," Castiel said, putting a hand on his shoulder, giving him a meaningful look.  
   
"So ..." he said Crowley interrupted watching Bobby, but then, unable to restrain himself said, "But I want to know!" He protested.

   
   
Dean along with Sam, surpassed the two to reach that Bobby was walking, apparently dusting the windows.  
"Do not listen to Crowley, I ... we ..." Bobby looked at them solemnly, then went over and shook them in a sincere and solemn embrace that left them breathless and they fell silent, then pulled away and smiled. It seemed touched but maybe it was just an impression.

 "In a few minutes the lunch is ready. Stay close, "he said going out in the garden.

   
Dean and Sam remained stunned for a moment, after which Crowley clear: "The old has to tell you something important, which is why lunch"  
   
A Dean and Sam blood froze in my veins.  
   
"No ... it's not a bad thing, right?" Sam asked scared.  
   
"But you say, Sam, of course not. Do not you? "Dean asked.  
   
Crowley looked puzzled. "You have the optimism of an undertaker, guys, you ever told anyone?"  
   
"There is going to die, right? Does not have some form of serious illness? "He asked Castiel horrifying Sam and Dean.  
   
"You guys are too strong, you should do televisione..ve ever told anyone?" Asked Crowley. "However, I DO NOT KNOW. He also kept in the dark myself. "

 

At that moment they heard a noise. Jody Mills went inside with Bobby. She smiled shyly at Sam and Dean.

  
"So ... it's you the news? You are back together, Bobby? "Sam asked impatiently, but both Bobby Jodie scampered off with a mysterious smile out of reach of children.  
While they were waiting for lunch was ready, Dean was sitting on the couch semi conscious, while Sam behind the side of the sofa the plane touched the hair with your fingers, or stroked away smiling.

  
Dean is left to do, and Sam saw that relied to his touch and he liked his touch, and he noticed that he kept his arms as if to hold him back from him. Then won by a very strong motion tenderness Sam lowered his head to give Dean a tender kiss on the neck. Dean without opening his eyes, immediately reacted to the gesture of Sam abbracciandogli your head with your arms, to hold them, stroking his hair flat.

  
Jodie was far from witnessing the scene and said, smiling: "They are so sweet"

  
"Oh yes, the trouble is that they are sweet, little bastards," said Bobby whispered, but jokingly.

  
Indeed, even though they were whispering, both Sam and Dean could hear them, and as Sam and Dean would feel embarrassed and uncomfortable dall'accorgersi Jodie and Bobby were watching them, they would not move. The heat radiated when they were neighbors was like a drug. Li intoxicated. It was stronger than anything. The taboo. Embarrassment. Of shame. And they felt lucky to get near people like Bobby, as Castiel, that they understood and not judged them.  
"They say we're sweet" whispered Dean.

  
"We are poignant and tender as nobody," said Sam back, remembering the words of the letter to Dean.

  
When they sat down was now late afternoon, but the weather that was present, was collegiate, with Crowley who never missed an opportunity to tease Castiel making mischief, pulling hair or fists playful, and Bobby, Sam, Dean and Jodie laughing like crazy.

  
"I do not understand why when they are here, you must do so, and when we are alone, you are ..." Castiel began but left the sentence unfinished because Crowley put a hand over her mouth and apparently displeased terrified.  
  


 

"No, Crowley, Castiel lets talk, as you would in a private, Crowley?" Teased amused Dean.

  
"Yes, tell us, Castiel" Sam said that he was eager to take revenge on Crowley when he joked in knowing details about him and Dean.  
"Is swe ..." Castiel began immediately interrupted by a scream smozzato where Crowley had stepped on his foot.  
Everyone chuckled, even Castiel, see Crowley that turned red as a tomato.

  
"We may decide to install some camera to find out how you are when you think you are not seen, Crowley" Bobby said, and all were surprised of his statement.  
"Old pervert" said Jodie mollandogli a slap on the head playfully general laughter.

  
"Hey, why he can make others uncomfortable and we can not reciprocate with the same currency?" He defended Bobby.  
Sam and Dean roared approval.

  
"Come on, serve the cake, then I have to tell you something important," he announced Bobby  
When it was served cake, strawberries and chocolate, Dean said: "So what you have to tell us so important, Bobby?"

  
Bobby cleared his throat and looked at Jodie silent, then began to tell a story of a few months earlier.

 

"I would not because I said before, in the problem with the transformation and subsequent healing of Dean, and with the fact that then we split, there was not the time ... but ... here, Jodie and I have started to see us , and hanging out .... But with all the problems we had .... Taken as we were returning from Dean human, I asked her a bit 'of time .... And we lost touch for a while '.... He returned unexpectedly to me a bit 'of time after ... it was the period when we were not speaking yet ...  
   
One day rang at my door, I opened it and I saw her, she had a look ... solemn. "

 

 

 

****  
   
   
"Jodie" Bobby said, hugging her.  
   
"I did not expect this welcome," she said smiling.  
   
"Are you kidding? Why? "He asked Bobby making accommodate.  
   
"Well ... it's a little 'no see ... ..a month ..." debuts her taking off her coat.  
   
"Yeah ... well ... it's true, I'm sorry, we were a bit 'thrown in a hurricane, and it was better not to feel a little' ... but it was not because I did not want to see you ... In short .." said Bobby uncomfortable.  
   
"However, I've missed you," he said taking his hands. "Sit down, I'll have a coffee," he said already going in the kitchen.  
   
"I do not think that coffee is appropriate at this time, Bobby" said Jodie standing up suddenly.  
   
Bobby began to become alarmed.  
   
"You did not come here just to see me," he said, and it was not a question.  
   
Jodie shook her head.  
   
"Diosanto Jodie, you want to talk? You're making me frightened. What the hell happened? "Bobby asked, fearing that something had happened. Maybe the bastards demons motherfuckers had done something. Maybe something had happened to Sam and Dean.  
   
Jodie then touched the floor belly looking frightened by his reaction. "Bobby, I'm pregnant," she said softly, looking him in the eyes.  
   
Bobby looked at her without saying anything. He had lost the words.  
   
"I'm expecting a child. A child of your own. "He felt entitled to specify Jodie.  
   
"A child ... .." Bobby said.  
   
"I understand if you do not want ... do not come here to ... .so you did not want and do not want to have children, I just wanted to inform you that ... so I'll keep it anyway, I'm not asking anything, I just ..." said Jodie diverting look, but Bobby silenced her taking his face in his hands and kissing her.

 

They were all shocked and dumbfounded by the story of Bobby. Crowley had even lost my words and all his irony. What's amazing.  
"So you're ... .you are ..." Sam began referring to Jodie.

  
"I'm pregnant ... three months," she said, smiling, touching his belly.  
Hush

  
"You will become father?" Asked Sam to Bobby, his eyes twinkling.

  
Bobby nodded, smiling. "I can not believe you have not said anything until now," said Dean moved.

  
"There were more important matters to think about" Bobby pointed out. "Er, I did not mean ... well, you know ..." he said, turning toward Jodie, but she stroked his hand letting him know that everything was okay and that he understood the situation.

  
"Someone wants er another slice of pie? And wine to celebrate maybe? "Asked Bobby away to hold the emotion, being in front of him when he looked up, Sam and Dean above him and before he could move, they embraced it.

  
"Everything er ... all this honey is making me diabetes," said Crowley in an unsteady voice trying to regain his sarcasm.

  
"Then why are you smiling?" Asked Castiel smiling back.  
"Oh shut up," Crowley said, still smiling.

 

"There's another thing I have to tell you," said Jodie while Sam and Dean leaned to embrace her, "it's a girl," he said.  
"Oh," they said Sam and Dean smiled.

  
Jodie looked at Bobby.

  
"Um ... what I want to tell you is that Jodie ... by mutual agreement we decided that ... .the call Desy"

  
"... It is a beautiful name," said Sam and Dean a little 'uncertain about the meaning that he must have, because it was clear that they had chosen for a reason.  
"Is a tribute to you two idiots, though not deserve it," he said Bobby washing dishes with his face turned.

  
When, Sam and Dean realized that they had chosen the name of their first child according to their names. De as Dean and Sammy Sy as  
Bobby if he found himself back with his arms around his neck.

  
"Oh well, those whining for a name," he said gruffly, and a little 'fun.  
"Is the best thing I could do," said Sam.

  
"Thanks Bobby," Dean added.  
"I love you guys. "

 

Meanwhile, Sam was back at the table and uncorked the bottle of wine they had brought earlier.  
   
"I would say that it lacks a toast, shall we?"  
 

   
Bobby was washing dishes and Jodie could not drink because she was pregnant, then they told him to do it as well without them, and Dean had never liked the wine. "I'm going to beer," he said, Crowley said he was going to whiskey. "Oh that you're whining, ok then Cas toasts at least she" and a toast with Castiel began to gobble floor wine.  
   
   
Dean felt stunned by the immense happiness that all those emotions were giving him. Who had given him.  
He had regained his humanity. He was happy with his brother. They were happy. They could live their love enough to sunlight since the people who loved them they knew the existence and accepted it fairly easily. They were lucky to get past people like that. He was happy for the happiness of Bobby. Cas and Crowley. And he found himself thinking that finally for the first time in their lives things were going in the right direction ....

   
So what was this feeling of uneasiness, of darkness that was falling at the time? What the hell….  
   
He looked at Sam and Castiel also sip wine plan, and a horrible feeling of foreboding bit him in the stomach.  
   
"Sam, Castiel" shouted against all logic.  
   
They jumped, looking, asking a silent explanation.

 

"Dean, what?" Sam asked puzzled  
   
He moved his head slowly, not knowing what to say, without looking away, still feeling terrified and feeling the grip into the stomach to increase volume.  
   
Before he could even say a single sensible word, she saw with dismay Sam and a moment later also Castiel, bend and held his stomach with both hands, and coughing, first floor and then more concentrated.

   
"Sam?" Dean asked starting to get scared.  
   
"Cas?" Said Crowley also worrying.  
   
"What the hell," Bobby said.

   
   
Sam and Castiel fell Ground net.  
   
   
   
"SAM !!!!!" yelled Dean

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise. Bobby returns with Jodie and expecting a girl yyyy * _ *  
> And now what will happen to Sam and Crowley? T_T who knows!


	23. Remember me

Dark………  
   
   
   
Stunning. Blink of an eye and a blinding light.  
   
Sam opened his eyes and immediately heads are not located at the home of Bobby. He was in the hospital, if the vision of the bed and the hospital room was not quite enough for chiarirglielo feeling his body stuffed with medicines and who knows what other crap that they had served up, to let them know.  
   
He must have felt ill at home ... Bobby tried to speak their minds and recalled that he had been drinking wine, a pain fortissim and then the screams of Dean before falling into unconsciousness ...

   
Dean ... because it was not there with him now? It seemed strange that his brother had left alone ... maybe it was nearby. He tried to call him. He did not like the idea of being alone in that place. He began to inquietarsi.

   
"Dean." He called.  
No answer. He tried again.  
   
"DEAAN!"  
   
"Sam?" Asked a woman's voice outside the door ajar.  
   
Sam felt breathless feeling that voice, and hoped to be wrong. He hoped that his hearing had done him some joke ... because it could not be ...  
   
"Amelia ??" said Sam stunned, seeing her arrive.  
   
"Sam! You woke up. I was so worried! "Amelia said, seeing him awake.  
   
"How ... how ... .why are you here?" Sam stammered confused.  
   
"Where else should I be, Sam?" She asked sweetly.  
   
"With your husband," said Sam a little 'hard.  
   
"Oh Sam, you're a bit 'confused let me ...." He Said Amelia trying to take his hands, but Sam pulled the trigger.  
   
"What happened to me? Where is Dean? Where is Bobby? "asked Sam, who was starting to get irritated.  
   
Amelia shook her head "Sam, listen"  
   
"No. It is going to call them. Please, "Sam said, slowly.  
   
Amelia was about to say something, when Bobby came into the room.  
   
"I'm here, Sam."  
   
"Bobby" said Sam raised. "It was the wine, right? Someone poisoned. Wait a second. How is Castiel? "He asked suddenly worried.  
   
" Wine? What about the wine? And as you know Castiel? "Bobby asked.  
   
"Is a bit 'confused," Amelia said.  
   
"Bobby, please, I have a headache," said Sam rubbing his temples. "All I know is that Dean and I were having lunch at home, and I was drinking the wine, when suddenly fell to the ground with excruciating pain in the chest. You must remember that. "  
   
"My home??? Sam, you were you at home with Amelia when you have had one of your usual crisis "Bobby said.  
   
"I confirm. Was fine and suddenly collapsed to the ground before my eyes, "said Amelia.  
   
This was too much. Everything had to be a huge joke. A hoax. They were making fun of him. Or was it a dream. He was dreaming.  
   
"She's having a panic attack. Amelia help me, we do lie. "He said Bobby.  
   
"No! Stand back! Ghhhhhh "Sam gasped, trying to get air from the lungs. He felt faint.  
   
"It's all right, Sam, it's all right. Nurse. Infermieraaaa! "Bobby yelled, his face filled with concern and was the last thing he saw Sam before slipping back into the darkness.

 

When Sam regained consciousness, he was still in the hospital bed, attached to an IV. Bobby saw watching him, sitting in a chair. He looked worried and off.  
   
"Bobby. How is Castiel? All right, are you? "Despite the absurdity of the situation was to make sure that his friend was all right. They were a family, after all.  
   
Bobby sighed. "Castiel is fine. I would worry more about yourself, Sam "  
   
Sam ignored that statement. "Where's Dean? because it is not yet here? "Dean probably would have explained everything, and then he maybe gave a dressing down to Bobby and Amelia for not having explained everything from the beginning. A sudden thought struck him. Maybe Dean was not there because he was giving a dressing-down for Amelia to be coming from them. It would have been typical of Dean. He smiled involuntarily, but stopped immediately because it was really crazy.

   
"Dean is not here, Sam," Bobby said with a funereal air.  
   
" I do not believe it. He stayed at home? Or to the bunker? What the hell is doing so important? "  
   
"Sam, I did not say it was somewhere else"  
   
Sam looked at him and began to feel very cold penetrate to the bone. Maybe he would start screaming.  
   
"Bobby, tell me now what the hell is going on, or I'll scream, where the hell is Dean ???"  
 Bobby sighed. "Died," he said.  
   
Sam looked at him. You felt his breath fail again and Bobby started toward, but Sam stopped him.  
   
"No no no, do it, do it," he said and pressed a hand to his chest. "Tell me what the hell happened to Dean after they have fallen to the ground at your house," he said with difficulty.

 

"Sam, you do not come to lunch with me for months now, and then I do not have a home anymore. It burned after that ugly history with the leviathans, remember? I'm from friends now "  
   
Sam frowned. "I had taken another ..."  
   
"Oh yes? And with what money eh? "He smiled.  
   
Sam rubbed his temples and tried to get on top of that dreadful thing. For some reason horrible, Bobby did not remember that he had been to his home and seemed to have forgotten to even have a home. It made no sense, but if he wanted to deal with them should not be obstinate on this point. Now it was more important to know Dean.  
   
"Tell me about Dean, what happened to him"?  
   
Bobby sighed loudly  
   
   
"Sam ... .Dean died trying to save your life. That ugly covenant he made to heal ... the evidence has not turned into a demon, killed him ... "  
   
"It's not true ...." Said Sam. perhaps he would give stomach really.  
   
"Sam, when I came to save you, I have found embraced, surrounded by flames ... I could only save you time and get you to the hospital ... Dean there was nothing to do. It was his body, you know? "Bobby said, heartbroken.  
   
"You lie," Sam said, almost growling.  
   
"He took fire from inside. His body was fighting the transformation. I'm sorry, Sam ... there are people who are not meant to become demons ... and your brother ... "

 

"ENOUGH WITH THIS COMEDY !!! I remember another story. I remember that Dean is gone for six long months, and that after much struggle we managed to cure him ... and then I remember the following months, HAPPY, together with you, Castiel, Crowley .... "  
   
"Sam, we do not see Crowley for months now, could never be happy with us, because it is RETURNED A DEMON. Sorry, I told you that I was against it from the beginning to those your attempts to repentance. I knew it would never work and it did not help! And what about Castiel, you crazy like you, from the death of Dean "  
   
"You lie! "Sam repeated. "If it is as you say, how come I have these memories eh? I may have not made it all ... I ... I'm not crazy ... "he said, putting his hands in his hair.  
   
"Sam ... it's since Dean is gone that you are no longer yourself. You made this alternate reality where he survived, he is alive, and we are all well, and we are happy, and I swear that sometimes I would really be mad I also like you to see the same things, but not the reality, "he said Bobby trying to console him.  
   
"Bobby ... you can not ... you and Jodie ..."  
   
"Jodie? Jodie Mills? Sam, do not see it for centuries ... "  
   
"Wait a little girl"

Bobby's face transfigured.  
   
"This is even more absurd. You know I have always been opposed to having children ... this should make you understand .... "  
   
"it's a girl. And you'll call Desy. In honor of me and Dean, "he said sadly.  
   
Bobby got up and turned away.  
   
"Why are you doing this, boy? Desy is the girl that TU and Amelia wait. Not mine. "

Sam was speechless. He could not believe it.  
   
"A ... a son ....?" He asked strangled.

   
It could not be. He had never seriously thought about the idea of having children, and that idea was shelved after Dean at all, no regrets. Dean would have meant having to give up and he did not ... .then it was all true?  
   
"You still forget it, do not you?" Bobby asked. "Since Dean is dead, you have continuous crisis in which at times travel to that other reality, and then suddenly you come back polished, as now, and we have to tell you everything again. It is very painful for us to talk again ever Dean, believe me ... anyway, what can I do to help? "  
   
   
Sam looked up defiantly. "Accompany me home. The keys impala I let my brother imaginary "

 

*  
   
"Sam, I can not leave you here alone in the bunker .... ... Already it was difficult to convince Amelia hospital and the doctors who wanted to come back here ...." Bobby told him once back in the bunker. "If they were to hand getting one of your crisis ..."  
   
"Ok ok ... .ti Bobby ...... I wonder just two minutes ok? Two minutes alone. I need it, "she said starting to set off in the rooms and Bobby sighed but let him do it.  
   
   
   
Sam went straight into the room of Dean and when he entered, he had the chills. The coverlet of his bed was different from what I remember the last time .... On the bedside table there were two books and a photo of Dean. Mobile on the other side of the room were old paperwork ......  
   
Open the cabinets with anger. There was no longer a dress. Not even one. Only his leather jacket.

   
He remembered how Castiel told Dean that had they preserved ....  
   
   
She felt confused, lost, could not understand anything. That could not be her world.  
   
   
He collapsed to his knees and began to cry. What kind of nightmare was over?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After MUCH love, arrives the angst !! sorry ççç
> 
> will all be clear later!


	24. There is no orchestra.It is all an illusion

This is the story of a man who take the highway in the opposite direction to the direction of travel. On the radio, a frightened journalist throws the alarm .... "A fool has launched controamano"  
The man who listens to the radio exclaims indignantly: "A fool only? BUT HERE ALL CRAZY!  
   
That's what Sam thinks, and writes in his diary.  
   
   
   
   
   
   
 "Dean is gone. I can not find a trace of him. The world has gone mad ... or am I the crazy against traffic on the highway. "  
   
 Sam had to stop, because while in the answering machine clicked the phone that was in his room, after he had stubbornly did ring vacuum.  
   
"Sam, this is my fifth message. Please lift the handset, I just want to know if you're bene..Solo yesterday you had an 'other of your crisis. Do not make me call Bobby. "

   
Amelia. Sam sighed, decided to continue to ignore it. He knew that he could not do it forever, it seemed most of her clothes had been to his house. It would have to return to pick them up and would be hard to explain, but was determined to do it. That was his life and he could not pretend that it is, he had already tried it once and it had not worked. And what he'd thought about Dean? that story seemed a terrible dejavu.

Dean disappeared again and again Amelia in her life, but this time was more determined. Less desperate then. It would not be overwhelmed by despair.  
   
   
"Sam, come and eat, while I think of a thousand ways in which others avoid your girlfriend" Bobby said in an amused tone.  
   
   
Sam put his pen and diary and looked in the mirror room. It looked horrible. Deep eye of those who have not slept all night. Eyes red from crying and hair bulk. It looked like a bum. At least they were short. About Dean, and even more proof that Dean existed, it was not his imagination, although of course if he took that as evidence, probably Bobby would tell them to him that he had cut himself, or perhaps Amelia.

   
"Sam, you want to move your ass and let them that blessed diary before the dough is cold? You have plenty of time to bask in your cave is dark and handsome. "Bobby called again.  
   
Sam sighed and start in the living room.  
 

   
"Look, you need to do self-consciousness." She told him.  
   
"But piantala.Te and DEAN not you really need to feel more guilty than you feel ... always."  
   
Bobby stopped suddenly as if unable to believe his words. Sam looked at him aghast and ... .confuso? likely….  
   
"Forgive me Sam, I ... do not know why I told you ..." said Bobby mortified.  
   
"It's ... it's all right, Bobby, think to eat now, okay?" Sam said, his voice trembling slightly, taking a seat at the table immediately followed by Bobby.  
   
A moment ago it all seemed normal, but after a few seconds Sam looked at the table a little wrinkling his eyebrows ...  
   
"Bobby, he just you and me to lunch right?" He asked, puzzled.  
   
"Of course, Sam, what questions do you do?"  
   
"And ... um ... why, you have set for five?"  
   
Bobby did not seem to understand the words of Sam, looked puzzled, then he looked at the table and after a few seconds, his eyes widened and his mouth slightly open as awakened from a dream.

   
"Oh, I do not know what came over me," he said, standing starting to clear the table.  
   
"Bobby is all right, we end up eating before ..."  
   
"No ... it is disturbing ok? Let me clear the table, it takes me a minute! "Bobby said, removing the various cutlery, glasses and cymbals.

   
Sam now forget the pasta, followed him into the kitchen as he replaced in his things.

   
"Okay, but how did you miss it ... I mean, from two to five it takes ..."

 

 

Bobby acted as if he had not heard.

  
"Bobby" called him Sam. in his heart he hoped that Bobby remember something of their lives, of their old life and her own.  
Bobby rubbed his temples "I .... not…. I do not know ... that you know that, in the house of my friends are five of us, are used to set the table for that number, and I was wrong ... back to eating, Sam "

  
Sam decided not to pursue, but not returned to his post.

  
"It seems that you have not had much sleep tonight," said Sam, realizing at the time of its deep dark circles.  
"It ... well ... Jodie ... .I called tonight" Bobby said without looking at him.  
"What? "Sam asked bewildered. This just was not expecting.

  
Bobby sighed. "I called about three o'clock at night. I said "Jodie for God's sake, were ages since you did hear, you could wait at least another six hours. "  
Sam held back a chuckle. "And she told you?"

  
"It was pretty nervous, agitated, as if he had a bad nightmare. He began to babble by naming something that you think would lose. "

  
Sam felt goosebumps and asked Bobby to continue.

  
"Well, I told him that surely would have lost whatever he had found and that nothing could be so urgent as to be postponed to the search the next morning, which was to be only a few hours of sleep and the next morning he would have found .... "  
" And then?"  
"Then I think I heard sobs" said Bobby a little ashamed. "I think I've been a bit 'insensitive ... and then thanked me for listening to her and attacked"  
"Bobby, you said what you had lost?"

  
"No. This is the thing that made me not take very seriously the issue ... he said it was a sixth sense ... he felt he had lost something important, but did not know what, only that he felt a great sadness "

  
"And why do you have this ... er ... from sleeping?" Sam asked, hoping not to sound insensitive.

  
" I do not know. Why Jodie called me? I mean, maybe he thinks it's my fault if he lost this thing, otherwise I would have called, and if it is true, that is, if it's my fault really, and now she is crying because of me ...... "

  
"Bobby, but it is absurd" Sam tried to calm him, knowing that he was anything but absurd.  
"Maybe it's crazy, but he called ME and not someone else, after centuries not hear me, for something lost, and then whatever it is, perhaps got to do something," said Bobby exasperated banging his fist on the table.

  
Sam looked at him.  
"Do you think I'm crazy right?"

  
"No, Bobby, I'm the one crazy, remember?" Sam tried to smile. "No, I think that Jodie needs you, right now, Bobby. Go to her. I ... I will manage "  
"I can not leave you alone, you know, Sam."

  
"Bobby, you know you can do it and there's someone else who needs you now more than I do, but first tell me where Cas. I want to speak to us. "Sam said, and fortunately something in his eyes convinced Bobby to go.

  
  


Sam came to the psychiatric hospital where he was Castiel. Why he was there was a mystery, he admitted that one thing made sense in that reality where he found himself.  
It was all very gloomy and depressing. He remembered when Dean himself told him that he hated places like that .... He was right.  
He made his way among patients with the blank stare and the blankly and hoped with all my heart that Castiel was not reduced in that way. He needed it to be polished, it was his only hope ... without him was really alone.

  
Did not take long to find it ... he saw her silhouette sitting at a table sipping what looked like tea ... since the posture did not seem to pay in conditions encouraging, but Sam did not want to surrender anyway without first try.  
"Cas" called Sam hoping recognize him.

  
Castiel turned and looked at him as if waking from a dream. "Sam."  
Cup in his hand fell to the ground spilling any tea on the floor.

  
"I'm a real disaster. Combino less damage from Angel "Castiel said as a kind of excuse.  
That phrase was encouraging, Sam thought that ... remember that an angel had come before ... now?  
"I'm sorry, it's my fault, if I had not scared ...." Said Sam, picking up the cup.  
"Do not worry, as it sucked" Castiel said with a wry smile.

  
Sam looked at him. "Cas, how are you?"

  
"As if I had been turned inside, telling me that they do it for my own good"  
Sam looked displeased. Probably they had padded tranquilizers to keep him calm.

  
"I just ... I can not understand ... if it's for my own good, how come I feel so bad?" Castiel said, his voice breaking and tears in his eyes.  
Sam could not resist the yearning he read in his eyes and in his voice, and then hugged his friend trying to give him a little 'comfort.  
"Did not you say that hug was awkward?" Asked Castiel trying to joke.

  
"Bah ... .stronzate ..." Sam said. Sometimes things happened where you pampered their account of how they played stupid and lose as meaningless things said centuries before, when tragic events really hung over you.

 

"I still remember everything, you know? This is the worst part. And this shows that really happened, but I had read long ago in a book, which we only remember what never happened. "Castiel said after they had sat down to talk at the table.  
   
"I did not know me to read" Sam said at the same time sad and surprised.  
   
"I gave it to Crowley. She said it was one of those typical books a little 'nerd I definitely could have been like. It was the time when we ... "Castiel said.  
   
Sam said nothing. Crowley did not think that was kind to give away books, but was glad castiel remember.  
   
"So the thing is a bit 'complicated, if I had to listen to that book, we only remember what never happened ... but if it was so would remember a phrase that in fact I'd never read, because it has never happened that Crowley became good, let alone bought me a book, and so I should know, "said Castiel trying to get on top of that puzzle.

"I want to help you ..." said Sam, sincere.  
   
"Me? You saw yourself in the mirror, Sam? You're the one who is in urgent need of help .... You look like someone who has an urgent need to be admitted to a psychiatric hospital "Castiel smiled.  
   
"Cas, you promise I'll get you out of here. You must trust me. We will come out either. "  
   
" Yes? And how do you do it? Dean is gone, Crowley well, Bobby does not remember anything about us, and apparently you have a former possessive and intrusive that has returned to be alive and wants to continually monitor you. We can not rely on anyone, and I'm stuck here. "  
   
"Here, of course ... why are you here, Cas? Because only you and not me? "Sam tried to investigate.

 

"Well, I did a little 'of questions and they told me that you were there until recently ... then you have resigned when you started to show signs of improvement ... but they would not give me the number of your room or your medical records ... "  
   
"All this is very suspicious ... but perhaps not wanting to have given me an idea ... .ti thank you!" Said Sam.  
  " For real? Now that's a sorpresa..mi seems to have his head so confused that already only able to give an idea to someone seems to me amazing.

   
"Cas, I have to go now, but will be back soon, okay? And I beg you, do not throw yourself down for anything, do not be persuaded by any of bales that will tell you and always remember who you are, okay? "  
   
Cas looked. "It must be hard for you without Dean."  
   
Sam looked at him and bit his lip and decided not to answer. "See you soon Cas."

 

 

Sam started to leave as soon as that building .. he needed air, but a noise coming from another room stopped him. Really had reason to do so, but decided to watch anyway, going beyond any logic ... he entered and saw a small closet and a girl of about ten or twelve years old with pigtails red rummaged frantically among some paperwork.  
   
"Hey," said Sam.  
   
The girl left everything as if it were hot and looked terrified to look at Sam. had the eyes of a strong green and old as an emerald, and clear as the innocence of children trampled grass to play in the park.  
   
"What are you doing? You should not be here, "said Sam, thinking that however could be the daughter of one of the personal hospital.  
   
The girl looked at him with sad eyes and mortified. He seemed to want to say something ... But it was only a moment, and then ran headlong out the window with the agility of a gazelle.  
   
Sam tried to stop her but did not have time, looking out the window and feel the wake of the perfume she had left. He knew of ancient things. That scent the rekindled deep feelings, but did not seem to belong to that life, in that world.  
   
Maybe he was wrong. maybe that little girl did not want to tell him anything and he was just scared to see themselves caught while trying to steal something ...  
   
But what never had to steal in the damn hospital?  
   
   
To hell ... he had so many problems ... could not afford to have other.

 

 

 

 

"It is all an illusion," said Dean cheerful, pushing the head from behind the curtains of a stage curtain.

  
"There is no orchestra ... but is not this the sound of a clarinet?" Asked Dean accompanied just by the sound.  
"Dean!" Sam said, realizing that you are sitting in a dark theater.

  
"There is no orchestra ... it's just a recording! All an illusion, "Dean said with a malicious smile.  
"Dean, wait!" Said Sam, trying to reach it.  
"You will not save it, Sam," said a female voice.

  
"Jessica! It can not be! You are dead! "Said Sam seeing Jessica a short distance wielding an arrow.

  
"Do you get confused, Sam, Dean is the one who was killed," Jessica said before launching the arrow.

  
"NO!"

  
The arrow had pierced Dean in the chest, that had fallen to earth.

  
"Dean," Sam said, taking him in his arms. "Hold on, now I try and help ...."

  
"Sam ... .. do not cry ... it's all recorded ... there is no orchestra ... it's all an illusion ...."

  
"Please do not die," she said Sam crying.

 

 

 

"Deaaaaaaaaaan!" Yelled Sam awoke.  
   
"A dream. Only a dream "... Sam said to himself putting his hands in his hair.

 

 

 


	25. The comparison with Bobby

Sam spent the whole next day to do research on his life, or at least on his life in that subspecies of alternate reality which he found himself. He searched from top to bottom the bunker looking for photos, receipts that testify the passage from one motel to another ... .voleva reconstruct everything he had done apparently in the strange reality ... if you had not found anything, he was trying TEST , that it was a fictional world, which was the victim of a Jinn. In that case Dean and others, those in the REAL world, would do anything to bring him back. And then there was other evidence. The most important one.

He rang the bell. It was Amelia. Fine. It was on time.

   
"Thanks for coming," Sam said, opening the door, trying not to look at her belly. It was not real, it was not real. He had metterselo that into your head.  
   
"I'm glad you called me and you finally become reasonable, Sam," Amelia said sitting down on the couch.  
   
Sam tried to do everything possible to not get nervous.  
   
"Amelia, I called to talk to ... OUR daughter," Sam said, keeping his eyes down.  
   
Amelia began to get nervous. "Sam, you'll be leaving, right? You can not do this to me again while they are ... "  
   
"Amelia, please listen to me. Last night before returning here, I was at your house. "  
   
Amelia's eyes widened. This just was not expecting it.  
   
"How ... how ...." He stammered.  
   
"We do this for years," she said Sam speaking in the plural, without badarci, only to resurface feel tears in his eyes as he realized that he had thought about Dean, but he tried to reject them "You should not be so surprised that I managed to sneak home you, while you were gone, to take ... THESE "he said, pointing what looked like an ultrasound.  
   
Amelia looked shocked before realizing what it and treated him with a glare and bright-eyed.  
   
"You ... do you realize what you did? Have you snuck into my house ... "  
   
"I thought it was OUR home" interrupted Sam.  
   
"Secretly like a thief, stealing sonograms OUR daughter. You're sick, Sam, you have a complaint about this. "  
   
"But really? I need permission to take the scans of my daughter? So let's call the police together ... so maybe they will be able to explain who issued these scans, ultrasound scans are always if true, because I have my doubts "  
   
"You're crazy," Amelia said, standing up.  
   
"The doctor, Amelia, the doctor. I did some research and there is no Dr. Joseph Christopher Brown lives in Illinois that can have you released these ultrasounds, so I'd know why is his name on that piece of paper? "  
   
Amelia said nothing, dumbstruck.  
   
"You do not know what to say, well ..."  
   
"Do you realize that if it's like you're saying now, the doctor who examined me gave a false name? We will press charges, "he said angrily.  
   
"what? Oh no, I am I denounce you for inventing a fake pregnancy. "  
   
Amelia gave him a slap.  
"Look! I'm pregnant! Look at her! If you do not want this child, you can also say, it'll grow on its own! "

 

 

"son? I thought it was a little girl, "Sam said sarcastically" And excuse me for saying so, Amelia, but already know the sex, you should already be five months, and it would not be so small your belly ... "  
   
"How can you do this to me, Sam? YOU WANTED IT. You have begged me to have this child ... this child, "Amelia cried.

   
   
"Hey, what's going on here?" He said Bobby attracted by the cries.  
   
"ENOUGH WITH THIS COMEDY. It is proof that it's all a farce. I I would never ask a child after the death of Dean, I would have been too desperate to ask such a thing! "Sam said with a shudder to speak for the first time out loud for that subject.  
   
 "Hey Sam, take it easy ok? Remember that she is pregnant 'said Bobby worrying state of Amelia.  
   
Amelia wiped her eyes. "Do not worry, Bobby, I'm going away."  
 

   
"I should have known that they can not compete with Dean, Sam ... I tried, but for you it was never enough, is it? No one can ever match Dean in your heart, "she said bitterly and a little 'sad, before walking away carrying the ultrasound with him.

   
Sam watched her go and said softly: "It seemed ... seemed to speak as if he were reciting."

 

"Good God, but how can you say such a thing, did you see it? He had a broken heart for the misery. You could not go lighter? "  
"Bobby, she lied. The doctor that would release the scans of our son never existed. This means you can have me lied about the whole pregnancy, you realize? "  
Bobby was taken aback for a moment.

  
"I'm sure there's another explanation. We were cheated ... whoever he is, he gave a false name ... do not you think that ... "

  
"No, Bobby, I know. Do not you think I would know themselves to be a father? "  
"Diosanto Sam, are MONTHS who live outside of reality, and not the longer distinguish the dream"

  
"Dean is not a dream, Bobby. We have done something that made us end up in this parallel reality where Dean died shortly after that horrible pact, but things did not go that way, you know it and if you stopped to listen to your side rational and listened to your heart, you'd realize it, "said Sam frantically while all the talk Bobby shook his head vigorously.

  
"NOW STOP. I have always known about your relationship a bit 'morbid with Dean, but I never thought I arrived at this point, Sam ... completely lose sight of the reality ... not to mention the moral part of the issue ... "  
"Bobby ..."

  
"NO. I know it, Sam! I know ... during your ups and downs with your crisis, your swings between one world and another, and another ... a reality I feel delirious and certain things that make you feel ...... just tell me when it began ... when you have begun to fall in love with your brother? It happened only in the fact that there is or even earlier? He knew it? There's never been anything between you two? "

  
"Bobby ..."

  
"I heard you know, at night, that you kept murmuring his name telling him that you loved him. Diosanto you completely lost your mind, Sam. "  
Sam said nothing and looked down.

 

"You and Dean ... well, you realize that it is wrong, is not it?" He asked, looking at him with wide eyes.  
   
"Yes, but it seemed not wrong when we do ," Sam said looking up.  
   
"And we feel, what I thought of this eh? I mean in that reality "Bobby said mockingly.  
   
"You ... for a month no longer have spoken .... ... "  
   
Bobby whistled. "But ... quite realistic as my behavior ...... if a little 'bit.  
And then? "She urged him circling  
   
"You ... you changed your mind," said Sam.  
   
"But really," Bobby said with a chuckle. "And why would I do?"  
   
"Because ... .there were in dying" Sam said with difficulty.  
   
Bobby was silent, surprised.

   
"I rang while we were freezing in a cave ... .you six rushed immediately and you brought us straight to the hospital. And from that moment ... .from when you risked getting lost ... we say that we have forgiven. "  
   
   
Bobby he seemed touched by his words and Sam knew he was thinking on that potential problem, wondering if he would have done the same.  
   
Taking advantage of that weakness, Sam continued: "When you were in the hospital with us ... Dean told you that you promised that there would never have abandoned, and instead you're gone for a fucking month. "

 

"Typical of dean ... to leverage the guilt" Bobby said with a chuckle.  
   
"You asked you to promise that you would not have rebuilt more, we need you, because we did not have any more."  
   
Bobby had tears in his eyes, and Sam moved closer to him: "Do you want to know what did you say?"  
   
"No," said Bobby, but Sam knew that the answer was yes, and he said it to him: "Did you answer * forgive me if I was not there, I will not leave ever again *

   
Bobby was struggling to hold back tears, and Sam said again, "You added too: * how did you two idiots to survive without me, when I was in hell? *"  
   
Bobby looked up and felt the hot tears inondargli cheeks.  
 "II do not know what's happening to me ... I'm crying for a dream, a fantasy ... .vattene on, Sam."  
   
But Sam did not go away. He felt encouraged that he had called dream, not a nightmare. Tenderly embraced him from behind and said, "When you said that Jodie was pregnant yours, she also said that you do not was asking anything, he just wanted to inform you ... you do not you let her finish speaking, and you kissed her . "  
   
"Not true," Bobby said, shaking his head.  
   
"You said you'd call Desy, which was a tribute to us jerks, though not deserve it ... and when you are fooled with her arms around him moved, you exclaimed gruffly:" Well, how much whining for a name. "  
   
Bobby broke free from the embrace. "That's enough, I no longer going to listen to those."  
   
"Deep down you know it's not a fantasy, Bobby .... The other day you set for five, inside you still remembered our lunch. "  
   
"Even with this history? Did I mention that my friends ... "

 

  
 

"The stop only if you tell me where you live these imaginary friends, and especially because you are not there with them now, and do not tell me that you have to take care of me because I do not drink."  
   
Bobby stopped without knowing what to say. "I ... .I ... do not ..."  
   
"You Do not know, do you? You do not have the slightest reason, as I imagined. Bobby will have instilled memories fake but have forgotten the details! "  
   
"Enough! Coinvolgerai not even me in your folly! I will not let you! "  
   
"I charge you, Bobby, trying to think about how you felt when you Jodie had called saying he had lost something. Is your child, Bobby. Even you feel it inside you, no artificial manipulation can erase the love you had for your .... "  
   
"ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!" Bobby still looked shaken but more determined than ever not wanting to hear more.

   
"I tried to do my best, Bobby, but the rest can do so only you. This "he said about writing a ticket" is the place where you found when you were dying. I know I will meditate on my words, and when you're ready, take it easy. I trust you, Bobby. "

   
Bobby looked at the note that Sam had left on the table, as if it were a glowing object.

   
"Where are you going?" She asked.  
   
"I have an appointment with a doctor at the hospital where he is being held Castiel. I want you to give me a check on the ultrasound. "  
   
"Then you should not have let the Amelia took" Bobby said annoyed.  
   
"You think I'm so stupid? After years you know me you should know who you are dealing with me ... two have been held in secret, "he said extracting them from a closet.  
   
Bobby was both amazed and admired.  
   
"YOU, you're a real scoundrel, you know?" He said, pointing a finger laughing.  
   
Sam smiled and hugged him again.  
   
"I wish your reality was true, Sam. I would like it just as much. I saw that you have created an alternative dream for me, and it looks like a beautiful dream, "he said Bobby still hugged Sam.  
   
"It is not a dream, Bobby, is a fantastic reality ... and soon you will see it too," he said, smiling and dissolving the hug.

   
"Please, Bobby, remember that you promised you would not most abandoned" Sam said at the door. He thought that insist on that point by relying on instinct father Bobby had for them, was a great help to force him to give way to the heart, and so it would be easier for him to believe him, and begin to remember ....

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We just want to say that every time I read this chapter, in particular the dialogue between Sam and Bobby, and get some of Castiel and Sam, not to mention the dream, I am moved .... is always heartbreaking for me XD
> 
> Now, some clarifications ....
> 
> The book: The phrase we only remember what never happened - is Carlos Ruiz Zafon. It's called the Navy.
> 
> That book I have it too. Nice, although it is not my thing!
> 
> I think you all know what you think you have lost Jodie, right?


	26. Love and death first part

  


  


*  
Sam before heading to the psychiatric hospital, he still had a bit 'of time ... .so he decided to take a walk to the park for a little distracted' ... .aveva nerves on edge, when the excited voices of kids distracted him. It stopped. A group of children was bothering a kitten teasing him with a stick. They were not hurting but the kitten was clearly terrified. "Small thugs, now see" Sam thought and planning to achieve them cantargliene four, but stopped at the sight of two of them who were jostled by a kind of invisible force that made them fall to the ground, and blew his cap to the third boy .

  
The last two who completed the circle were drawn to the ankle and fell to the ground making a fuss, the mud of the flower near, smearing all. At that point all five boys ran away frightened dandosela legs.

  
Sam was sure of being in contact with something supernatural ... maybe a ghost? Suddenly she saw appear at the exact point of the "mysterious force", the girl he had seen at the psychiatric hospital only yesterday.

  
"Oh ... poor kitty" you feel the murmur Sam. "You must be hungry. Here, take "

  
He bent over the kitten and gave him ham, stroking gently. The kitten purred happy. Why you bring in the pockets of ham, was for Sam a real mystery, and was about to approach her and ask him some questions, but barely had time to catch his eye, when the girl noticed him, that gunfire, as He had appeared.  
Perfect. There were only ghosts to complete the disastrous situation.

  
Yeah, but it was already a ghost yesterday when he met her at the hospital, or after it has become?

  
And above all, how he could deal with this, when he was bigger problems to worry about?  
That little girl had nothing to do maybe something in this whole thing?  
Well, at least it did not seem bad ... .he did miss those five thugs ....

  
You realize? You have not been able to defend a kitten five little children arrogant, did a ghost in your place ... shame on you ....

  
They were thoughts that filled Sam's mind as he finally heading for the hospital, and was in charge of the fact that the walk to the park was anything but relaxing.  
  


  


  


  


  


*  
"So ... .the your ex has invented a pregnancy, you shocked Bobby with history of previous lives, you met a ghost .... I'm stuck here .... Anything else? "  
   
"Not funny, Castiel ... rather it is a real disaster. I suspect we were hit by a Jjinn "said Sam distraught, trying to find a little 'comfort in hot coffee.  
   
"If it were so, in a moment of time will eventually suck the life blood and put an end to our suffering," he said Castiel drinking his third coffee  
   
"It's not funny. And when did you become a coffee addict? You hate this, "said Sam confused.  
   
"In THIS life I am. In this life are also crazy, so I can afford to take drugs even coffee "Castiel said pointing to the new distributor.

   
"Cas, wait," Sam said, holding him by the arm. "I need you to remain lucid. You promised you'd help me, remember? "He looked imploringly.  
   
"Sam ... I'm sorry ... I've finished fighting and you should too ... what's the struggle? Although that was a Jjinn trapped us, we can do? We can be only hope that we pull out ... and they have not yet done ... maybe they can not do it, or maybe we missed and it is true what they say Bobby and everyone else, we really invented all and more ... .. "  
   
"You can not be serious, you can not really tell me you're giving up ...."  
   
"I'm beginning to remember, you know Sam? I remember times in my life that are different from the ones I've had so far ... I do not know if they are true or false, but remember the past months in here, remember that you were there, I remember when you were released, I remember saying that It seemed to feel good, and then you had a relapse, unexpectedly ... remember I wanted to bring you here, but Bobby has interceded for you: after Dean, he said, were the only one he had left ... "  
   
Sam felt surprised when he first gave that slap in Castiel, Dean But hearing his name like that, it was just too much.  
   
"I can not believe you want to leave Dean after all he has done for you," he shouted.  
   
Castiel touched his cheek, seemed to feel a bit 'ashamed and felt a bit' less in a trance before. Sam pulled angrily upon the book that he kept inside the jacket and that he had brought along.

   
Castiel looked at Sam and the book, scared, while the attendants, had witnessed the scene, and rushed to throw Sam out of the building.

 "Among other things, I had come to take that book. I found it in your room ... have not been able to erase it, maybe they have not had time, or perhaps they thought it was not important ... and considered your behavior today, maybe they're right, "Sam managed to shout before who they were thrown out.  


  


Castiel stroked the cover of the book that brought him Sam. It was the book "Marina". It was incredible. It was still there. It was the testimony of their true REAL life.  
   
Castiel read inside page "At that idiot of a former angel who feared God. With hatred. Crowley "  
  He smiled.  
It was the dedication sweetest he had ever read, interpreting well the language of Crowley. How could that be if I was forgetting?  
   
And Sam had they brought. He had done it for him.  
   
And he was ... was stupid. I wonder how he felt hurt Sam, to hear those speeches ....  
 

   
Sam trusted him, had asked him not to leave him alone and he had almost made a mockery of his hopes, had betrayed his trust ... ..  
   
That was why he now had to do something about it ...

  


  


*  
It was now 18:00 pm when Sam is coming back on foot to the bunker. Since Dean was gone, they were gone well keys impala and then goodbye comfort ... Fortunately the hospital was not far away and using a taxi, could then be a little way up alone at home, given that no one had to know of the existence of their secret base.  
He wondered if he had done well to leave the damn ultrasound in the damn hospital. Maybe they all agreed. It was all a gigantic conspiracy. Should not have let Castiel in that place alone. What thought?

  
A Dean course. He was haunted by his memories and the longing to have him back with him, that even knowing their friend in that crazy place, left to itself, was passed into the background. He had also scrambled! With everything that was already passing. What kind of a selfish end-stage was?  
If you really Castiel was giving, was not the fault of the place ... maybe the drugs were being girded with ... swore to himself that tomorrow he would do anything to bring him out of that horrible place, and once out would force remember, whether he wanted it or not ... He wondered if it was a smart move to throw that book ... .chissà if he had come to himself or had simply thrown ...

  
While he was lost in all the talk, he realized that although they were only eighteen, was already quite dark ... and it was raining. The girl who was passing with the skate, however, did not seem to mind it too much and risked seriously to get caught by a car, if it was not for Sam, who lifted the weight from behind, preventing it from continuing and narrowly avoiding a tragedy.

  
At the time of the act to lift though, he had the blinding flashes in the head when he thought he heard sounds and laughter of a child.  
He saw a little girl about five years old playing on a double bed ...

  
wore a flowing purple dress and embraced a woman sitting on the bed also wearing a wedding dress ... the well adjusted the veil ... but you could not see her face and said  
"You're beautiful so much xxxx" and Sam would have wanted the sound were a little 'lighter, why not just managed to hear the name, and he wanted to, because something told him that it was important ...

  
The machine behind the sounds and a wiry little man shouted at the girl: "Hey what the hell are you doing in the road."  
The girl even scared shouted back, "You did not even slow down, idiot" but now the man had already passed.

  
Sam gained from that torpor, looked stunned. It was the girl - Ghost that afternoon. Or maybe not? Could it be a hallucination, to that afternoon?  
He does not know what to say. The child recovered skateboarding saying: "It seems to surf ... ..altro that skate ... .If only stop raining ..."  
"It can not rain all the time," Sam said as reciting a script memorized ....

  
The little girl smiled cunning, as if sensing that he understood, and slipped into a dark alley ... a few seconds later it was gone.

  
Sam stood there without saying or doing anything. He was aware that there would be no chase, it was gone again.

  
That child had played to perfection the scene of "The Crow", the one where Eric Draven had saved the little Sarah, who had threatened to be invested just like that little girl now ...  
He even told the same jokes ... and even sudden flashback looked the same ... .just that, Sam knew, those were false memories were true ... but it was as if he really belonged to him, not really ....  
He thought of the movie ... the Raven ... and nostalgically recalled evenings spent with Dean when they were little, watching him and concern him ... millions and millions of times ... it was their favorite movie ...  


  


  


  


Sam returned with the mind in those memories ...  
It was one of those usual evenings spent to cover the movie, he was ten and fourteen Dean.  
Sam was curled against Dean and looked kidnapped the movie on the couch with his brother.  
 

   
"I want to have a love like this a day" said Sam in a Dean trying to avoid being seen, touched, by his little brother to the scene of Eric and Shelly kissing on her grave.  
   
"Sammy, I'll tell you once ... if you end up killed by a female, i kill you and she and she," he said between the serious and humorous.  
   
"But you can not, because I'll be dead," said Sam amused.  
   
"I'll resurrect and then kill you again," said Dean, giving his little brother a kiss on the head and hugged him stronger. Sam realized now, that this time Dean was really scared the idea of being able to lose in a way like that, and Sam did not realize it simply; Dean had always been damn good to try to disguise his anxiety not to worry others.  
 

I would like to have a love like this one day ... .you can say that his wish had been realized ... he and Dean had sacrificed a million times for other things .... Dean himself had gone to hell for him .... He thought longingly.  
   
  But how did that little girl to know about the movie?  
   
   
He returned home exhausted, and sank into a deep sleep and dreamed Dean ... yet.

  


*  
"We have to stop meeting like this, Sam," Dean said, beaming.  
   
Sam looked at him strangely. He was back in the damn dark theater.  
   
"Did I ever tell you that of the comic sentenced to death, asking the judge to be able to tell a joke before he was killed? The judge agrees and then the comedian declaims: "you know what is the last straw for a Executioner? Failing to kill time. Then the Executioner kills him. Slowly. "Dean continued with a cruel smile.  
   
Behind Jessica Dean it was next to a guillotine.  
   
"They're trying to delete you, Dean ... ..and I can not stop them!" Said Sam ran from him.

   
"Did you know that before the Big Bang there was nothing? Then something must have gone wrong, "Dean said while Jessica had to tilt his head to Dean, ready to run.  
   
"Dean! I'm serious, you have to help me! "now Sam was walking distance.  
   
"Too late, Sam, your brother is losing his head," Jessica said, snapping the guillotine, the exact moment when Sam threw fish on it shouting:

"Noooooo!"  


  


  


  


  


Sam woke up in a sweat, looking at the alarm clock. It was 22:00. He ran his hands through his hair dejected. That horror had to end. He got up and walked into the living room  
   
Bobby awakened by shouts and noise, got up, and found that Sam was trying to put something hidden in his jacket. Immediately he worried and asked explanations.  
   
"Bobby, it's okay, but I have to go somewhere now."  
   
"This was not going anywhere, you're upset, boy; why do not you sit down and talk calmly ok? Put yourself sitting! "  
   
"I can not do it, Bobby."  
   
"At least tell me where you're going!" She said, worried.  
   
"At the cemetery. I need to ... .see Dean. "

   
Bobby was thrilled. "I thought you did not want to believe that he was dead."  
   
"In fact, I do not believe it yet ... but I need to see his grave ..."  
   
"Boy, you're making me afraid ... what do you do?"  
   
" I have to go.."  
   
"Sam, my boy, please do not do anything stupid!" Said Bobby terrified.  
   
"I love you, Bobby," said Sam walked away, without asking permission and took his car.

  


  


*  
Sam had managed to sneak into the cemetery ... had done so many times with Dean, who almost could not hear him the fear of being discovered wandering in the graveyard at night ... the thought of going to that place this time, without him, to visit his own tomb, the soppraffò chills ... .why had come from them?  
He found her in a few minutes. There was a photo on the tombstone, which depicted a Dean laughing, for some kind of joke ... .sotto his photo, a dedication:  
"To my beloved brother, not even death will ever divide us"

  
Sam had artigliarsi face not to burst into tears. It was exactly the kind of thing he would say Sam, but at the same time there was something terribly wrong. a similar declaration of love would never made public ... something so deeply intimate would never have sold off so at the mercy of all. He would never have done.  
He fell to his knees and planted his palms on the ground. It was wet, black and cold as death. He puts his hands inside, oblivious to the biting frost, almost happy to hear them burn. He began to dig in the muddy ground until the flowers carefully arranged on the mound is not reduced to a mass of scattered broken stems, until he had his hands and face covered in mud.

  
He stopped suddenly aware of what she would look in the eyes of an external look. The portrait of pure desperation. He had come to them without even a shovel ... what she planned to do? And then that was used to open his grave? Probably, it was burned as Bobby said, there was nothing left of his body.  
No, no, no, it was all wrong. Dean was not dead. He was giving way, too. And everything was terrible.

  
He thought back to the dream of before. He threw a fish on Dean shielding him with his body, while the guillotine was about to tear it to life.  
Here, death. The death was the only solution. If he killed himself in that reality, the Jinn would let go and would all be over at last. He would be left behind this nightmare.  
He pulled out the pads and water bottle that he had brought along, hidden in his breast pocket ....

  
It took about ten and gulped down in two long drafts, and still with tears in his eyes, he slumped to the grave.  
It looked like a scene between Eric and Shelly Webster Dreven. This was his last thought, before slipping in the dark ....  
  



	27. Love and death - the second part

  
Someone was slapping. He was trying to bring him into the world of the living, to keep him. But he would not, he wanted to die in that reality to return to his real world. Whoever it was that was holding back, she had to stop him.

  
Another slap. They were stronger and stronger, and Sam found himself forced to wake up. The girl. She was slapping. So it was not just an impression. She was really haunting.  
The girl tried to give him another slap, but Sam managed incredibly to stop his arm ... which was odd, considering how he felt weak at the time.  
"Stop, stop, babe, just so," he said.

  
"You're an idiot, you know?" Cried the girl. She was in tears. She was angry, and what is even more strange, also seemed ... ..ferita ... .why?

  
"What are you doing here?" He asked, rubbing his head.

 

  
"And what are YOU doing here huh? Have you come to kill you? Do you think Dean would want this? "

  
So ... She Knew of Dean.

  
"Look, I do not know what you think you know about Dean, but ... .."

  
"I know enough," said the girl. "Drink," he said, holding out a large glass with a dark liquid.

  
"What?" Sam asked without taking it.  
"Coffee"  
"No ... .. please, throw up," Sam tried to oppose. He felt faint.

  
"Is exactly why you have to drink it, kind of a moron! "He said the girl, facendoglielo drink forcibly.

  
Sam did not have the strength to oppose and then agreed to slurp coffee. His stomach began to bubble.  
The girl insisted to get it up, then put her hand behind his back and holding his hand, he did walk. "On walks, one two one two"

 

 

Sam knew what he was trying to do. The people attempting suicide swallowing a mix of drugs, we had them taken over by giving him the coffee and let her walk alone ... so there was a chance that vomitassero that poison ... but why he was doing?

   
"You're a good boy ... .hai as it is fun to walk? if you're good, the next time you teach also run "the girl said, after Sam threw up the first time, and while forcing him to take coffee.

   
"To tell the truth, we need a doctor, but then you risk going to jail if I call. Suicide is a crime not only stupid, "he said always supporting her back.  
   
   
 Sam suspected he was hiding behind the sarcasm to hide the tremor in her voice, but it could also be that he was wrong.  
   
"Ok .. Now, another round, another gift," said the girl as they resumed the walk.

 

A half hour later, Sam woke up, and bosses have fainted. "D-where are they?" He asked, still feeling his cheeks wet with tears. "Battuta corny, but it's something. You're here, in the cemetery, you tried to commit suicide, but I have I taken away. You have been very ill, and I think you're bad ... but even now you can sleep, "the girl said sarcastically, sweetening the last three words.  
"G-thanks," replied Sam.

"Do not mention it, if you want other slaps you have only to ask," he said with a sarcastic smile showing her open palm. Sam's eyes were half closed. The girl came up to him and whispered softly in his ear:

  
"Sleep is, that beauty sleep is that then you wake up ... .scemo, you did not want to wake up more ... .." she said giving him a peck on the cheek.  
"And when you wake up you reach this place," he added by closing his right hand in a piece of paper.

 

 

  
*

  
Sam had been asleep for an hour, then he woke up, and although with the aftermath of what looked like a terrible hangover, but who in reality was far, had fully realized what had happened, of what He had done, and he decided to do what he had told the girl. He left the cemetery surpassing the tomb of Dean, trying not to look at the terrible damage they had inflicted. Only the knowledge that it was not really his grave gave him the strength not to hate each other deeply for what he had done, and yet still felt a bit 'shame.

 

When he arrived at the place indicated, he had to sit for a moment on the beach trying to get on top of all that mystery. He had already been there. With Dean. the sea, the stars .... The letter, the dinner of fish and cheese ... the midnight swim ....  
 

   
   
He drove for three hours to reach the place, and all because the girl had asked him. How did you know about that place? What really knew him and Dean? What it had to do with them? Why she had saved his life? And especially since he behaved as if she knew him?

   
Above all, because he wanted her to return them? The place reminded him moments when he felt really happy, and this now gave him tremendous bursts of pain.  
   
He expected to see the girl appear at any moment, so he began to look for her.  
Realized by not having I never even asked her name. He was always gone before he could do so.  
   
Suddenly he saw ... it was at the feet of the shore, and seemed intent on drawing something with a very large branch, on the sand.  
   
"What are you doing?" He asked.  
   
"You do not see? Design hours ... but the sea is bad ... always brings me the way ... "said the girl. Sam leaned over to look. He had drawn a kind of a clock, but the waves continued to clear it.

   
"You should draw them further away from the water, otherwise you wash them off every time."  
   
"The hours never die really, the sea does not know ... and I will continue to draw them, until he gets tired."  
   
Sam realized that the discussion was delusional and tried to bring it back to a logical sense.  
   
"Why did you come here? It is a source of painful memories for me, "he said sadly.

 

The girl stopped drawing and looked at him.  
   
"No, please, do not disappear again!" He said, trying to stop her, but too late.

   
   
"Saaaaaaam"

   
Sam felt dazed. The little girl after disappearing, was now in the midst of the sea, but nothing was as shocking to hear his name called.  
   
"How do you know my name ??? Who are you ??? "he shouted.  
   
"Come on!" She said without answering.  
   
Sam did. Basically he saved his life. Ghost or not could not be bad.  
 

   
His head was clouded and then he forgot to take off his clothes, which soaked almost immediately. He saw the little girl all dressed up too, he floated belly up in the water, like a dead, or perhaps as an angel without weight.

   
"I can not ... .ti please come here," cried Sam, but the girl gave no sign of having heard him, and did not move.

 

Sam returned to feel disoriented. What was he doing? Why he was back in that place? He wished to be still alive. Maybe if he could do what he had to do, now it would end this nightmare, but no .. he found himself back in that place, SOLO, with a mysterious young girl who made fun of him, which appeared and disappeared without ever tell him what he really wanted .... and at that moment it was all soggy, soaked, pathetic and desperate without a clue of what to do. The discouragement was threatening to overwhelm him again,  
when suddenly you feel something ...  
 

At first it was a little beat imperceptible. A blast, something different ... like a presence, a move that almost did not feel, but it felt ... like a blink of an eye ... a flutter of wings ... thought have imagined it, but then you hear just a physical presence approach him.  
   
For a moment he almost thought it was the girl again, but it lasted only a second. Almost immediately recognized the familiar smell of leather ... a smell he had heard about him so many times to lose count, he had tasted and kissed with his lips and so is his mouth that his hands acknowledged.

   
"Can not be," he stammered, his voice quavering.  
   
Feel the warm hands around his face and a wonderful feeling of warmth and heat he enveloped him and gave him comfort. She tilted her head almost without realizing it.  
   
"Dean ... .." he sighed.

   
He felt the pendant brush against Dean and tickle your neck and you feel happy for that contact.

 

Instinctively sought his arms and saw to hear something physical but abstract at the same time ... he was almost afraid to touch it ... when Dean made himself up to cover her hand with his and draw him closer to him, joining their lips.

   
Sam's heart that had taken kicking and crazy new tears came down her cheeks. Feel the hands of Dean asciugargliele tenderly and then whispered longingly: "Do not cry Sam, please, I can not stand to see you cry"

 Sam looked up and seemed almost to be able to see it. It was clear, then return invisible, and vice versa ... .sembrava that made it hard to remain visible too long ....  
 

   
"Is it really you ..." he said.  
   
"Yeah," Dean said with a smile, looking at him with an incredible sweetness, and kissing floor, romantically, but with a certain desperation, holding her by the shoulders.  
   
"Tell me you're not a ghost, tell me you're not dead," she said Sam hugging him tightly as not to let it get away.  
   
"Sam .... I speak it is hard ... and keep this form ... so this should make you understand that I'm not dead. "  
   
Sam's heart kicked stronger than before.  
   
"I knew it could not be true. But Dean ... where are we? Who did this? "

 

"Sam ... are trying to delete me ... you understand why ... .."  
   
"Oh Dean, I do not know how ... I do not have any help ..." Sam said.  
   
"Castiel, will help ... did not give up ... how do you manage to put things back as prima..ho confidence in you, I trust you, Sam ... I've always had," replied Dean.  
   
Sam did not know what to say.  
   
"I miss you so much," he said finally.  
   
"Oh Sam, too," Dean said, refilling his face and mouth of tender kisses.  
   
Sam seemed now that his caresses were becoming lighter. He noticed that Dean was disappearing, and began to kiss him on the mouth in a frenzy as to not let it go.  
   
"No, not yet, not now," she said.  
   
"Sam ... I can not ... .te I said that I can not fight this thing for a long time."  
   
"Do not leave yet. Stay a while '"he conjured him clawing at his shirt.  
   
"Sam, remember that I trust you," she said before disappearing again.  
   
   
Sam turned around. Dean was gone. The girl was gone. And he was left alone again.


	28. Casey

Castiel had had enough of being in that place. He was not crazy. It was shiny and master of himself, and had no right to hold them, and could not stand there and wait for Sam it did come out. It was the fourth time trying to blow out his powers. Anything. Trouble she had taken away anyone who had taken them in that big mess, so he began to get busy already in the morning to talk to someone qualified and convince him that they had to release it, and it was better that they did right now, but for this, they said that He needed a form a40.  
   
Open a door and found a girl dressed as a cowboy in a swimsuit on the back of a guy in a suit and tie, encouraging him to crawl, "Trotta, pony, trots."  
   
The boy seeing Castiel said, "What the heck ... no longer used to knock?"  
   
Castiel replied: "Excuse me ... I must have the wrong office. Can you tell me where I can pick up a form at 40? "  
   
"There you look like an information desk? There is a map next to the coffee machine! Check it and stop to waste people's time working "  
   
Castiel went away immediately.  
   
"Damn. This is a madhouse ... and my headache is getting worse. But if they think they stop with these games, they are wrong. "  
   
   
   
He stopped suddenly and looked up on the wall. "Here's the map." He said.  
   
"What the ....?!" That he believed to be a map, was nothing more than a map ... .vuota!  
   
"It seemed too easy," he said running a hand over his eyes.  
   
   
"Are you a new one, right?" Asked a guy behind him.  
   
"What?" Asked Castiel.  
She stared at him. It was a cute little boy and from melancholy. He had blond hair and blue eyes like the ocean. Thin and rather tall. Castiel thought he should have about sixteen.  
   
"How long have you been here? I've never seen you around ... "the boy said.  
   
"For real? Yet it seems that they are here for a long ... .ehm ... no, actually you're right, I'm here for a mistake ... I should not be here and I want to be free to go. "  
   
"And you have the form a40? "She asked the little boy rubbing his chin concentrated.  
   
"I was just trying office issuing it, but this map is not me is a big help," he said pointing.  
   
"Of course ... ..what is an abstract painting and also hung on the contrary," he said the boy pointing in turn with an exasperated look of disapproval against staff.  
   
"Ah! So how do I find the damn office allowed? "He asked Castiel.  
   
"Go up to the twenty-fifth floor and ask Casey. It is the guardian and is the only one who knows how to find their way to this place "  
   
"How do you recognize?"  
   
"I can not describe it. It is an insignificant little chap, "said the boy, smiling.  
   
"Ok ... I will indicate to me someone ... with information."  
   
"It was a pleasure, man," he greeted the boy.

   
   
   
"The headache increases" Castiel thought in the elevator, touching his temple.  
   
"Excuse me ... I'm looking for the caretaker," he asked, coming out, a nurse.  
   
"Keeper? Oh, I suppose you talk to Casey. You can find him over there, watering the plants, "she said.  
   
Casey? Nice name, castiel thought absently.

 

Approached. It could not be. He was the first guy to come and in the company of Sam.

  
"Casey ?? "

  
"In person, friend, what do you need?" Asked the boy intent on watering a large plant.

  
Sam looked at both, a quizzical expression on his face. "The guardian are you? Why do not you tell me before? "Asked Castiel.  
"Before when?"

  
"Hey? What's going on? "Interjected Sam.

  
"A minute ago! When we met in front of the coffee machine, the twentieth floor. "

  
"You say that next to the map of the building?"

  
"No ... that close to the framework overturned" Castiel said disconsolately.

  
"It can not be. At Iperuranium paintings are all hanging in the right direction. Maybe it's you to be turned upside down, "he said the always sparkling. While they spoke these words, Sam and Castiel found themselves for a few seconds upside down before returning as before.

  
"ENOUGH! This place is making me blow your mind! "Castiel said, holding his head in his hands.  
"Tell me about it," muttered Sam staggered.

  
"Then you have to hurry to find the doctor, otherwise there will never release a module a40. "The boy said thoughtfully.  
"What about the doctor now?" Sam asked.

  
"The form a40 is a certificate of sanity. Do you believe that a hospital as the serious Iperuranium would allow any crazy to come here to cancel its contracts? "  
"BUT I HAVE NO AGREEMENT SIGNED" shouted Castiel.

  
"Quiet," said Sam, poggiandogli hand on his shoulder. "If indeed it were as you say ... .then why you'd be taking so much trouble for disdirne one?" Casey asked with a ghgno.  
"We give up. Where the hell did we find this doctor? "Asked Sam.

  
"In his study. Right behind that door, "Casey said, pointing to a trap door in the ceiling.

  
"Help yourself with this, Castiel" Casey said, taking a ladder.

  
"I did not remember I told you my name ...." Castiel said, climbing the ladder, looking at him.

  
"Indeed it did not, but how else should I call if not with your name?"

  
"Forgive me Casey. I'm getting paranoid, "Castiel said, smiling.

  
"The problem is not to be paranoid, Castiel. ... But do not be enough, "he said, smiling in turn Casey

 

Castiel knocked on the hatch, but it was useless. No one answered.  
   
"Well?" Asked Sam, who was beginning to lose patience with Castiel.  
   
"Hey, I told you where was the doctor's office. It is not my fault if there is not at this time. Try again later. "Casey said.  
   
   
   
   
"I stumbled into a madhouse," said Castiel Sam, dejected.  
"I know, I'm very sorry Castiel, really. I feel useless. I promise that by tomorrow I'll find a way to get you out of here, and if they do not accept with good, I place a bomb on this place and I blow everything up, "Sam said between the serious and humorous.  
   
"Would you really do it? And maybe you'd blow up all these innocent people? "He asked Castiel smiled sadly.  
   
"Cas, probably even people, as this reality, they are not real ..."  
   
"Damn, you'are really in love," said Castiel. He knew that Sam would never allow that Dean was deleted, if it had been put on the spot would make even an extermination to avoid it ... and this was both terrible and wonderful.  
   
Sam felt a strong stomach very painful when Castiel made allusion to Dean, and quickened his pace, leaving behind Castiel.  
 

   
"Somehow, I can understand it," Castiel said aloud, running after him.  
   
Sam stopped. Without turning she said: "You know that he would kill for this sentence, right?" Sam knew that Castiel did not need that would specify that he was not talking to Dean.  
   
"I know." Castiel said simply. He waited a few seconds and then said: "I have not even thanked for the book, Sam."  
   
"Imagine"  
   
"I can feel it sometimes, you know? Sometimes in dreams ... .ea Sometimes I think I see it, once it seemed even able to touch it, but I find it hard to distinguish dream from reality, now ... "  
   
"I think I understand how you feel. Also I have seen ... Dean. "  
   
"And what did he say?"  
   
"What has faith in us ...." Said Sam  
   
Castiel was silent for a moment, then said, "Sam, why did you come here today?"  
   
"I have an outstanding issue with certain ultrasound ......."

 

 

  
  
  
   
  
   
  
   
  
   
   
   
  
   
  
   
  
   
   
  
   
  
  
   
  
   
  
   
  
   
  
   
  
   
  
   
  
   
  
   
  
   
  
 

 

 


	29. Shanna

Sam had just come from the hospital. He needed to get distracted, and then it was time for lunch. Unexpectedly found the girl that haunted him in those days, dancing all alone in front of a kind of celebration that were in the road with lots of dancing and music. He was dancing to the beat, but he looked melancholy; at first glance it might seem like she were having fun, but at a closer look you could see his eyes dull and staring ...... .muoveva pelvis in a slow, sensual and at the same time composed. anyone would have danced so would have seemed sloppy, uncoordinated, ridiculous. She did not. He had a grace from dragonfly while innocence as a child that made it special. He seemed to have the dance in the blood. He knew only one person able to move as well.

  
Dean. Dean now saw everywhere. He was the one ridiculous.

  
When the girl saw Sam, he seemed embarrassed to have been caught dancing and stopped immediately. It seemed undecided for a moment, then walked over to him, and Sam seemed a bit 'less ethereal of times past, but more real ... ..not know if it was a good thing.

  
"You're gone again. For hours, "said Sam. He would never admit it out loud, but it was starting to become attached to the strange child.

  
The girl smiled, and then say: "Sto DYING di- hunger" shouting the words well.

  
"Then you're invited to dine with me, missy. I hope you do not mind the fact that we would have guests for lunch ... but first tell me your name ... it's been so long since I wanted to ask you. "

  
The girl smiled, conciliatory this time. "My name is ... .Shanna ...."

  
"Wow. A really nice name "Sam said.

  
Shanna shrugged, embarrassed. "Thank you…"

  
"I am Sam, but certainly you will know who I am, since you called me so yesterday ..." Sam said wryly.

  
Shanna smiled again. "Yes…"

  
"I know how you know my name?"

  
"No ..." he replied Shanna sad, but Sam does not relented. She had already endured enough to be inclusive. "So not good ..." he said, shaking his head.

  
"I can not tell you how I know your name ... but ... I can tell you anything else," said Shanna.

  
"Okay ..." Sam agree

  
"But I can not do it in front of other people," said Shanna, with a meaningful look.

  
"Ok ...." Sam replied after thinking a while '....

  
"After lunch, we get out of just you and me and we will talk about everything, confessing our innermost secrets, okay?" Sam said joking but hiding a certain nervousness.

  
"I'm sorry ..." said Shanna

  
"About what?"

  
"Of all the mystery. Believe me, Sam, I'm not bad, "he said mortified, and Sam felt like a strange feeling at that ... like him back to a strange dejavu. A dejavu distressing.  
He looked into her eyes. He did not look really bad and Sam decided at that time to trust her

  
"I believe you," he said.

 

 

 

  
*

  
Shanna was busy eating a veggie burger in part for her, the fried calamari, and a salad while Bobby, Jodie and Sam looked at her curiously and a bit 'surprised.  
"What?" Asked Shanna a little 'uncomfortable.

  
"Burgers, fried calamari and salad, that strange combination" Sam chuckled.

  
"I find it a wonderful combination. You should try it, Sam, "he said, taking the other salad. Andarne seemed crazy.

  
"No, thanks, I'm fine as well. Are not you afraid of being sick to your stomach? "Sam chuckled.

  
Shanna smiled to himself as if he were thinking of something fun, but did not answer.

  
"Where did you say you met, Sam?" Bobby asked, taking another little 'meat.

  
"I did not say ..." Sam said, eating her salad.

  
"Ahhh here, now it is more clear" Bobby replied sarcastically.

  
"We met in the damn hospital dell'Iperuranium" replied shanna

  
"She did not really like that place," said Sam, as an explanation to the silent question of Bobby

  
"And since then we have become great friends. Right, Sam? "Asked Shanna looking up at Sam, worried, waiting for confirmation.  
Sam lingered a po'guardandola and then said: "Yes, it's true."

 

"Boys, because I have the impression that they're hiding something from me?" Said Bobby annoyed.  
"Because you're a grumpy old paranoid" Jodie said, starting to clear the table.

  
"Shanna, why not help Jodie to clear the table?" Said Sam, and Shanna did, a bit 'puzzled.

  
Bobby looked at him again with a question mark on his face, but Sam merely whispering softly: "I want to be sure of one thing ...."

  
While Shanna was back and forth, to take away all the stuff from the table, Jodie began to wash the dishes.

  
"You know, you'd be a good housewife," she said Shanna smiling.

  
"Thank you. I'm sure that you will become one, "said Jodie, being a bit 'awkward.

  
Shanna leaned against the kitchen cabinet, with the intent gaze.

  
"Something's bothering you?"

  
"Yes ... my ... .voglio say, my family"

  
"Oh ... there's something wrong with them?" Asked Jodie delicate.

  
"Actually yes, but I do not know if I can talk about it," said Shanna sad.

  
"Sam knows something?" Asked Jodie continuing to wash the dishes.

  
Shanna turned to stare Jodie and leaders that Sam had said the bare minimum to Jodie

  
and then of course it could not be her to tell him what was going on.

  
"I think Bobby is a good man ... you should give it a chance, you know? I think you'd be happy together, "he said, touching his shoulder and going beyond.

Jodie said nothing, but he thought of those words. Sam just Shanna saw it was going to come back in the room, returned to her seat, pretending not to be left there to listen.  
   
They were still a bit 'in the living room to chat about this and that, Shanna was thoughtful, sometimes watched Bobby and Jodie smiling, but as if he were thinking about something else ... Sam could tell he was in a hurry to get out of them.  
   
*

    
He thought he had drawn a blank. Shanna did not look like a daughter Jodie looks at his future mother lost. He had made a remark about her and Bobby when she washed the dishes, but impersonal observation as if it did not concern them directly. He could be their daughter.  
   
Because everything always wrong?  
   
These were his thoughts when he found himself walking alone with Shanna to the early afternoon ....

   
"You know ... it happens to everyone to make mistakes ... there's no reason to stay there so bad," said shanna watching Sam, and he wondered if he was able to read minds. Maybe it was a witch.  
   
Shanna looked at him. "Come on ... it was so clear that you thought I was their daughter ... .I wonder why these tricks ... you could ask me and I would have said."  
   
"Really?" Sam said looking at her.  
   
"Yes…"  
   
"Well, you are or not ??"  
   
"No…"  
   
Sam snorted and put his hands in his hair. "And then you can know who you are? "  
   
"Sam ... my name is Shanna, and I come from the future ... the year 2029"  
   
Sam was silent for a few seconds and could no longer to speak. Shanna watched him closely to see if he was all right, or perhaps to see if he was going to pass out again, like the time the cemetery.

 "I ... I need to sit down," said Sam.  
   
"Sure. There are steps near the square "pointed Shanna.  
   
   
After about two or three minutes in which both Sam and Shanna remained sitting together, in silence, and Shanna waited patiently for Sam he recovered from the shock, the late Sam finally spoke first:  
   
"That's why your strange clothing"  
   
"How?" He asked Shanna surprise.  
   
"Well ... your clothes ..." she said Sam pointing his purple suit. "I've never seen such a material like silk ... but more valuable ... a bit 'like the princess from Aladdin ..."

Shanna smiled. "Yeah, you know all the fables you ...."  
   
Sam was astonished again, but then he said that maybe Shanna had only made a finding ... could not know such a thing, was getting paranoid.  
   
"So ... he would ... .." did a quick calculation. "Sixteen years ??" he asked, trying to play down the surprise. When he saw her the first time had given him twelve years.  
   
"Fourteen" Shanna corrected. "I was born in 2015."  
   
"Oh ...." Said Sam. His head was spinning. "And why did you come back after so many years in the past? And especially since returning to a time when you were not even born yet? "The headache had returned. He tried to make sense of logic to the whole thing, but it makes logical sense that history had none.

   
"The archangels ..." said Shanna distraught.  
   
"What?" Asked Sam thrilled.  
   
"Archangels" He repeated Shanna. "It was not me to go back in time, they were to turn back time ...."  
   
"Why the hell would do that ??" he asked. It was not possible. After so many years, the sons of bitches would go on to create problems.  
   
"Because ... because ... they have it with me," said Shanna sad.

Sam looked serious. "You can not be serious. You're just a kid girl "prayed it was so.  
"Yeah ... but they do not. They want to kill me, and since they can not do it in my time, they decided to change their past. They want to unsubscribe. "  
   
Sam found the story hard to swallow and had the impression that the worst was yet to hear it, but the word "unsubscribe" him back to mind another thing.  
   
"What's he got to do all this with Dean? Even my brother are trying to clear it, he told me himself. How are you related? "  
   
"I ... Sam, you have to understand that it's not just about me or Dean ... .Many other people are disappearing, and those that remain, are deleted and modified memories about their missing loved ones .... I researched "  
   
"Shanna, if things are really as you say, if you wanted to prevent your birth, then why not go back to the year 2015? Why 2013? "  
   
Shanna said nothing.  
   
"You're not telling me everything. What you're not telling me? "Asked Sam was starting to get nervous.  
   
Shanna shook his head.  
   
"You're not telling me something. Tell me the truth, Shanna. Tell me the whole truth. "Sam repeated, taking her by the shoulders.  
   
"Leave me. I'm not hiding anything, "Shanna said, trying to break free.  
   
"It's not true. MI ARE HIDING SOMETHING. You tell. DEVI. "He raised his voice Sam shook it stronger.  
   
 Now Shanna's eyes were closed and one eye came the two big tears.  
   
Sam immediately felt ashamed of himself.  
   
"No, no, sorry," he said wiping the tears with one hand and hugging her.  
  


 

 

 

*

Now they were in a pub where Sam had stopped to take Shanna a strawberry milkshake.  
   
"You did not have to buy me a cake to be forgiven," said Shanna sucking milkshake taste with a smile. Sam realized that the girl had so much pleasure sweets.  
   
"Hey, just so you know I never feel guilty, right?" He joked Sam. He was starting to really become attached to that little girl.  
   
"Yeah, right ... Sammy ..."  
   
Sam dropped the spoon with which he was stirring his coffee. Shanna looked stunned and speechless, and breathing heavily.  
   
Shanna meanwhile had horrified expression, as if she noticed only then that he let slip a word too.  
   
"Now you do not ... you can not pretend not to know."  
   
"I ... I'm so sorry, Sam ... it's true, you know, and become your friend," she said forlornly.  
   
"Why the hell did not you tell me before ??"  
   
"I did not want you to think it is my fault that your brother is in this situation," she said.  
   
"And is not it?"  
   
Shanna seemed about to cry again, so Sam decided to be softer.

 "All right, all right, just tell me one thing ... whatever it is, is not a thing you did AGAINST us, right?"  
   
"Thing? NO! "Shanna said disconsolately.  
   
"So ... if Dean is in this situation, it means that ... .that we tried to protect you, it is so? Because ... .ti ... he ... we love you, "he said those three words uncertainly softly, but Shanna nodded, without looking into his eyes.  
   
"Wow. It's a lot of stuff to digest "sighed Sam giggling. "But I can do it. If in the future we risked his life to protect yourself you have to be good, and even very special "looked at her smiling.  
   
Shanna smiled, keeping his head down. Sam thought about how he had felt that afternoon at the home of Bobby, he wished that the floor to swallow.  
   
"But something still eludes me ... because the other people? Why bother with Castiel? "  
   
"Castiel is part of your circle now, and will in the future ... has hindered many people .... Therefore it is an obstacle. As for everyone else, I do not know .... All I know is that behind you lived spouses Hopkins. Fifty years living there have always been good people, and in its place there is a wall "Shanna continued, feeling emerge tears in his eyes.  
   
"Is really terrible," Sam said, turning to look and saw that at the top stood the written IPERURANIUM.  
   
"Wait a minute ..." Sam said, realizing only then. "That was why scomparivi and riapparivi ..."  
   
"You got it? Other than ghost. It is much worse "said Shanna sad.  
   
Sam was horrified. "What happened to your parents?" He asked, fearing the answer.  
   
"Do not ask" pleaded Shanna. "I can not talk too much about the future ... I would change the past. I've already said a lot. Suffice to say, it is also to save them that are here. "  
   
Sam was confused and wanted to know more about the family of the strange girl, but he thought it best not to press, and then the situation was already quite so painful.  
   
"Diosanto ... Shanna. I regret so much ... "was a bit 'in silence and then asked uncertainly:  
   
"How ... how ...."

"How much I have left before disappearing altogether? I do not know, Sam, but I know it will not be long time ... .l'altro day on the street I saw one disappear before my eyes. Normal people can not see them because they make so they do not realize it, prepare their minds to remove certain things ... but not work with me because I come from the future. I takes me longer to disappear because they are not part of this reality, but it will happen to me sooner or later "  
   
"Bobby and Jodie does not remember everything that has happened in the last six months ... it is as if someone had removed these memories ... I was beginning to believe that the only crazy in the wrong direction, but then you came. "  
   
"They take away people the memory of their loved ones, as if they never existed. Oh Sam, we have to stop them. "  
   
"Because I remember everything? Because I remember Dean? "  
   
Shanna smiled. "In the case of a feeling so deep and intense ... if two souls are tied deeply ... it's more difficult to remove such thing. You are special and Dean, Sam "  
   
Despite the seriousness of the situation they were in, those words it swelled with pride. He did not want to know what really knew Shanna on the nature of their relationship. Li estimated, it seemed. He thought that their love, had any, was special. Heads instantly as they had done him and his brother to become attached to her.  
   
"Shanna, I promise you that neither you nor Dean you will be deleted ... I will not allow it," he said taking his hands to give him a little 'comfort.

*  
   
It was now late evening and Sam who had not yet decided how to deal with Shanna -He had too afraid of what would happen to leave her solar decided to take her out to a movie at the cinema.  
   
   
"I'm sorry sir, I have never heard of the movie to which you ask ... what kind of film is it?" Asked the conductor.  
   
"Severed heads, people screaming, dwarves on fire ... a horror short ..." Sam said.  
   
"Good heavens, why anyone would want to see a movie like this?"  
   
"What kind of question is that? People enjoy being scared at the movies. "Sam replied.  
   
"If what you want is to have fun, then you can not miss" Bisticci of love ", a tasty romantic comedy that has wowed audiences and critics!"  
   
"We take two tickets," said Shanna to cut short, bored by the discussion.

"But today is Sunday, honey," she said.  
"From now on, every day it will be my love," said the man kissing, lying on a lawn.  
   
   
"Hey, wake up Sam" Shanna said.  
"Um ... where ... what? The film is finished? "  
   
"Yes, and you have slept most of the time ... but do not worry, you have not lost much," said Shanna.  
 

*  
   
"You know, I have the impression that there was something terribly wrong with what we saw," Sam said as they left the theater.  
   
"Now do not go overboard, was a harmless little film" Shanna replied amused.  
   
"Did you recognize any actor?"  
   
"Now that you mention it, no"  
   
"I do not either ... and it is very strange. Maybe I'm not a film critic, but I think to be a passionate ... and what's even more disturbing is that I've never even heard of all the other films on the bill, the actors who play them, and filmmakers who have shot, "he added Sam showing other posters hung on the wall, out of the cinema.  
   
Shanna said nothing, thinking.  
   
"And that's not all. Look at the name of the production of these films! The IPERURANIUM. "  
Shanna stared at the name, shocked.  
   
"The same company that is addressing all those renovations around the city. His billboard hung also over the wall that has taken the place of the house of Hopkins, and now that I think IPERURANIUM is also the name of the hospital where they seized my friend Castiel. This company is behind all this, I can feel it. I was a fool not to get there first! "  
   
Shanna obviously knew of this great conspiracy saw that she had to inform Sam..solo never imagined it was so vast and so had taken hold.  
   
   
"You're putting me afraid, Sam ..."  
   
"Well, because I'm scared too," he said.

 

Sam looked good Shanna and noticed he looked very tired ... despite the concern, was left behind and his steps had become slower ... when he came back to wait for her, as I walked alongside, clung to his jacket.  
   
"Are you tired?" He asked softly.  
   
"Yes," she said, stopping and rubbing his eyes. It seemed to have a sleep attack.  
   
"Do you want ... ... .ehm .ti port arm?" Asked Sam definitely embarrassed.

 Shanna did not answer but went up to him and hugged him, and then raise your torso and knees to rise in his arm, a move facilitated by the fact that it was very light and still a child after all.  
   
Sam was very surprised by the gesture, but softened picked her. Fortunately, he said, he was still a child, was light ... even if was targeting to become higher. And then the car was not far away.

   
As soon as you loaded it in his arms, however, after a few seconds, he thought he heard a sweet song .... He turned to see where it came from and realized that was not really anywhere .... He was inside his head.

 It was really a beautiful song, and identified it as "I do not miss a thing" by Aerosmith.

   
It was really crazy. The instant he took the girl in his arms, he felt a sweetness and a tenderness and yearning at the time was playing that song in his brain ... and if Sam was not stupid, he seemed almost possible to say with certainty that the song was related to the girl, but did not know how ... I do not know WHAT TIME  
   
At that moment there was only the song. And the aching tenderness. And Shanna.  
   
Sam found himself thinking about a 'hypothesis incredible. I stared. Could it ......?


	30. Whose daughter are you

Shanna remained for the night in one of the many rooms in the bunker; Sam not want to she remain alone ... .not now that there was a possibility it was ... .cercava not to think about ... .while put her to bed, reflecting on the fact that the next day he had the answers he needed ....

   
Shanna had explained that as being trapped in a kind of space - time, had no physical needs such as changing clothes, wash ... his body was frozen, until he would be back in his time ... .escluso obviously eating, drinking and other things that were used to his body to keep it alive.

   
He wondered how he could stay at that time without disappearing forever ... he and Dean when they had traveled in time, they could not stay for more than twenty four hours ... he remembered ...  
   
But maybe it was a different situation than them ... it was just a bunch of crazy psychopaths archangels who had changed history ... a bit 'like Balthazar and the story of the Titanic ...  
   
He thought again about what Shanna had said and what actually had been silent ... if the archangels had changed their time, it was impossible that she was still here now. It should just disappear because it was not even born in 2013.  
   
However, reflected immediately, Shanna had told him that she was not like the others ... could not just disappear overnight ... .there would take more time. But why? What made it different? It was just the fact of being part of another time or there was something else that had not told him?  
   
And why go back to 2013? SUCCESS was it in 2013?  
 

   
   
On these thoughts he fell asleep and woke up the next morning, when you feel pull the sheets with violence by Bobby upset.  
   
Sam rubbed his eyes, putting a few seconds to be able to open them. When we saw that succeeded Bobby was in tears.  
   
"Diosanto, Bobby, what the hell happened?" Jumped up.  
   
"I'm so sorry boy, I regret so much."  
   
"Bobby, calm down and tell me what the hell happened," said Sam agitated. The thoughts went immediately to Shanna, Dean, Castiel. Maybe something had happened to one of them.  
   
"I regret so much not to believe you," he said with difficulty Bobby  
   
This surprised him more than any other. He got off the bed and hugged Bobby squeezed back.

   
"I did not throw him the agony, Bobby. The agony of knowledge. But it was necessary "  
   
"I know," he said.  
   
Sam broke the hug and asked how he had returned to his memory and what he remembered.  
   
Bobby said he had left early in the morning to go to the damn cave along with Jodie, and that once there, the images strongly surfaced that seemed to go back to an ancient time ... images of Dean and Sam suffering, slumped over each other ... he shook them, the relief that pierced from side to side as soon as he realized he was still alive, still breathing ....  
   
The mad rush to the hospital .... .He who left the hospital room of Dean with Sam whispered ear sweet phrases, he thought it was sweet to watch.

   
And then, quick as lightning, violent like thunder, came the other memories ... and no longer seemed dating back to an ancient time ... .man they took shape, they realized that they were closer and closer together ... until even to be dating back to '... even before yesterday.  
   
He realized that he had never lived with old friends ... never existed ....  
   
And then he thought about how he had treated Sam, how had told him to be a fool, and felt a deep shame.  
 

   
"Bobby," Sam said, taking him by the shoulders, trying to stem the outburst "Where is he now Jodie? How you took all this? "  
   
"Well, at the beginning she did not believe me and wanted me to shut up even thinking I was crazy," he said, wiping an eye. "Then when I have to listen to part of our daughter, after a while, 'he looked at me with tears in his eyes, looked more and more empty ... and there I realized that was crumbling the blind wall that surrounded her too ... to Then I just had to remind him of when he called me at night, wondering if I knew what I had lost. "  
   
"And what did she say?"  
   
"Let's say that you fall on your knees and burst into tears ... but I took it as a positive sign," Bobby said with a smile.  
   
"Then she remembers everything now," said Sam raised. He wondered, however, if he did wrong to insist ... to awaken the awareness could be a punishment worse starvation ... especially if they would not be able to put things back as they were before.  
   
No ... he was saying? He MUST succeed. To Castiel, Dean, for Shanna ... Bobby, Jodie, for all their other friends, and also to Crowley ... also was a part of the family after all.

   
Sam follow Bobby in the lounge, where a Jodie in tears, sitting on the couch, was struggling with a handkerchief.

 

"Jodie" Sam said hugging her. "How are you?" He asked worriedly.  
   
Jodie motioned him to wait and went on to blow his nose.  
   
"Sorry, stupid question," replied Sam.

 Turned. Shanna was watching pity in the corner ....  
   
"You ... are ... my ... my ... my daughter?" He managed to ask in the end, Jodie, looking Shanna.  
   
Shanna gasped. A question so direct was not expecting.  
   
"No, Jodie," he said. "Sorry," he added.  
   
Jodie looked confused, but he let it go.  
   
"I think I need another coffee." Jodie said.  
   
"Sure. I'll walk to the bar in the square .... Sam, Shanna, excuse, but ... "Bobby beginnings.  
   
"Go tranquil, Bobby, you understand perfectly" Sam encouraged him.

   
Before they closed the door behind him, he turned to Jodie Sam still upset: "Sam, you do me a favor. "He said.  
   
"Tell me, Jodie"  
   
"Find the bastard who did this, and them pay. Because of him, I lost my daughter. "

   
"I promise you, Jodie ... But trust me that you have not lost, come back when it's all over, when we put the world to his normal" Sam tried to reassure her, but Jodie filming crying again and he had just come out.  
   
Sam Bobby looked dejected. Jodie knew how he should feel. There was no certainty that once brought the world to its normal, she would have gotten back again the child within himself. It was still a fetus. He did not know if it would answer the same laws on humans. Bobby looked at it as a kind of excuse, and follow Jodie out.  
   
 

   
"He took it very badly," said Shanna sad.  
   
"She was pregnant, Shanna," he said. He looked at her for a moment with a strange expression that Shanna was unable to identify, and then told her she had to get dressed and go to the hospital dell'Iperuranium. They had a bunch of things to do that day.  
   
Shanna decided to comb a little 'hair and to have breakfast to have a superficial semblance of order, then, although it was uncomfortable to get into that place, he decided to follow Sam.

 

While Sam was driving the car of Bobby and thought back to how he missed the Impala, Shanna looked out the window.  
   
"Sam, you see them too?"  
   
Sam knew he was referring to the dozens and dozens of billboards that read above "Iperuranium"  
   
"Yes, but I'd rather not see them ... this thing, whatever it is, is going faster and faster"  
   
"Do you really think the Iperuranium is connected to the disappearance of Dean and all these people?" Asked Shanna.  
   
"Is the only track that we have ... we have no choice but to follow," said Sam.  
   
He had in fact made some quick research that night, and it appeared that the doctor who was treating Castiel, and the head of the firm dell'Iperuranium, were the SAME person. He moved very, very hung around the hospital in those days. How he managed to do many things at once, it was a mystery. Nobody asked questions, no one seemed strange. There was something rotten about this.

 

Sam and Shanna arrived within minutes at the hospital, and Sam withdrew the ultrasound she dropped days ago.

They were false. She had always known, in a sense, but know for sure it was something else. He looked back at Shanna.  
   
Shanna stared at him puzzled. "Sam ... but ... ... .I'm wrong or you're disappointed?" He asked, squinting, his voice uncertain.  
   
Sam replied immediately: "No ... of course not" and then return to lay eyes on her, and turning over his head again. "What are you thinking?"  
   
Shanna stared at him, slightly opening his mouth in a kind of awe and genuine understanding. "Oh ... I ... Sam ... you ... ..credevi .. that ..."  
   
"Stop babbling."

 

Shanna stopped saying anything. She looked at him with a kind of awe mixed with contentment, Sam stared at her. Shanna's lips curled into a smile and her eyes sparkled. Sam thought he feel a touch of pride in his eyes.  
   
When Amelia had told him that she is pregnant, had immediately seen as a horror that he hoped it was not true ... certainly not because he hated children and had never wanted to be a father, but ... but Dean loved more than anything else, and simply he did not want to betray him, and this sounded like a betrayal, from any angle you looked. Despite this, he was fond of the strange little girl, strong and fragile at the same time, ironic and sweet at the same time. Just the idea of being his father did not seem more so terrible.  
   
He tried to wake up from that kind of torpor. Now a problem had been sorted out ... do not know if they were archangels to manipulate the mind of Amelia to ensure that lied and falsify something so important, or ask someone to do it for her ... .semplicemente was not the thing more important now.  
   
Castiel was now important to pull out of that damn hospital, they needed him. And to do that he needed the damn form a40. He would have guaranteed him for Castiel.  
 After all he was sane, they had no right to detain them. He would have pulled out.

 

He stopped to ask the doctor to a secretary ... ..

  
I'm sorry, Mr. Morton, but your name is not on the list, "she said looking on the computer.

  
"Is what I'm trying to tell you ten minutes ago ... .not are expected, but I need to talk to the doctor who is treating Castiel Novak, this is an important thing."  
"Then you just have to make an appointment. Without precise instructions I am not allowed you to go. I am sorry"  
"I did not get to this point, but you leave me no choice. I'm Officer Morton FBI. Do not make me come back here with a warrant and uniformed officers for an issue that could be solved quickly and well more discreet. "

  
"Mmm. You could say it before, "said the secretary looking badge.

  
The secretary told them that the doctor's office was on the 34th floor.

  
Sam was puzzled. Trentaquattreesimo? Last time when Casey had shown them the doctor's office, they were at 25 floor! He had perhaps deceived? However it was useless to come back to it now.

  
As they continued, Shanna saw nervous and tense up more and more. He wondered if it was a good idea to take it below, then he said that they were just going to take Castiel, not to fight a nuclear war. They would come out immediately.

  
Just took the elevator, he saw Sam Shanna enter the desired floor and almost shouted: "Shanna! Your hand! It is becoming clear! "

  
Shanna was horrified. "It had never happened before ... I am always become transparent so full, not apart."

  
Sam realized that she was scared. And indeed there was to be frightened. This change could mean that his disappearance was becoming somewhat definitive; This meant that they had even less time than they thought. He tried to calm her.

  
"Do not worry, I will not let anything bad happen to you. I have some experience in rescuing maidens in distress. "

  
"And you've saved all?" Asked Shanna sad, looking at his hand.

  
Sam knew Shanna knew very, presumably everything about their lives, and did not expect a real answer.  
"No," he said sadly.

  
"You could not choose another time to be honest?" Shanna asked leaning on the walls of the elevator. Sam would have fallen if he had not sustained.  
  


 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me, but the chapter is very long and I found it best to break the part of the explanation for the next chapter. Have patience: 3


	31. We only remember what never happened

The elevator stops at the desired floor. The doors opened in front of the doctor himself, who was waiting for them and invited them to sit down in his office.  
"I am the agent of 'FBI Robert Morton. She is with me, "said Sam indicating that Shanna shrugged. "I'm sorry I insisted that way with his secretary, but it is a very important thing."

  
"Do not worry, Mr. Morton, here to Iperuranium have no secrets to hide. We are honored by your visit. My name is Noah Wright and administrator delegate of a business, well, I say, a respected physician ... and i am also a you fan, "he said, shaking his hand.

  
"I Excuse me, but I'm afraid I do not understand"

  
"How about if I'll explain in front of a tisane?"

  
"I would prefer a cup of tea," said Sam tense.

 

 

*

  
"So, what were we talking about?" Noah asked taking a seat at his desk.

  
"To me, I think. But I did not come here for this. I came to get a form at 40, the certificate of sanity for Castiel Novak. Your a patient. You see, one of my colleagues, and it was locked up here by mistake. I assure you that is very healthy and continue to keep him here would be cruel. "

  
"I understand, I understand. Well if she says she is very healthy ... I have no reason not to believe her, Agent Morton. You are an example for us! Fight alone against the madness of this crazy universe, bringing order out of chaos and light in the darkness! "

  
Alone?? Sam thought.

  
"If you say so," she said scornfully. He was getting? By now it was clear that the staging of the badge and the false name he had not cheated. Probably he knew who he really was. Shanna saw that fidgeted in his chair and gasped. He would never have bring she there.

  
"Oh, not say i, but our system analysts ... and saw how much I pay, I hope that not mistaken!"

  
"Analysts system?" Asked Sam rubbed his eyes. "According to the research we have done, with your interventions have improved the degree of stability of this universe to the extent of a point and a half percentage ... a really impressive result considering that it was achieved with your own strength"

  
Now Shanna was trembling visibly. Sam took the initiative. "Shanna, I think you should go home and take care of that little matter we talked about before coming here ... what do you think?"

  
"Yes, yes, I think it's a good idea," said Shanna, doing to get up and walk quickly toward the door, but the doctor waved lazy hand bolted the big sliding door of the office, which had been left ajar.

  
"Here is not leaving no one, until I say so," he said quiet.

  
"What looks exactly your damn business?" Asked Sam altered, shifting his gaze from the door to the doctor.

  
"We do more or less what you do, but we operate on a larger scale. Let me show you a short video to help you understand "in doing so took a remote control and switched on a screen on the wall.

  
Screen stood a woman dressed in a formal way, he began to talk about the universe apparently suspended. It looked like a advertising.

  
"They say that God took six days to create the world and the seventh he rested ... and this was his mistake! We at Iperuranium never rest! "He said with his magnetic smile.  
"It would be unfair to say that the operating software of the universe is a flawed software, but it is undeniable that its launch has been done without a proper debugging"  
§ elimination of program errors, in computer jargon

  
"But what the hell is he talking about?" He asked Shanna  
"I have not the faintest idea," said Sam.

  
"Take the case of humans ... creatures capable of extraordinary works ...." She continued the woman.  
Campeggiarono screen images of beautiful statues of angels

  
"... .But Even unspeakable horrors"

  
The images changed showing bombing, and later a statue of the Virgin Mary weeping blood.

  
"The man is a machine perfect genetic potential, heavily penalized by its irrationality and headed for an inevitable self-destruction ..."

  
Screen campeggiarono other devastating images, some depicting the horrors of Nazism .... And cops pounding blooded innocent men in the street .... "But all this can be changed ... a better world is possible and we can offer it the Iperuranium."

  
Camped paradisiacal image of what looked like an earthly paradise  
"Want to know more?" The woman asked.

  
Then the doctor turned off the movie with the remote control.  
"So what do you think? Those marketing office are of the opinion that a good advertising spot should intrigue without giving away too much, but I am afraid that the message is a bit 'too tight'

  
"In fact I have ideas more confused than the first .." said Sam

  
"To put it in simple terms, the company's mission is to defeat the Iperuranium entropy" said beaming  
Sam had a shocked face.

  
"The human irrationality is a programming error that disturbs the operating system of the universe ... the world is full of dreamers, murderers, madmen, prophets, revolutionaries, comedians, artists and bizarre types of each species. Here the Iperuranium we have developed an upgrade that can erase those mistakes and ensure a safer, pleasant and functional place to live "

  
"I bet it's something that has to do with my hand, right?" Asked Shanna showing transparent hand, trembling, but courageous.

  
"All the missing persons ... .diosanto was you ......." Sam said. "But how could you do it ... ..only parche have the power of life and death over ... .." she trailed off.  
"You have imprisoned the parche and have changed the past." It was the conclusion of Sam.

  
"Well well well, your intelligence is not at all overrated." He said the doctor.  
"You have changed the fabric of parche. it is madness! "

  
"Sam, Sam, Sam .... Allow you and your brother to ruin the world for that abomination that you refuse to protect so assiduously, THIS would be madness. "  
"That's enough, I do not care to know your absurd delusions, I just want to know what does my brother and Shanna especially in this. It's just a little girl, "Sam said while Shanna trembling from head to foot, trying to get up.

  
"Ohh, it's much more than that," said the other with a cruel smile.

  
"Not so fast, little girl," he said blocking and paralyzing in midair while Shanna tried to get away, and scaraventandola the wall across the room.  
Shanna let out a meow suffered collapsed to the ground, suffering.

  
"SHANNA" yelled Sam running towards.

  
"Let her go. You are not ci'entra nothing. He is an innocent girl. Why do you have so much to her? "He said desperately holding her head in her hands.  
"That being is far from innocent, Sam," he said.

  
"But maybe not I told him eh? The girl is not told you the whole truth, Sam, "he added always with his cruel smile. "So does that mean I'll do it," he added, folding it up from the ground again with a movement of his hand and holding it suspended.  
"Let her go!"

  
"Sccchhh" he said. He took the arms of Shanna, who could not resist, it was paralyzed by the strange invisible force, and put hands of Shanna on Sam cheeks, who wrong-footed, not even tried to oppose.

  
Sam was instantly filled with flash fast, but clear as crystal clear water, as the sun. Like a mirror.

  
He and Dean who held her up together, a bundle of just two months. Both they were smiling. And the bundle smiled at them.  
He who, taking advantage of the absence of Dean for two days, for the investigation of a murder, he had decided to paint the room for the bundle, hoping that Dean liked that surprise.  
On his return he opened the room full of pride, but Dean instead of rejoicing, suddenly turned pale.  
"How did you come to mind?"

  
"I wanted to surprise you"

  
"How did it thinking of using the red? Red for the little girl's room! You know the red for what you use, to excite the bulls! You know the red color? It is the color of blood, the color of violence! Shanna will open the eyes and around her will only see blood blood blood "shouted Dean.

 

"Do not you dare treat me like this! I wanted to make a beautiful thing! "  
   
"But because the red, why?"  
   
"To not do so either pink or blue, the red because now everyone is using it, because it's funny, too, here."  
   
?? Why it is cheerful? Why is cheerful ?? Why it is cheerful! The color of blood is cheerful! You do not understand anything, do not understand anything .... "Dean yelled, and went to their room by closing the door on him.  
 

   
Sam was amazed by these images. Was this really the future that awaited them? No ... ..- she prayed - not for them ... they loved each other ...  
   
*  
   
He spent another flash and Sam realized that he was referring to the morning after. Heads now that he and Dean slept in separate rooms ... .seppe thoughts that perceived by that version of Sam, that was the first time ....  
   
He saw his future himself peel back the layers of red paint that had begun to put on the walls of the room and repaint it with green paint ... .. you're feeling her heart.  
   
At one point he saw the dean of the future get behind him and accarezzargliele piano.Il Sam's future continued to brush, and said without turning around. "Go away, Dean" in and wiped one eye with the back of his hand.  
   
Dean did not answer and took the brush from the hands, gently. Sam did not resist and if you let him slide by hand, but did not turn around.  
   
Dean was not discouraged. He turned him gently, looked at him, and pulled him close, kissing him, incorniciandogli her face with her hands.  
   
Sam returned the kiss with frenzy, passion, and love, almost clawing the shirt. They moved into their room, and it was with all these three things together that they made love that morning. Wildly, possessively, erotically ... but inside there was so much love.  
Dean Sam confessed that most of all had been upset by the color red, because it reminded him of when he drank demon blood and it had angered ... was wrong, but did not have to treat it like that. Sam heads and forgave him. Dean said, however, that continued to think that that color was not suitable and Sam agreed with him.  
   
"I love Dean"  
"I love you, Sam"  
   
At Sam's mind he thought he heard those words too, and his heart warmed.  
   
   
*  
   
   
   
Dean saw that did hear "I do not miss a thing" through the Walkman to a Shanna three years in his bed, while stroking his hair. It worked. The girl smiled as she slept. Sam looked at him tenderly in the doorway of his room.  
   
"What's up? Not as good as you, with fairy tales, and then it seems that the rilass "Dean began catching up, but Sam shut up with a kiss.

 

 

 

*

  
He saw the flash that surprised him so much, that evening he met Shanna, with the skate in the rain.

  
He saw the little girl about five years old playing on a double bed ... was wearing a purple dress fluttering and also embraced a woman sitting on the bed wearing a wedding dress ... the well adjusted the veil ... but you could not see her face and said "you're beautiful xxxx

  
Only this time the sound was better, and he recognized the name of the woman where Shanna was referring. "You're beautiful Jodie."  
Jodie. Jodie is married with Bobby!

  
This time he saw Jodie moved smile and hug the child.

 

  
*

  
Another flash. Shanna who wrote in his diary. He wrote of how around age eight, when all things are disgusted, it was almost ashamed of his "parents", silently or out loud, often told him that was the result of the sin of an unhealthy relationship, corrupt, unnatural, and allowing that she was born had committed the most heinous crimes that they could never do, which was even worse than the fact that they were together.

  
She was convinced that their relationship was some form of obsession which both were clinging to the fear of being alone, and that the tragedies and grief in their lives to have helped unite them more viscerally to what the situation was not lost on them hand. A new year, to his ten years, when Sam and Dean told him all of their past, of how Dean had gone to hell for Sam, how whatever they did they found themselves increasingly toward each other, not how just held it in my arms for the first time, felt proud as ever had happened in their lives, Shanna wept. But it was not until they showed her the letters that were written years ago, that really moved ... as he read, he stopped on the phrase:  
"This is the Love? This feeling suddenly light and heavy at the same time? "It was not until that day that he had the gift of being breaking the dullness of his thoughts. He was conceived in love, and until then had not noticed.

  
Sam was shivering and his eyes filled with tears. She was his daughter and Dean? but as ... as it was biologically possible ???

 

  
*

  
He saw himself, Dean and Shanna ten years, cuddled on the sofa, watching the movie "The Crow" and smiled ruefully through her tears. How many times had stunned with the movie. Indeed how many times they will do in the future. He was not surprised that most knew those lines by heart.

 

*  
   
 Another flash. Shanna saw down from the rides, running towards them, with a little pink dress fluttering, and sbaciucchiare cheeks Sam and Dean in a gesture of tender affection. It looked bigger. He must have had maybe twelve.  
   
 

   
"Okay, that's enough," the voice of Wright brought him back to reality and away the hands of the girl from him.  
   
A phrase book that Crowley had given Castiel said that we only remember what never happened. Acquired a whole new meaning now that sentence, Sam thought.

Sam still had tear-stained cheeks. He hastened to compose himself.  
 

   
"And so ends here, this comedy" Wright said, smiling.  
   
Sam looked at Shanna. She was crying softly and said, "Sam, forgive me, I did not want to lie to you."  
   
"How ... ..as you can? Two men ... can not bear children ... at least not together. What was that, a curse? A spell? "Asked Sam hoping not to disturb the sensitivity of Shanna.

 "Well, imagine our surprise when we discovered that SOMEONE thought that mix together your DNA and that of Dean, was a good idea," he said, smiling with contempt Wright.  
   
"Why go back to 2013? Shanna was born in 2015, "said Sam, holding his head began to spin.  
   
Wright smiled. "I suppose that you did not see in the mind of Shanna. Perhaps the girl is now a bit 'deboluccia to work overtime, is not it, darling? "  
   
"Cut the crap and speaks clearly!" Sam is altered. Now even the legs of Shanna began to become transparent.  
   
"It will mean that I'll tell you. Your dear frugoletto Shanna was not the ONLY abomination created by your stupid circle, "she said Sam approaching.  
   
"What??? Dean and I have perhaps had a more ... "  
   
"Oh no no no, Sam. I mean at first. BEFORE Shanna. Shanna was born in 2015, but in 2013 there was another birth is not permitted by nature! It is not your fruit and Dean, but of Castiel and that sort of homunculus who has already created a lot of problems between the demons and angels, Crowley. "  
   
"What ????" This was just too much to digest.

   
"You will understand .... An abomination is already quite indigestible meal to be able to digest, let alone two, "she said emphasizing it with pointing fingers.  
   
"Casey ...." Muttered Sam.  
   
"BINGO!" Wright said, beaming, clapping his hands. "Apparently you do not have much imagination for names, because you need to mix YOUR. S as Sam, as H AN as Dean Winchester, CAS as Castiel and Crowley as EY. Can you imagine anything more pathetic after the fashion of tattoos together in pairs do you use? "  
   
"So it was for him that you have stepped back to 2013."  
   
"Bingo again. Casey would never have been born, as well as Shanna. Subverted the natural order of things, and for that I and some of my co-workers decided to implement this little rebellion ... we say ... we have turned a blind eye to your report, but this was really unacceptable, "she said again.

 "You still have not said how it was possible such a thing," he said Sam trying to get up and feeling her knees give way.  
   
"Oh, it was not your choice, Sam. even you and your brother, and those idiots of your friends that you carry with you, you would be so blasphemous .. obviously more than you are already. But I think I've already consumed too much time in the explanations. What good is talking yet? I'm tired, and then I think the little Shanna miss just now .... "He said, taking his hand transparent. "The software you have classified as a harmful element, my dear, and is proceeding with your cancellation this plane of reality ... but do not worry, it's an entirely painless. Besides, no one will suffer for your demise, because no one will remember most about you ... .It will be as if I had never existed .... "  
   
   
"A HORN!" Yelled Sam.  
   
"THIS STORY ENDS NOW"! He said throwing her hands around his neck.  
   
"Uh," moaned Wright, taken aback.

 "I do not know, but now you shall go back Dean and all this damn company has done away and leave me alone, Dean, Shanna, my friends, and even Casey, I was clear ???" repeated trying to choke.  
   
"Ouch. Calm down ... Sam ..ti are in obvious confusion, "Wright said as he held him to the ground.  
   
"That is normal, since you were drugged" smiled malignant.  
   
"C-what?"  
   
"Sam, what's wrong with you?" He called Shanna.  
   
"L - the head ... my head is spinning ..."  
   
"You'd better sit down, Sam ... you have unknowingly ingested a very strong sleeping pill," said Wright.  
   
"M- .oooooooooh bastard ..."

 "Sam !!!" Shanna called him, trying to support him as Sam felt weak.  
   
"I'm sorry ... M- ..Shanna ... .." he said slumped to the ground.  
   
"NO! Do not forsake me, Sam! "  
   
"You promised that you would have saved me," she said, and his blurred face was the last thing he saw Sam before dark.

 

 

 

 

 


	32. Something that escapes you

Sam woke up after an indefinite time on a comfortable bed low shot. Open your eyes and looked around confused. Was inside a room oddly shaped, with strange signs and a large sliding door ... .presumibilmente that was a room featured Chinese ...  
   
   
"Where the hell ...?"  
   
"You're safe here, Sam. You have nothing to fear, "said a female voice coming from the big door.  
   
"Amelia?" "Sam was stunned.  
   
   
Amelia was wearing what looked like a Chinese kimono, it was not for the small detail that seemed to narrow by at least three quarters, leaving legs uncovered. Completing the circle wore showy high-heeled shoes. Everything was out of tune like a punch in the eye.  
   
   
"How did I get to this place?" He asked, still stunned.  
   
"In fact you never moved ... all you see is only a holographic projection of computer-generated Iperutanium ... .I do not have that same part of the program ..."  
   
"Dean was right ... ..it's just an illusion," said Sam, trying to touch Amelia and seeing that his hand pierced his chest from side to side, like a ghost. "Bzzz"  
   
"You're not the real Amelia ...... .I have been led to believe that I had betrayed, stabbed in the back, with that horrible story of the child ... bogus. As did not love her more time, is a good girl and did not deserve to be dishonored in this way just to pay the game to an illusion .... "Sam said with contempt and bitter.  
   
"We prefer to define it as a preview of what's to come ... a place of peace and harmony in which everyone will be happy ...."  
   
"It is what they say all the fools, and criminals."  
   
"Think about it, Sam, do not you like to live in a place like this? In a world that has no need of a hunter to defend him from the madness, monsters? "  
   
"Yes, I'd like to ... but your price is too high," said Sam.  
   
"I'll make you even realize you have it paid ... you just have to let go and allow our program to recode your memory ...."  
   
"Why are you asking me for permission?" Sam asked sarcastically.  
   
The parody of Amelia seemed taken aback.  
   
"There are scruples to erase the memory of Dean from the mind of all those who knew him, but ask my cooperation to do it with me ... ..because?"  
   
"L- the Iperuranium keeps you much consideration, Sam ... do not want to disrespect"  
   
"You do not think seriously that I believe it, do you?"  
   
"My programming does not allow me to discuss these issues."  
   
"Hell, I've had enough of talking to an answering machine ...." Said Sam trapassandola with a sharp movement of the hand and making it disappear with a "wooosh"  
   
"And I had enough even to be here," he said, opening the big door, but paralizzandosi suddenly. Ahead of his, out the door, there was only cosmic space. The universe.  
   
   
"This can not be true ... if we were really in space, I'd be dead for at least a thousand reasons ... it's all an act ... it's all an illusion ..." he said Sam stretching one foot to throw underneath.  
   
"I would not," said a voice behind him, holding him by the arm.  
   
"Who ...?" Sam turned beginnings.  
   
"Our offices are built in a quantum space with unlimited access to every corner of the universe ... unless you not want to try the experience of dying in outer space, the strongly advise you not to take another step!"  
   
   
   
He was a distinguished man, with thick hair and mustache blacks. It seemed somehow different from Wright ... .Sam leaders who perhaps was even more crazy and dangerous for him, and also that leaders also must have something in common.  
   
   
"Stop ... .ormai I discovered your deception ... the iperuranium is only a game of mirrors, the trick of a magician."  
   
The man did not answer.  
   
 "You may be using hypnotic suggestions mass, or perhaps you have put in the water supply of hallucinogens citizen ... but none of this is real!"  
   
   
"Maybe it's not real, for now ... but it will become very soon, when I will take the testimonies of thousands of worlds that will benefit with the satisfaction of our services ..."  
   
"Thousands of worlds ... you're telling me that you are aliens?" Sam asked sarcastically.  
   
"We're just businessmen, Sam, nothing more. "He replied the other smiling.  
   
"And what am I saying? ... Aliens. "  
   
"Let's assume for a moment that I believe you ... if you are really able to do what you say ... why did not you simply wiped off the face of the earth, as you did with Dean and the others?"  
Sam tried to bluff .... he knew that if he had asked, was there any possibility that this man would have lied ... so instead he had some ability to know what most wanted  
   
"Look, Sam .... perhaps limited to people and from the brain so small as you, it is difficult to understand, but ... the whole world consists of abnormalities ... and our computers have established that take time to be resolved in a satisfactory way .... "  
   
Sam's face was quizzical.  
   
   
"Miss Shanna, for example, is one of these abnormalities," he said throwing open with a click of a closet hands, which turned out to be inside the small Shanna bound and gagged, and terrified.  
   
Sam made immediately and rushed to her, but the man stopped him.  
   
   
"Without them .... I said, Miss Shanna is one of these anomalies ... but you and Dean, you are something unique! Our software was not able to unsubscribe or rewritten ... ..for what we tried, it seems as though there is a mysterious force that pushes you to continue to resist ...... "  
   
Sam inwardly breathed a sigh of relief ... then Dean was still alive ....

   
He looked at the side of Shanna ... sometimes became transparent, sometimes returning colored ... .there was definitely something strange ....

   
He looked on the wall in front of him ... and then to the other side of the walls ... were full of small gizmos ... ... seemed counters.

   
   
"What are those aggegi?" Sam asked. They were really disturbing.  
   
"Ohh ... .servono to quantify the countdown of the time remaining to the people before disappearing ... .of usually take less than a day ... the weak ... .quelli strongest manage to hold out for a day and a half," he said an evil smile.  
   
   
Sam found it hard to understand how they worked those things ... .because they were campeggiati letters or numbers ... but by symbols, which continued to flow inexorably ... two of them came to an end, and they stood still only a few seconds and then start the hustle of Sam could be the next poor victim  
   
It focused on two small counters neighbors, who seemed impallati to a certain code and did not seem to want to know unlock.  
   
Knew that this was what his and Dean. and they were firm, thank goodness. Maybe they had an angel somewhere that protected them.  
   
"The only choice we had was to seek your cooperation, or kill you ... but the Iperuranium is a company, not a gang of cutthroats," the man continued.  
   
  "Right ... you you just get delete of the people, not killed," said Sam, throwing him a look of contempt, and then pausing to look Shanna.  
   
"You're taking the issue the wrong way, Sam," she replied the man.  
   
   
At that moment another person, from a side door without asking permission. Sam thought that this place was definitely getting too crowded for his liking, then saw her face and the boy's face turned pale.

   
"What is it, Sam? seems like you've seen a ghost, "he chuckled what be identified as Adam, his brother. Or maybe its parody.  
   
"Do not you want to greet your brother, Sam?" He spurred him the other man, watching Adam.  
   
"You ... .you ... .you ...."  
   
"Hang up the phone, Sam. seems a busy phone "Adam said with his drawling voice, the same as he remembered.  
   
Sam swallowed saliva and then said: "I had already realized that you were a monster ... but after what you did to Dean, Shanna ... after you've even pretended to be my ex girlfriend pregnant, I never thought that you would pushed further still ... .usare the image of Adam ... it's really .... "  
   
"Thing? You think .....? "He chuckled the man, but Adam interrupted him with a wave of his hand, seriously.  
   
"Please, Glock. Now you have to leave a few minutes with my dear brother .... "  
   
"There were these orders ... .the orders were that Sam Winchester would be killed if he had not managed to convince him ..." he tried to argue the other.  
   
"I know what are the orders ... but see, they sent me directly to settle the matter," said Adam.  
   
Sam tried to pull away again while the two were busy discussing, but Adam paralyzed him with a wave of his hand. "Not so fast."  
   
Sam fell dead weight, groaning, on the floor.  
   
"You're a bad boy, Sam ...." Adam said again with his drawling voice. Then he turned back to Glock: "Now you should go, Glock ... let me talk to my brother. Son family things. It is one thing PERSONNEL. "Adam said, emphasizing the last word with a hint of bitterness.  
   
"Mpf. Alright then. But then you see the face with his superiors "said the other.  
   
"I Am you just settle this matter."  
 "Do not be long," said the other, closing the door behind him  
   
Sam felt irrationally raised, and knew he should not. Whatever the motive that drove Adam to act like this, it was clear that he had not friendly intentions. Mainly because of how they had left. He felt helpless as ever, nailed to the floor. In those conditions, Adam might do to him what he wanted, and he would not be able to defend themselves.  
   
"Well, Sam. Now the two of us we would do a good talk "Adam said smiling.  
  



	33. Family business

Adam approaching plane to Sam, looking down, putting as much contempt as possible in that expression. He was dressed all in black, in suits, and Sam irrationally nervous that thing more than anything else ... what had become his brother now?

  
"You came out of the cage ...." Sam managed to say.

  
"Of course I'm out ... .not sure thank of you," said mollandogli a punch.

  
Sam moaned in pain. The blow broke the sudden pressure magic that had Sam pinned to the floor, and rolled to the side.  
Suddenly you feel like Adam thrown back by an incredible force, which made him into the wall, moving it away from Sam.  
  
Dean.

  
Suddenly he became visible, he hastened to go check on Sam. "Dean. He moaned Sam.

  
"It's me, Sam," Dean said raising his chin, checking his face. He shook his head. That idiot had made him bleed lip.

  
"Touch my brother again, and you will regret it , son of a bitch!" He shouted at Adam, crouching against Sam, holding his head in his lap.

  
"Yeah, I forgot that this is your exclusive, real Dean?" Adam smiled mischievously.

  
Dean gritted his teeth, suppressing a growl.

 

 

*  
   
   
Castiel knocked on the hatch that Casey had told him the day before. Strangely someone answered  
   
"Next." Listen.  
   
"S- Hello. My name is Castiel Novak "he said entering.  
   
"Dr. falken. Stephen Falken. "  
   
"They told me to turn to you to make me a release form at 40, the certificate of mental health."  
   
"And you have given correct information ... but I'm afraid of not being able to meet its demand," said the other, shaking his hand.  
   
"And why?" Castiel's face was amazed.  
   
"For the simple reason that she is crazy, it seems obvious."  
   
"Does not it seem a hasty diagnosis?" Castiel asked, frowning.  
   
"Not at all. We are all aware of his prolonged and painful labor with madness in his previous life ... "  
   
"What? How does she know ... "  
   
"And even that sad episode with the leviathans, I suppose"  
   
"Only angels can be aware ..."  
   
"Many of us have not forgotten, Castiel"  
   
"What? You ... it's all a conspiracy of angels to make me pay, by chance? Blame me but never mind my friends .... "  
   
"Castiel, Castiel ... this has nothing to do with her."  
   
"Oh?" He said Castiel confused.  
   
"As for the form a40 it is required only if one of our clients wants to cancel a contract with Iperuranium, this to ensure that a decision of such importance is taken only by people in full possession of their mental faculties ..."  
   
"Yes, they had me already explained ..." Castiel said, tapping his head, "but this thing has to do with the fact that yoy have judged me insane without even knowing me?" Hoped he would not have pulled back out of those stories.  
   
"Because no sane person would ever want to cancel the advantageous services of our society. It seems obvious! "Said the other squinting.  
   
"BUT THIS IS ABSURD!" Exclaimed Castiel angry.

 

 

 

*  
   
   
   
"We're not here to talk about my relationship with Sam, I suppose," said Dean annoyed.  
   
"Not really," said Adam, "But let me ... .i think that distract you ..." he added, 

approaching the open wardrobe where Shanna was closed and turning it 360 degrees as if it were a mobile library, hiding it from view of the boys.  
   
"Adam, I beg you ... we are your brothers," said Sam.  
   
"Interesting diversion Sam ... ..but you see, you should use it long ago ... now he expired." Replied smiling  
   
"So all this is a revenge ... ..vero? revenge for not having pulled out of hell? "Dean asked annoyed.  
   
Adam did not answer moistening lips a little.  
   
"Adam, it is right that you know that Dean tried to get you out of there ..."  
   
"Sam ...." Dean began.

"No, Dean, must know how things went ....."  
   
"It should not have tried it enough then, as he pulled out only YOU, right Sam?" He asked again Adam.  
   
"I tried ... but Death told me that he could pull out of them only one person," said Dean mortified.  
   
"And you have now given up, Dean is not it? you immediately give up ... but then there are brothers of series A and series B ... of course for your dear brother Adam, you would not be become a demon, it is not so ..? "he asked scornfully.  
   
"I'm sorry…."  
   
"Already, go ahead to say ..."  
   
"How ... how ..." Sam asked.  
 

"As I came out ??? Not sure thank of you. I believe I stayed for two years in the cage ... .imprigionato in the body of Michael. Sometimes I lost knowledge ... at times I became conscious again, and so on, every day, for two fucking years, in a fucking hole !! Have you any idea what it means to feel your body being torn apart by the devil himself again and again and again .... ?? It was a fight at 360 degrees ... never stopped those sons of bitches! I must admit that at least we've been right Dean, not wanting to allow your body to Michele. "  
   
Dean looked down and said nothing, Sam seemed very dejected.  
   
"At one point, when she thought I would rot down there .... Someone pulled me out .... "  
   
"Who?" He asked Sam.  
   
"Someone who has many reasons to be angry with Crowley ... and with you ... then imagine when you have allies together ... when he learned of his relationship with the angel, decided to take revenge by creating an evil clone, thanks to its DNA with to Castiel.  
   
"Even the demons and angels have a DNA?" Asked Dean stunned.  
   
"Of course, otherwise how would they live?" Adam snorted. "Of course they have it! Although it is a bit 'different from humans, of course ... .well anyway wanted to create a clone thanks to their corresponding DNA .... With the intention of goading him against Crowley ... and destroy it. He thought he would be a move and sadistic fun goading him against the result of his most intimate love ... .proprio that he had wanted to be loved above all else, it would be destroyed by his own conception. "  
   
".terribile Is ..." Sam said, as Dean listened in disgust.  
   
Adam had turned around and could not see his expression, his tone seemed indifferent, but it was not amused.  
 

   
"I guess something went wrong ...." He deduced Dean.

"In fact ... Oliver was naive ... let his guard down, and Crowley, somehow, managed to recover what was his, shortly after birth"  
   
"What happened to Casey?" Sam asked hesitantly.  
   
"Ah, you know Casey? Well ... .comunque grew up with Castiel and Crowley ... even if in childhood was the subject of strange powers which the demons have always tried to draw ... looking for it everywhere, proclaiming their new messiah .... It reminds you of something, Sam? "Adam asked, smiling  
   
"What about Shanna?" Sam asked trembling.  
   
Adam sighed. "Oliver had a main enemy, as well as Crowley, Dr Christopher. For years there has been the war, and when Christopher found out about what he had done with the DNA of Castiel and Crowley, Oliver decided to do the same with those of your own. "  
   
"But this is absurd!" Dean snapped.  
   
"I must admit that is a bit 'as psychopathic thing ... but the doctor wanted to be sure there would be someone powerful enough, at his level, can fight the result of an angel and a demon, when this would reveal their true EVIL nature. When it would inevitably be passed from the dark side. In fact he loved in their own way. He wanted to protect you. What an idiot. "  
 

"You have not yet said what is your role in all of this ...?" Dean said tightening increasingly Sam and feeling his forces falter.

   
Adam glared at him and looked at him for a few seconds in a corner of the room, a bit 'rough, then replied, "when Oliver pulled me out of hell, he did not for kindness. It was a demon .. "  
   
"Bales. The demons can not pull out ... no one. "  
   
"Maybe hell no, but the cage, and then again, he was a demon POWERFUL. He pulled me out of the cage, but required conditions. I should become his puppet. "  
   
"And you accepted?" Dean asked.  
   
"Of course not. I ran away. But now I had become ... say, crazy? You know what makes hell, Sam ... try to think to stay there two years, instead of UNO. "He said sadly.  
   
Sam and Dean looked distraught and with tears in his eyes, and Adam saw it.

   
"Now you would not want me to believe that you are sad for me huh? I do not believe. Save this comedy, "he said making a gesture with his hand, clearing his throat and looking the other way.

"Anyway, I ended up in an insane asylum ... hear voices in my head, I could see things that are not, flash hell ... and then I could not get out of bed .... Oliver was insistently every few months, saying that he could get rid of all the agony, heal me ... if only I had spent on his side ... I said, "look what you've had to sacrifice for these angels, and how you have paid? Your own brothers you have turned your back ... you can not trust anyone ... pass on my side and I will take all this agony ... heal your body and your mind, and each time I sent him to fuck off. "  
   
"Why?" Asked Dean.  
   
Adam was silent for a moment, then replied: "I did not want to have anything to do with this age-old struggle between angels and demons, they had already ruined his life, had it all to me."  
   
"Balls" said Dean.  
   
"Do whatever you want ... now does not matter ..." said Adam.  
   
"If what you say is true, because you are part dell'Iperuranium and work with these people that has been persecuting us?"  
   
"I think you misunderstood me ... I meant that I kept saying no to Oliver, and I did it for two long years, which coincided almost to the birth of Shanna ... and then I've done more ... I succumbed. Oliver was happy to take me with him, especially after learning even the birth of a child ... .. "  
 

"How did we get all'Iperuranium?" He asked Sam fatigue.  
   
"Ohh ... .voi believe that ... it was us? Fun "Adam laughed.  
   
"As? You ... do not ...? "Farfugliarono confused Sam and Dean.

"The Angels!! The Angels!! They were they, my naive boys, turned a blind eye to your relationship and that of demon and angel ... but have not been willing to accept that the fruits of your sins were born, and that they lived. Some of them have made a deal with Oliver, an alliance of convenience that would bring an advantage to both sides .... They brought back the time, and would erase Shanna from this world, and on the other hand, Oliver could get back Casey, would be his. "  
   
"There's something wrong in this story ..." said Dean.  
   
"Indeed. Those motherfuckers they forgot to add the details of the operation ... is true, Casey passed on their side, but because they DELETED memory ... it was discovered that the primary objective of the angels was not only clear shanna, but creating a company that wipe out people! All those damned their computers would be classified as anomalies, would disappear, just as Casey ...... wanted to create a kind of utopian world ... they felt God .... "  
   
"But they said that ...." Sam began.  
   
"I know, and here was the trick .... Oliver said that they would return Casey, and so they did, but they forgot to add that later would die along with shanna and other ... we were so committed to focus on the elimination of Dean, we have not paid attention to the fact that Crowley also was making the end .... "  
   
"Nothing Shanna, nothing Casey .... the two fruits of sin eliminated ..." muttered Sam.  
   
"Bingo," said Adam.

 

 

 

*  
   
   
"BUT THIS IS ABSURD!" Castiel said.  
   
"You're wrong, Castiel, is only a paradox of logic ... ..and if you were in possession of his mental faculties, would understand it very well. Now is kind enough to allow my nurses to do its job .... "  
   
'They appeared instantly behind Castiel scores of nurses in scrubs, mask over his mouth and the headset on his head. They were disturbing.  
   
"No, let me !!" shouted Castiel while nurses abbrancavano it all together, to force him to put in a straitjacket.

   
   
"Resisting will not help, Castiel"  
   
"YOU DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHT TO DO SO!" Said wriggling.

 

"It seems that you are inundated with work, Cas," he said a voice resonant, powerful as a speaker. Castiel recognized as the voice of Crowley, turned to see who was from a large glass square, he could see his face gigantic, like it was in 3 D.  
   
   
"CROWLEY! HELP ME "she pleaded to the ground, while the nurses continued to tighten the laces of his shirt.  
   
"I can not, Cas, I have been deleted, remember?" He said beaming. "Now it exists only in your mind. Not bad. Knew how much free space there is in here ... "Crowley added, beginning to dance.

 "Stop it, Crowley" said Castiel annoyed, while a nurse held his head crushed on the floor.  
   
"Pack it? You say that I should give me to the garden? You should do it, rather ... maybe you would help you check some good ideas to get out of this mess, "said Crowley seriously.  
   
"In short, you can know what you're talking about ??" asked Castiel while nurses made him get up. Now his arms were immobilized and stuck to his shirt.  
   
"I'm saying you have to use your brain, Cas ... .altrimenti we both lost," said Crowley. In square glass window they could be seen pieces of Crowley detached from their body ... on the one hand you could see only the mouth, the other only the chin and so on.  
   
A Castiel suddenly came illumination.

 

 

*  
   
   
 "So the angels have allowed all this? I can not believe that now they have become the bad guys ... "moaned Sam.  
   
"It was not always so, after all? And the best part is that you speak so much of demons ... "Adam chuckled.  
   
"But to be honest I have to say it was a close community to want this thing ... they were all in agreement, but there was anyway because they failed to stop them ..."  
"Adam ... before talking to Crowley, did you call it" demon "but he no longer is ...." Dean said.  
 

  
"He will return to be very soon ...." Adam said without another word. He paused to look at Dean, who continued to hold him Sam. Sam seemed to take a bit 'of relief in the arms of Dean, the other against it seemed about to collapse. Without explanation he withdrew abruptly from the arms of Sam Dean.

 "I would appreciate not being forced to attend the yours effusions. Is embarrassing; not that clearly amounts to you. "  
   
Dean did not appreciate the gesture and tried to remove him from Sam staggered to attack Adam, but the other stopped the arms of Dean back.  
   
"You should be relaxed, Dean, do not you see that you do not reggi standing?" He said prior to nail him to the ground, looking at him with an air furious.  
   
"What, you want to kill me or kiss me? Because you know, you're not my type, "Dean tried to be ironic, and gotten an answer a punch from Adam.  
   
"I'm not like you," said Adam. A Sam seems not he saw Adam in a tone of revulsion or disgust, but a sort of regret ... possible?

 

Dean though stunned by the punch of Adam, with his eyes still clouded managed to grab his arm. Adam tried to free himself, but Dean was interested in a strange scar that marked the arm, forming a small straight line from wrist to mid arm. Follow with your finger the outline of that line, and then looked at him in the eye again. Adam gulped.

   
"I've made during the long periods of hell that I went through the asylum. I felt I was going crazy. I wanted to get it over, I took a razor blade and ... but they are noticed it in time. I still do not know if it was a blessing or a curse. "  
   
Dean let go of his arm slowly, looking at Adam with a look of sadness, and Sam saw the eyes of Adam reflexively become vacant in response to the look of Dean ... he seemed to smile as if the concern of Dean had heated but it was something so short that Sam wondered if he had imagined ... if in fact suffered Adam stirred, changing expression, and altered saying:  
   
"I DO NOT WANT YOUR COMPASSION. I do not know what to do! "  
   
It was an absurd idea ... .Adam don't care anything incest, was just angry with them because they had abandoned. Irrationally feel a touch of pride. At the bottom was a form of selfishness that characterized all Winchester; the world could well disappear, but the important thing was to remain linked to each other, and Adam was no exception. He could not control a smile.

   
"Apparently your brother like to see you beaten. Dean. "Adam said smiling mischievously, noting the smile of Sam, clutching painfully Dean's shoulders, as if to breaking them.  
Dean stifled a gasp, "I like this your vein psychopathic" he added, passing the legs and Dean shouted. It seemed as if the bones were about to break.

 "No! Leave him alone! "Cried Sam, and noted that in the meantime, Adam had turned to check their meters and it seemed to have lingered on to Dean, who after a few seconds that seemed to be back on the move, returned blocked.  
   
It was confirmation that expected.  
   
"Adam, you're not a murderess," he said. It did not seem a question, and even Dean turned to him, surprised.

 "I think that will change your mind very soon," he said Adam going to take a gun from his desk drawer and pointed it against.

 


	34. Castiel back himself

"Dr. Falken, I assure you that I'm not crazy ... Give me a chance to prove it," he asked breathlessly Castiel.

"Sure, why not? It passes a simple logical question to which a fool would never know answer ..... But promise me that you will fail, if escort will leave without making a fuss in a cozy padded cell."

"If you answer correctly, you are satisfied that i am of sound mind and then it will form the A40, leaving me get out of here! "

"Perfect. Here is my question: will manage to pass the examination, Mr. Novak? "

"How the hell should I know ??" asked Castiel dismayed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

*

  
"If you really want to kill us, why all this melodrama to save us?" Sam insisted, careless gun that Adam pointed at them, or perhaps in the corner behind them, who knows.

"Sam, but what the hell are you talking about ???" asked Dean agitated. That situation made him nervous more than any other, and the cryptic phrases of Sam do not help.

"Never mind, Dean, do not you see it? Your brother is delirious ... ..funny, since in theory you're the one who is going to be canceled, "Adam said contemptuously.

"Before you removed Dean from me... I believe the justification fiction that do not want you to watch our effusions, until I saw your eyes darting from the counter by dean and my counter repeatedly; then I realized, "said Sam, while Adam had started to laugh as a sign of teasing, and Dean turned to follow the expressions of Sam and Adam, puzzled.

"It is what you have done all the time, right? You have blocked counters by me and Dean, to keep us from vanishing at the speed of light, as has happened to all the others .... "

"Is that?" Dean asked, turning to Adam. "

"What??? You do not want to listen to this crap? "Adam replied in kind.

"Enough of this comedy! You have taken away Dean from me because was giving me his life energy, thanks to which I was a bit 'better, but by doing so he was losing it, you you noticed and you dragged on. "

 

Dean was completely blown away by the words of Sam and watched Adam open-mouthed in surprise. Adam on the other hand tried to stop it, altered: "These are nothing but the very large cr ...."

"Then you've made sure to cause him physical pain, to make sure that his body would react to the attempt to erase ... the pain .... this was the way "

"Now stop that," he growled softly Adam.

"Maybe even my first slap was planned ... .." Sam continued relentlessly.

"I SAID to pack it in!!

 

Sam became more serious and said sure of himself: "No, you shut up, Adam ... .I noticed as you keep looking at that door . You Hear them too, right?  The sounds of struggle ... a fight . Is happening something downstairs ... .. it's over, Adam ....... "

"Sam, do not provoke him," he warned Dean.

But Adam did not answer and Sam realized that he was still trying to hear what was happening below and seemed almost paralyzed as Dean.

"Maybe you'd better go alone ... and if his accomplices were stopped by Castiel? After all you do not really need help ... we are unarmed ... we can not defend ourselves ... "continued Sam.

Adam did not move or speak.

"I understand, you are afraid to act, as long as they are not with you," Sam said gently.

"I'm not afraid!" Adam growled, but did nothing to hit Sam. "You should have you!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

*

*  
"How the hell should I know?" Asked Castiel dismayed.

"This is not an answer, but another question. You must give me a clear answer: Yes or no? "

"In this case ... .No, I do not pass" Castiel answers.

" And why?"

"Because if you actually do not pass this exam, then my answer will have been correct, and then will have to force me to pass the exam," said Castiel.

"But if it were to pass the exam ... his answer will be wrong, and then he will not have to pass the exam," he said the doctor confused.

"A paradox of logic, Dr. Falken ... just like what he used against me ... ..and if you can not understand it, then she is crazy" Castiel said with a satisfied smile.

I'm getting a headache .... "The doctor said tapping her forehead.

If now I deliver the form a40 I need, take off immediately disorder "Castiel said, taking off in a straitjacket,

"I ... do not - I can not ... .the orders are ...."

 

Castiel had not expected to find resistance and was already preparing for a battle to take the damn form willy-nilly, but Casey suddenly popped into the room without knocking.

"Bad bad bad, doctor, I thought you were a man of his word," he said.

"Casey, what the hell are you doing here?"

"I make sure that the rules are comply with, sir. That boy has stood the test fairly and have the right to be left free."

"Are you crazy? Do you know who this is? You Castiel. We can not let it go ... .the consequences there would be ... "

"I think you should worry more about the consequences there will be for YOU, when you come to know that you missed the word .... And I am sure I'll see that you will come to know, sir. I forbid it, or ask that the court gives a judgment of cancellation for her, since it does not take his job seriously. "

"You can not be serious!"

"Now he chooses. Or deliver the form to the boy, NOW, or if she sees it with superiors ...... is aware of their little problem with anger, no? "

 

Casey turned to look at Castiel with a silent confirmation that his performance was going well ... Castiel smiled at him without being noticed, and a luminescent heat warmed him from side to side ... that guy was on his side ... the first of its party which met in that building of crazy ... .. what was he doing in a place like that? He would try to take him away, although even he was not sure why he had to.

 

 

"I only need this form and then immediately take off the trouble!" Repeated Castiel

"Y- yes, maybe it's better. I am a close to a nervous breakdown, "said the doctor removing the module from the pocket of his jacket.

"Now go away, damn nuisance" Doctor said while Castiel taking the module out of the hands of the doctor, but before he could grab it, people burst into the room.

"Stay away from that module" he shouted one. The doctor immediately withdrew his hand.

"Now they're good and do not move ...." The other said, but did not have time to talk to Casey broke his flower pot on the head, knocking him out instantly; the other tried to react but Castiel threw himself forward to nail him to the ground before he throw himself on Casey.

"Thanks Castiel, I ..." began Casey, but Castiel shouted: "Doctor! Running away, running away! "He shouted, as the doctor ran out panting with the module still in hand.

 

 

Casey gave chase, and Castiel eyed a picture hanging on a chair, that seemed quite heavy, and it smashed on the head of what he kept pinned to the ground, before following in turn.

The professor was able to make only a few steps, which joined him immediately and made him fall to the ground either, causing him to fall on his stomach.

"Do not hurt me, do not hurt me. Here, keep your stupid form "

"THANK YOU" Castiel said sarcastically, finally taking it in hand.

 

Instantly he felt like he seems to feel no more time ... .. the few memories that were not quite back yet, you riaffacciarono his mind with the power of the hurricane .... He remembered even stretches of Jimmy's life, through which owned .... Feel the grace radiate in its bowels, his brain, his heart, and his heart returned to feel full as he did not believe it would have been possible more.

Casey watched him moved. "You're back yourself."

"Yes," Castiel answers smiling.

The professor took the opportunity to sneak away and scream alarm.

Casey looked back, mortified "I believe that from now on, you should take if you want to help your friend Sam. I do not think be able to orbit in this place. "

"Sam? Sam is here? It is in danger? "Asked Castiel, surprised.

"No time for that! Now you have to run. 14 room 4 floor left. Sam is in there. Go. "Said Casey dragging.

"Casey, come with me, surely punish you for what you did," he said Castiel alarmed heard footsteps hurrying up the stairs.

"Move! I I will manage. I take another elevator, "said Casey dragging Castiel in an elevator.

"Casey."

"What now?" He turned back in exasperation.

"Why are you helping me?"

 

Casey looked at him for two seconds, and then said sincerely, "I do not know" before walking away adding only "Fourth floor, remembers" as a reminder to Castiel, before slipping alongside the elevator to Castiel. They barely have time to crush the buttons and close both doors, that the other angels had just arrived.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This time I tried to translate better, but unfortunately in doing so I have to write chapters shorter sorry xd xd


	35. The speech of the three brothers

"I'm not afraid!" Adam growled, but did nothing to hit Sam. "You should have you!"

"Why? I do not think that you kill us, Adam "Sam said quietly.

Adam seemed to struggle against the need to scream or vomit. Gulped, took a deep breath and pointed the gun at Sam's heart ... then, as if he could not avoid it, said: "It was my idea to lock up Castiel in this hospital for crazy, I was convinced that in this way he would be prevented harm "replied with a smirk.

 Sam sighed. To see him well Adam's future was now grown up, and had to have the 34 years or so ... ..it was nearly their own age, but looked as if it was a boy in search of approval.

"Very clever," Dean said with a blank look. His tone was ironic, but Adam did not seem to notice. He turned to Dean and continued:

"Prevent Castiel to remember, to believe in his own mind to be crazy, it was the only way to deprive him of its powers ... without his powers, could not be of help, he was harmless as a child, not to mention that .... "

"Crowley also would disappear with him, when he forgot completely ... and consequently Casey. Really very ingenious. "Sam continued.

Adam seemed oddly draw comfort and courage from the praise of Sam. "Right!" He said. "That's right!"

"But there were times ... when you were not sure of being able to continue this mission, right? You have been an accomplice of almost madness of Castiel but Castiel has not lost all his memories .... Also we had to disappear, and yet we are still here .... They were weak attempts, Adam, so weak, in fact, that as Sam, well I wonder if you really put us everything yourself 'said Dean.

Adam's mouth twitched involuntarily, as if he had tasted something very bitter

"How we are in your future, Adam? Our ourselves, I mean ... do not ... do not we are enemies, right? "Sam wanted to inquire.

Adam is surprise. This question clearly was not expecting. Hiding his face turned to Sam, but Sam was able to see the shadow of a smile cross. That made him hope.

"You ... you ... you tried . It is what you always do, no? You try .... "He stammered Adam grimaced.

 

Something hovers for a moment about of their three ... .Sam was the first to smile, then Dean, Adam and consequently .... Whatever it was, he warmed their hearts, just for a moment.  
But then the spell was broken further.

 

"Enough !! This does not matter, now! "Adam rebelled.

   
"We will ensure that our future remind ourselves of these events," said Sam.  
   
Adam turned again, surprised even more than before.  
   
"What the hell are you saying?"

"It is a thing we said Castiel.

If they want it, angels can do so during a journey through time, the people involved and also their future themselves, they remember "

"But ... Sam and Dean of my time they are not here ... they have never experienced these events ..." Adam replied confused.

"It 'does not matter. They are us. 

nd as we remember, angels can do so to merge our memories with them ... we are always at the end. But it is one thing that can be done only with their self .... "  
   
Adam shook his head.

"So Sam and Dean in the future will know what you have done for us ... and ... and ... you will have alternatives ...." Sam began.

"My alternative! "He shouted Adam. "I'm here with a gun, I'm going to kill you !!"

"Adam, speak clear if you had been able to kill us, you would have already done. You would not have stopped for this pleasant chitchat ... "he objected Dean sarcastically.

"I have no alternative! "Adam exclaimed suddenly, white as Dean. "I have do, or Oliver kill me, kill all of us!"  
The fact that Adam had used the word "we" Dean sounded encouraging.

 

"We recognize the seriousness of your position ... But, Adam, do not you hurt nobody, although it is thanks to a certain amount of luck .... We can help you, Adam. "  
   
Sam thought Dean regard talk with an open heart, sometimes it was better than him and he decided to leave the field open.  
   
"You can not help me, nobody can. He said that if I do not, kill me, or I will go crazy on a wheelchair ... and I can not ... I have no choice ....

 

These words did lead to Sam and Dean that even in the future Adam was not to have harmed them, not more than they should at least ... and this thing they rejoiced.  
"Adam, you're no longer a child ... passes on the right, we can hide you better than you can imagine, goes the right way ..." Dean continued.

"The easier you make ... but what about the other YOURSELF? They HATE me "

"It can not be as you say, you're our brother, we know how we are, and even if we do not know what will happen in the future, we know this, and this will never change," Sam interjected.

"We will make sure that they know today, Adam. "Said Dean. a look that he knew of a promise ....  
   
"Switch on the right side, you're not so ..." continued Sam.  
   
Adam looked confused for a moment, then said straffottente: "But I came up here, right? And now you're in my power ... you are here to ask mercy ... "  
   
"No, Adam. It is our pity, not yours, that matters now, "said Dean hard.  
   
Adam did not speak. His mouth was open, and the hand with the gun was shaking. Dean and Sam believed to see her fall ....

 

Suddenly the door burst open with ferocity and broke three people in the room.

 

 

 

 


	36. Sam is left alone

"Adam, we have to go, Castiel has regained its grace and is coming"

"Hurry to kill those two nosy and then let's go."

Adam looked at them terrified.  
 

"Do it! Soon, "he shouted one of them, but the hand of Adam trembled so much that he could barely take aim.

"We have a problem, Peter, Adam seems unable ..." said the second man.  
   
"I'll do it!" Growled the third, trying to remove the gun from the hand of Adam, who recoiled instinctively.

"No!" He shouted another voice, that of Castiel, when Dean got up and was struggling to raise Sam doing supporting him.  
   
"Stay out of this, Castiel" I warned the guy who had tried to take the gun to Adam.  
   
"I'm sorry, but I can not. "Castiel said," They are my friends that you want to kill. "  
   
"This means that you will die too," said the other.

 

Castiel rushed to the attack and started a fight with his own, while another was about to take him by surprise, but Dean every ounce of energy he managed to grab him and give him a few punches, while Sam was fighting against another.

Castiel managed to kill the angel against whom he was fighting, but the other two were trapped Sam and Dean in a defenseless position.

"Let's see what you do now Castiel, certainly you can not save them both," said the one who held her at gunpoint ... Dean.

  Castiel realized with horror that he was right, and it was then that Adam fired in the air. It was a blow that sliced through the air and frightened all .... It was known that a gun could not anything against the Angels, but the noise made them anyway scare and gave him time to Castiel to storm the angel who kept Dean, and taking advantage of that weakness in the same way, Sam reacted, gave a punch the other angel and managed to break free.

 

Castiel managed to kill the other angels, then Adam looked doubtful. Adam looked at them for a moment, and then disappeared.  
   
   
Sam and Dean looked at the spot where Adam had just disappeared. They knew that Adam could not forget their conversation in that room, the words that they said, just as they could not forget what he had just done, to save them ....

 

Castiel tried to shake them

"We must go there immediately! A short here hell will break loose! "

"Cas, wait, there's Shanna. We can not leave here, "he tried to stop Sam

 

"Who??"  
   
"Is too long to explain himself ... .I did not understand everything ... but it should be behind that wall ... you think you can ....?" Dean intervened.  
   
Castiel no other questions, it blew up, releasing little Shanna still bound and gagged in tears.  
   
"Hurry, hurry," urged them Castiel, checking out the door, while Sam and Dean saw to untie.

 

"No!! They're already coming. It's too late! "Said Castiel desperate, and yet extremely Brothers and Shanna rushed out to try to run away, behind Castiel.

 

 

 

"No we can do it!" Castiel continued undaunted.  
   
"Stop it, Castiel, think of running"grumble Dean.

you do not see that there are on?"

"So what do you do? Give up? "I mimicked Dean.

"No, I want to slow them down," said Castiel backtracking.

"Cas, what the fuck are you doing ???" asked Dean agitated.

"Is the only way, Dean, I have to slow them down, or we will take all" said Castiel decided.  
"Cas, no! We're not leaving without you! "

"You have to find the parche, feel that they are in this building, I feel their presence, find them and arrange things."

 

"Cas, no! We do not know where to look! You have to come with us! "He yelled Sam, but now there was no time ... the angels had arrived, and had clipped Castiel trying with great effort to overcome them .... The brothers directing a look mortified to Castiel went trailing Shanna. Unfortunately one of them managed to reach them and tried to catch Sam. Dean threw him to the ground, furious, punching him, and then another.

 

"Dean! we have to go! "begged Sam ... in the meantime we had arrived others, and Dean was unable to get away in time, which were on him.  
   
"Sam Run away, run away," he said, still beating his fists.  
   
"No!! Dean !!!! "Sam shouted desperately. "I do not leave you," he said trying to reach him to help him, but Shanna held him back.  
   
"No, Sam!"  
   
"Leave me, I have to go help him," Sam said, bursting into tears seeing his brother which was struck by fists, and dragged semiconscious come away with a swollen face.

 

"If we do not find the parche, we will all be lost, please Sam!" Shanna insisted with tears in she eyes, and so it was that Sam with a last look at Dean and afflicted with a broken heart was forced to leave even back him.

 

 Please let that hang in there, does he not dies  desperate thought Sam.

"Sam....I....we have to separate" Shanna said after a few moments.

"WHAT? But what, jokes aside? You have decided to commit suicide all? I am the last on the list? "Sam is pissed.  
   
"I have to find Casey, before you unleash hell here and this place is reduced to ashes ... .I can not let him take" Shanna said.  
   
"Shanna ...." Said Sam.  
   
"Good luck, Sam," she said, giving her a wet kiss on giancia ... Sam did not understand why he was wet, until Shanna not turned to leave, and knew that she was crying.

 

 

 

 

Sam kept running like a madman, not knowing where to go, convinced that he would never find the parche and that sooner or later they would have taken him .... He had tears in his eyes, and just when he stopped for a moment, panting, and began to believe that he was a fool and that he should go back to recall Dean and Castiel, was at that point that he felt a tap on the shoulder from someone .

 

"It seems to be a bad day, do not you, friend?"  
   
Turned. It was Casey, with a beaming smile.

 

"You're just a step away from the goal, Sam ... .dietro that door you will find the service elevators. Go up to the 20th floor and presented to the third door on the right, next to the door there is a fire hammer, use it to break the wardrobe and you will find us in a nice surprise "

Casey said, still beaming

"Casey" muttered Sam thrilled.  
   
"Why are you helping me?" He added.

"It's hard to explain ... I think those of Iperuranium have made me something bad, but I can not remember what ...." Casey replied sad.

"I think  understand you, Casey. Thanks, I owe you."

"Do not waste any more time, now."  
   
Sam was about to leave, but he stayed a little 'to tell him: "Shanna is coming. Do not abandon you. "

"Shanna ???" Casey repeated incredulously, feeling confused, but he could not say more, because Sam had run in the direction he crashed indicated.

Sam was thinking that he could not fully understand what kind of bind Shanna Casey report, but it was clear now, that had not happened that for which it was created ... .combattere Casey ... the two had become friends ... it had to be something that much disliked the upper floors ... feel a sense of pride ... .sangue Winchester was not lying ...

but now he had to think only about how to get out of that situation.  
   
He reached the door, took the hammer, and before entering said to himself: "You have five minutes, Shanna ... .."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Perhaps some scenes will also remember the scene Malfoy and Dumbledore in the sixth book heheh


	37. Do not think there is one thing in this world, I would not do for you

*  
   
Shanna was using her telepathic powers to try to track down Casey, and arrived weary and tired, he was able to locate and reach just in time, before they infilasse in an elevator.  
   
"Casey, my god, finally ...." Almost cried.  
   
"Shanna" said Casey surprised at most.  
   
"Do you remember me?" She asked hopefully.  
   
Casey touched his head and flashes of memories hit him with the force of gunshots ....  
   
"Those men who ... I helped them, I know them"  
   
"Yes"  
   
"Castiel ... he's ..."  
   
"Yes"  
   
"And we are not part of this time ...."  
   
"Yes, Casey, listen"  
   
Casey interrupted with a wave of his hand  
   
"We're ... friends ..." he said, smiling.  
   
"Yes," she said Shanna still approaching him, but suddenly a strong wind was going to drag her back, preventing him from grasping hands of Casey.

 

 

 

 

*  
Sam decided to enter. He cracked the only closet in the room, and found inside the three parche. The cabinet seemed much more spacious seen from the inside, and also noted a ventilation duct to circulate the air, preventing parche to die of asphyxiation. They were tied.

The parche made a long sigh of relief when they saw Sam, but he had no pity for them.  
   
"Because of you, my brother almost died, and now is going to be killed"  
   
The parche were mortified and tried to justify himself by saying that they were caught off guard.

"Where is your canvas stupid ???" Sam said, almost shouting. He knew that at that moment Dean and Castiel could already be dead and the very idea almost took his breath away. He fought so as not to lose Dean, and in the end it was just what was going to happen.

  
The parche, frightened by the violent reaction of Sam, pointed to his face, a point in the wall. The painting hung above them. Sam without thinking, took a chair and pulled it down. It looked like a picture like so many others. was light gray with amid symbols .... Apparently incomprehensible, but Sam chiefs that it was the scheme of an atom inside out ... ..aveva studied these things when he was at Stanford ...

"Reverse polarity ... in other words ANTIMATTER" said Sam  
   
"Sam, what? Deliver us! What do you do? "Said a frugal.

"In theory, the contact between matter and antimatter would result in the cancellation of both ... but antimatter has a theory: in reality we do not know what would happen if it existed ..." continued Sam flatly approaching the fireplace.

"Sam? please do not do it. You do not know what can happen! "  
"You could clear the whole world" tried to stop the parche.  
   
Sam did not care. Dean was about to die, or perhaps he was already dead, and in that case the world was over for him ... had only one chance.  
   
"That's what I think of your stupid canvas!" Said, stracciandola.  
   
The parche stared at the scene in horror, her mouth wide open in an expression of fear and horror.

 

 

 

 

*  
   
Shanna was about to be swept away by the wind got up suddenly, and knew he had started ... and she was not able to ... .. trying to keep my feet firmly planted on the ground, but it was hard.  
   
"Shanna? Shanna, hold on "tried to tell Casey.  
   
Shanna eyed a fuchsia scarf rather long that an old woman was holding his neck, apparently unaware of hell that was about to erupt in the building. Pulled him without too much kindness, scatenandogli mutterings of disapproval, and tried to run it in the direction of Casey, who incredibly, managed to grab it, and a flap was able to pass it on the neck have it without slipping.  
   
Meanwhile both feet were off the ground ... .Shanna yanked forcefully headscarf Casey drawing closer to him ... .l'altro flap was on the neck of Shanna and so it was that, for un'ennesimo yank the two boys They found themselves embraced, weeping, with the scarf that threatened to suffocate them, but surprisingly heartened.  
   
Shanna tried to console Casey, hugging him, saw that he was beginning to cry, even though she was terrified, and with tears in his eyes, seeing the lights begin to fade.

 

*  
   
Sam having torn the canvas, threw it into the fire. The parche cried in horror: "Do not you realize what you just did"  
   
"Not even you, apparently," replied Sam.  
   
He just hoped to have seen us right. That was their only hope.  
   
The earthquake began almost immediately, as well as windows shattered and broken glass ... .sembrava a scene from Titanic ... Sam found him amusing. He did not try to escape, or to escape. The ground was shaking so much that after a few steps he fell to the ground and they soon realized that it was useless.  
As if it was not enough, the wind made flying objects, and perhaps even people .... Hell had fallen and had been to provoke him. After sparking the apocalypse, now this ... maybe this was his fate?  
   
Oddly not perceived to levitate. He had slumped to the floor, and the wind seemed to turn in that direction, and he was glad. He found the cold marble in contact with his face, comforting against the hot tears that had surrounded his face.  
   
His only regret was that, if indeed they would all die at that moment, and the world with them, he could not say goodbye to Dean last time ... he would rather die in his arms alone ...  
   
"The world is not ending ... not now ... I can not die now, without saying goodbye to Dean last time," he said, as one last tear fell off the face and ended up on the floor.  
 

No one should die alone ... thought ....

He hoped that in the brief moments that would be passed between the loss of knowledge, was given the gift of dreaming Dean at least one last time .... He prayed to lose it immediately, so as to pass all that pain, and thank God someone must have heard, because after a few moments you feel gets dark upon himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The parche are old ladies who in mythology sew the lives of human being:) sorry, I could not understand what they're called in English: //


	38. Homecoming

He was lying on a soft couch surrounded by pillows. It seemed to him to do a little 'too hot in that room ... since it does not could be in a morgue.  
 Yet they are dead, he thought. And sneezing.  
The dead do not sneeze, at least that was the prevailing opinion. He churches aid to his memory confused, that resitui the memory of a shipwreck existential. Perhaps he had dreamed. Maybe he was still dreaming.  
   
   
"SAM"  
   
Oh yes, it had to be really dead, to hear that voice.  
   
He saw the face of Dean, and Dean's smile. moved, look down. It seemed bathed in an aura of light.

 

Yet i am dead, he thought. And he smiled.

They dead were not smiling, at least that was the prevailing opinion. He churches aid to his memory confused, that resitui the memory of a universal love. Perhaps he had dreamed. Maybe he was still dreaming.  
   
"Dean ... you're dead, too?" Asked Sam.  
   
"No, Sam. you're alive too, "said the heavenly voice jovially.  
   
Then the voice embraced him. The voice was warm and reassuring. He realized after a few seconds that the voice had arms. Arms warm and enveloping. It was another second in which Sam remembered he had also arms and returned, holding strong.

 

When broke the hug, Sam realized that they were back to the bunker.

 

"Dean, everything is back to normal? Where are the others? Oh God, could it be ... .the remaining ??? "asked suddenly terrified.  
   
"Sam, calm, everything is fine. We returned all of them, "said Dean.  
   
"Good morning to you, you people happy," said a sleepy voice and slammed, Sam identified as the voice of Castiel.

"Castiel ??" asked Sam.  
   
"It has not yet recovered completely" clear Dean softly.  
   
"I can understand," Sam said with a smile.  
   
"I'll have a beer," Castiel said, holding his head and going into the kitchen staggering.

  
   
"What is it, Moose? You seem touched. In the sense of concussion, "he said the voice of Crowley coming from the same room.

"Crowley" Sam said with a chuckle.  
   
"Castiel looks really" touched ". What did you do to that poor man? You have finished knocking him out? "Chided Dean.  
   
Crowley snorted. "I just wanted to give him a list of events ... but he stopped immediately, saying that to throw up. "."

 

"And I believe it! Breed of senile! "Said the voice of Bobby leaving the bathroom.  
   
"Bobby" Sam sighed, going to embrace him,  which returned happy.  
   
"How's Jodie?" He asked then.  
   
"She woke up before you and Dean. we had some clarification on the whole situation, and has shaken a little '... .she wanted to know the child "  
   
"Damn, that's true. How's the baby? "Sam asked.  
   
"Fine. Is fine. "Bobby reassured him. "With the help of Castiel we found that is going on inside her belly. Then I asked if Castiel could make her sleep some more ', and he did. "He said moved. "And now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to keep company with Castiel for the beer," he added.  
   
Sam looked at them a bit 'confused.

 

 

"You know, I'm still stunned. It's understandable. How are you? "Asked Dean fox up a lock of hair.  
   
Crowley snorted a "mollaccioni" without specifying not  who he was referring between Sam and Dean, and Castiel and Bobby.

"I'm still a little 'stunned," said Sam. his head was about to fall forward, on the chest of Dean, who welcomed him immediately in his arms.  
   
"We're really at home? It is not an illusion, this time? "He asked with his head leaning against his chest.  
   
"We are home, Sam. because of you, "he added, resting his head on his brother.  
   
"You saved my life. You saved us all, "he said again sollevandogli his head a little.  
   
"Dean, I was so afraid of losing you." Sam said looking at him.  
 

Dean glanced at Crowley, who was fortunately raised going to check Castiel, throwing away the bottle of beer out of the hands, irritated, and Dean feeling away from prying eyes, raised even more Sam's head, his hands tenendogliela and involving them in a kiss languid and sweet.  
   
"How much I missed this," said Dean.

 

 

"So the happy little family returned to the fold," he said the voice of one of the three angels appeared just in the living room.

  
Sam and Dean leapt to his feet, followed simultaneously by Castiel and Bobby, who, to the surprise of Sam and Dean, you pararono before them.  
"That ... That you are doing ....?" Dean asked.

  
"Come on, move!" Sam encouraged them.

  
"We almost lost you, Dean, and almost were losing Sam. "Bobby said.

  
"We will not let it happen again!" Continued Castiel.

  
Sam and Dean had to try not to be overwhelmed by emotion. They were really parrying in front of them, defying three angels to protect them?

"Touching...but we are not here to fight ... but rather to thank you," said the angel.  
   
"Why do not we thank you went to hell?" She challenged Dean.  
   
"Be careful what you say. You're close to blasphemy "he advised another angel.  
   
"Why, what will you do? Will you try to delete it again, perhaps, since the first time it did not work? "Sam challenged him in anger.  
   
The third angel replied: "You can not believe it, Sam, but we have no fault with what happened. We have tried to prevent it .... "  
   
"Balls ..." a voice hissed angrily, looking at them from across the room. Crowley.

"Crowley," said the first angel who had spoken. "It is true that the bad grass never dies. I see that you survived, too. We can not say to be happy. "  
   
"Why do not you go fuck yourself?" Replied Crowley.  
   
"Oh oh oh that big words ... but I imagine spending time under the skirts of Winchester arrogantelli do become self-confident," he said the second angel, who did not even have time to finish the sentence, he found himself on a fireball who managed to avoid a breath, and a curtain incinerator.

 

"Wrong answer, Crowley" said the angel, and was going to come forward, when Castiel stepped between challenging him, and the others followed suit.  
"You're making a big mistake, that is DEMON DEVIL, and will not bring you nothing but trouble, now and in the future ... I think you already know what will be born from him ..."  
Castiel looked confused, as well as Bobby.

  
"Yes. A good guy, who helped us, and has saved the life when you ANGELS, you should do good, you were about to destroy us, "Sam responded in kind.

  
"We have already said that we have no fault with what they have decided to do in the future! When we understand what our brothers were going to do, we tried to prevent it .... .but you have to admit that let such a creature is born, as well as your .... "The angel said, still incredulous that such an event would occur in the future.

Bobby and Castiel barring eyes looking back at Sam and Dean.

  
"It could kill many people. It is best to delete them altogether, does not? "Dean growled.

  
"Look," sighed the second angel. "We came here just to thank you for having brought all right ... on behalf of ... .Adam ..."

  
"Adam ??? He did not come back in the future? "Sam and Dean were stunned.

  
"I think you talk to your brother this time, puppies" mumbled bored Crowley.

  
Sam and Dean were even more surprised.

"Yes, your brother is in the know. It has memories of what happened to Iperuranium with you. Consider it as a small thank you gift. "Said the angel.  
   
"And with that, we have no debts with you," said the other.  
   
They were all stunned, but before that the angels were about to leave, Dean stopped them.  
   
"Wait"  
   
"What else is there ??"  
   
"Adam ... that ... what he said? He said something about us? "  
   
The angel looked at him with contempt and then said, "He only said not to harm you, to you, your gang, and the dirty demon that you carry with you. "  
   
"Anything else? Did not want to see us? "Sam asked.  
   
"No," said the angel with a contemptuous smile, and then they left.

 

Sam and Dean are fixed, with a thousand questions that cropped up in the mind. But they had no time to even a porsene, Bobby and Castiel broke.  
"Pardon me boys, but those angels have just talked about your own" Creature "he said Bobby trying to stay calm.

  
"Crowley, I also expect you to give me an explanation," he ordered him Castiel.

  
"But how ... do not you told her?" Sighed desperate Sam and Dean, who thought that the worst was over ....

 

Hey, I have not had time ... .l'angioletto here, as soon as I alluded to tell the whole story, he stopped because he was going to throw up ... and the old man here this was too busy looking after his sweet wife ... "

  
Bobby and Castiel looked at them with an expression that terrified them.

  
"Look, maybe you'd better sit down ... we have to give you a good news ...." He announced Sam trying not to laugh to see that Castiel raised his eyebrows until they disappear.  
Crowley slipped away from the living room just in time, before he heard shouting Castiel and Bobby

 

 

"THAT WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT????"

 

 

 

*  
On his return, Criowley is found Bobby  and Castiel intent to drink a beer after another. He, meanwhile, had arrived with a baby bottle and a rattle. Sam and Dean, who were taking care to refresh themselves with a sandwich after all those emotions, looked at him wrong.

"What's up? I thought we should be ready for any eventuality, "he said beaming Crowley making it sound.

  
"Crowley !!! Where did you get that stuff ?? "asked Dean stunned.

"Ohh in some old boxes ... sure, maybe you have to wash them first ..." he looked back at Castiel and Bobby and said, "They took it so badly? Do not worry about, he'll "added cheerful, then stop and look Castiel who continued to slurp alcohol, glaring at him. Sam and Dean knew that gliel'avrebbe made pay dearly, and he threw a knowing look.

  
"Come on guys, do not panic! The family grows and you have to adapt, "he said beaming Crowley, going from Castiel and Bobby.

Meanwhile, Jodie, who had been awakened by the cries of surprise Castiel and Bobby, had prepared the coffee, while still incredulous laugh and rant something that would Desy of little friends to play with. After a while 'Jodie dragged back Bobby in one of the rooms of the bunker stating that he had had enough and that they would stop for the night ... because Bobby was too drunk to drive.  
   
   
Meanwhile Sam and Dean were looking at the effects that alcohol had on Castiel and Crowley that after having tied a handkerchief on his head, it was stunning jokes. Dean whispered to Sam: "Poor" and Sam meanwhile replied "If he sought  it."

 

 

 

"Bar number No. 20: When I was little, my parents moved twelve times, but each time I managed to find them ... beat number 21 ...." Said Crowley.  
   
"Enough, pity ... I'm half senile ..." he begged Castiel sitting in the chair.  
   
"Ahh then you're better than usual (under number 20 - a) bar 21, I said .... The phone rings, a robot approaches and asks: What's it about? "  
   
"From the stop it ... and that's fine, I drank, but it does not seem appropriate to make me pay so" said Castiel still with his eyes closed.  
   
   
"SILENCE, drunk!" Joke 22: do not tell you idiot because otherwise you to your head! "Crowley continued sciogliendogli handkerchief head, wetting it still a bit 'and then rimettendoglielo forehead" joke 23: but what's in your head ? Not the brain, you're sitting on that !! "  
   
"Beat 24: Mom, dad is bad! Shut up Peter, and eat, there's more!  
Measure 25: how do you break up a gathering in Edinburgh? Just make up a collection.

 Measure 26 ...... "  
   
"ENOUUUUUUGH!!" shouted Castiel putting a pillow over his face.

 

 

 

Sam and Dean were giggling as they tried to slip away to get some 'privacy, but Crowley stopped them: "However, before you guys keep away for the pair, I wanted to thank you ... ..."  
   
Sam and Dean looked at him amazed.  
   
"But you ... do not let me repeat ... is embarrassing enough the first time ... of course you have been great, you know ... you saved Pellacchia to everyone" snorted.  
   
Sam and Dean smiled. "Do not ... do not mention it," they exclaimed embarrassed.  
   
"Anyway, it's not fair that you now you have fun and I'm here to take care of an angel alcoholic, that's" huffed, but had no way to say anything other than, Castiel took him by the collar and gave him a kiss, silencing him instantly .  
Crowley even surprised not moved, and Sam and Dean smiled, before leaving. They had the impression that Crowley would not have felt their absence.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He had not translated well, but practically Crowley tells jokes to make him pay for castiel that is drunk ahha


	39. You saved me, so you will save

They went into Sam's room, closing the door behind them. Sam had insisted not to go into the room of Dean, and Dean imagining why, he had pandered. Sam was looking at the window, in the dark night now. Dean came up behind her, hugged him from behind, feeling Sam sigh that gesture, and in a gesture of tenderness hugged him even more.  
   
"Why did not you want us to go to my room?" Whispered Dean.  
   
"I do not want"  
   
"Why?"  
   
"I do not want just. But what is this third degree? Your room, my room ... Which is the difference. However, our room, right? "  
   
"Sam, why do not you look at me?"  
   
Sam sighed, throwing his head back a little, and swallowing.  
   
Dean made him turn with determination and kissed him, holding his face in his hands, feeling the tears Sam down immediately.  
   
"You know that if you come in this room do not see any change, right? You know that everything is still as it was left, before .... "Dean began.  
   
"Shut up and continue to kiss me," said Sam.  
   
And Dean did. He pushed him to the wall, continuing to kiss him on the mouth, and then her neck, holding his shirt just a little raised and just touching the skin under her shirt.  
   
"Dean, take me, I want to hear about me, inside me," Sam said, unbuttoning his shirt.  
   
Dean replied with another kiss to those requests, trying not to come without even being touched, only the words of Sam. They undressed each other and lay down on the bed, with Dean continued to caress and explore Sam's body, with hands and mouth piazzandogli anywhere hot kisses, while Sam sighed with pleasure and Dean thought that nothing was more beautiful than he can resume finally be able to touch he, kiss he , and you can listen again those wonderful moans.  
 

   
"I feared keen to lose" whispered Sam.  
   
"There is no me, if you're not here, Sam," Dean told him continuing to kiss his chest.  
   
"I went so close ... .."  
   
"Look at me. Look at me. NOBODY-  WILL- EVER- DIVIDE, "Dean said, holding his face in his hands.  
   
Sam raised more, squeezing Dean even more of him, looking even more proximity.  
   
Dean sighed. ""You seem made to be curled up on me. We match like two damned koala. "  
   
That sentence made him remember something.  
   
"We match much to defy the laws of nature and also of physics," Sam said,  giving a caress his shoulder with small concentric circles.  
   
"Think about Shanna, is not it?" Said Dean, who unable to stay still for too long because of the passion he felt burning inside, gave him little kisses on his back to Sam, before starting to go flat within him  
   
"Yes. I'm sorry you do not ... ..not you could see "  
   
"See what?" Asked Dean, who now had his head clouded with pleasure.  
   
Sam did not know what to say ... it was absurd, but maybe it was worth a try ... if believed, could possibly succeed  
   
Let us succeed ... ..pensò.  
   
"Dean, stop for a moment, please."  
   
Dean stopped confused. "Che..che there, Sam? I hurt you, perhaps? "worried now.  
   
"No!! .voglio ... I try to do something "and in doing so put his hands on Dean's face, which remained confused long enough to make you think that Sam was an idiot ... ..but then suddenly Dean's expression changed. I stared ??. "But what the hell ...." And Sam knew succeeded.  
   
   
   
Dean saw the scene of Dean and Sam's future fighting over the red paint. "Excuse me," said the Dean of this ... .Sam knew he was referring to that episode, because now their minds at that time were connected, and said: "Do not apologize, continues ... do not stop" and then Dean resumed go into Sam, but slowly, almost sensually, is totally wrapped by the visions of Sam.

   
"I love you, Sam," Dean said  
"I love you too Dean" they both said, echoing their future themselves.  
   
Shanna met again with the bridesmaid dress, next to Jodie. Dean smiled and thought it was beautiful.  
   
They also saw Shanna write in his diary, all his thoughts ...  
   
"This is the love? This feeling suddenly light and heavy at the same time? "Dean repeated in a broken voice, was touch, as he continued to move in with him.  
   
"It was not until that day that I had the gift of seeing me break the dullness of my thoughts. I was conceived in love, and, until then I had not noticed "Sam repeated aloud, tears himself.

   
   
Shanna saw that looked "Raven" with them, Shanna coming down from the carousels and kiss their cheeks.  
   
   
   
"Oh, man, Sam ... .we really ...... .It comes to US ... ..this wonder ... ..the our love has really created ......"  
   
"Something as wonderful? Yes," said Sam with wheezing.  
   
   
Dean felt happy as never before, and knew that Sam felt the same, and in that moment of ecstasy, in which both fully realized this truth, orgasm swept them away like lightning, leaving them full of them. Satiated.  
   
And despite the fullness of the time had been fulfilled, however, Dean hugged Sam, kissed him on the head and in turn rested her head on her, fell asleep so happy, like two children who had a great need to find shelter from the arms. Dean knew that it was always so. They would have never stopped looking for the shelter of each other. No matter how much they would grow.


	40. We will ask why ... the world knows everything about us ...

Here we are, Dean. At last I reply to your letter. I wanted to do it right away, but with everything that has happened the very next day, while we were at the home of Bobby, I did not have the time ....  
   
I answer now. I know you've never been able to forgive the story of Jessica ...I remember

again when in the history of Osiris, the Egyptian god, climbed back out of your guilt for getting me back to the street fighter ...  
 Even you were feeling guilty because Jessica was dead ... I was things that I already knew, but I did not believe that thought again .... And I want to tell you two things:  
 

THE FIRST: is that even if in the past I have made you weigh a bit 'of bringing me in this life, and I'm sorry, I was young, I was selfish, I was stupid, I would like you to know that just to have you back with me, I agreed to follow you, Dean. it was not an obligation, it was my CHOICE. I had already told you when you were sick that day to the caves ... but I feel the need to repeat it so that you understand him well.  
   
IT IS IMPORTANT THAT YOU UNDERSTAND IT.  
   
Myself far from you and Dad to go to study at Stanford, has been much more difficult ... I was separated from you. And I'm glad you're back to recover.  
   
THE SECOND THING: You that day you saved my life. If I had not come back that night, I would probably be burned together with my girlfriend. I never had the vision and the strength to get out of that room. And I never thanked you for that. Even more so I never asked because that day you came back; There we were greeted, we had reason to go back.  
Why did you do? I want to believe that you did it because you could not, you were not ready to give up on me, to let me go.  
   
I'm glad you did.  
   
You say that home is where I'll be there. it's funny, because I've always thought the same thing too. why do you think I agreed to follow you everywhere, otherwise?

 

THIRD WHAT: As for our parents .... I always felt the lack of a mother, Dean, but I never tried to find it in you ... like you said, we need each other on an equal footing.  
   
Yes, I got that. Perhaps on a subconscious level, not just rationally, but I understood that you needed me. Have you always played to make the hard, but I still could see in you the most sensitive part ... and now I wonder if it was because I was the one to be equipped with a special sensitivity, or because it was just me that you concedevi this privilege.  
   
You say that my eyes must have done quite a lot 'of damage? I tell you that before going to Stanford, the girls told me they would like to be watched by me as I watched my brother. I swear, they just said so. And I could not tell this thing, or you would have made fun of me for life for this!  
   
Anyway, I too was losing so many times when you were looking at me with that look, like you're the most precious thing in the world.  
   
And your arms around me have always made us feel safe. Protected. Loved.  
   
And you really want to continue to be jealous? Be careful what you ask for, so far I have tried to stop myself ... but if you insist so much ....!

Ok, rereading your letter I realize that we are entering into sappy parts, and damn it, Dean, you're better than me in these things .... I can not fully describe the feeling I have for you, because I always seem that words are never enough ...

 

FOURTH THING: I seemed to go crazy when you were trying to fight and reject what was between us .... I wanted you so desperately to feel bad, but the worst was when I realized that you wanted me and you hold back. I could accept the fact that you do not want me. I suffered, but I would have accepted, but know that you wanted me, you wanted me, I felt something ... it was just too much.

 

FIFTH THING: When you finally told me your feelings was how to reach ecstasy, and then when I lost you, it was like dying. I have no idea how I felt when I touched your grave. I wanted to die. I would have done if you had not stopped me shanna.  
I never want to go through that incredible feeling of emptiness. I do not want to lose you again. I know I look like a pathetic teenager in love. Indeed a pathetic girl in love, as you like to say to you. But it's what I feel.  
And you're right. No one can separate or divide us.

  
SIXTH THING: On the one hand I would like to forget everything that has happened during the sad ending dell'iperuranium but on the other I do not want. I can not.

 

My hostility is all for them, the angels, who always seem to hate each other and fight to ruin our lives most of the demons, despite all that we did to this world; but I have not forgotten the fear in Adam's voice that day, and not even the fact that it had lowered the gun before the arrival of the other angels  
   
I know you have not forgotten. I know you, Dean.  
   
Dean, is our brother. We need to save him from the darkness. We need him. I know we can do it. I know that we will succeed.  
   
SEVENTH WHAT: Do I talk about Shanna? I just tell you that the best thing you could give me, after your love, was just that. Shanna is a part of you and me, we are merged into one body, and is yet another demonstration that together we form a wonderful thing. We did it. She is wonderful. We are. Together we are. And this is the proof. I already know that we will love her with our whole selves, because she is ... .we ... .. I stop because otherwise I start to move me, and then I can feel the lack of your arms, and I can no longer concentrate on writing. You have made me an addict. I hate you.  
   
And I love you to death  
   
sam

 

 

 

 

Sam went back into the room, resting with care the letter on the desk, wiping his eyes a little. Dean was still asleep. Sam had awakened early that morning, because he wanted Dean read the letter just wake up, because he knew that he could not write it on the sly during the day, without being discovered by him.  
   
He walked a little Dean, watching him sleep, but just sat on the edge of the bed, Dean with a lightning move the arm grabbed his side and pulled him, causing him to fall on the bed beside her. Sam laughed. "I thought you were asleep," he said.  
   
"I thought you were asleep. Here, next to me, "she said Dean, still asleep, eyes closed, surrounding it for the chest.  
   
Sam did not find a clever thing to say at the moment, mainly because Dean had started to stroke her legs under the covers.  
   
"But you do not get enough," said Sam somewhere between amused and touched.  
   
Dean continued to smile, but his tone became of a serious stroke, and stopped to pet him.  
   
"Do you really think it's just for sex?"  
   
Sam looked at him for a moment, frightened by the thought of saying something that could have hurt him. Dean continued to smile, despite what his tone was serious.  
   
"No! I'm sorry if I said .... I do not think, I know that is not so "

Dean continued to look, serious, without saying anything, and Sam added hastily, terrified: "I was just kidding."  
   
Dean held him still on the rope for a few seconds, and then gave him a sweet kiss, feeling Sam sigh of relief on his lips.  
   
"I was enjoying just your expression," and breathed on her lips.  
   
"Sadistic bastard that you are nothing," Sam began, but the other insults he had in mind were swallowed up again by the Dean's lips.  
   
"It's not just for sex," the Dean said between kisses and another rubbing on her face and on her neck.  
   
"I know, Dean," Sam replied softened.

 

 

 

 

*

   
"Is not that strange?" He asked after a few minutes, Sam, lying next to Dean.  
"What?"  
   
"Do not fight anymore ... .before we fought all the time," he said.  
   
"Before ... you mean before they stick together?" Dean asked the sly.  
   
Sam was silent, blushing slightly.  
   
Dean chuckled. "I think there's always been something between us, a kind of" sexual tension ", even though we did not realize there ... a magnetism, as if our bodies would attract one another, and when this need has been met, the tension is gone, "Dean said with his fingers stroking Sam's cheekbones.  
   
Sam looked at him in surprise: "You realize you're talking about kind of soul mates, right? A hard as you ... "Meanwhile Sam thought of having to be nicknamed Sam the idiot. Why had not he written those things in the letter?  
   
Dean did not answer, only made a slight grimace with his mouth that he could say "boh can be", all taken by Sam cheekbones, and Sam suddenly roused him from slumber  
   
"Hey, you stop?"  
   
"Stop what?" Dean asked in passing tortured his mouth with his fingers, giving him a funny look.  
   
"Jerk," Sam said trying not to laugh, trying to block his arm, but Dean did not appear to surprise and steadied his arm with which he tried to block it.  
   
"If you want to argue with me you have to commit more than this," he said Dean whispering in his ear.  
   
"If ... .continui to stroke so, I find it hard to commit," said Sam amused  
   
"So you want" Dean said, taking up to kiss him. They embraced again and slept well.

 

 

 

 

 

*  
   
Crowley had entered the room Sam and Dean, after having found that they slept, and were not naked. He looked at them for a moment and then slipped near the desk and looked at the letter that Sam wrote to Dean. read a few lines, interested, and then bring himself to snatch away to Castiel.  
Crowley turned to him with a hint of annoyance and a question mark on his forehead. Castiel looked exasperated mimicking the following sentence: "I am personal things" and then adding another word more softly, which Crowley sounded like "Pervert"  
   
"Just wanted to make sure the writing was good," he said even more softly.  
   
Castiel looked at him very badly, not believing a single syllable.  
   
Castiel's expression became terrified when he saw Crowley approached Sam and Dean still asleep and embraced.

   
"If we find out here, we bury a tornado" mimed to Crowley as he began to think of that possibility dazed. "How do I explain it to him then?" He thought to himself.  
   
"Quiet" mimed Crowley brush past Sam's hair. Castiel would have liked to give him a blow on the head, but doing so would have woken them instantly.  
   
"What the hell are you doing?" he asked.

 

"Nothing, it's just that I do not think that I would allow him to be awake," he grinned.

  Castiel thought Crowley was an idiot, yet extremely he stroked the top of Dean hair, knowing however that he and Crowley were two jerks.

  "Did you see? Also you had to do it, "he teased Crowley.  
   
"Do you realize that our attachment to them is something morbid, do not you?" Castiel said.  
   
"Ever since their" Crowley said watching them malicious.  
   
Castiel looked at him still badly and Crowley said quickly: "Hey, I was joking."  
   
Castiel smiled and took his arm before saying: "Let's go now, before they know we're here and begin to fly scissors."  
   
Before leaving the room still Crowley said, "Maybe one day someone will write their story, the story of Sam and Dean, an epic story, we will read and think: Hey, we were there" said hefty.

 

Castiel paused thoughtfully in the doorway of the room and said, "maybe one day someone will write our history, an epic story, we will read and think, hey we were there."  
   
Crowley stared at him, wondering if he really heard what he had just heard, or if it was just a strange form of auditory hallucinations. After quite a bit 'of centuries could be that the hearing was going to fuck off.  
   
"What is it, Crowley? You seem moved. In the sense of concussion "he teased Castiel making him the direction of his sentence last night.  
   
Crowley looked at him with an amused grin, closed the door quietly the room Dean and Sam and Castiel banged on the wall, who laughed amused saying, "Hey, how much enthusiasm, looks that are taller and stronger than you, I could free myself in a second if vol ... .. "the rest of his words were swallowed up by the lips of Crowley who quieted instantly, which returned not seeming very sorry.

 

 


End file.
